Chapter 1 of This is Life
"Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."— Leo Buscaglia
Author: Lily
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.
Summary: Post 1.10 — Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?
Rating: T / PG-15
Pairing: Chuck/Blair
A/N — A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. *hugs*
*
"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."
Albert Camus
*
Blair rushed down the St. Jude's hall, searching for Nate.
She sighed. She was so late for meeting her dad, but she wanted to have a quick talk with him before seeing him at her house tonight.
"Nate!" She finally found him behind his locker.
"Blair, hey." Nate looked at her surprised.
"I'm sorry that I didn't call you. I was just-" Blair tried to explain.
"It's okay. Really, don't worry about that," Nate assured her.
Blair sighed again. Nate wouldn't for once, just let her finish her sentences, would he?
"I wanted to make sure everything's okay between us. I mean… we just got back together. I don't want to rush things," Blair recited her rehearsed lines.
"Oh, sure," Nate responded. "I'll see you at your mom's party tonight?"
"That sounds good. Well, I have to go, my dad's arriving soon and I have to get ready," she checked the time. She still had 27 minutes left to get home.
"Okay, see you tonight then." he smiled and shut the door to his locker.
Blair reached to her tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on his cheek, before hasting away.
--
Chuck stepped out of his limo and scanned the square for Nate. The boy was unbelievable. He had told him to wait the outside the school for him, but Nate was nowhere in sight. He didn't understand, why people would decide to go to school on the last day before holidays. Or ever.
After waiting fifteen minutes he decided to go search for him.
When he passed the doors, someone bumped straight into him. He smirked, when he noticed who it was.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't see you." Blair bent down to pick up her candy canes. Then she realised, who she had ran into.
She smiled. "Chuck Bass, what on earth are you doing in school? Did one of your little appointments cancel on you?"
"Why, are you jealous again?," he smirked his Chuck Bass smirk. "Because I wouldn't mind taking you up on that offer."
"Do you always have to be so pervy?" Blair rolled her eyes, but smiled slightly at his comment. "I was talking to Nate."
Chuck nodded. They were after all, now a couple. "Didn't you forget something?" he pointed at the canes.
"What? Oh, no. These are for me and my dad, we get them every year. Well, actually they are for my dad and Roman."
"Going for the kill, huh?" Chuck smirked.
"Yes," Blair grinned. He knew her so well. "Uhm… I probably should get going now. I don't want to be late," Blair was unsure, how to say goodbye to him.
"Merry Christmas, Blair." he bent down slightly to place a soft kiss on her cheek.
"Yeah, you too." She blushed and felt her legs turning to jelly, which caused her to stumble slightly. Feeling flustered, she nearly dropped her canes a second time.
Chuck grinned knowingly and gazed after her as she hasted away to hail a cab.
--
Blair stepped out of the elevator and immediately spotted her Dad.
"Daddy!" she exclaimed, smiling.
"Blair-bear!"
Harold approached her and wrapped his arms around her. They hugged tightly and she laughed happily.
"Oh, look at you. More beautiful than ever," her father looked at to her proudly. Then he turned around and revealed Roman, who was standing behind him.
"Sweetheart, you remember Roman?"
He hugged her too and she returned the hug less than enthusiastic.
"Blair, you are still perfection. Delicate, yet full with flavor, like a macaroon." Roman handed her a box of macaroons. She faked a smile, knowing that Harold was watching her every move.
Her father added, "It's the perfect opportunity for you two to get to know each other better."
"Absolutely. This is for you," Blair responded and handed her father a candy cane.
"Sweetheart, you remembered. It's our tradition," he told Roman.
"And this is for you," she smiled at Roman and gave him the other cane.
"Merci Blair," he thanked her politely, obviously delighted about her present.
"My pleasure," Blair smiled at him sweetly.
He was so naïve.
--
Blair was in her room, lying in her bed and covered under the sheets. She could hear the music from downstairs, since her mother had insisted to throw a Christmas party.
The first day with Roman and her father had been a blast. How had he managed to steal her father and still come over like an innocent lamb? She couldn't believe, that her father had already bought the château in Paris, with Roman. He hadn't even cared to make sure, if she was okay with it.
She felt so alone, so unloved. The darkness was consuming her and all she wanted, was to run into the bathroom and stick her finger down her throat. She hadn't done it since Harold had left her almost a year ago. (Well, she had done it at Thanksgiving, but that didn't count, since she had been destroyed, right? She hadn't meant to do it anyway.)
Blair could hear Nate's voice asking Dorota, where she was. They had been having a good time together, but then her mother had told her to go upstairs and to change into something 'more delightful'. She should really take Serena as an example, because she always dressed so 'enchantingly and charming'.
The urge became more demanding and finally she gave in and rushed into the bathroom, sitting down in front of the toilet. She opened the lid with trembling fingers.
Suddenly her phone rang. Without looking who it was, she answered it.
"Hey, how was your day? Did you manage to kick Roman's ass back to Paris?"
Chuck. She closed her eyes. Just hearing his voice calmed her. She tried to answer, but it came out as a sob.
"Blair? What's wrong?!" He demanded. She found, that he almost sounded concerned, but then she remembered, who she was talking to and quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind.
Blair finally managed to clear her throat and answered to his first question. "It was awful."
"What happened?"
"I can't tell you. You'll only laugh about it," Blair responded defensive.
"Come on, Waldorf. My day wasn't any better."
"Why? What happened?," she tried to distract from his earlier question. She was good in changing the subject unnoticed, in order to avoid answers.
"I asked you first," he retorted. Leave it to Chuck to notice it. Stubborn man.
She sighed.
"Fine. My dad already bought the château with Roman. That means there will be no chance to get him back to New York. He also decided to spend the entire day with him, although I suggested having tea with me at The Carlow. And my mother told me to change because I look absolutely horrible in my dress. Satisfied?"
He chuckled lightly and she was already about to shout at him for being the worst listener ever, when he started to talk.
"Like I said. Can't compare to my day. Bart dragged me to almost every club here and I had to watch every single girl dancing. Horrible. I guess, I will have nightmares for the first time in my entire life. They looked close to Marilyn Manson on Halloween."
A small smile reached her lips.
"So - you didn't find anyone suiting?" Blair asked.
"Are you kidding me? I don't pay someone money for scaring my guests away."
"And what happened then?"
"My dad wanted to go to the remaining bars, so I refused and it ended with sending me back to the hotel. He also told me how much I disappointed him and that it had been a good decision to not trust me with anything," his voice had become a little sad at the end and although he tried to cover it, she could still hear it.
"Chuck…" she didn't know what to say. He was having thousands of issues himself and yet he had called her and asked for her day.
He quickly decided to change the subject, sensing, that she was trying to console him.
"It's not the end of the world. You can visit him every now and then. I can even lend you the Bass' helicopter," she could hear him chuckle. "And about what Eleanor said… really, Blair? You're a Waldorf. You don't fit the dress, the dress is fitted to fit you."
"Thanks, Chuck." She tried to sound sarcastic, but it came out rather grateful, because actually she felt really honored to hear something like that coming from Chuck. He wasn't someone, who gave a girl much attention (if it didn't come down to bedding them, of course), but she was sure, he had never complimented or cheered up a girl like he had done with her.
"Anytime, Waldorf."
--
She decided to go downstairs in the same dress. Serena smiled at her brightly and nodded encouragingly.
Then her mother hurried to her side and whispered. "Blair, I told you to-"
"I like this dress on me, mother." she cutted her off frigidly. She didn't want to change herself into a Serena in order to please her. She wanted to be herself. And her mother would have to accept that.
Without a second glance back at her mother's face, she walked back to Nate.
--
To be continued
A/N: A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their favorite story and story alert list, it encourages me so much and I really appreciate that. Reviews, as always, would be lovely :)