Starr breathed a sigh of relief as she shuffled into her last class of the day; finally, it was almost over. The rest of the student body had been gossiping nonstop today, blatantly gaping at her, not even trying to hide their whispers and stares, and since most of the students hadn't heard about Zach, rumors about exactly what had happened to give the three of them these injuries were spreading like crazy. Her favorite that she'd heard today was that Schuyler and Cole had gotten into a fist fight over her, and one of them had hit her when she'd tried to separate them- how did they come up with these things?

Starr took her seat and gazed at Schuler, smiling in relief to finally be near him again, but he was careful not to so much as glance at her, keeping his eyes on his desk, and Starr tried not to sigh in frustration.

The rest of the class started to walk in, and to Starr's disbelief, several of them actually walked right past her desk and blatantly stared at her, before doing the same to Schuyler, buzzing loudly to each other about what could have happened. Starr swallowed roughly, her discomfort obvious, and struggled not to let this affect her.

"Hey, in your seats," Schuyler ordered calmly but firmly. "This is a classroom, you're here to learn, not gossip.

"You heard him people! Move it along, show's over!"

Starr broke into a smile at the sound of Langston's voice, as she and Markko came striding in; Langston had been hovering over her like a mother bear all day, scaring off anyone who dared to stare at Starr or tried to pry. Everyone else quickly took their seats, and Starr turned back to shoot her friend a look of gratitude.

"Thank you, Langston."

"What are best friends for?" she asked with a shrug, quickly shooting a dangerous look to the two girls whispering to each other and snickering as they looked back and forth from Starr to Schuyler.

Starr made it through what was quite possibly the most uncomfortable class of her life, and her shoulders sagged with relief as the bell rang. The rest of the students hurried out of their seats and rushed for the door, eager as always to get home, but Starr remained seated for a moment, not wanting to get caught up in the rush; too many people crowding around her at once would probably make her freak out again.

"I'll meet you out front, Lang," she promised, smiling reassuringly.

Langston nodded and left, and Starr and Schuyler were left alone in the classroom now. She put her things away at a painfully slow pace, watching him carefully, and finally, Schuyler looked up and directly at her. Starr smiled hopefully, and Schuyler returned it, gazing at her warmly with obvious concern in her eyes. Starr breathed easily, her heart growing peaceful- that was all she'd needed. With a small nod to Schuyler, Starr stood and walked out of the classroom.

"Hey, Starr-"

"Oh my God!" Starr shrieked at the sudden, unexpected voice, before seeing it was Cole and calming down, placing her hands over her heart as she laughed. "Oh, sorry; wow, holy crap, you scared me."

"I'm sorry," he said softly, looking guilty.

"No, no, it's fine, my fault," she said quickly, shooting him a quick smile. "So, how have you been today? Is your head feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine- you?"

"I've certainly had better days, but it could be worse."

"Good, good," he said awkwardly, reaching into his jacket. "So, uh, I just stopped you because I wanted to give this back to you- I found it on the floor at your dad's last night."

Starr's heart skipped a beat as Cole pulled his hand back, revealing her locket dangling from it; she gasped loudly, her hands flying to her mouth.

"Oh my God," she said in relief, gingerly taking it from him and holding it tightly. "Thank you so much, Cole, I was so upset when I thought it was gone. Can you help me put it on?"

He nodded and took it back, standing behind her and gently moving her hair aside as he wound the chain around her neck and locked the clasp into place. He breathed heavily for a moment, being so close to her having an intoxicating effect on him, but Starr didn't even seem to notice, just turning to face him with a friendly smile.

"Thanks again, Cole."

"After all the crap I've pulled, finding your locket is the least I could do," he mumbled uncomfortably.

Starr smiled, surprised to hear him say that, and impulsively leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Cole in a hug. He held her waist tightly, burying his head against her hair, and Starr just awkwardly patted him on the back, not having realized he would react so…dramatically.

Feeling a familiar tingling in her spine, Starr glanced up over Cole's shoulder, and sure enough, could see Schuyler staring at them as they embraced, his brow furrowed and jaw clenched tightly, eyes burning with an unfamiliar jealousy and insecurity. Starr felt something inside of her go cold, and she quickly pushed Cole away.

"So, uh, thanks again; take care of yourself, Cole, I'll see you later."

Before he could say another word, Starr quickly turned and walked away, already trying to formulate a plan for Langston to help her with; she knew both of her parents wanted her with one of them at all times right now, but she needed time alone with Schuyler now more than ever.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After she, Markko and Langston had managed to convince Todd, Blair and Dorian that they were all going to the movies and then dinner, Starr had hurried to Schuyler's, only to be disappointed when she discovered he wasn't there.

With a resigned sigh, Starr flopped down on the couch, hugging one of the throw pillows as she absent mindedly flipped through the channels on TV, hoping he'd be along soon; she didn't want to be alone right now.

Nearly two hours passed, and Starr was beginning to get worried, when much to her relief, she heard a key in the lock, and quickly flipped off the television and scrambled to her feet so that the second Schuyler walked through the door, Starr flung her arms around him in a tight hug, clinging to him.

"Woah," Schuyler chuckled softly in surprise, putting his arms around her and lightly stroking her hair as he pushed the door closed with his foot. "Wasn't expecting this; what are you doing here, Starr?"

"I don't know, I just…needed to see you," she said, surprised when her voice came out shaky. "I'm sorry."

"Starr, you know you can always come to me, but…aren't your parents expecting you? And don't you have a lot of work to get done?" he asked, his voice strange. Starr nervously licked her lips.

"It's fine, I took care of everything. Where have you been?" she asked quietly. "I've been here for a while."

"I went to visit my mom for a few minutes, and then, uh…" Schuyler's eyes suddenly darkened, and he looked away in shame. Starr frowned.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Schuyler, what?" she pressed, cupping his cheek and turning him back to her. He sighed, his body tense.

"I was with my sponsor," he spat out, sounding disgusted with himself. He tried to pull away from her, but Starr refused, appearing lost.

"Okay," she said softly. "That's fine, there's nothing wrong with that- if you had an…urge, then the only thing that matters is that you went to him. Are you okay, is everything alright?"

"Oh, God," he choked out, tearing himself away from her and stalking across the room. Starr gazed at him in complete and utter confusion. "You shouldn't have to be dealing with this mess, Starr, with my issues; you shouldn't have to be asking me that right now."

"Schuyler, what…what are you talking about?" she asked in frustration, running her fingers through her hair. Schuyler slowly paced to the other side of the couch, keeping his back to her, while Starr remained by the door, her heart beginning to pound uncomfortably.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," Schuyler said brokenly, his voice so quiet she barely heard him.

Starr suddenly stopped breathing for a moment, panic surging throughout her, but quickly ordered herself to calm down, swallowing roughly.

"Do, um, what?" she asked with a nervous laugh, playing dumb. He couldn't possibly mean what she'd just been thinking, there was no way, so there was no reason to worry, right?

"This, us, I don't think I can be in this relationship anymore," he said heatedly, digging his nails into his palms as he turned to face her.

Starr inhaled sharply as tears pierced her eyes, feeling like she'd just been gutted.

"What?" she choked out. "Schuyler, where is that even coming from? I know the past couple of days have sucked beyond all belief, but just let that go, we'll get past it together!"

"Starr, you were assaulted last night because of me!" Schuyler exploded, his voice overwhelmed with emotion. "How could I ever just let that go?!"

"What?! Not because of you!" Starr cried, frantically wiping at her eyes. "Because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time!"

"But why were you there in the first place, Starr?" he asked darkly.

"Uh, because my brother is a little sociopath?!" she shouted back sarcastically.

"Because you were trying to protect me from your father," he continued as if he hadn't heard that. "But you know what? You shouldn't have even bothered, because he had every right to want to kill me, to say the things he did and do what he did- what you and I have been doing is wrong, and we have just been kidding ourselves!"

"Oh my God," Starr moaned, almost doubling over at the rush of intense pain she felt to hear him call what they had 'wrong'. "Why would you ever say that?! We love each other, Schuyler, what we have is good, and real, it's not wrong! You only feel that way because my dad-"

"Your dad was right, Starr!" he shouted. "I am a messed up drug addict, I am your teacher- I am no good for you!"

"No!" she replied through the tears rapidly spilling over onto her cheeks. "You are a former drug addict, I don't care if you're my teacher, and you are the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

"Starr, if I am the best thing that's ever happened to you, than your life has been even sadder than I thought," Schuyler laughed darkly, shaking his head.

"Why are you doing this?" Starr asked weakly, struggling to breathe. Schuyler took a deep breath, bracing himself, and looked at her with tender, caring eyes, desperately trying to make her understand this was for her own good.

"Starr, you deserve better, why can't you see that? I can't be the best thing in your life, because I am destroying it. You deserve to be with someone that doesn't have to keep you a secret, that can take you to your own prom; you shouldn't have to sneak around, have no time with your friends because you're hiding with me!"

"But I want to do those things, it's not like you asked me to!" Starr instantly screamed back at him in frustration.

"No, but you know what? Maybe you only want it because I took advantage of you," Schuyler breathed, bowing his head.

"What?" Starr whispered, horrified.

"You were grieving when we met, Starr, and we were thrown together because of your baby and my mom, and you had nobody to turn but me. And when we actually got together? You were upset over Cole. Maybe I did take advantage of-"

"Oh, God, I knew all of those horrible things my dad and Cole said to you got to you," she said furiously, shaking her head, before trying to appeal to him. "Schuyler, don't listen to that, don't believe it! We've been together and happy so long, you know it's real, it's not something born out of grief or whatever- you know it."

"Even if that's true, everything else still applies!" he fired back. "You deserve someone that doesn't grade your papers; Starr, last night, after going through a traumatic situation, you had to stay up to do my homework assignment, think about how messed up that is. You deserve someone that doesn't have to attend narcotics anonymous meetings and constantly visit his sponsor to keep from falling off the wagon- you shouldn't have to worry about how your boyfriend is handling his drug problem, for God's sake, you have more than enough to deal with as is! You deserve someone whose mother's death you don't blame yourself for, someone that can actually comfort you in public when you're upset! Someone who, if you're going to be attacked because of them, can at least accompany you to the fucking hospital afterwards!" he exploded, though his anger was clearly not directed at her, but himself. "Someone that you don't have to sneak around with when you want to see them, someone who doesn't have to ignore you when you need them the most. Someone better," he repeated, his voice trembling.

"But I don't care about any of that!" she shouted desperately, full out bawling now as she could already see where this was going, and it terrified her. She hurried over to his side, as if she thought touching him could somehow make this all go away, but he quickly backed away from her.

"I do, and you will," he sighed, shaking his head. "Someday, you're going to see that I took advantage of you, and held you back, and put you through so much that you didn't need to deal with, and you're going to resent me- hate me for it."

"Is that what this is about?! You're afraid of that happening? Because it won't, Schuyler, I swear!" Starr sobbed, breaking down to the point of begging as she clutched the couch just to keep from collapsing under this crushing wave of pain.

"This is about doing what's best for you, Starr," he said roughly.

"Schuyler, what did you say to me when my dad left?!" she demanded, trying to turn her heartbreak into fury; if the former didn't get through to him, maybe the latter would. "Do you remember? You said I was it for you, that nothing else mattered!"

"I didn't know what the 'else' was going to be then, I shouldn't have said that," Schuyler muttered.

"So, what, you didn't mean it?!"

"Of course I meant it!" he snapped intensely. "But I shouldn't be it for you, Starr. You need to move on, you need to be with someone who can give you what you deserve, that doesn't come with all the baggage I do."

"I don't want anyone else, I never will!" Starr cried, giving up the last of her strength and crumpling to her knees on the floor.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do, you have no right to tell me what I feel!" Starr shouted furiously, somehow managing to cry even harder. Schuyler fought with himself violently, part of him wanting so badly to just take her in his arms and comfort her, tell her he was so sorry for ever making her feel this way, but he knew he couldn't; if he loved Starr, he had to do this, it would be so much better for her in the long run.

"See, this is part of the problem, Starr! You are too attached to me, it's not healthy!"

"Excuse me for forming an attachment to the love of my life," Starr snapped sarcastically, almost wheezing the words out as she struggled to breathe properly.

"Your life that has only lasted for seventeen years so far, that's exactly my point! And it just makes me think even more that maybe I'm just someone you latched onto when you were desperate and vulnerable, and-"

"Oh my god, stop, please, please don't say that," Starr begged, the tears coming faster than she could wipe them away now, blurring her vision. "You promised not to leave me as long as I still wanted you! You said that you couldn't bear to hurt me again, Schuyler- what do you think you're doing right now?!"

Schuyler took a shaky breath, feeling like his heart had just physically cracked.

"I don't want to be doing this, Starr, you have to believe me, but even though you may want me right now, I'm not what you need, and I know I'm going to hurt you a hell of a lot worse if I don't act like a responsible adult and stop this now."

"Schuyler, please, you can't do this, please."

"I have to, Starr," he choked out, turning his back to her, knowing he would break if he continued to look at her in this state. "Look, you and I…we're done," Schuyler forced the words out, feeling violently ill as he did. "This is over."

"I love you so much, Schuyler, I love you more than anything- please don't do this," she whispered, her voice raw and scared. She had no idea how much this was tearing him apart, as she could not see Schuyler's heartbroken, crushed expression, only his tense, unmoving shoulders.

"You should go now," he replied softly.

Starr stared at his back in shock, her sobs stopping as well; who was this? Her Schuyler would never be so cold and unfeeling towards her; he wouldn't just turn his back while she was in tears on his floor, literally begging him not to destroy her like this.

She waited in the most tense silence of her life for him to break, fall to his knees beside her and tell her how sorry he was, that he couldn't do this after-all, that he loved her. It was like a standoff from an old movie or something- in the end, he won, none of what she was waiting for ever happened; he remained still and silent as a statue.

The shock numbing her to the pain for just a minute, Starr felt herself break instead and she simply gave up, weakly clambering to her feet and walking to the door without a word; she paused with her hand on the knob, waiting for him to call her back, but he didn't, and Starr despondently left, having no idea that Schuyler broke down the moment the door shut behind her.

In her car, Starr remained in the numbed state for a moment, just driving automatically, her mind and face blank, but slowly felt herself beginning to struggle for air; the toll this had taken on her heart suddenly made it feel hard to breathe, and before she knew it, Starr was hyperventilating, her body shaking so violently she couldn't believe she was still in control of the car. The tears flooded her vision once again, and Starr burst into painful sobs, her heart feeling like it had been shattered to pieces.

Before she even realized what she was doing, Starr abruptly pulled a u-turn and floored it in the other direction, her eyes hard and determined with anger- she knew exactly who was to blame for this, and they were going to see what they had caused.

At her dad's house, Starr jumped from her car and slammed the door without turning off the engine- she didn't intend to be here very long. She pounded on the door with her fist impatiently, and her dad answered a moment later, a confused smile on his face, one that quickly fell as he saw her tears.

"Starr? What's-"

"Congratulations, dad!" Starr shouted through her tears, gasping for breath around her sobs. "Schuyler just dumped me, you win! My life feels like it's over, my heart is broken, so I'm sure you're just thrilled- after-all, everybody knows the only time you're happy is when I'm not!"

"Starr, of course that's not true, I hate seeing you like this, but-"

"Oh, shut up, dad!" she yelled in disgust, furiously rubbing her eyes. "Don't bother lying to me, I don't want to hear a word of it. You did this, and I meant what I said when I warned you; I absolutely hate you for this, don't ever bother trying to talk to me or come near me again," she hissed, spinning on her heel and storming back to the car.

"Starr, I'm only doing what's best for you- you'll thank me for this someday!" Starr turned back and stared at him in disbelief, slowly shaking her head as she gave a bitter laugh.

"Go to hell, dad," she snapped, sliding into the car and slamming the door shut with a resounding thud.

Starr managed to compose herself before she picked Langston up, but was unsurprised when her set, stone face didn't fool her friend; Langston desperately tried to get her to open up and tell her what was wrong, but Starr barely said two words the entire way home- she'd managed to lull herself back to a state of numbness for the moment, and she knew that was the only way she was holding it together. The second she had to talk about it, she was going to fall to pieces all over again.

"Starr, is that you?" Blair called from the living room the moment they opened the door.

Starr opened her mouth to respond, but quickly clamped her hand over it as a lump built in her throat and she desperately tried to swallow it, tears shining in her eyes yet again. Langston gazed at her with intense worry and jumped in.

"Yeah, it's us!" she called back.

"Starr, can you come in here for a moment? I need to talk to you, alone."

"Starr, do you want me to-"

"It's fine," she replied to Langston tightly, stiffly walking into the living room and shutting the doors behind her. Her mom was sitting on one of the big couches, her face kind but serious, and she motioned for Starr to sit next to her, which she did.

"Hey, sweetie; how was your day?" Starr just shrugged, firmly pressing her lips together. Blair frowned, but continued. "Okay, so like I said, there's something we need to talk about. I just got a call from Marty Saybrooke, of all people, and she had something very…interesting to tell me." Starr realized what this was about, and wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry more. "Now she heard this from Cole, and I know he's not exactly a reliable source these days, so I'm just going to ask you, and I want you to know that whatever you tell me is all that matters. I am sure as hell not going to believe Marty Saybrooke over my own daughter, okay?" she said with a wry smile. Starr just nodded blankly. "Okay, Starr…have you been involved with your teacher, Schuyler Joplin?"

"Yes," Starr admitted softly, seeing no point in lying. She didn't want to lie to her mom of all people anyway.

Blair looked stunned, but just like Starr had predicted, there was no judgment or unjustified anger in her eyes either, only the surprise, confusion, and worry.

"Oh, um…okay, wow," Blair murmured, gently giving her daughter's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Okay, well, thank you for being honest, I don't know if I would have been at your age. I'm not mad, I want you to know that," she added quickly, looking nervous and eager to keep up this honesty from Starr. "I just want us to talk now, I want to understand what's been going on. Can you help me with that?"

"Sure," Starr said flatly, her voice practically dead. "You know all the stuff about how Schuyler's mom and Hope were connected, and dad's role in it, I've told you all of that, but I guess what I didn't tell you is that Schuyler and I just formed this…bond throughout all of it. I felt really connected to him right from the start, and the two of us really got each other. I could talk to him about everything, more than anyone else, and he became my go to person, and I don't know, I just…fell in love with him somewhere along the road. At that stupid dance, I lost control and kissed him right in the middle of the hall, and VP Dickinson found out, and he got suspended from his job because of me," she sighed, feeling a rush of guilt.

Schuyler thought he was destroying her life? It seemed like the other way around- no wonder he'd just dumped her.

"He got it back, thankfully, and I kept pushing the issue with us; he tried to fight it, mom, he really did, I want you to know that, because he's a really good guy that way. But that day Cole lost it, and got sent to rehab, I ran off to Schuyler's house that night because he was the only person I wanted to see, and he just broke it and couldn't fight what he felt for me anymore, and we've been together ever since. And I mean, we're really serious, mom, it's not a fling or something." Starr realized she should be talking in the past tense now, and the thought made her feel like someone had just ripped a hole in her chest.

"Wow," Blair sighed again. "I can't believe I had no idea this was going on, this whole time. You love him?"

"I really do," she whispered weakly.

"Does he treat you well?"

"So much better than well."

"Does he respect you?"

"God, yes," Starr sighed. Schuyler was one of the few people that had ever really made her feel like an equal to them.

"And he…he loves you back?"

"So he said," Starr choked out, fighting for her composure now. Blair was still distracted by all of this information and didn't notice.

"Well, okay then," she said simply, smiling slightly. "I suppose a teacher wouldn't exactly have been my first choice for you, but I know that you're smart and strong; you are a Cramer woman after-all, you wouldn't do this lightly, and you wouldn't let yourself be taken advantage of, so if you say this is real, I trust that. If he respects you and treats you well, that's all that matters."

"Even that doesn't matter anymore, because he just broke up with me!" Starr choked out bitterly, dissolving into tears.

"What? Sweetie, what happened? I don't understand."

"Join the club!"

"Okay, Starr, just tell me what's going on."

Starr tearfully told her mom everything that Todd and Cole had said and done to Schuyler, everything that had happened at the house with Zach, including her real reason for being there, Schuyler's strange behavior last night and that morning, and finally, every word he'd said to her at his place. Blair listened carefully and patiently, soothingly rubbing her daughter's back.

"Well, Starr, honey, it sounds like he's just a little panicked and confused right now, with everything he's had piled on him the past couple of days, and like he's just trying to protect you."

"It doesn't matter why he's doing it! It doesn't make it hurt any less, it doesn't bring him back to me!"

"Starr, I really think this is just a bump in the road, that you'll be able to get past!"

"But you don't know that, and I'm just…I am so scared that it might just really be over. You have to understand, mom, I really cannot lose him. I mean, his home feels like mine-, no, actually, he himself just feels like home to me. He's the person I go to when I'm scared, sad, happy; anytime something big happens or I feel something big, he's the one I want to share it with. I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone, mom, I don't want to live without him, I feel like I'm dying," Starr sobbed, collapsing against her mom's lap.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's okay, it's okay," Blair murmured, stroking her hair.

Starr just cried harder- no, it wasn't. It felt like someone had ripped her apart from the inside out, it was pure, screaming agony; this was not and was never going to be okay.

End Chapter 14

AN: For the record, I realize in reality no mother would ever be like 'You're dating your teacher? Well, if he loves and respects you, that's fine!", but that's why it's fanfiction, haha :P Don't hate me for the angst!