Chapter 3
Falling…
This was the part of my life where I wanted to fucking kill someone. I've always killed for no reason. I've even killed for reasons that meant nothing to me.
This was the first I wanted to kill.
This all started because we had heard Deidara moaning from the kitchen and thought Itachi was out. We figured he was finally jacking off. So, they sent me to check. I finally got up to go check and this is what I got; two half naked boys, intertwined on a bed.
I stared at them. They stared back. Itachi and Deidara were tangled up on the bed shirtless. Deidara was underneath of Itachi, with his hands in the pushing away stance. He looked angry. Itachi looked angry, but at me. He wanted this fuck and he didn't care.
I stared blankly. I turned and walked down the hall. I was a coward.
***
I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at my placid expression in the parts of the mirror that still existed. It was the most illogical thing for me to do. Breaking stuff won't change the act going on upstairs. My red hair was ragged and my eyes were dull.
The water was running but I hadn't cleaned up yet. My blood slipped down the drain off the splattered chunks of glass. My blood was dripping off the remnants of the mirror and onto the white sink.
Leaving the water running, I slipped into my room. The pounding of the bed upstairs and the moaning was even louder. I couldn't escape it. The walls were spinning, although I tried with my hands to keep them still. Blood flung off my knuckles and splattered to the floor. I fell to my knees, whispers screaming, voices crying.
My head was a danger zone I wished to be free of. I was falling here and although I didn't want to be, I was. My head hit the floor and I heard water spill over the side of the sink. My eyes rolled in my sockets as I cried out for relief, so many thoughts. Thoughts that were to be banished on any normal time flitted through my mind.
Crawl little Nagato crawl.
You can't escape what I've created for you.
Fucking bothers you, doesn't it Nagato?
You can cry with me brother but I can't protect you from something that is too large for me.
My own pathetic memories fell down on me screeching with the release of the chains, smashing down on me with force unconceivable to mankind. I had tied them up with wrought iron force and now they'd come loose. And who could I blame!? That fucking Uchiha, that's who! Balzy fuckup.
Don't be such a fuckup, Nagato.
Mom stop, you're drunk, leave Nagato alone.
CRY PAIN BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING AND NOONE ELSE TO CRY TO OR FOR.
Let's show the world some Pain.
Nagato, is it? What a cute name.
Mooooom, Nagato ate the Tylenol again!! Help!!
NAGATO!
Nagato.
Nagato?
Nagato?!
"Nagato!"
Peace is right before me eyes.
I opened my eyes. Konan was above me with tears in her eyes. "Nagato!"
I sat up too quickly and wobbled slightly. I looked up at my beautiful angel. Her blue hair cascaded over her shoulders, unbound and free but her eyes were tight and worried.
I looked down at the floor, and no wonder she was so worried. Cryptic words, had I smeared onto the floor in my own blood. I cursed the fuckers upstairs to the everlasting fiery pits of Hades, but that wouldn't change the fact that they were having sex.
I got to my feet and almost fell back down. Konan caught me in her gentle arms. I leaned against her for support and willed the moisture forming in my eyes to evaporate. I took a deep breath and steadied myself.
This was ridiculous. To get so fucked up over some little shit! Fuck it. I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to deal with Angel. I just slipped away into the shadows of my basement. Weeks passed.
Have condemned myself??