The trio silently crept into the old boarded up frat house, the car out front having left them without any doubt that Powell must have brought them here. John cautiously held his gun ready in front of him, prepared for Powell or Rebecca to be waiting for them, but they seemed to be alone downstairs. They all breathed slowly and silently, Starr anxiously clinging to Schuyler's shoulder as they waited for some kind of a sign.
"For once in your life, I want you to have to accept responsibility for what you've done!" an angry voice suddenly shouted from upstairs, abruptly breaking the silence. Starr jumped slightly, chills racing through her spine. John glanced at the ceiling with a look of grim determination.
"Listen, we're going to head upstairs, but I want you two to hang back once we're there," John instructed in a whisper. "I'm going to see what's going on and who he has so we know what we're dealing with, then I'll come back and tell you the plan. Got it?"
Starr and Schuyler both nodded wordlessly, and they followed John upstairs, staying back at the landing just as he'd instructed while he wandered down the halls, searching for the right room. Starr desperately wanted to say something, anything to Schuyler, just so she wouldn't have to wait in this overwhelmingly tense silence, but knew they shouldn't talk more than absolutely necessary, so she settled for holding his hand tightly as she anxiously waited for John's return.
When he finally came back after what had only been a few minutes but had felt like an eternity, John somehow looked even more upset, and Starr felt her heart drop to her stomach.
"Oh my God, is someone hurt?" she blurted out softly, unable to consider anything worse.
"I don't know," John told her, furrowing his brow. "Powell's only got Todd and Marty up here, but there are two more chairs which still have bonds on them- Blair and Tea were definitely in there at some point too. He must have moved them somewhere else."
Starr paled, and Schuyler moved his hands to reassuringly squeeze her shoulders; she sighed, leaning into his chest.
"Well, he hasn't had enough time to go far," Schuyler pointed out. "They have to at least be nearby."
"What do we do?" Starr questioned nervously.
"We've gotta split up," John said reluctantly. "Someone looks for Blair and Tea, someone rescues Todd and Marty."
"Starr and I will go find Tea and her mom," Schuyler said instantly. "You handle Powell. Come on, Starr, let's-"
"No," Starr uttered softly. Schuyler stopped, and he and John both looked at her in surprise.
"What?"
"No," she repeated, more firmly. "God, I really, really do not want to separate from you, Schuy," she choked out, her heart seizing at the thought. "But…I have to stay with John- I have to stay with my dad," she corrected herself quietly.
"Starr, no," Schuyler protested instantly, his tone hard but his eyes pleading with her. "That's not going to happen, I'm not just leaving you here with Powell." Starr lowered her head in frustration, digging her fingers into her hair.
"I'm not going to debate this, Schuyler."
"Neither I am!" he hissed. "I came to make sure nothing happened to you, and that's what I'm going to do- that kind of includes not abandoning you with the psycho."
"Look, Schuyler," she snapped, feeling the lump building in her throat. " 'I absolutely hate you' and 'go to hell' were the last things I said to my dad, okay? He thinks I hate him and don't care what happens to him, and…" Starr trailed off in frustration as tears burned her eyes, frantically shaking her head. "And now he's being held hostage by someone who has wanted the chance to murder him for years, and I don't know how this is going to end, so I cannot just leave him."
"Starr, I understand that you feel guilty, but it doesn't mean you go get yourself killed for him, and I will be damned if I just walk away and let that happen," Schuyler spat.
"That won't happen! John and I will have it under control, okay?" He still looked like he was going to put up a fight, and Starr softened as she tried to reason with him. "Schuyler, please. What if this had been your mom? If you were put in a situation like this when things with your mom were so bad, could you have lived with yourself if you didn't go to her and make sure that no matter what, she knew you loved her?"
Schuyler sighed heavily, looking away; they both knew he couldn't say he would act any differently than she was now.
"Please go find my mom, Schuyler, please," she begged him intensely. "You guys are not going to get me to leave unless you drag me out of here kicking and screaming, so this is just a waste of time, and for all we know, my mom could be seriously hurt and not have that time to waste. If you love me, please just go."
"You are not playing fair," he sighed again, a reluctant acceptance creeping into his eyes. "Okay. I hate this, but okay." He shot John a begging look over Starr's shoulder, his unspoken request to keep Starr safe clear, and John gave a small nod.
"Thank you," Starr murmured, throwing her arms around his neck.
Schuyler hugged her so tightly that she could hardly breathe, obviously even more worried than he was letting on. Starr swallowed roughly as she nuzzled her nose against his neck, breathing him in; she had been so focused on getting Schuyler to let her stay with Todd that she hadn't been able to really consider about what he'd be doing, but now, the thought of him being alone as he searched the grounds absolutely terrified her, far more than the thought of facing Powell did.
"Be careful, okay?" she pleaded as she pulled back. "Make sure you come back to me in one piece."
"The danger magnet who has this nasty habit of always thinking of herself last is telling me to be careful?" Schuyler asked, struggling (and failing) to make his tone light, keep his voice steady. "You be careful, please. I'll see you soon, okay? I love you."
"I love you too."
He cupped her face, simply kissing her forehead; Starr understood. A real kiss felt too final, like a goodbye. She grabbed his hands, squeezing tightly as she mustered up a smile, then let him go, watching with a heavy heart until Schuyler was completely out of sight.
"You sure you want to go in there?" John asked her softly. Starr nodded tightly. He shot her a dark look, gesturing to his gun. "Well, this should be over fairly quickly anyway. You stay back, okay?"
"I'm not going to argue," she sighed, shuddering at the thought of what John was about to do. Guns freaked her out more than the average person- side effect of having them pressed to her head during hostage slash kidnapping situations one too many times.
John motioned for her to follow, and lead the way down the halls to the appropriate room; Starr could still hear Powell and her father arguing in quiet tones, and her breath caught in her throat as she felt a rush of fear that her dad was making it worse.
John pushed his back to the wall right next to the door, carefully listening to the voices in the room, waiting for a cue to enter and shoot, and Starr watched him with great anxiety, her heart thundering so wildly that it almost felt painful. John seemed to hear something he considered a good sign, and he held his free hand up, counting down from three fingers to warn her. When the last went down, he spun so he was now in the doorway, gun outstretched and finger on the trigger, but Starr heard a squeaking of wheels and John suddenly froze, his eyes wide.
"Ah ah ah," she heard a voice calmly reprimand from within the room. "Not very smart, John; you think I couldn't hear you skulking around in the hall earlier? Why don't you and whoever else is here come on inside and we can have a nice civilized conversation."
Whatever Powell was doing made John's calm control break, and a look of fear took it's place. He reluctantly started to step inside, though he did not lower his weapon. John motioned for Starr not to follow, but after taking a deep breath to try and gather herself, she did exactly that- Powell was just going to become more infuriated later if he realized she'd been there and hadn't followed orders.
"So, you got out of the straightjacket? That's impressive! I actually…" Powell suddenly stopped in midsentence as Starr slowly entered the room behind John, and he and Todd both froze, staring at her in disbelief. While Todd's features were set in horror, Powell's slowly split into a grin. "Starr!" he greeted her brightly. "Oh, so good to see you! Look, Todd, it's like our own little family reunion."
Starr swallowed roughly, her heart about to beat out of her chest as she tried not to focus on just Powell and glanced around the room in shock. Unlike the rest of the house, which looked like exactly what it was- a long abandoned building- Powell had completely restored this room, and decorated it down to the last detail; it looked like a group of frat boys still lived there. Starr felt a surge of disgust as she realized John had been exactly right; he was recreating the night of the rape.
She took a slow breath, allowing herself to glance at Powell, and saw that he had Marty, who was tied to a computer chair (that had been the cause of the wheels she'd heard, apparently) in front of him, using her as a shield so John couldn't fire a shot, holding a knife only inches from her throat. Starr tried to catch Marty's eye, but the woman was slumped over, gazing around the room blearily, and looked sick. Starr felt a strong twist of fear- oh God, what was wrong with her? Was she reacting badly to the drug Powell had knocked them out with?
"You-brought-my-daughter?"
Starr's head snapped to the side at the harsh, strangled whisper, and she gasped when she saw her father tied down to the bed, gazing at John in complete and utter rage.
"Dad," she whimpered. Todd didn't seem to hear.
"If Powell here doesn't do it for me I will kill you for this, McBain," he hissed through clenched teeth, violently tugging at his bonds. Powell scoffed, furrowing his brow.
"Even now, your first thoughts are of violence. What went so wrong with you that this is how you think, Todd?"
"You expect us to believe you're not thinking the same thing?" John asked calmly, his gaze never wavering. "Because the knife in your hand says differently."
"I'm trying to put an end to all of this violence and darkness, once and for all- it's not my fault you came barging in with a gun and interrupted, forcing me to do this. Give me your gun and nothing bad has to happen," Powell ordered steadily. "You supposedly love this woman, John; are you really going to put ending my life at a higher priority than saving hers? Maybe you're more like Todd than you care to admit."
"He's bluffing," Todd snorted.
"Dad, please, don't," Starr begged as Powell's eyes narrowed, nervously wringing her hands. So, apparently her inability to keep her mouth shut and not say things that pissed criminals off came from him.
"I just sat through a ten hour speech about how Powell is never going to let anyone hurt Marty again," Todd snapped at John. "He's not going to touch her."
"Dad! Don't, you're-"
"No, Starr, it's okay, your father's right. Poor Marty has been through more than enough, I shouldn't be lowering myself to your dad's level and using her for my own purposes, it's wrong. I'm so sorry, Marty."
Starr stared at him with wide, stunned eyes as Powell rather calmly walked to the bed, still dragging Marty in front of him in the chair, then pressed the blade right to Todd's throat instead. Todd stared him down evenly, but Starr gasped in fear, tears of panic piercing her eyes.
"It's okay, Starr," her father tried to soothe her, keeping his eyes trained on Powell.
"No, Todd, it's really not. See, you're right, I won't hurt Marty…but I certainly have no qualms about hurting you. So, John, unless you'd like to me to slit Todd's throat right now and defeat the purpose of your little rescue mission, I suggest you walk over here and hand me that gun."
John hesitated, looking between Marty and Todd with a conflicted expression, and Powell slowly began to push the knife deeper.
"John!" Starr shrieked.
John instantly dropped the gun to his side and stormed over to Powell, his eyes burning with hatred; Starr wasn't sure if it was directed more at Powell or her father.
"Wise choice," Powell congratulated, accepting the gun with one hand so he could keep the knife on Todd.
He now pointed it directly at John's head, and Starr shrank back, her mind reeling; John and her dad were both inches away from being killed, and something was seriously wrong with Marty, the woman practically seemed comatose; it seemed she was on her own here, at least for now.
"Why don't you take your wife's seat, John?" Powell suggested, nodding to one of the chairs with ropes on both arms and marching him over at gunpoint.
"Where is Blair- and where is Tea?" John demanded roughly, doing as he was told.
"I offered the women a chance to save themselves from the monster that has dictated their lives for so many years, and they chose not to take it- Tea chose to repay me for offering my help by attempting to kill me," he spat. "I no longer had any use for them."
"Oh my God!" Starr cried before she could stop herself, almost doubling over- what did that mean? "What did you do to them, Powell, what did you do to my mom?"
"I make no promises about Tea, but your mother is fine, Starr- I simply relocated them when they made their choice."
Starr allowed herself just a moment of relief that at least her mother was fairly safe for now, then quickly processed the news. It sounded like Tea was hurt, and that meant even once Schuyler managed to find them, he was going to have to help her- meaning he wouldn't be coming back up here for a long time. Everyone else in the room was tied up, and she could not count on Schuyler arriving at the moment she needed him this time- crap.
Powell shoved John into the chair, keeping the gun on him as he tied the ropes in knots and Starr silently crept to her father's bedside, furiously fighting the urge to panic.
"Dad, are you okay?" she whispered, kneeling beside him.
"I'm fine, sweetie," he told her softly, nervously watching Powell over her shoulder. "But you should not be here- get out now, go find help, it'll be-"
"No," she choked out, shaking her head. "I won't leave you, I can't. Dad, you need to know that I didn't mean everything I said to you, okay? You need to know that," she pleaded, tears burning her eyes. "I don't hate you at all, I never could."
"I always knew that, Starr," he said softly, giving her a slight smile. "I figured out around the fourth time you told me you hate me that you never really mean it. Now, please, just get out of here while you…"
Todd suddenly froze, his eyes growing wide as he looked at something over her shoulder, and a moment later Starr held a loud crack. She braced herself in dread, her stomach turning as she felt ill; it was the exact same noise she'd heard when Zach had bashed Schuyler over the head with the gun.
Already knowing what she was going to find, Starr turned on her heels and saw John unconscious in the chair, chin on his chest; Powell was still standing next to him, wiping blood of the butt of the gun with his shirt, and she gazed at him with wide, terrified eyes. Powell shrugged, carelessly tossing the gun aside.
"I didn't invite him," Powell said simply. "He knows he didn't receive an invitation. Does it bother you that he was here, Marty?" he wondered, sounding genuinely curious. "That he continues playing the role of savior for you even after he chose to marry Todd's leftovers? You deserve so much better than that," he sighed, shaking his head. Marty whimpered, low in her throat; she murmured something to herself Starr knew Powell was too far to hear- it sounded like 'don't.' "But enough about him. I'd much rather focus on you, Starr. Can you please move away from the bed?"
Starr instantly stood up and did as she was asked, returning to the center of the room and fidgeting anxiously.
"Just let her go, Powell," Todd begged. "My daughter has nothing to do with this; your problem is with me, there's no reason to involve her."
"Oh, don't pretend you actually care about your child, Todd," Powell said in disgust. "I'm not going to fall for that, it's far too late. Besides, Starr is every bit as involved as Blair was- more, actually. I was so hoping to get to meet my little second cousin here; I was so disappointed that you weren't home, Starr," he addressed her directly now. "But you saved me the trouble and came to me, how kind of you."
Starr just stared at Powell in a nervous silence, watching carefully as he paced around; what the hell was she supposed to say to that? 'You're welcome? Always great to meet a new member of the family?'
"Now, Starr, I'm going to give you the same opportunity I presented to the other women. Unfortunately, I doubt you have any more gumption than your mother, but perhaps you'll prove me wrong."
He picked the knife up from where he'd placed it on the desk, now striding towards her, and Starr's heart leapt into her throat as she stumbled backwards, but it processed in the back of her mind that her father was not screaming his usual threats. What was going on? Powell stepped a few feet away from her, and to her surprise, suddenly spun the knife around, so he was carefully holding it by the blade, and to her complete disbelief, he extended the handle towards her.
"Starr, would you like to kill your father?" Powell asked brightly, the way you would ask a child if they'd like to go to the park.
Starr stared at him in a stunned silence, her jaw practically hitting the floor. What the hell was this? Was he kidding her? Testing in her some way? Was he seriously trying to offer her a knife to go to town on her father with? Who did that?
"Wh…what?" Starr finally managed to choke out in shock, her head spinning.
"Do you want to kill your bastard father and finally be rid of him forever?" Powell asked again, his eyes burning as he spoke of Todd. "This is your chance- take the opportunity your mother refused! He hurts the people you love, Starr. He's hurt you, time and time again. I heard all about daddy shoving you down a flight of stairs- supposedly an accident of course, but one has to wonder if he just realized it would be a good way to be rid of Marty's poor, defenseless grandchild and teach his daughter a lesson about disobeying him in the process."
"What?! No, it was an accident, and he didn't even know I was pregnant, Powell!" Starr cried.
"And why is that? Were you afraid to tell him, Starr?" Powell asked quietly, his tone sympathetic. "Nobody should live in fear of their own parent. Why would you tolerate that?"
"He's not the one I'm afraid of here- I never have been," Starr said softly, backing away from the knife. Powell cocked his head, sighing heavily.
"So, that's a no?"
She nodded lamely, and for a moment, there was only tense silence in response. Powell gazed at her with great interest, taking a step closer, and this time, Starr could hear her father thrashing against the bed.
"One more step and I will kill you, Powell!"
Starr heard Marty emit another small whimper, still looking lost within herself, and she furrowed her brow as Powell slowly smiled again, shaking his head as he gestured to Todd.
"That's what you've grown up with, Starr. A man whose solution to everything involves bloodshed. Who threatens to get what he wants. Who lies, and rapes, and cheats, and steals, and kills. How on earth could you not be afraid of him? Unless…it's because you're just so similar to him. You consider yourself daddy's little girl, Starr?"
"I swear to god, Powell, if you-"
"Oh, relax, Todd, I'm not like you, I'm not going to hurt Starr; well, not if she doesn't give me a reason to, and I think Starr is smarter than that," Powell said pleasantly, smiling at Starr in a manner that didn't seem intentionally threatening and sinister the way Zach's had, just genuinely friendly. Somehow, that was even creepier. "See, Starr, you're the wildcard here, I can't get a good read on you."
"What are you talking about?" Starr asked slowly.
"You don't seem as blind to your father's behavior as his whores do, and yet, you don't do anything about it. I have to wonder what's worse; the fool who's truly blind, or the enlightened who simply chooses to turn a blind eye. At the moment, I'm leaning towards the latter. He was planning to kidnap your baby, Starr! He was going to take her away from you and raise her with the incompetent, defenseless woman he was raping all over again, and you knew this. You knew, and yet, when the opportunity arose to finally make Todd Manning receive an ounce of the justice he deserved, to get justice for your baby and Marty, you protected him. You sat up there, took an oath and proceeded to lie in front of God to save the life of a sick, demented rapist. Can you explain that to me?"
Starr bowed her head, pressing her lips together in a firm line as he berated her, struggling to give away no emotions, and slowly shook her head.
"Powell, I'm literally begging you- please, let Starr-"
"Todd," Powell cut him off, slowly and deliberately holding up the knife as his eyes flickered to Starr, his warning clear. "I will get to you soon, I promise you that, but for now, it would really be best for everyone involved if you shut your mouth and let Starr and I speak." Todd paled, fear visible in his eyes, and simply nodded.
"I'm so sorry for the interruption, Starr- I'm sure you're used to that from him, though. Now, I honestly want to know- are you proud that you committed perjury for such a worthless human being? Do you feel any shame or guilt for all the people who were robbed of their chance to see Todd Manning finally suffer for his crimes? Much like your father, you suffered no consequences for your actions- do you feel smug about the fact that you can break the law, do whatever you want and just get away with it, as he does? This is not rhetorical, I want an answer."
"Of course not!" Starr cried. "I'm not smug, I'm not proud! As soon as court let out, I went to the cemetery, collapsed at my baby's grave and just hugged the headstone and sobbed and told her over and over again how sorry I was, and I couldn't get back up for hours. I have questioned and second guessed what I did that day over and over again, and I'm still not sure I made the right choice!"
"Then why did you do it?" Powell demanded. "What kind of person commits perjury for such a heinous human being without even being sure that it's the right choice?"
"I did it because he's my dad!" Starr shouted in tears, sobs building in her throat as she silently prayed for some miniscule chance that she could get through to Powell and make him understand. "He's my dad, and I have loved him my whole life, and I don't know how to just turn that off, Powell, my heart doesn't work like that. You protect the people you love, you protect family, that's all I've ever known! I guess it's true that blood is thicker than water, because all I could think at that moment was 'This is your dad, and you love him' and it just overwhelmed everything else, it was all that mattered, because I do- I love you so much," she choked out to her dad, turning to face him. It may have just been a trick of the light, but she could have sworn his eyes were shining with tears.
"I love you more than anything in the world, Starr," Todd replied softly. Powell rolled his eyes.
Starr turned her head back as she cried, fearfully waiting for Powell's reaction. Powell made a 'tsk' ing noise a moment later, sighing.
"I see. Oh, Starr, you poor, poor girl," he murmured, his voice heavy with pity. She glanced up, startled, and Powell shot her an encouraging smile. "It's okay, Starr, I understand now. It's not your fault. Your father has just twisted you the same way he has Tea, Marty and Blair- but it's so much worse for you; they've all had lives outside of him, but his sick games are all you've known since birth."
"I don't understand," she muttered weakly, rubbing her eyes.
"I know you don't- I'm trying to help you to. Your father does not love you, Starr. He is the textbook definition of a sociopath; he is not capable of love, much as you'd like to believe otherwise. He has spent your entire life manipulating you to make you love him, just as he has done to Tea and Blair, just as he did to Marty when the opportunity arose, and once he succeeded, he began using his supposed love as a weapon. I'm sure he pulled off some pitiful performance for you before the trial, pretending to feel guilty because he knew it would tug your heartstrings."
Starr involuntarily thought back to that day at the graveyard, how regretful her father had seemed, the promise he'd made to be worthy of her love again someday, and could not help reflecting that he had never come through on that promise, that she'd never really seen that regret again after the trial.
"And when you upset him, he takes his 'love' away, and only gives it back once you break down and do what he wants. Isn't that right, Starr? For God's sake, it's like you're a dog in training and his love is the treat- he makes you beg for it, perform for it, and withholds it when you don't live up to his standards, only giving it to you when you fall in line."
She did not respond, but yet again, the thought crossed her mind that it was exactly what he'd done time and time again when she'd been with Cole, or after he'd discovered she was going to give Hope away. Starr furiously shook her head, feeling sick with herself for these thoughts; why was she letting a completely psychopath who had hated her father for years get to her so easily? Why was she just letting Powell play family therapist here?
"I, for one, find it despicable, and I intend to free all of the women in Todd Manning's life from his control, one way or another. But I don't want to just save you, I want you to take your power back!" Powell shouted eagerly, starting to sound excited. "You know I'm right, I can see it in your eyes. Don't tolerate it anymore! Blair and Tea were too far gone, they couldn't do it even after how he's made them suffer, but I have to believe there is still hope for you, Starr. Prove me right," he whispered, offering her the knife once again. "Show him that you'll never be victimized by him again."
"Murder is not justice, Powell," Starr pleaded for him to understand, shaking her head. "You don't end violence by killing someone. My dad has done wrong, I'm so not denying that, but he doesn't deserve to die for it, and I'm certainly not going to kill him."
"Look at what you've done to your daughter, Todd. She's so weak- she won't free herself from you because she doesn't even understand that she's a prisoner," Powell hissed, eyes narrowing as he gazed at Starr. "You seem to be as useless as your mother- maybe you should join her."
"Powell, you hurt her and I swear to God-"
"See, you keep saying that, Todd- don't hurt Starr, don't hurt Marty!- but you've hurt these women more than anyone else ever has."
"You hurt Marty too, Powell," Todd reminded him tightly, relieved the attention was back on him instead of Starr and pushing it to keep it that way.
"You pushed me into it. I didn't want to hurt her. You pushed me into it. You and Zach told me I wasn't a man."
"You're still not a man, are you?" Todd snorted dismissively. "Look at you -- big tough guy threatening a seventeen year old girl."
"Shut up."
"And you're afraid to face me, alone, like a man."
"Shut up," Powell repeated darkly.
"You're as weak as you were back then! As weak as you always were!" Todd shouted.
"Not anymore! I'm the one holding the knife."
"Well, then, what are you waiting for? You want to kill me? Get it over with."
"Dad, no!" Starr wailed.
"You kill me, and when I'm dead, you let Starr and Marty go- that's the deal."
"You don't get to make deals anymore, Todd! You are in no position to get your way anymore, you smug bastard, get that through your head! I'm in control now, not you! You will never tell me what's going to happen, what to do, not ever again!" Powell roared, growing red in the face. "Now, if none of these women can do what needs to done, I-"
"Powell!"
They all abruptly froze in surprise as a female's voice sang out Powell's name from downstairs; Starr didn't recognize it, and realized it had to be Rebecca. Oh, God, what if she had found Schuyler? The urge to give up and just cry in panic hit her greater than ever, and she forced herself to breathe and keep her cool. Schuyler was smart as hell, and between his days of drug addiction and dating her, he was an expert at sneaking around, he'd be fine, she had to trust that or she was going to lose it.
She glanced up at Powell, and was surprised to see that he looked as confused as she felt- apparently, Rebecca being here was not part of the plan.
"Come here," he grunted, yanking her over to the last vacant chair and pushing her into it, tying her wrists to the arms so tightly that it hurt- she couldn't wiggle them even an inch. "I'll be back in a minute- Todd, I suggest you not do anything stupid, and Starr, I suggest you not let your father manipulate you into doing something stupid. Take this time to rethink your decision."
Powell pocketed the knife and stalked out of the room, and Todd and Starr both seemed to hold their breath until the sound of his footsteps completely faded away.
"What do we do now?!" Starr cried the second she was sure he was out of range.
She furiously tried to free herself from the ties. The force of her motion cause the stupid wheely chair to spin in circles as the rope held tight, and Starr sighed, realizing she looked like an incompetent idiot. She hated this, she hated being so helpless; if these hostage situations were going to become a regular thing, it would be nice not to feel so useless and have to just sit around and wait for her boyfriend or daddy to come to her rescue.
Giving up on that idea, she quickly managed to shoot her heels along the floor and drag the chair over to John's side as closely as possible, and she slowly exhaled in relief when she heard that he was breathing okay.
"I don't know, I don't know," Todd said quickly, straining his neck to look around the room. Starr was unnerved by the absence of his usual cool assurance. "But I have to get you two out of here. Oh, God, how am I going to do that?" he muttered to himself, sighing. "Okay, Marty…Marty," he repeated with a frown as she remained unresponsive. "Marty!"
Suddenly, much to Todd and Starr's shock, Marty screamed, as her head shot up and she started looking around in panic, breathing heavily.
"Marty, what the hell's-"
"Stop it!"
"Dad, what is she-"
"Zach, don't!"
"Oh my God," Starr uttered.
She fell silent now, horror twisting her stomach as she realized what was happening- Marty was relieving that night. She glanced to her dad briefly, and saw his eyes were shut, an expression of dread and shame on his face. Starr quickly averted her eyes, unable to bear seeing her father while this was happening.
"No, no. Oh God no, stop! No, help me, please!"
"Okay, Marty, listen to me," her father began, sounding eerily controlled considering the circumstances. The fact that his reaction was so minimal was how Starr knew this was affecting him greatly- the worse Todd felt, the more he swallowed it and put on a hard face. "I know you're scared, but --
"No, stop it!"
"What is it? What is going on?" Todd pressed.
Marty's head suddenly snapped up as she panted wildly, gazing around the room with a frantic look in her eyes. She finally seemed alert and aware, like she was actually there with them, and understood now that what she was seeing were only flashes of the past.
"I remember," she choked out, her voice absolutely anguished. Starr firmly pressed her lips together and kept her eyes shut as tears of disgust burned them; her father had been the one to put all that pain and fear there in her voice, and it was killing her to hear it. She couldn't imagine how much she would lose it if she had to see the pain in Marty's own eyes.
"You remember what?"
"You. I remember you raping me right here," she whispered. Starr swallowed the lump in her throat and began to cry harder though she remained silent, horrified this was actually happening. She felt so violently ill and disturbed right now.
"You remember?"
"Yes," she breathed.
"How much?"
"It… it was raining," she recalled with cloudy eyes. "Lighting and thunder. Music was blaring downstairs. I was there on the bed. I had too much to drink so I was trying to sleep it off and then the door opened. It was you, Zach, and Powell. You were all smiling at me."
Starr emitted a muffled noise of disgust, and Todd swallowed roughly, forcing himself to block his daughter out completely. One look at her would bring on an overwhelming amount of regret, shame, self-loathing- he would drown in it, and he wouldn't be able to do what needed to be done now.
"You asked us to leave."
"Yes."
"And then Zach grabbed you and started dancing with you."
Starr desperately wished she could clamp her hands over her ears right now; she didn't want to hear this, God, she really, really should not be hearing this. Nobody should have to listen to their father help recount the moment he raped someone- what the hell was the matter with him, why was he doing that? And she really didn't want to hear about Zach, because it brought back reminders she certainly didn't need right now of how it felt when Zach had his hands on you, when he was forcing you to him, holding you against your will. Her stomach twisted as her head ached, a violent shudder waving through her body in response to her memories from that night.
"I was dizzy," she murmured. "I was so, so dizzy. I was going to be sick so I tried to… I tried to get to a phone but he wouldn't let me go." Her eyes flickered to Todd, and Marty's eyes slowly narrowed, anger flashing through them as she sat straighter and stiffer. "When I found out who you were, when I read all about it and Nora told me about it, I didn't feel it. I didn't feel it because I didn't remember, because I didn't want to," she spat.
"Remember it now," he prodded quietly.
"You want me to remember what you did to me?" Marty hissed in disbelief, giving a short, infuriated laugh.
"What's wrong with you?!" Starr exploded tearfully. "Why are you pushing her to do this? Haven't you done enough?" she demanded coldly. Todd clenched his fists tightly, taking a deep breath.
"It hasn't done her any good to block it."
Marty stared at him for a moment, then slowly shook her head as her face fell.
"I'm scared," she admitted.
"I can't hurt you again. I mean, not now, I'm tied up," he remaindered her with a dark smile. "I certainly can't hurt you any more than I already have. Listen, Marty, if you want your memories back, if you want your life back, maybe this is the best way. You might as well just go for it. Just let it go. Don't fight it. You were wrong, y'know- the last thing I want is for you to remember what I did to you. But if you can get all those memories back, the ones I took from you, the ones that you miss, maybe those memories are waiting for you on the other side. If remembering what I did to you what helps you break through, do it. Do it and hate me. I don't care. As long as you get your life back."
Marty pursed her lips, struggling to keep a composed face even as the tears started to burn her eyes, and looked Todd square in the eyes; he was going to see what these memories did to her, like it or not.
"You threw me on the bed -- and you got on top of me." Starr's breathing grew erratic as she desperately tried to block out what she was hearing, feeling like she was on the verge of dry heaving.
"And then I told them to lock the door," Todd filled in calmly.
"And they just stood there watching," Marty said angrily, blinking rapidly as tears spilled down her cheeks. "While you pinned me down , and then raped me." She slowly released a breath as her shoulders trembled. "Oh, I thought I was going to die. You were so angry."
Starr couldn't control a little flashback of her own, couldn't ignore the words ringing in her ears: "You are that bad person. You are that rapist." It had been true then and it was true now; her dad could be a completely awful person. Starr fiercely longed for the days when it had been so easy to defend her father because she hadn't believed that; she hadn't believed he had that darkness inside of him, that he was capable of such disgusting, horrible, messed up things. She missed being blind.
And yet…knowing what she did now, even after going through this, it didn't change anything. She knew it was undeniable that she loved her father. She would still defend him, she knew herself too well to claim otherwise. When Powell came back, she had every intention of crying and screaming and begging for him to understand and give her dad another chance- why? She had no logical reason for it; this moment should have been enough to shatter the love she felt for him, she should have stopped caring and decided right then and there that Powell could do whatever he wanted with him. Why hadn't she stopped caring? Was Powell right? Had she allowed herself to be broken down and manipulated into being this way?
"I couldn't breathe," Marty said shakily. "My head was pounding. I thought I was going to pass out.
"But you didn't."
"Uh-uh. Because I didn't want to die," Marty choked out. "I just…wanted it to stop. I wanted you to stop," she said in a strangled whisper, her eyes burning as she stared Todd down.
"When I was finished, do you remember what happened then?"
"You were still holding me down," Marty continued, her voice growing stronger, fueled on by her anger. "And then you turned to Zach and Powell."
"Do you remember what I said?"
"You said…she's been dying for it," Marty spat furiously, thrashing against the chair. Starr had a feeling that if Powell were to make his offer to Marty again at this moment, she would accept in a heartbeat- Starr would not blame her for a second.
"Zach stuffed a sweatband in my mouth so I couldn't make any noise. So, I tried to go to a different place in my head. I looked around the room and I found this little stuffed lion and I just stayed there. I stayed there and I stayed there. I focused on that and went back to a place when I was young and I was innocent and I stayed there," Marty rambled frantically, everything coming out in a rush now.
Marty's gaze flickered to Starr, and she saw that the young girl's eyes were now fixed on a magic eight ball sitting on a nearby table, fixating on it the same way Marty had the lion. Starr was staring at it with a hard, unblinking gaze as she continued to struggle against the ropes and waited for this to be over; Marty questioned whether Starr even heard them anymore. She swallowed roughly and pushed on, wanting to see this through and finally get all the way to the other side.
"And then it was Powell's turn and I thought maybe he wouldn't, but he gave in…and then it was over and I couldn't move," she finished, exhaling in relief, finding it slightly easier to breathe at this moment.
"And that's when Kevin found you," Todd added quickly, needing her to remember life had continued after that moment.
"Yeah. I was so messed up I thought maybe he was there, I thought maybe he was one of you.
"So, you went to the police and you pressed charge against all of us."
"And you went to prison and then they ended up pardoning you," Marty said, her voice dripping with disgust.
"Right, for saving your life."
"Is that how you justify that in your mind?" Starr cut in now, her voice hard and cold as her eyes never left the eight ball.
"No," Todd said firmly, gazing at his daughter helplessly before focusing on Marty again. "Marty, you know you had a good life after what happened."
"Don't," she snapped, not wanting Todd to act like that somehow made up for what he did.
"Don't stop remembering," he urged. "Come on. Here we are in Kevin's K.A.D. room, obviously for a reason."
"Yeah, because Powell's guilt drove him insane!" Marty shouted. "He wants you to suffer for it! He wants me to watch you suffer the way you watched me, the way he had to, but I can't. I can't. I'm not built like him, like you, I could never enjoy that."
"Well don't shut down now! Not now."
"No, no, no," she hissed, wildly shaking her head. "Why do you want to hear this from me?!"
"I want you to remember what happened here so you can remember what happened after here!" Todd snapped in frustration. "I mean, your life… your life means so much more. You're so much more than what happened-"
"I know!" Marty screamed, slowly taking a breath as her shoulders sagged. "I know," she repeated, quieter.
"She doesn't need her rapist to remind her that she's more than her rape!" Starr yelled at her father.
"You're right, she doesn't. You know that, Marty, and I want you to tell me about it. You moved on. Where'd you go next? You went to Ireland, right? You had it out with your aunt. What's her name, Kiki? What happened to you in Ireland? Who did you meet there?" he demanded.
"Patrick," Marty answered softly, her eyes clouding over as she tilted her head thoughtfully. She suddenly took a gasping breath, tears shining in her eyes. Starr cautiously looked over, and slowly turned back to face them, curious about this part.
"That's right. Patrick, the love of your life. Do you remember how much you loved him?" Marty nodded tearfully, a joyful smile suddenly appearing on her lips, much to the surprise of Todd and Starr.
"Pretend we're lovers. Ha! Pretend we're lovers. That's what he said to me. He grabbed and he kissed me. I played along."
"But you weren't really pretending, either of you, were you?" Starr asked softly. Todd quieted down at this point, thankful Starr had jumped in; he had no business discussing how Marty had reclaimed her life with her, not when he'd been the one to steal it. It was wrong; he'd done his part and should not insert himself any longer.
"No," she said with a warm smile, looking reflective. "Y'know, I'd seen pictures… but I couldn't feel him. But now I…oh God, I loved him," Marty whispered in amazement. "God, did I love him."
Starr sniffed, smiling sadly at the pure wonder and overwhelming love in Marty's tone. She tried to think about what it would feel like if she was unable to remember her love for Schuyler only to feel it all come rushing back at once, in a great wave of emotion; even just imaging made her heart pound and swell.
"I can see how hard this is for you, Marty," Todd said as Marty bowed her head, on the verge of tears. "But it's a good thing- you remembering everything from your past…good and bad."
"God gave us memory that we might have roses in December," she murmured.
"What?" Starr and Todd asked in unison, in the exact some tone of confusion. To her own surprise, Marty emitted a small laugh.
"It's a poem," she explained.
"Oh, did Patrick write it?" Todd questioned.
"No, James Barrie. It was from one of his favorite poems. He did read me a poem he wrote once. It was when we were married on Llantano Mountain. Ah, I remember that day," she said happily. "Oh, wow. Yeah, I remember, I remember the look on his face when he said I do," Marty giggled in almost hysterical joy. "So much love…for him, from him."
"Then you went to Ireland?" Starr prompted. Marty nodded.
"And we lived in this old cottage. It was like a fairy tale."
"Sounds like it," Starr agreed, her voice encouraging.
"And it wasn't long before I found out that I was pregnant."
"With Cole," Starr said with a smile.
"Yeah," Marty told her, grinning. She looked at Starr thoughtfully, and Starr realized she was likely remembering her and Cole's history together. "Patrick was there with me when he was born. He stayed by my side, and he held my hand. Oh, I'll never forget it. And I remember the look on his face when they put our son in his arms for the first time," she recalled with a giddy laugh. "And then he handed him to me. Oh, God, I can smell it. I remember how Cole smelled after his bath, and how he'd giggle when I kissed his belly. Oh, those precious years I had watching him grow up. Oh, wow, wow, I remember my son. I remember my son," she repeated with a bright grin, crying tears of joy.
"Cole's going to be so happy, Marty, you have no idea. He loves you so much, he's going to be so happy you remember," Starr told her, giving her something to hold onto.
"My son… he grew up so fast. It was like he was taking his first step, and all the sudden he's playing lacrosse. And I remember the first time he told me that he loved me, arms tight around my neck. He could barely get the words out. And, you know, he never stopped saying it, even in high school. In fact, that was the last thing I remember him saying -- before the van crashed."
"You remember the crash?" Todd piped back up. She hesitantly nodded.
"John got there right away. But Cole had been thrown from the van, and so I told him to go after him. And as soon as he was gone, there was an explosion, and then everything just went… black."
"But you remember it all now," Starr reminded her before Marty could get lost in her thoughts again. "You have it all back, you remember."
Marty took a deep breath and nodded, holding herself up a little straighter as she looked at Todd, her voice strong.
"I do remember, all of it- everything you tried to keep from me. You kept my whole world from me."
"Yes, I did. But you just got it back," he told her firmly. "And no one can take it away from you ever again, not me or anyone else."
"That's right," Marty said tightly. "I have my life back, and you will never take any part of it away from me again."
"See? There you go, it's over and done with now, and you're stronger for it. Now, we need to get you two out of here before…"
Todd trailed off as they heard footsteps near the door, all three occupants of the room waiting in dread; it was too late, Powell was back.
"I've got a guest," he announced his presence brightly. The door swung open, and what Starr saw when he walked into the room made her heart drop to her feet.
"Oh my god!" she screamed in a full blown panic, all thoughts of keeping cool or staying rational flying from her mind as she completely lost it; because there, in Powell's arms, was Hope.