warning: m-preg, kinda, but not entirely
Challenge—Without You
Chapter Thirteen
Remus left Harry and Draco to finish their lunch and wandered off. Once he had reached an secluded alley he Apparated off with the direction where the fuck Severus Snape is. He felt as if he were being sucked through a plastic straw and was spit out in Severus Snape's basement.
Snape jumped when he heard the soft crash and turned around to find a very disheveled Remus Lupin sitting on his floor. He looked at the man, who seemed in no hurry to stand. He looked around the basement, taking in the many bubbling cauldrons and tubes of coloured liquid.
Remus slowly stood and looked into Severus's black eyes. "Sorry to interrupt. I just was wondering if you had any Dreamless Sleep Potion, and some Sweet Dreams Potion. Harry thinks I'm not sleeping well enough. I think it might help. And, um . . . anything else you have that might help. If it's not too much trouble."
"No trouble, really, but you do realize that both potions are available at stores in Diagon Alley. But maybe you're more comfortable knowing where they came from?" Remus nodded curtly. "As for anything else, I have a Mind Focussing Potion and my unpleasant company, if you'd like it."
"I actually would enjoy your company, and it's not at all unpleasant. It's nice." Remus sighed. "Can I ask you an probably uncomfortable question?"
"Feel free," he said, pouring one vial into another one.
"Do you have any idea why Sirius started hating you? I know he was friendly with you in Hogwarts. But then he started hated you."
"It had to do with Lily and James and Regulus."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry. I don't think you knew about that. I'm . . . sorry." Snape grabbed three large vials of liquid off his shelf. He put them down on a table. "I'm going to give you the standard warnings, all right? Um, taking any one of these, let alone all, may cause you to become irritable, or a little spontaneous. You could get angry, or tired, or lose your appetite. The last three are the most common and normally I'd suggest that you take none of these, but considering the circumstance," he trailed off.
Severus looked and Remus and Remus stared back at Severus. Severus stepped forward and Remus did, too. Their lips met in a harsh kiss, painful and fast and bruising. Remus could taste blood in his mouth, and knew his lips were turning puffy with bruises. He bit down on Severus's lip, and Severus groaned, pushing his lips farther against Remus's.
Remus was crying, but he kept kissing back. Remus shoved him backwards on a table, half bending his over the table, kissing back, pushing all his pain and grief into his harsh kiss. Severus pushed back and Remus found himself pinned to a cold, concrete wall, being brutally kissed. Remus's hand reached down to his pants and undid the clasp, watching his boxers and pants fall to the floor.
Severus turned him around in a single, swift movement. His own pants were discarded mere moments later. Remus was shoved against the wall, his fingers digging into crevasses in the wall. For a long moment he stood there, his finer grabbing at thin air for something to grip. Remus squeezed his eyes shut tightly, and he felt Severus shove into him roughly.
It wasn't sex the way he had had sex with Sirius. This was raw and brutal. His though his ass might have been bleeding, but Severus moved fast, out of ass, slamming back in roughly. Remus was crying, his hand still stuck in the wall and his other hand slowly reaching down and grasping at his erection, pulling at it fast, in a pace matching Severus's. He knew when Severus came inside him, because immediately he fell to his knees. He knew his ass was bleeding, but he kept pulling at his erection until he came on his palm. He stared at his palm for a moment. It was covered in white liquid, and it felt sticky and wrong on his fingers. It shouldn't be there. He looked at his hand for a long moment before slowly lifted his palm to him mouth.
He stuck his tongue out of his mouth slowly, and began to lick his own seed off of his hand. It took him a long moment, sucking up all of the sticky liquid. When the last of it was gone from his hand, he looked for Severus, but he had left while Remus was cleaning his hand. Remus let out a weak sob before grabbing his potions and Disapparating.
The tears dry
Remus had been taking the potions and he knew the side effects were occurring, but he ignored them. He was now sitting beside Tonks and Harry in Hogwarts's infirmary, watching Bill with half interest.
"You see," Tonks said, glaring at Remus. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"
"It's different," Remus said, barely moving his lips, his body suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely—"
"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, grabbing onto Remus's robes, and clinging there. "I've told you a million times . . . "
"And I've told you a million times," said Remus, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor. "That I am tool old for you, too poor . . . too dangerous . . . " Tonks and Mrs. Weasley both opened their mouths to say something, but Remus beat them to it. "This is . . . not the moment to discuss is," he said, avoiding everyone's eyes, looking about distractedly. "Dumbledore is dead . . . "
Harry heard McGonagall retort with something about love and Dumbledore, but Harry didn't listen to her, too caught up in the words that Remus didn't say. He when he said "Dumbledore is dead," Harry knew he meant "Sirius is gone."
Tonks grabbed Remus's arm and pulled him into the hall. "Listen, Remus, what more do you want from me? I love you, and I know you love me."
"That's just it, Tonks. I don't! I love Sirius," he cried, not able to meet her eyes. He heard her groan in pain and looked up, meeting a pair on hauntingly familiar blue eyes, long dark hair and a small pointed noise. "Stop it, Tonks."
"Don't you want me to be like Sirius? Isn't this what you want?"
"No! I just want to be left alone!" Remus took off, running down the hall, out the door and past the gates of Hogwarts.
Without you
Remus took a long swig of the Sweet Dreams Potion. He eyed it carefully. He swallowed more of it and fell back on his bed. He closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep. He imagined Sirius. He imagined life as a happy thing, and slowly fell asleep.
"Remus! Wake up! Remus!" Remus bolted up, banging his head against the headboard.
"Ow . . . I'm up, I'm up." He sighed, throwing his feet off the bed and started to slip out of bed.
Sirius was waltzed in. "Remus, it's Sylvia's seventh birthday today. Get of your arse before she thinks that you're ignoring her. You know how seven-year-olds are. Go on, I'll take care of Tyler for a minute." Remus just started at Sirius and the little girl that followed him in.
"Hullo, Sylvia," he cried, running towards her and lifting her in the air.
"Daddy!" she cried. Clinging to his neck. He smiled at her. She had long black hair and bright amber eyes. She was tall for her age, but barely came up to his waist. She stayed at his neck, and he supported her legs. She reached and played with his earring. He turned to Sirius.
"How's Tyler doing?" Remus asked, walking over to the cradle that held their son. "He was coughing a lot last night."
"He's doing better," Sirius smiled at him, pressing a gentle kiss to Remus's forehead. "Do you need more sleep? I know you were up all night with him."
"I'll be fine," he turned towards his daughter on his neck. "Hey, darling, how about I let you down and you go find your presents, and come back when you find them, okay?" She nodded and he let her down. She scampered off in a moment.
Sirius smiled halfheartedly. "You've been acting distant these past months. Sylvia's getting worried, too, and you know unobservant she is. She has a right to be, she's still little, but you have been scaring her. Hell, Moony, you've been scaring me!" Sirius looked at him, his big blue eyes pleading.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been out of it lately. I know it's gonna be all right, though." He looked around. He looked at his two beautiful children and his wonderful lover. He was all smiled. "Everything is going to be fine." He leaned forward and captured Sirius lips with his own. They shared a sweet kiss before they heard someone clear their throat.
They both turned suddenly, looking at little Sylvia tapping her foot impatiently. "Presents," she shouted. "I found them! Now it's time to open them! Move!" Remus and Sirius looked at each other, laughing. Remus grabbed Tyler and followed his oldest daughter and Sirius out the door.
They watched with glee as Sylvia broke through layers of paper to reveal her birthday presents. She shrieked with joy and Remus put Tyler down, and watched as he shoved a large plastic toy, head first into his mouth. Sirius chuckled and placed his arms around Remus's waist, his hand rubbed little circles on Remus's stomach.
"And there's little Michael." Remus looked down at his stomach, and realized quite suddenly that little Michael was growing inside him. He looked up, teary eyed and kissed Sirius gently on the lips.
"I love you, Pads."
Remus woke with a start, tears pouring down his face. He looked at his stomach. It was flat and muscular as it had always been. He took in his surroundings. He was in his bedroom, in their house. He was alone and he had been dreaming. He cried out in pain and shock, reaching for the nightstand, and chugging the Dreamless Potion, praying that he would wake to find out this had all been a dream.