A/N: Hey guys! So here is chapter 5! I'm really not sure how I feel about this chapter, so if you all could tell me how I'm doing that would be awsome! Thanks to everyone who is sticking with me even though yes it has been awhile. Though is anyone still out there? I don't even know!

Well enjoy!
xoxo Dij

An array of emotion formed across his face but in the end settled upon sadness. His eyes bore into mine trying to communicate something I couldn't distinct.

"If that is what you wish."

I stared down at him perplexed. He was giving up this easily, no fight just a simple surrender. I sat on top of him frozen as his eyes kept an unearthly hold onto me. His demeanor never changed; he was holding his ground just as was I. As we played this game something was beginning to fall into place for me. My stomach began to turn uneasily as I was fixed upon his eyes and saw the emotion I couldn't clarify before. It was an array of love seeping from them.

"Bella."

It was such a soft careful tone and it was my undoing. I launched myself off of him onto the other side of the meadow. I could not handle what I just had seen in his beautiful golden eyes.

Hs eyes communicated love but I knew that wasn't possible. He left me after all. He let me endure that living hell with Victoria. They left me for dead.

The wounds on my heart began to split open ten fold. I had to remind myself that he didn't love me, that he didn't want me. I kept chanting it in my head until I was sobbing uncontrollably. I again cursed myself for the lack of tears I was unable to conjure.

As I held myself in my all too familiar position I could sense others arriving. They held no interest to me as long as I could be left alone. It wasn't long before they lurched into conversation.

"How did she?"

"But I saw it. Edward was…"

I attempted to stifle a cry but it ended up being louder than I thought. I didn't want to hear his name. I could not handle it, did they not see I was already broken; it was like added salt to my wound.

"Bella…honey."

I felt an unfamiliar pair of arms wrap around me. They were small yet comforting, something I had been missing since I found myself thrown into this new life.

"Bella. It's okay. I'm here. I won't leave. Promise."

I began to sob harder as Alice's words floated in the air. She was almost as guilty as he was, she left me for dead. I tried as much as I will but could not find myself to be angry with her. Though I needed answers.

I chocked back a sob, "Don't."

My statement seemed to throw her off because she didn't respond right away.

"Bella, please I'm so incredibly sorry. It's my fault I didn't see, I didn't know, I'm so sorry."

She began to weep as she finished her sentence and I could do all but join her. She held onto me tighter chanting sorry over and over.

We seemed to stay like for what seemed hours, both of us finally regained some composure. It was odd to see my once bubbly bouncy pixie like best friend so somber and serious. I could only think for that it was completely my fault. She took her hand in mine but showed no will to stand. I was not about to take the initiative either so we sat at the edge of the meadow in silence.

Caught up in the moment I hadn't realized we were not alone. It seemed everyone was frozen where they stood. Emmett was not far from the arch that led entrance to the meadow and he was still were I had left him though standing looking at the two of us with deep intensity.

It still hurt to look at his perfection and knowing that he left me. That he didn't want me and ultimately he didn't love me.

His voice cut through the silence and tore me anew.

"Bella please don't say that."

I could only look at him completely bewildered. I looked to Alice who's face I was pretty positive had mirrored my own. I was grateful when she acted as a speaker for the both of us.

"Ed- um she didn't say anything."

I was grateful she didn't use his name or at least tried not too, I knew that she had caught on that even his name brought me so much pain. I stole a quick glance at him and his face was just as baffled.

"Bella."

His voice came more of a gasp but caught in his throat as I flinched at my own name. Alice began to rub small circles on my back, I was never more grateful to have my best friend, my sister back into my life. I closed my eyes hoping to gain enough composure to speak.

"Answers. I need some answers."

Alice was beginning to regain some of her pervious chipper self. I could sense it and wished it could rub off onto me.

"Sure Bella! We'll just go back to the house and…"

Fear struck me instantly, I couldn't go back there, I couldn't not again. It would hurt to much.

"Don't worry Bells. Everyone really wants to see you, they've missed you so much. I've missed you."

I couldn't help the small smile that tugged on my face. My personally teddy bear, Emmett, I missed him so much. Before Alice could realize what happened I was out of her grip and into Emmett's arms. I hugged him with as much force as I could muster.

"There's my little squirt. Though…Ow a little stronger I might add."

I let out a small giggle. I was actually strong enough to hurt Emmett, something I thought was never possible.

"There's that smile that's been missing." He lightly touched the end of my nose and continued, "Oh and don't think that that means your stronger than me, just a little of your newborn strength that's all."

He sported the widest smile I had seen in such a long time. I truly missed my big brother.

Alice unfortunately interjected our moment and brought me crashing back to reality.

"You should really come back with us. Talk to Carlisle. We can answer anything you wish to know, just please come back to the house with us."

At that moment a breeze flew past us and I saw him running towards I could only assume the house. Emmett let out a huff.

"Don't worry Bells, everything will be fine."

He tussled my hair, as if it had needed any more messing with and set off after his brother. My heart sank a little when Emmett was fully out of view, after all he was the only one to put a smile on my face. Alice turned to me but I interjected before she could speak.

"I don't want to run."

I wanted to prolong this as long as possible. I didn't want to face what was at the end of the trail, the house filled with people who took me for dead, left me and didn't want me. Above all things I didn't want to be lead to him.

"Okay Bella. We'll just walk. We'll get there when we get there."

She grabbed my hand and the two of us set off at a human pace for the family I used to dream about joining.