AN: So I'm overwhelmed with the response my story is getting! Thankyou all so much! I am truly grateful for all your encouraging and wonderful words.
So I am going through serious writers block right now and somehow found a way to work through it, it's like they both keeping telling me their sides of the story at the same time and when I listen into one ore the other they shut up! Ugh characters. Haha Anyway I have realized I'm failing at my own goal - to respond to everyones reviews. I remember one specificly: Don't respond to my review just write more! So I think that's what I'll end up doing from now on.

Oh and school starts up for me tomorrow but I'll try my best to keep updating. If not, til April then.
And without more waiting here is chapter three!
xoxoDij

I had become a vampire.

The one thing I had wanted more than anything at a certain point in my life but no not now. Not anymore.

He didn't love me. He left me. He said that I wasn't good enough for him. He didn't want me but yet here I am one of them now.

I tried to think of how this happened. My death. My death. Why was it that everything wasn't clear? I began to replay it over until I hit the specific part and let is slow.

My eyes began to close against my will. The light was growing brighter, almost blinding. I felt a pressure by my ear and all I could make out of the soft muddled words was sorry.

And that's when the burning began after the muddled sorry. An overflow of questions began to pour into me like a faucet turned on high with no intention of stopping.

Whose voice was that? Could it have been his? It couldn't have been his. Was he the one who turned me? Why? He never wanted me around forever; that was partly why he didn't want to turn me. That and my soul, though now that doesn't exist either. I was only a small nuisance in his life that he got rid of or so he thought.

But what if he was the one who indeed changed me, he left me for dead! How could they have done that! I certainly can see him but them? All of them? How could they have done that to me? How could they have not known? Especially Alice, why didn't she see or even Carlisle? How could he have not heard my heart exploding out of my chest with each painful thud as the venom consumed my body?

A new shot of pain tore through me, stinging. It had finally sunk in and embedded into me, they didn't want me. None of them wanted me. They had no will in trying to save me, they were happier knowing I was dead.

I choked back a sob that was threatening. I was now more alone in the world than I had ever been. I could never see Charlie again; my bloodlust would end up killing him and Jacob. I could not even pass on to join him in whatever was out there in the after life.

The rain began to pick up and the wind blistering. It didn't feel cold. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I was cold dead and numb. I continued to stare at my angel statue. We now had so much in common. I looked like I was made out of stone and I was forever silenced inside, just like her. But at least she was beautiful because I was not. I would never be. Just another reason to validate his dislike for me.

I wanted more than anything to curl into a ball like I used to – to hold myself together. But I was paralyzed in my spot from the most horrible stench I had ever smelt. My instincts told me to be prepared to run or attack but I was trying my best to keep them at bay. I just wanted to be alone or find a way to be removed from this existence.

Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die – or whatever it is we do.

His voice rang clear and perfect just like how I had remembered, though the strings of my now dead heart were being pulled. My brain somehow unlocked this memory and I could not have been more grateful for the fact of having this information. His voice stung as I repeat the memory over in my mind, I knew I had to find this Volturi that he had once talked about. I was set. I found my mission and my reason in this existence: to find a way to end it.

My instincts had finally taken over as I crouched and whipped around to come face to face with whatever was producing that awful smell. I immediately stopped and straightened out, stunned at the sight before me.

"J…Jacob?"

I scanned the area quickly to see who else was among us. They had beaten me to punch, however they had sounded as nervous, stunned and as scared as I had. It only took another second for me to process that it had been my voice. It was almost like a chime or a very beautiful bell. I wanted to speak again but thought it would be best not to.

"Bella?"

It was like his face was mirrored of mine, fear amazement and completely stunned.

"Y...y...you're one of them."

All I could do is hang my head in shame. I was now a mortal enemy of his pack. My safe haven was now a place I could never set foot in again. The happiness and friendship I found in La Push was definitely now a thing only committed to my human life. My heart sank.

How was it that he was here with me in such a solid form that I could touch him. Maybe everything I had really read or seen about ghosts was a lie.

"J…Jacob. But you're dead."

I was surprised when he let out a howl fit of laughter. I took a step back as a precaution. Through his laughing fit he managed to speak.

"Bells, I am very much alive. I can't say the same for you though."

His tone became more serious as he gestured his hand up and down at me. It was the truth; I was almost as dead as could be. I began to open my mouth but closed it before I had voiced my question. Victoria had said she killed him. Caught up in the moment it never occurred to me that she could have just told me that to break down my defensives more. And it was exactly what she had done.

I fell to my knees and started to sob but my wanting for tears never came. Jacob hung back reluctant, probably scared at what I might do. Being around a newborn vampire had its dangers and he knew that but I would never hurt him.

"Bella?"

"Oh Jacob! I'm just so… so relieved you're not dead! Victoria told me she killed you but I had never thought that she was just saying it! I'm…I'm..."

"Bells."

The concern and worry in his voice was enough to stop me from my fit. I looked up at him as his face took a tortured expression.

The wind had changed direction and the most beautiful sent hit me. It was like honey lilac and sun all bottled up into one glorious smell. With each second it seemed to get stronger, more potent.

"Do you smell that?"

"No. What is it?"

"I don't even know how to begin to describe it Jacob it's so…so..."

"Sweet."

"Almost, I think."

"Bella…"

My eyes shot to the direction of where the smell was becoming stronger and stronger. I could see so clear for almost miles and make out everything in excruciating detail. And there, a figure so stunning it hurt to look at his beauty. It only made my cold dead heart shatter more.

Jacob sensed my stunned tension and froze. He could smell him too.

"Bella, he's coming isn't he. It's his scent I'm faintly picking up isn't it."

"Jacob… I...I have to go."

"Bella wait!"

His voice carried in the wind as I set off running in the opposite direction hoping to leave behind everything from my past.

I'm so sorry Jacob.