Bullet Wounds and Broken Noses (Chapter 3)
Author: rcruz
Disclaimer:If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This is a very short piece that can be appropriately labeled AU. In this universe, the Stephens thing did not happen and Erica breaks up with Callie after she finds out about the whole Mark thing.
Show down at Joe's…
Sometimes it is hard to see leaves. We know they are there, we see their shape, their color, but we miss them. We see trees, we see the forest, but miss the leaves that give life to the trees, collecting sunlight and water and the necessities of life. Sometimes we need someone to point them out, to push our faces in the trees, forget the forest and just see the leaves.
Chapter 3 - Callie
Sam parked as close as she could to Joe's. She had been afraid Erica would cancel their dinner date and even though Erica had not exactly tried to cancel, Sam had insisted on coming to Joe's to make sure she didn't. It had taken Sam only five minutes to find the place as she had been in the vicinity dropping off Kate, the star witness in the little adventure that had landed her at Seattle Grace this afternoon. She knew she would probably need to wait a few minutes for Erica to show up, but she figured she could get a beer while she waited. She was curious about the whole quitting thing. Erica had promised explanations later, but even to Sam it seemed sudden. She had not mentioned it earlier when Sam was at the hospital.
They had parted amicably enough, but when Sam had noticed that Dr. Torres woman watching them as they said their goodbyes, she had mentioned it to Erica whose whole demeanor had gone cold. What the hell was upwith that? She knew it had something to do with the Torres chick, since Erica's interactions with other staff members, as far as Sam could tell, were fine. Plus, she hadn't particularly felt comfortable with how the Torres woman was bunching up her fists as she looked their way.
She started the relatively short walk to the bar wondering if Dr. Torres would be there and not being able to decide if she wanted her to be there or not.
***********
Callie was drinking. A lot. Mark had just called to tell her that he was going to try and convince Erica to come to Joe's. That was good. Maybe Erica would show up and actually talk to her. It was a long shot, she knew. It was, after all, Mark. Erica hated him.
The music was loud and part of her itched to get on the dance floor and let out the wild energy that seemed to pour into her with every drink. Instead she sat and watched the door. Mark and Erica were due any minute. She watched and drank, her heart beat picking up every time she saw the bar's door swing open. The door opened again. Her heart rate picked up again, but it wasn't them. It was some tall chick she didn't recognize. Wait. She looked again. Fuck me! It was shaggy headed girl from the clinic, Erica's friend. She was still wearing that stupid Thundering Dyke's softball jersey she had walked out of the hospital in under her leather jacket. She was looking around intently as she made her way to the bar. Who in the hell was this woman? And more importantly, what was she doing here?
Callie watched her closely until shaggy head's eyes came around to Callie and stopped. She altered course slightly and came right up to Callie.
"Hey, Dr. Torres, right?" she held out her hand.
"Yeah," was all Callie could muster as she took shaggy's hand.
"I'm Sam. From this morning? You've seen me without my shirt?"
So has Erica, thought Callie as she watched Sam place her order.
"So, what are you doing here?" Callie said sounding defensive and very unwelcoming. She was starting to feel a little buzzed and a little uninhibited.
"I'm supposed to meet Erica and some work people I guess. We have dinner plans later."
Sam accepted the beer placed in front of her, left a few dollars on the bar and took a long swig.
"Dinner plans?" asked Callie.
Sam nodded. "Yeah. We're going to a little club my cousin owns. It's kind of a club and restaurant. We've missed her the last few months. I guess she's been really busy here."
"Yeah. She's been busy. So she used to go to this club often?" Somehow that didn't seem to make sense to Callie. Her straight laced girlfriend did not do clubs.
"Sure whenever she got a chance. Good Puerto Rican food, good music. I would be there all the time if I could."
Callie's eyes widened in surprise and she took a moment to really look at the woman.
"Why would your cousin own a club that serves Puerto Rican food?"
Sam rolled her eyes.
"Because he's Puerto Rican and he can cook. So am I by the way, in case you were wondering."
Callie blinked.
Oh what the fuck, thought Callie, downing another drink.
"That a problem?"
"No. I guess I just thought I was her token Latina friend."
Sam looked at Callie seriously. "Erica doesn't do token. As a friend of Erica's, you should know that."
Callie said nothing, choosing instead to order another drink.
******************************
Something was definitely up, thought Sam sipping from her beer. She looked over her shoulder at the door not sure if she had done the right thing by sitting next to Dr. Torres.
"So are you friends or lovers?" Callie interrupted her musings.
"What?"
Sam shook her head and picked up her beer. "Listen, I'm going to wait over there..."
"Just answer the question. I need to know what I'm up against."
Sam furrowed her brow, confused. "How do you even know I'm gay? Is it my shoes?" she asked annoyed.
Callie gave her a look.
"Okay, I'm pretty obvious, but still. Look, Dr. Torres, I don't know what you're trying to get at, but it's really none of your business who I'm friends or lovers with."
"I'm talking about Erica!' said Callie clearly frustrated.
"What about Erica?" asked Sam still thoroughly confused by Callie's question and trying to work out exactly what the slightly drunk woman in front of her was trying to say.
"Erica and I are friends, which you already know. As far as I know Erica is not gay, so..." she stopped, thinking for a bit about her interactions with both women. HOLY SHIT!
She started to laugh. This cannot be happening, she thought.
"Wait a minute, wait, just wait. Are you and Erica...together as in together-together?"
Callie was not looking directly at Sam, but she did not hesitate to answer Sam's question, having wanted to shout it at her for the last five minutes.
"Yes! Yes... I mean no. We were, but I fucked it up and now we're not, but I intend to change that. So I need to know, why you are here and who in the hell you are."
Sam was stunned. Erica was involved with a woman? When in the hell had that happened? She turned her attention to Callie who seemed to want something from her.
"Dr. Torres..." Sam started to say, but she was stumped. Her mouth was open, but no words were coming out. Finally she seemed to compose some thoughts and continued.
"I'm Erica's friend, that's all. That's all we will ever be. So don't go all fatal attraction on me. But you'll have to excuse me if I'm a little...shocked, stunned, blown completely out of the water! I mean I didn't even know Erica had, you know, come out..." she drifted off thinking of their conversation in the hospital. Erica had told her that she needed to tell her something. Was this the something?
"Fuck," she said startling Callie a little.
But Callie ignored Sam's apparent shock.
"I'm sorry I'm being all...crazy I guess. I just...we broke up two days ago, but I have every intention of getting her back, so I kind of wigged when I saw you two together."
"Well that explains some things," said Sam. "So wait, how did this happen and why did you break up?"
Sam felt kind of guilty asking Callie for details of Erica's life. She knew Erica was very private, but she was way too curious to not ask.
"It just happened. One moment we were friends, the next…I couldn't stop thinking about kissing her."
Callie did not want to look at Sam as she said the next part, so she looked for Joe instead and signaled for another drink.
"As for the other thing, well I um...slept with someone else."
Sam had been in the process of opening the second beer that had appeared next to the empty one she had practically gulped down. She stopped.
"Son of a....You did what?"
"I know, I know. I fucked up."
"That doesn't even begin to cover it. That is one helluva of a fuck up."
"I did it twice."
Sam spit her beer out, spraying Callie liberally.
"Shit, sorry," she said.
She reached for napkins as she spoke and handed them to Callie hoping she would clean herself up. She certainly didn't want to touch her. This girl was bad news. Callie tried wiping the remnants of Sam's beer off her face and hair.
"Thanks a lot," said Callie. "This will really help me get her back, eau de Coors."
"Dr. Torres,"
"Call me Callie."
Sam thought hard about that. This woman had hurt her friend, probably badly. Deciding she needed to hear the rest of the story before telling her off completely, she relented.
"Okay, Callie."
But she was still pissed. "What the fuck, Callie? That's pretty unforgivable."
Callie's shoulders slumped and Sam felt a little tinge of regret. Drunk or not, the woman was obviously on shaky emotional grounds. Sam fidgeted with the label on her beer weakened by the condensation that had collected along the bottle's surface. She turned serious eyes toward Callie, softening her tone a little.
"I'm not sure you can come back from that, Callie."
She was thinking of Erica's smile and how it didn't quite reach her eyes. She thought of Erica's cold behavior and she started to feel the anger boiling in her stomach again, anger directed at the slightly sloshed woman sitting next to her. She tried setting the anger aside as Callie addressed her.
"I know, but we're going to have to because I hate not being with her. It sucks. I miss her and I just can't seem to..."
"Probably shouldn't have slept with someone else then," Sam interrupted. "Look Callie, sometimes the things we want and the things we can have are different." She shrugged wanting Callie to understand that there were some things that just happened a certain way, no matter how much you want them to come out differently. "If you hurt someone, as badly as I think you have, no matter how much it sucks, you might not be able to come back from that."
"Not in this case. I understand I fucked up, but I can't not be with her. I can't. The last couple of days…have not been good. I thought... I thought I was doing the right thing. I needed space to deal with everything, so I just let her go. But everyday, every hour, every minute… And then I saw you together and I realized it was mistake to let her go."
There were tears in her eyes, which she instantly wiped away with short angry motions and Sam started to feel like this was a bit more complex than she had originally thought.
"If you feel that strongly, why did you sleep with someone else?" Sam asked honestly perplexed.
"The first time because I thought I sucked at the sex and I wanted to get better."
Sam blinked rapidly. She was confused again. She had never heard that as an excuse for cheating in her life.
"That makes no sense."
"I know that NOW. But Erica was really, really good at it. I mean really good and I couldn't...go there...the first time because I was nervous. I didn't know what I was doing and I wanted to be better for her."
Okay, this woman had to stop with the images. It was bad enough to find out the way she did that Erica actually did play for her team, but it was quite another to hear the details of Erica's sex life. That was just too much.
"Ewww...Okay let's get something straight. First Erica is like a sister to me, so please no talk about how good she is in bed, okay? Second, that still makes no sense. Do you not know how this works? Practice girl, you just needed practice. And I mean practice with the person you want to be with. What did you do rent a service?" She paused to take a drink. She almost didn't ask, but the whole situation was just so weird, that she felt compelled to. "What about the second time?"
Callie looked down. "The second time I was freaking out because Erica told me I was her glasses. She had this moment after we...after I had figured out the sex thing." She looked up. "After, you know...and she told me she was gay and that I was her glasses and I got scared."
"So you slept with someone else? Does your brain work differently than everyone else's or something?"
What the hell had Erica gotten into with this woman?
Callie frowned. "I didn't feel gay. I don't feel gay now and I got scared and so I slept with a guy to see...to see if it was different. Erica was so sure of herself and I wanted to be too, but I wasn't. I wasn't ready."
"It was a guy? You slept with a guy? Oh, for Pete's sake woman!"
"Ugh, I know. I know. You don't have to say it."
But Sam was not done. She frowned. "What does that even mean? I don't feel gay. I don't feel gay either. I just am."
"Yeah well, I was freaking out. Don't tell me you didn't freak out when you first realized you liked girls."
Sam thought back. Actually she hadn't, but that wasn't really a fair comparison. Her cousin had come out first, so it wasn't new territory for her. Plus, she had had plenty of signs, so it hadn't really come as a surprise to her. Now Erica - that was a surprise. She would need to remember to ask Erica whether she had freaked out.
"I didn't, at least not like you did. Although honestly Callie, you're reaction's pretty extreme." She paused, thinking. "Maybe you're not gay, but what does that have to do Erica? They're separate issues."
"What do you mean, separate? No they're not."
Sam shrugged. "Yeah they are. How you feel about one woman has nothing to do with how you feel about all women. I knew I was gay because I always developed crushes on the female leads in movies, not because I was crushing on Sigourney Weaver. I mean who didn't crush on Sigourney Weaver in her underwear?"
"Me!" shouted Callie.
Sam gave her a look that said she absolutely did not believe her.
"Okay, maybe a little, but still, falling in love...I mean having feelings for another woman has to make you question things, right?"
"Of course. But if you like someone, if you really like someone, why are you sleeping with other people? I mean, I don't get it. How does that even become a possibility? When I like someone, I like them. I don't sleep with someone else just to make sure I really like the person I like."
Callie was silent. "You do if you're scared out of your mind."
"Well, okay, sure I'll give you that. If you're crazy you might do that. Are you crazy Callie?"
"I must be," said Callie running her hands through her hair in frustration.
Sam waited a while before starting up the conversation again.
"You said earlier that you weren't ready. Are you ready now?"
Callie looked at her. "All I know is that I want to be with her. I told her what I had done because I wanted to be with her. I wanted to start over. I didn't want to lie to her and she said it was okay."
"But it wasn't?"
She shook her head. "No, it so wasn't. She broke up with me."
"Wouldn't you have done the same thing if she had come to you and told you she had slept with someone else?"
Callie's eyes were angry. "I know what you're getting at. I have been betrayed. I was married once and my husband cheated on me with his best friend, so I know what betrayal feels like. Which is why I also know that forgiveness is possible."
"Then you should also know how hard it is to forgive that type of betrayal."
There were tears in Callie's eyes. Sam started to think that maybe this crazy half-drunk woman really did love Erica. She stared at her, not sure if she wanted to offer support or not. The tears were silent. Callie was making no noise. Her face was contorting weirdly and the tears just kept coming, but no sound came from her. It was eerie. Sam felt her resolve dissolving. She tried lightening the mood.
"So you were married? What the hell woman? How many lives have you led?"
There was a delay. Callie was obviously trying to get herself together. She blew her nose, wiped away her tears and looked up to answer Sam.
"Yeah, I was married for about five minutes."
"Does Erica know?"
"She helped me sign the divorce papers."
Sam ran her hands through her hair. Could there be more drama with these two?
Callie downed the last of her drink.
"Was it because of...you know...you and Erica?"
Callie frowned. She was looking at Sam like she was both crazy and an idiot.
"I just told you, it was because he cheated on me with his best friend!"
"Right, sorry. So he's gay too?"
"No. His best friend is a very attractive, blonde, ditzy, mean, very female doctor."
"Ah, one of those. Never did like blonde doctors personally." Sam winked at her.
Callie chuckled a little. "Don't worry. It was good. I mean, I was angry. Really angry for a really long time, but it was really the best thing that could have happened to me." She frowned. "Erica and I might not have...gotten together if that hadn't happened."
Sam tilted her head finding Callie's statement interesting. "Why do you say that?"
"She was really there for me. We became friends and then…" Callie spared a glance at Sam. Her voice went soft as she finished, "…more than friends. She was so…I can't explain it. I was really hurt by George, but Erica being there just made it easier, you know. It didn't hurt as much when I was with her and slowly, I just stopped thinking about George altogether and there was just Erica."
She shook her head. "I have to get that back. I messed up. I know that, but I can't…"
She closed her eyes and put her head down. "I saw the two of you and I thought…" She looked at Sam. "Well, you know what I thought. I felt like I was going to drown or something. You see, we broke up, but in my head that was not permanent."
Sam was sitting there, sipping her beer, looking at Callie and trying to figure out how much of Callie's confession was her heart and how much of it was the alcohol.
"Breaking up is usually kind of permanent," offered Sam.
"Yeah, well not for me and Erica. I thought she was just mad, which I get, but I still want to be with her. I just thought we needed space."
Sam signaled to the bartender.
"Can I get a really strong black coffee, cold or lukewarm?" she asked. He looked over at Callie and gave Sam a knowing smile.
"Sure thing."
Sam turned to Callie. "So, you want to get her back? Well, you're not going to do it by getting drunk."
"I'm not drunk. Not too much anyway."
"Yeah, well you're 2/3 of the way there." Sam wished she was at her cousin's. She knew the coffee there would scare anyone sober.
A short while later, a cup of coffee appeared in front of them along with a bottled water. Callie was eying the coffee curiously.
"I need cream."
Sam shook her head. "Just drink. And drink some water too. Erica will be here any minute. Drink fast."
Callie reluctantly began drinking wincing at the taste of the cold coffee.
"Are you gonna help me?"
"I don't know yet. I don't know if you're worth it." But despite the uncertainty behind the statement, she was smiling, which made Callie smile back at her and start drinking faster.
She had downed most of it before Sam asked: "Do you love her?"
"Yes, I do," said Callie, surprising herself at the revelation and at how quickly she had responded. She tried to clarify. "But it's all going too fast for me. I need time to process everything. I've been straight for thirty years and now all of a sudden I can't stop thinking about a woman."
"Do you always make life this complicated?" asked Sam with a slight chuckle. "What's there to process? Either you love her or you don't. Nothing else matters."
"It's not that easy."
"Yes, it is. You just need to accept that it is that easy and if you can't, then don't. Don't chase her if you're not ready."
There was no sound, no breeze, but as if by instinct they both turned as the door opened to reveal Mark and Erica walking in. Mark was searching for Callie. Erica was looking lost. She searched the room, her eyes finding Sam, but before a smile could form, her eyes moved mere inches and settled on the chocolate brown ones attached to the woman sitting next to Sam. She mouthed something that could have been what the fuck and started to walk out, but Mark seemed to be expecting it and grabbed her. Sam and Callie both winced, knowing that Mark had just made a huge mistake. His arm snaked around Erica's waist for a second before she pushed with one hand and punched him with the other.
Mark was a big guy, but he hadn't been expecting the punch or the force behind it and he went down hard. He grabbed his nose instinctively and felt wetness.
"Shit" said Erica as she watched him go down.
Sam had grabbed a towel from the bar and was on one knee in front of Mark in seconds handing it to him. "Here. You alright man?"
"No," he said sounding nasally and petulant.
Callie had gone to Erica. She was hovering, unsure of what to say and afraid that Erica would reject her. Deciding to be brave, she took a deep breath and spoke.
"Erica? Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" She reached for Erica's hand wanting to examine any damage.
"Did I hurt her? She punched me!" yelled Mark from his prone position on the floor.
"Shut up you idiot. You shouldn't have grabbed her," snapped Callie.
Callie had grabbed Erica's hand, surprised that except for some scratches everything seemed to be intact.
Erica had decided to ignore Callie's question because even she admitted it was ridiculous for Callie to be worried about her. She had done the punching. She didn't know how to respond to Callie's touch, so she ignored that too. She turned her attention to Mark.
"What the hell were you doing?" asked Erica.
Mark was looking up at her, but did not answer.
Callie chose that moment to speak. "No damage. God, Erica, where'd you learn to throw a punch?"
Sam got up and walk towards Callie and Erica. She had watched the whole scene unfold, had noted the semi-wild look in Erica's eyes. Erica was feeling trapped, she could tell. They needed to calm things down, get attention away from them. She saw Erica pull her hand out of Callie's grasp slowly, a little too slowly. Her hand looked fine. Sam smirked internally. Guess the lessons had stuck. Erica was looking at her now.
"You're not going to arrest me are you? Because he grabbed me first and he knows he should not have done that!" The last part was directed at Sloan who was struggling to stand up and hold a towel to his nose.
"Hold on there champ, no one's going to arrest you," said Sam holding her hands up in a placating gesture.
"I think my nose is broken." Mark was talking to Callie, but she was pointedly ignoring him and inching closer to Erica again.
"Erica?" said Callie.
"Callie? My nose?" whined Mark.
"Mark there is a hospital not fifty feet from here," she responded clearly irritated with him.
"Oh, I give up. I give the fuck up." He walked out the door.
Sam was shaking her head. She watched him walk out. She didn't know who he was, but it was clear that there was unresolved tension between the three of them.
"Shouldn't we make sure he's okay?" she said.
"No!" she heard in stereo from both Erica and Callie.
Yep, definitely tension. Sam shook her head again before addressing the two women.
"Okay, can we get out of here? I know this great little club with great food."
Erica definitely wanted to go. She wanted to forget this evening, the whole day, the whole month, the whole damn year.
"Yeah, let's go," she said as she walked out the door.
Sam turned around and motioned for Callie to join them. Callie did not need to be told twice.
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