Challenge—Without You

Chapter Nine

But I know blue

"Remus!" Sirius cried helplessly, having Apparated into his lover's hospital room, only to witness him choke on his own blood. "Remus!"

Remus kept coughing, trying to get enough air to his lungs, so he could see whoever was calling him. The voice sounded panicked and familiar, but the darkness was closing around him, not oppressively, just like a deep sleep, and he slowly began to drift off into the sea of blackness.

His throat suddenly eased, and he felt the blood slide back down his throat. He gasped a breath in, choking and sobbing. The air was cold and harsh on his sore windpipe. His eyes slowly opened and he saw a dark figure looming over him. His eyes focussed a little more and he realized it was Sirius.

"Remus?" Sirius asked, his voice full of concern. "Hey babe, you okay?"

Remus tried to respond, but his throat was still tight and he couldn't form words. He nodded, instead. Sirius nodded back, still looking worried. Remus met his eyes and realized that Sirius had been crying.

"Why," he managed to croak, in a small raspy whimper. Sirius wiped his eyes self-consciously.

"You're sick. You shouldn't have to deal with this now." Sirius sighed, sitting in the chair next to Remus's bed. It was obvious that Remus was no better off than he was a few hours ago. The Medi-witches would probably come and whisk him off to another part of the Hospital any minute now.

"I know it's hard for you to talk, but I want you to listen very carefully to everything I'm about to say, okay?" Remus nodded slightly. "In a couple of days you are going to hear about something in the news, okay?" he silently prayed that Remus would live that long. "And it's gonna be about me. And it's gonna be bad—horrible, and terrible and something you know I would never do, okay?" Remus again nodded. "And when you see it, I want you to know that it's Pete, okay? It's not me," Sirius knew he was becoming hysterical. "I would never do that. It was Peter, okay?"

"Peter," Remus muttered. "Not you."

"Exactly," he bent down and kissed Remus on the lips. "Exactly, babe. It wasn't me. It wasn't at all. I have to go, though. I have to get Peter, so I won't be blamed. I'll come back, okay?" He smiled, and leaned down to kiss Remus's fevered forehead. "I'll come back babe. I'll come back." He Disapparated before Remus could respond

Sirius Black did not come back during Remus's stay at St. Mungo's Hospital For Magical Maladies and Injuries, and did not return to the hospital for fourteen years.

Only blue

With a POP, Sirius appeared in a dark alley. He looked around rapidly, his eyes having trouble adjusting from bright fluorescent lighting to the harsh darkness outside. He drew he wand, and whispered "lumos" and the tip lit up, giving him a few feet radius of light. He looked about wildly, praying that he had gotten to the right place, when suddenly something ran towards him the alley.

"Peter," he growled.

The rushing figure stopped dead in it's tracks. "Oh, Sirius." He replied, recognizing his friend's voice. "Please," he cried suddenly. "You have to help me! Their after me, Sirius! The Death Eaters are after me!"

He could see Sirius grin, a malicious grin he had ever only see on Regulus's face. He took a step backwards. "Then I'm not the only one. You might want to stop moving, Pete. It'll make it that much quicker to die."

Peter immediately started off back out of the alley, but Sirius had longer legs and ran faster, blocking his path and stalking him slowly backwards to the dead end of the alley.

"I know what you did, Peter. Lily and James are dead because of you. They're dead!" Sirius was crying, screaming and sobbing. "They were good people, and they're dead, while slime like you still walks the bloody streets! You're gonna die for what you did. Be it at my hands or the Death Eaters. I trusted you," Sirius spat. "I trusted you more than my own lover, not to give Lily and James over to the Death Eaters."

"Sirius, please, you must understand, he threatened me. He would have killed me!" Peter pleaded, sinking to his knees.

"Then you should have died, nobly, as James and Remus and I would have done for you, or anyone of us! You ran off. You left them die," Sirius kicked Peter hard, and Peter lay sobbing the alley.

"I'm sorry!"

"No," Sirius's blue eyes were full of tears. "No, you're not. You would do it again in a second; I can see it in your eyes. You would let Lily and James and little Harry and me and Remus all die in a second if it could save your sorry ass." Peter opened his mouth. "And don't you dare deny it." Peter's mouth shut promptly.

Peter looked around frantically. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and held it behind his back. He reached in the back pocket of his pants for a knife and put that in the same hand as his wand. He looked up fearfully at Sirius. "HELP! MURDERER! MURDERER!" Sirius was stunned for a moment, and Peter took this chance to race forward, turning when he hit the street.

People were rushing out of their houses towards Peter. He grinned a frantic, fearful grin and with and effort, severed his finger from his hand. He pointed his wand behind him, eyes watering from the pain in his hand.

"What are you doing?" Sirius demanded, but at that moment a huge bright light illuminated the street and Sirius covered his eyes. When he opened them, everyone on the street was silent and still. Peter looked at him and waved slightly before transforming into a rat and scurrying down the sewer.

"No. No, dammit, no!"

Lonely blue

Remus was wheeled along another hallway, and this one had less bumps. He could still hear his heart echoing his head. Every beat of his heart ached and every breath stung. He tried to drift off into the empty black sea he had discovered earlier, but he couldn't find it. It had left him, and he wanted it. He couldn't function. He couldn't breathe. And Sirius's words kept running around his head.

He took a deep breath for a sigh, but it burned his throat and lungs and he coughed again. The Medi-witch looked at him, but there was nothing she could do all by herself. She picked up the pace that she was moving the bed. Remus stopped coughing suddenly, gasping in breath.

He was suddenly lonely. He wished Sirius hadn't left him before and he wished Sirius would return. He was lonely, and sad. Blue, he mused, and black. Like a bruise. He was bruised and broken, waiting for Sirius, who seemed in no hurry to come back. What if he died and Sirius wasn't there?

The bed stopped suddenly, and Remus's breath caught in his throat. What if he died all by himself?

Within me blue

Sirius didn't want to run. He knew running would just be more suspicious. But there were bodied all around him and the muggle police were coming. He couldn't help it. He ran. He started off slowly, walking away from the scene, but then he heard the swoosh of broomsticks and he knew they were trailing him, so he started running, full speed.

Remus took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He stopped suddenly. The breath was stuck in his throat. He couldn't get the air! God, he needed air! He was sputtering, trying to grab the attention of someone, but no one was in the room with him. Oh god, oh god, oh god. He looked around desperately, his vision blurring.

Sirius was barely avoiding a dozen stunning charms. He was running faster than he ever had in his life, all his grief fueling his adrenaline. He was crying and his hair whipped behind him, as he ran into the wind. Suddenly, he felt himself trip and realized that ropes were coiling around his body. No!

He couldn't breathe. He really couldn't breathe. He was becoming less frantic, and his whole body felt heavy and numb. He saw that same sea of black, again, and knew that this time he should just give in to sleep, a deep, deep sleep. He felt his eyes slide shut, his body still screaming for oxygen.

Sirius was crying as they hauled his body up. He knew there would be no trial. That would be a waste of them. They would send him straight to Azkaban. He would never be let free, he would never get a trial. He would never see Remus again. He sobbed, suddenly. He hadn't done anything wrong! This was wrong. This was so wrong. He wanted to kill Peter. If he could do it again. If only he could close his eyes and when he opened them he'd get a second chance.

This time he wouldn't waste time talking. He'd kill him, straightaway. It would all be better. So much better. But when he opened his eyes, he was being Apparated to the land closest to the island where Azkaban was situated. He was tossed in a boat and they started rowing him off to his horrid fate.

Remus closed his eyes and saw nothing for a moment. And then he saw Sirius. He saw Sirius playing chess, and idly reading a book. He saw Sirius grooming in the morning and undressing at night. Everything he could ever remember about Sirius seemed to fill his mind. Then he felt as though someone was whispering in his ear, "it's all over."

Remus's breath did not come and his face turned a pale shade of blue. His eyes didn't open and his chest did not rise. He was proclaimed dead at 3:37 in the morning. At precisely 3:57 Remus Lupin's death certificate was ripped apart.

Remus shot up, aware of someone tapping him on the shoulder. He looked up to see the elderly man who worked the trains rousing him.

"Sir, this is the last stop. You need to get off."

Remus jumped up and ran of the train. He glanced at his watch. "Shit!" fashionably late didn't even begin to describe how late he was. He ran to the first alley he found, and Disapparated as fast as he could with the direction "Wherever Harry is now."

He stepped out of the alley to the corner where Draco and Harry were waiting, and gave them his sad excuse, not mentioning his nightmare, or that fact that he was continually having these horrid and entirely true nightmares.

With a smile, they stepped into the restaurant and Remus tried to forget the sight of Sirius bound and gagged, and sobbing his name.