A Change of Heart
Chapter 11: Revelation
It was a strange sensation. To be alive and yet, to be dead. She was of the world, but she was not. She continued to wander across the land, helping those in need, destroying those that held evil hearts, and wondering what was her purpose.
Kikyo walked elegantly through the forest, her pale complexion radiating in the sunlight. Her soul collectors hovered around her, assuring her that her life would sustain for the moment. Her raven hair seemed to float behind her and her brows furrowed ever so slightly in concentration. What is my purpose? she asked herself, trying to figure out why the thread of life was woven so deeply.
Her thoughts flickered back to not even a day ago. She could clearly see Kagome's face as she was struck by the fatal arrow, falling to the ground in a pool of blood. But it had been her own fault. If only the wretched girl had given up the Sacred Jewel that rightfully belonged in Kikyo's possession, than she would still have her life. What a foolish child.
But were those thoughts only an excuse? The undead priestess's eyes saddened as she thought back to Inuyasha. He had looked so broken, so disgusted by what she had done. There wasn't anger in his eyes. No, he could never be angry with her. Even when she had pinned him to that tree fifty years ago, he held no real fury against her.
His amber spheres, usually sparked with lust and doubt, swirled with distrust. The half-demon had never expected her to shoot down the girl, let alone take her life. Kikyo knew that Kagome harbored some dark feelings towards her, but death had always been far from her mind.
A soul collector came through the treetops, causing Kikyo to stop and lift her hand. The demon landed gently on her finger, relaying the information she desired. "I see," she spoke aloud. "So that foolish girl did die after all." Memories came flooding back. How many times had Kagome risked her life or saved Kikyo from the darkness of death? It was because of that time-traveling girl that Kikyo still wandered the world of the living, giving her numerous chances to destroy Naraku and complete her unfinished business. This posed a new question.
Why did Kagome bother to save her at all? She knew that Kikyo was the only thing standing in the way between her love for Inuyasha. Would she have such a pure heart as to save the woman the half-demon yearned for, even though she was trying to take his life? It made no sense.
But Kikyo didn't care about the girl's intentions or why she did what she did. For some strange reason, her thoughts continued to flicker back to Inuyasha, to that expression on his face when she killed Kagome. Her heart ached. Did this mean that after all the betrayal and hatred the two of them shared, she still loved him?
"Have I become so evil?" she asked the wind, turning to look back from where she came. "Have I truly stepped away from my path as a priestess, to kill a mortal girl because she was a threat to my dead soul?" Her eyes softened as the breeze touched her. She didn't feel it swipe against her skin, for she was only made of clay and graveyard soil. Ever since her demise, she was unable to feel the rain upon her or feel the grass beneath her feet. It made her feel empty, as hollow as the body she lived in.
She was a priestess who was unable to leave the world of the living to reach the Sacred Place. Then again, that wasn't entirely true. She used to be a priestess. Now she was nothing but a corpse with a false existence. And she knew that no matter how much she desired to do good and restore her position as High Priestess, she lived off the souls of the dead. That in itself was a sin, darkening her soul to the point where it would never be pure.
As the trees danced around her and her soul collectors hovered wearily, she began walking towards the pull of a large Jewel Shard, one which rested around a dead woman's throat. However, I am most intrigued by Kagome. The young priestess did not belong in their world, and yet, she was always kind and saved the one person standing in her way of her love. Her selflessness exceeds my own. It seems she stays in this world to complete the Sacred Jewel.
She paused in her steps, a thought suddenly occurring. Whenever she was in Kagome's presence, she never detected a spec of darkness in the girl's soul, nor a trace of cloudiness in the jewel's glow. Even if Kagome was her reincarnation, Kikyo's soul still harbored angry feelings towards Inuyasha since her demise. Only the most good hearted of spirits could make the Shikon Jewel so pure with an underlying layer of darkness. Could there truly be such a person?
Kikyo knew what she had to do. There was a chance her life would be lost and heartache would fall upon her, but she had to do one more good deed before she left this world. Perhaps it would be enough to make certain her soul would eventually reach the Sacred Place. With her ebony hair flowing behind her and her soul collectors following her every movement, she disappeared into the forest.
Sesshomaru lowered Tenseiga from its raised position so it pointed towards the ground. His eyes never left the dead mortal girl lying before him.
Confusion flashed across Inuyasha's face. "What the hell?" he demanded, wondering what his brother was doing. "Save her, damn it!"
The demon threw him a cold stare. "It is not within my power," he responded stoically. "Tenseiga has the ability to bring others to life. However," He returned his gaze to Kagome. "This woman ... her soul refused."
Inuyasha stared at him with disbelief. "You bastard!" He stood up and clenched his fists, growling. "What the hell are you tryin' to say?"
He sheathed his father's fang. "Does she harbor any feelings of hatred? Does she wish not to be brought back from the dead?" His eyes swiveled to his lowly half-brother, trying to reason with him. If the girl died, it was not his problem. He didn't care for her nor did he care for Inuyasha. It was the brimming curiosity that kept him rooted in that spot.
Sango glanced down at Kagome, all hope wiped from her face. A whimper escaped her lips as Inuyasha turned to her and she buried her head into Miroku's chest. "Be strong," he mumbled to her, noting the tears streaming down the young fox's face.
"That's it?" Inuyasha asked aloud, strength suddenly disappearing. "There isn't anything else that we can do?"
Kaede shook her head when he eyed her, asking for assistance. "Gathering the rest of the Shikon Jewel would take far too long. Without Kagome's ability to see the shards, precious time would be lost and her soul would eventually move beyond yer reach." A weary sigh escaped her lips as she shakily stood, shuffling towards the door. "I shall fetch some water," she mumbled, although her words fell on deaf ears.
The young time-traveling priestess reminded Kaede so much of her older sister when she had been alive, but at the same time the two shared very different personalities. But for Kagome to die, it was like she was losing a loved one all over again.
She stepped over to the stream and picked up the bucket she had been using hours earlier before Kagome had been taken to her hut. The old woman was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't recognize the familiar presence until the person was standing just beside her. Quickly, she stood up and turned to face the newcomer.
"Kikyo," she said breathlessly. Very rarely did her sister come to visit and only when she needed information regarding Naraku or Inuyasha.
"Hello, Kaede," the undead woman greeted effortlessly.
Kaede eyed her wearily. "What brings ye here?"
Her eyes shifted to the hut. "Kagome is dead." It was more than a statement than a question.
"Aye," her sister responded. "And by yer own doing."
They were silent for a moment as the wind danced around them. "Do you believe I have become heartless?"
The elder priestess was taken aback by her words. "No, sister," she replied truthfully. "But the Kikyo before yer demise would not have taken the life of a mortal girl. She was a kind-hearted woman who knew no boundaries with ways to help others. Never would my sister betray her teachings and harm an innocent human."
Kikyo absorbed the words her sister spoke. She turned and gazed at the old woman. "You have become very wise over the years, Kaede. If I had lived to know the ways of the world, I too would understand the difference between good and evil."
"Kikyo," Kaede mumbled, trying to reason with her. Yes, she had changed since her resurrection. But she was still her sister and never would she want to lay harm to her.
The undead priestess shook her head. "I've made up my mind, Kaede. In only a few short moments, I shall leave this world for good." Without another word, she turned towards the hut, her soul collectors following.
Kaede watched her sister leave, saddened by the thought of her death. But it was still comforting to know that Kikyo would once more become the woman who she admired fifty years ago. Perhaps this time around, her death would be a peaceful one and finally her soul would rest.
Kikyo walked towards the hut and pushed away the bamboo covering, letting the dusk light filter in. The grieving group huddled inside turned to see who dared to enter. Inuyasha's eyes widened in realization. "Kikyo," he mumbled breathlessly, startled to see the one who killed Kagome standing in the doorway.
Her eyes surveyed the collections of strangers she had crossed paths with over the few years since her resurrection. She stepped inside and let the door fall shut behind her. "You," Kouga growled, clutching his hands into fists and crouching down, ready to spring upon her. The unfamiliar scent laying still in Kagome's blood matched the woman before him. "You were the cause of Kagome's death!" He was angry to realize that she had dared to show her face in his presence after what she had done.
"Is it true then?" she spoke softly, eyeing Sesshomaru. Her voice stopped Kouga's rage in its tracks. "Even though he possesses the sword of healing, he is unable to bring her back." Kikyo peered at Kagome's pale form before turning towards Inuyasha. He had a bewildered look in his face. But his eyes ... they didn't consist of anger or hatred at all, as many would presume, but rather they spoke of hurt and distrust.
The dog demon eyed the priestess before turning his gaze to the sword by his side. Tenseiga began to pulse. "You want me to use you?" he asked quietly, so not even Inuyasha could hear. "To save that woman's life?" He brought he sword over his head. It seemed that with Kikyo's presence, his father's fang would be able to bring back Kagome's soul. At least, partially.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes momentarily, concentrating on the power of Tenseiga as it coursed through his veins, waiting for the messengers from the netherworld to make their appearance. When he opened his eyes, a single swing of his sword dispersed the little gremlins to ash.
Inuyasha, just noticing his brother's actions, turned to watch. "What the hell are you doing?" he growled, no longer worried about Kikyo's presence. His only concern was that Kagome be brought back from the dead.
The Lord of the West spoke no words, he merely narrowed his eyes after he completed his deed. Inuyasha followed his gaze and watched as Kagome's chest began to rise and fall. Her heart beat softly in her chest as color slowly returned to her cheeks. The wounds on her stomach and chest had healed, leaving no trace that any injury had occurred at all. "Kagome ... "
Kikyo glanced up at him, determination in her yes. "Inuyasha," she said. Her voice was not as cold as it one was, but rather it returned to the warm touch it held before her death fifty years ago. "Kagome will not wake up." He stared at her as she spoke, unsure how to react. Saying he was confused was an understatement. Everything was happening so fast, he couldn't grasp the concept of it all. "As long as I live, Kagome's soul will not return to her body."
She gracefully stepped over to him, concern flashing in her auburn eyes. "I can give my life for her." Everything was quiet in the hut as he pondered her words. Inuyasha stared into her eyes, remembering each moment the two of them had shared. In every memory since he met Kikyo all those years ago, she had been present with a smile on her face until the day she died. She was his first love, the first human to actually understand him.
"Lady Kikyo," Miroku spoke up, drawing attention towards him. "If you gave up your soul, there is a fair chance that you will die."
A small smile flitted across her lips as she nodded curtly. "I know. I do not belong in the world of the living." She turned back towards the half-demon. "My life ended fifty years ago. I have no right to be here." She didn't wait for a response as she knelt beside Kagome. If I can give up my soul to save another, I will no longer harbor the hatred that I resented towards Inuyasha. A tear slid down her face as she turned around, taking one last look at the man she used to love.
Inuyasha watched the small droplet trickle down her cheek before falling soundlessly off her chin. And then he knew. This would be the last glimpse of her he would ever get. Suddenly he felt a wave wash over him. He didn't want her to go, not again. Would he be able to cope with the loss this time? With a mournful expression, he took a step towards her and reached out a hand, as if offering to hold her close until death tore them apart again.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "This is the way it has to be." Hesitantly, he withdrew his offer and watched as she opened her eyes and turned back to Kagome's still body.
Kaede stood outside the doorway, bucket in hand, as she listened to her sister's words on the other side of the door. Kikyo was willing to give up her own life to save Kagome's. Her lips crinkled into a smile. This was the woman who she admired when she was a child. This was the priestess that protected their village and kept the Sacred Jewel pure.
Perhaps after everything she had gone through, Kikyo would finally be able to find peace after so much tragedy and betrayal in her life. Taking a deep breath, Kaede stepped inside the doorway so she wouldn't be noticed, taking one last look at her sister. She caught a glimpse of the smile that Kikyo once wore before she died, before her heart was consumed by hatred. The old woman's heart lurched as she prepared herself to watch her sister's death a second time.
Kikyo's life flashed before her eyes, recalling every emotion she felt during the happier times. Now that she had restored her soul to the purity it had become, she would be able to rest in peace. And maybe someday, when the clouds parted and she made her return from the Sacred Place, she'd be just an ordinary girl.
With those thoughts in mind, her face took hold of a serene expression. She closed her eyes, placed her hands on Kagome's stomach, and let go.
A/N: I'd like to throw a shout-out to Black and White Kirara. Congrats on the guess of why Kagome couldn't be brought back to life. Like I said, perhaps I'm denser, considering I thought it was pretty good. lol. Only a few more chapters left. Let me know what you think of it.
Side note: If you want some really good reads, check out my community. I've read all the stories there and they are truly the best of the best.