AN: Hey everyone! I know it's been a long time. Sorry, just writers block and things have come up. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I do! Please review! Til next time xoxoDij
I had been left alone again in a room that I shouldn't occupy. A new weight had found me, pinning me down. I had quietly sobbed for what felt like hours and I mental cursed at my inability to form any tears, though the sting in my eye never ceased. Alice had struck a nerve, though I know she meant no harm by asking it; it still unsettled me. I finally settled into the black leather couch and rested my arms around my legs and buried my face into my knees. I was getting in deeper than I wanted, I didn't want any of this, and I wanted to be alone. I had no one anymore.
Though it was like I was torn in half, part of me wanted to believe all of Edward's words with the most sincerity, yet it was the other half kept me lingering, keeping myself focused on the task at hand. His words that faithful day in the forest, I just couldn't let go. Some part of me believed that he truly didn't love me, not when I was human and certainly not now.
My thoughts were my worst enemy at this point. They were suffocating me, tearing at me. I needed a release something to make me feel free. I contemplated jumping out the window but just as I looked up there was a knock at the door.
Alice let herself in. She stood with a small smile and spoke up quickly.
"I know you need to get out of this house. I can't believe you haven't hunted either! A newborn shouldn't be able to go this long! I feel just horrible we've neglected your needs-" I tried opening my mouth to stop her but she continued anyway. "I guess what I'm asking is, do you want to go hunting with us Bella?"
I was drained, I didn't even know if I had the energy to go hunting but I would put in an effort.
"I guess that would be smart wouldn't it."
I tried to sound cheerful but I'm sure it was not conveyed that way. I stood up and followed Alice out of his room.
I followed her wordlessly to the stairs and if my heart could beat it would have been flying out of my chest. The whole family was convened at the bottom looking up at us. Naturally Alice danced down the stairs and straight into Jasper's arms. I still stood at the top feeling awkward and out of place in the moment.
"Bella, it's alright. Please come down."
I gazed into Esme's smiling eyes and before I realized I was at the bottom of the staircase. I still needed to adjust to my vampire speed. I wondered if everyone had as much trouble as I did in adjusting to this life.
Alice quickly chimed in, "Jasper, Edward and Carlisle are staying behind."
I accidently breathed a sigh of relief, though everyone but Edward was staring at me. I was certainly grateful I could no longer blush, I'm sure I would have been purple from the embarrassment.
"Alright let's go!"
Emmett couldn't contain his impatience anymore. Alice reached for my hand and I took it reluctantly. Before I could refocus the rest of our party was gone dashing towards the river.
"It's okay Bella. Come on."
The lights that flooded onto the lawn quickly disappeared as Alice and I ran towards the river. Before I could register what was happening I found myself leaping the width of the river with no effort.
"Wow." I gasped as Alice stifled a giggle.
Our running slowed as I assumed we reached our destination. Alice let go of my hand and I took a few steps forward. I turned back to Alice hoping she would offer some sort of guidance.
She smiled. "I can see right now you're not going to do anything bad. Just let yourself go, give yourself over to your instincts."
I nodded and couldn't help but smile back. I closed my eyes and let myself relax. Sounds and smells began to become even more heightened then they already were. Then I smelled something that I hadn't before, my mouth began to salivate. I let my legs carry my body to my left for what seemed to be only a short moment. I opened my eyes and found a heard of deer scattered. I quickly and silently stalked my prey. I pounced on the closest one, snapping its neck. I greedily drank the deer's blood and noticed it soothed the itch in my throat.
By this time the heard had disbanded and ran off in different directions. But I wasn't done yet. I took off to my left again, not knowing which direction it really was. I found two deer walking slowly as I approached I stepped on a twig triggering both animals to run off in different directions.
I decided to go after the larger one. I followed it for a bit before I realized that this part of the forest looked vaguely familiar. The deer had reached the opening and dashed out into a yard. I was so close. I was near people. My feet decided to keep moving as a pain developed in my chest that I couldn't understand.
It wasn't until I stopped and actually looked where I had ended up did I begin to panic. I could see my house, well not my house anymore, Charlie's house, not far away. I looked down to the ground as the familiar sting began to find my eyes.
It was then I was confronted with a memory.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."
"You…don't…want...me?"
"No."
My legs had given out and I collapsed to the forest floor as I forced myself to hold back the sobs that were desperately choking me. I could see it all; the look in his eyes showed the determination and honesty that he truly didn't want me.
"Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human"
I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself as I buried my head into my knees. I wanted more than anything to alleviate the pain that was consuming me but I would never be given that opportunity. I began shaking as I let myself dry sob.
Rain began to fall from the sky as I heard it bounce on the canopy high above me. Eventually it would find its way down in the darkness to me. I pulled my head up and looked toward the sky. I closed my eyes as I felt the rain begin to break through and fall against my face. It was like the rain was the tears I could not produce as the drops ran down my cheeks. It felt like hours passed as I sat there tormented by my thoughts. I could see the changes in light through the opening getting darker then lighter then darker again.
I hung my head as I heard the approach of someone, though they were far in the distance. I didn't care to move, I didn't want to move. I could live the rest of my existence in this spot.
"Bella?"
I looked up to see a blonde figure in the distance looking for me. What was Rosalie doing here looking for me?
"Rosalie?"
It took a moment before the sound carried and her eyes locked with mine. She then quickly ran towards me with a look of relief on her face.
"Oh, Bella!"
Her voice was genuine as she threw herself over me in a hug. I sat still, puzzled. Where had the Rosalie I had known gone? She couldn't stand me and found every opportunity to show it. Suddenly I felt a vibration and Rosalie jumped up and pulled a tiny silver phone from her pocket.
"Don't worry, I found her! She's fine. I'll bring her back to the house."
She paused looking at me with a small smile.
"Yes…Of course... See you soon."
With that she put her phone back into her pocket and looked at me with warm eyes, almost like Esme always had.
"Bella, you gave us all quite the scare. We didn't know where you ran off to."
She sat down on the forest floor next to me and let out a big sigh. I snuck a look at her from the curtain of hair that I had produced between us. She was looking straight with a distant look in her eye that I had become all to accustom to.
We sat in what I felt was an uncomfortable silence until her musical voice intervened.
"Bella." She paused to look at me as I diverted my eyes to the ground again. "I'm glad I was the one to find you."
She sounded sincere and I felt guilty that everyone had become worried at my disappearing act.
"I'm really sorry. I …I didn't mean to worry any of you."
My voice was small but I knew she could hear every word that I had said. I could almost hear the smile in her response.
"We're all just glad we found you safe." She paused almost hesitant. "Bella. I was wondering…" She seemed to be struggling with her words. "…if I could talk to you."
My eyes went wide but I quickly recovered as I looked up into her face. Her topaz eyes were almost pleading and I couldn't deny her. It did seem she truly wanted to talk to me.
"Of course, Rosalie."