TITLE: Five Firsts
AUTHOR: ponderer
SUMMARY: Five firsts with Ron and Hermione. Not the ones you may have thought of.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is it, folks! Sorry that it ends as it does, but sometimes I think the not so happy endings are what lead to reality's version of a happy ending. So, please, let me know what you think of this!

I wouldn't be writing if I didn't have such a supportive group of readers and reviewers. Even though you're silent, it means a lot to see so many hits on my work. It makes me feel really good about what I do and write. Truly and honestly, thank you, everyone.

I was asked to write another series with Five More Firsts, but I would need some ideas. So, feel free to say what you'd like to see if I care to make another part to this series!

So, now, go on, read and enjoy!

Five Firsts: Part the Fifth B

The first break-up.

Harry sat huddled on the floor with Hermione for quite some time, letting her cry like never before; but it reminded him greatly of when Ron had left before. Except this time, it held a finality. Harry felt horrible for the woman who sat sobbing in his arms, and he knew he owed it to his other friend to comfort him in his time of need, but knew he was pressed to choose between the two.

Luckily, his future wife strode into the room.

"Harry? Hermione? What's going on?" she asked, hurrying to Hermione's free side. This brought on a new round of tears and Hermione quickly threw herself in the other girl's arms. "Oh sweetheart, everything will be fine," she consoled, rubbing her back. Hermione's fingers were clenched in Ginny's dress, and Harry could see the stress of the day taking over. Over Hermione's head, Ginny looked at Harry worriedly.

He mouthed her brother's name with a sad shrug of his shoulders and he watched as she sighed, bringing her arms tighter around Hermione. He pointed to the direction of the door and his fiancé nodded in understanding. He leaned down and kissed Hermione's head, squeezing her gently before making a quick exit. He knew Hermione would be fine in Ginny's care.

Harry looked through every door to find Ron but only found emptiness. He walked through the kitchen and went outside, passing family members he had yet to meet. He caught Arthur's eye and he wordlessly pointed in the direction of the small lake that he had often swum in as a teenager. Harry nodded and strode off to wear his best friend was sure to be hurting.

He found him staring off into the distance, his suit jacket lying beside him on the grass, his tie loose around his neck. Harry made his way through the cut grass, hearing the party behind him.

"Not now Harry," Ron murmured, not turning to face him. Harry ignored him and sat on the ground beside him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said. Ron huffed, but said nothing else. "What happened up there Ron was Hermione being upset because of how much she loves you, not that she wants to end things. In fact, she wants to further things. She feels that you don't want to be with her forever." Ron turned to him with his mouth open in reply but Harry continued. "I know that you want that Ron, I do, but would it hurt you to mention it to her once in awhile?"

They sat in silence for a few comfortable moments, Ron finding solace in his best friend's company. "I want to marry her, I've known that forever. But she can't act this way every time she doesn't get her way right away. This is a two-way street here, and I can't just read every reaction she has and immediately know what's wrong. She needs to tell me these things."

Harry agreed with his friend, knowing how hard it was for Hermione to communicate sometimes. She was embarrassed, he was sure, and he felt sorry for her. Ron went on, "This time I'm not going back to her because I know I wasn't in the wrong. If she wants forever with me, she'll have to be the one that gets it because I just don't have the strength to go running for her again."

After a moment's pause he said, "Okay, Ron." Ron nodded looking back towards the water. Harry wasn't sure how long they sat there together, not saying anything, but he knew that Ron needed his company although he had earlier denied it. Finally, Harry clapped his friend on the back and made to stand up.

"I just want to say before tomorrow and everything, congratulations. I know you two will be extremely happy together," he said, still looking out at the water. Harry couldn't make himself smile but he nodded to Ron's back and made his way back to the house. Ron sighed and closed his eyes, a tear falling down his pale cheek.

-

Hermione was on autopilot the next morning, again dressing in Ginny's room that was full of tulle and lace. Mrs. Weasley cried at any opportunity but Hermione could see that Ginny was barely holding herself together so she knew she was going to have to stay strong, or at least pretend to be. The cherry on top of the cake was that the day was turning out to be absolutely beautiful for the time of year and everything was running smoothly. She had gotten almost no sleep the night before and was only running on the three cups of coffee Mr. Weasley had brewed downstairs early in the morning. His refusal to acknowledge her silent wallowing made her love for her second father grow. Before he left the room and their eye conversation ended, he clasped her tenderly on the shoulder and then exited, humming the Muggle Wedding March.

Back in Ginny's room, she had become the perfect Maid of Honor by going above and beyond her call of duty. She anticipated everything and anything Ginny would need for the day (including a bed sheet for privacy during restroom use) as well being perky and upbeat. She refused to allow her hurt over the previous night's woes affect Ginny and Harry's day in any way, shape, or form.

Ginny watched her friend through a careful eye, noting how Hermione was hiding any sort of emotion besides hopeless happiness for her best girlfriend. But, she also knew that trying to fix that could potentially ruin her wedding day and vowed to fix things once her own vows were made.

"Hermione, it's time to put her dress on," Mrs. Weasley said, breaking Hermione's thoughts. She nodded and smiled, helping her bring the lacey gown from its bag. Ginny lifted up her arms as her mother and maid of honor slipped the dress over her white slip, bringing it carefully past her updo hair and veil until it fell gracefully to the floor beneath her feet. Once again, Mrs. Weasley fell into a burst of tears at the sight of her only daughter. Hermione too felt tears in her eyes. Ginny watched her in hope.

"You look perfect," she murmured, the first honest smile gracing her face. Ginny's award winning grin lit up the room with a magnificence that made all three women glow to new heights. As they looked at Ginny's reflection in the long mirror, they all remembered the reason why they were there.

-

Ron stood next to Harry at the archway with the wizard who would be performing the ceremony. He watched as George sat his mother last, who looked like she hadn't stopped crying since Harry had proposed. He was extremely tense, awaiting the beautiful girl he longed to see, but at the same time, he wished he could flee. Ron looked at Harry's side profile, watching his friend eye the crowd nervously, but the music cued and he felt his stomach turn to knots.

She was simply breathtaking. Her dress wasn't her color exactly, but Hermione could have worn a paper bag and Ron would have thought she was gorgeous. Her eyes were downcast and she looked variably upset. He wanted nothing more to comfort her but also knew that he was tired of running back to her. He threw his shoulders into a better position and it coincidentally made Hermione look up and immediately meet his gaze.

He could read her like no other. She was obviously in pain; over exactly what he wasn't entirely sure. But she was hiding it well from everybody else, he could tell in the way her hands were holding too tightly to her small bouquet of white daises, and how she had her certain walk when something was bothering her. He knew her well enough to see past her mask, but it wasn't his job to correct her anymore. However, her pull was just as strong as it always was. The walk she had from the kitchen doorway to where he stood made the ceremony stop and it was only her and him. For a moment, he could almost pretend that it was their wedding and that she was walking to him, forever.

Hermione began to smile slightly and Ron's mind righted itself. He gave her a curt nod and then determinedly looked behind her, pretending not to see her sad look. She finished her journey and stood across from them as the crowd stood and Ginny made her grand appearance. Even though he was sure she was the most beautiful sister in this moment, all he could think about was what he was missing, and she wasn't standing more than a foot away.

-

Hermione sat beside her parents during the reception dinner, not really talking or eating. Her eyes were made to watch Ron, and she made sure she knew where he was the entire evening. He sat beside his parents and George near the head table, staring gloomily down at his own rather full plate. Although she was equally miserable, she felt a tad better that he was just as upset.

"It was a lovely ceremony, Hermione. You did wonderful in the planning," her mother commented. Hermione nodded and smiled shyly.

"Yes, everything worked out just fine," she said. Her mother grinned widely.

"And Ron looked as handsome as ever. He must be very busy keeping his family occupied, because he hasn't popped over to say hello," her father replied, taking a bite of his baked fish.

"Now now, he's practically a host tonight! I'm sure he'll say hello!" her mother explained.

"Yes," Hermione agreed, already thinking of a way to get them out of the Burrow as soon as they were done.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we would like to welcome Mr. and Mrs. Potter to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife," the DJ announced and everyone watched as the elegant newlyweds made their way to the dance floor. Hermione knew they had attended a few dance lessons in preparation; Harry's nerves had come back from fourth year. The song was slow and sweet with a waltz beat to it, as per Harry's only request.

"How beautiful," her mother murmured in her ear. Hermione couldn't reply, but felt a shiver run up her spine when she remembered what would happen next.

"Oh no," she whispered. She looked up and saw that Ron had been looking at her, and he too must have realized what was coming.

"The new couple would like their two best friends, Mr. Ron Weasley and Ms. Hermione Granger to the floor," the DJ announced and Hermione's jaw tightened. With a tense back, she watched as Ron stood stiffly and made his way to the floor. He watched her the entire way, daring her to not make a move. She nodded to herself, assuring that this had to happen for Ginny and Harry's sakes. She stood and met Ron.

For a moment, they stood staring at each other like they hadn't seen one another in years. She took in his face, which looked like it had gotten as much sleep as she had the night before, and the way his eyes expressed every feeling of sadness she had ever felt and more. He held out his left hand for her to take and she held a breath as their skin touched. It was electric the way it felt, and she watched him in wonder as he seemed to have felt it too. But, Ron was stronger in ways, and before she could say more, he already looked bored.

They began to dance stiffly and not as close as she liked, but she could still smell his tantalizing scent, the cologne that she had bought him for his last birthday. She breathed it in, bringing herself closer without noticing. His embrace was cold and hesitant, but she didn't care. She rested her head on his chest for she hadn't been able to reach his shoulders in years. She took another deep breath, wishing for the courage to say all the things she needed and wanted to say. Within moments, his arm around her waist relaxed, pulling her more into their usual dancing position. She tightened her fingers in his palm, feeling him breathe a kiss into her hair.

"You look beautiful," he murmured. She gasped as she felt his mouth hover over her ear and she dared a glance at him. He looked so honest and hurt that she wanted to hold on and never let go.

"Ron, please, let's talk about…" she started but he shook his head.

"No, not here," he said so sternly that she closed her mouth abruptly. She nodded instead in reply and he accepted it with a cursory glance around the dance floor, his family watching their heated eye war.

"Then when?" she murmured, staring at a place beyond his shoulder, afraid to meet his gaze.

"I'm not sure," he replied, making a show of twirling her around until she felt breathless. Usually when he did this at parties, he'd kiss her as he brought her back into his arms, and she raised herself up automatically and felt shunned when he turned his cheek. Hermione's chin trembled and she closed her eyes, hoping to not start a show. Ron looked down at her and leaned his down close for her to hear. "I just need time."

"Time?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"God, please don't cry," he cried, wiping a stray tear off her cheek.

"Then don't say you need time. I want to be with you Ron. Don't ever doubt that!" she exclaimed.

Ron looked down at his shoes. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"Yes you do! Tell me that you love me as much as I love you. Tell me that you only want to be with me until we're fighting over which breakfast cereal is more important for our grandchildren to eat! Tell me that you can't live without me!" she cried urgently, grasping onto his suit jacket.

"I can't say that right now," he began and Hermione's face started to crumble. "I do love you Hermione and I do want forever with you, but I need time to figure things out. Please respect that," he urged.

"I hate time! We're wasting time!" she said but he shook his head again. "Ron, please don't do this to me, to us," she pleaded as the song came to a close and they stopped moving but his arm was still around her. He let his finger run down her cheek, flushed. She closed her eyes to relish in the feeling.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. She gasped as she felt his lips brush her cheek once, then another time, and when she opened her eyes again, he was gone.