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Hotch's physical wound is stitched up, but the emotional ones are still bleeding.
Rossi sighed and once again looked his former protégée straight in the eye; "I think we need to talk, don't you?"
Aaron sighs, knowing there is no escape this time; he knows that no matter what, Dave will continue to probe for the answers he seems to be seeking for so desperately. Aaron knows he has been slightly out of character these past few weeks, he is aware that the team is aware, but he cannot seem to find the strength or energy necessary to hide away his emotions this time.
He doesn't really know how to talk about what is bothering him, there is too much and yet not one specific, easily identifiable incident. He sighs deeply again. "Can it at least wait until the doctors have stitched up my arm? Please!" he implores his old friend, hoping that by then the pain will be duller and he will be better able to focus on the matter at hand.
Dave initially worries that Aaron is simply trying to avoid him again but the quiet, almost desperate 'please' seems to countermand that and it is his undoing; the pain in his friend's eyes is unmistakeable and so Rossi nods his head with a small, understanding smile.
Aaron returns the nod with gratitude and sinks further down into the gurney and closes his eyes once again in a desperate bid to compose himself.
The ER is having a relatively quiet evening; people at the nearby nurses' station are chatting away about the latest hospital gossip and doctors and nurses alike are attempting to finish overdue paperwork so that they can finish their shift on time.
It was over two hours ago that the ambulance carrying two exhausted FBI agents pulled up outside.
It was over one hour ago that the wound in SSA Hotchner's arm was cleansed, stitched and bound.
It was over forty-five ago that Agent Hotchner had made his feeling about a sling known.
It was over forty-three minutes ago that Agent Rossi had threatened further bodily harm if Agent Hotchner tried to discard the sling.
And it was just over ten minutes ago that the doctor had left, off to gather paperwork and prescriptions.
Aaron and Dave are sitting side by side on a hospital bed in a curtained-off cubicle; with the fatigue of the case catching up to the both of them and the pain-killers pulsating through Hotch's system, the silence is understandable and more than welcome.
"You doing ok, Aaron?" Rossi asks quietly.
His only reply is a sleepy "Mmm" coming from beside him.
As soon as the remaining paperwork is completed and they receive the prescription for pain-killers (which Rossi knows Hotch will try to avoid taking) and antibiotics (which Rossi will force-feed Hotch if he even thinks about trying to avoid taking). He has called the rest of the team, who should be sleeping soundly in their hotel beds, and lets them know that their boss is ok, and that the two of them will be heading over to the hotel to get some sleep for themselves.
They step out of the hospital with a mumbled 'Thank God' from Hotch and a small smile from Dave. Rossi stands closely beside his protégé without touching; he knows that Aaron will not appreciate being treated like an invalid but Rossi isn't prepared to take the risk of him falling and further hurting himself.
Hotch realises that he is still a little woozy from the blood-loss and a healthy dose of pain-killers as he stumbles into the cab; he appreciates the fact that Rossi is trying his hardest not to be too over-solicitous.
The ride to the hotel is quiet and the exhaustion, blood-loss and pain-killers mean that Hotch is barely aware of anything. Rossi is easily able to lead him to the twin room he and Aaron are sharing, place him on the bed and remove his shoes, (the jacket and tie having being removed at the hospital), before pulling the blanket over him. Aaron looks a lot younger in his sleep; the missing suit, the bed-head hair, the face lacking its usual stern countenance and the body that is completely relaxed all seem to take years off.
A gentle knock at the door pulls Dave from his silent musings. JJ and Prentiss are standing outside, trying to crane their necks around the older man and peer in. "Is he ok?" they both whisper, wanting to see Hotch for themselves and make sure their boss is indeed ok.
Dave immediately understands what they need and that they may well face a restless night if they don't get to see Hotch for themselves; he opens the door wide and gestures towards their boss and friend who is sleeping soundly, completely untroubled.
JJ and Prentiss smile and nod their thanks to Dave before leaving for the comfort of their own beds.
Whilst getting ready for bed, Dave once again hears a knock at his hotel bedroom door; he smiles and shakes his head in amusement, knowing exactly who will be on the other side.
He opens the door wide and once again gestures to Hotch before raising an eyebrow at the two figures in the hallway. Morgan and Reid look rather sheepish, but they are reassured by seeing for themselves that their boss sleeping comfortably. They smile their thanks to Rossi and return to their own beds without another word.
"Thank God" mumbles Dave quietly. He looks over at Aaron and smiles, "you may be the boss Aaron, but your team is full of pushy mother-hens."
There is a faint ray of light shining across his pillow right into his eyes. He scrunches his eyes shut tighter and rolls over onto his side to avoid the sun-beam.
Mistake!
"Fuck, shit!" The pain is burning up, down and around his right shoulder. The memories of the day before rush back to Hotch but a quick, assessing glance at the wound tells him that no stitches have been torn.
The litany of swearwords from the bed next to him awakens Agent Rossi with a start. He looks over at his friend and sees the pain etched firmly into Aaron's expression. Dave silently gets up, grabs a bottle of water from the mini-bar and pours the correct dosage of pain-killers and antibiotics into his palm. He hands them to Aaron, who takes them without protestation; 'pain must be pretty bad' thinks Rossi.
"Thanks" mumbles Hotch quietly. The pair sit in silence for almost half an hour, waiting for the pills to fully set in and for Aaron's breathing and self-control to return to normal. Finally Aaron looks over at his former mentor and sighs, "So do you want to start the Great Inquisition now, or after some coffee?"
Dave smiles, "Coffee and breakfast always come first!" It is early, just past six in the morning, but he knows that room service is available for the early risers.
They are sitting at a small table in their hotel room, the smell of coffee permeating the air, their plates empty save for crumbs from their quickly devoured croissants.
Hotch is almost hugging his coffee mug, staring down at the table and avoiding eye contact.
Rossi notices his obvious reluctance but knows that he has to try and help his friend. He is blunt, direct and brave enough to call Aaron out on his bullshit; just what is needed right now. "So, you want to tell me what's been bothering you?"
Aaron sighs; 'here we go' he thinks. "Nothing, I'm just tired," he replies outloud, trying to delay the inevitable.
"Bullshit! You were the one who told me that 'we function as a team'; how can we do that if you constantly put yourself on the outside of the team?"
"I was talking about working a case, this isn't a case…it's personal." He tries to reason with Dave in a last ditch effort to avoid opening up.
"Whatever it is, it's affecting the team, Aaron, because it's affecting you. We give a damn, is that so bad?"
Aaron sighs; wasn't it only the other day that he wished his team saw more of him…what an idiot! He knows Rossi isn't going to go away, knows the team will never stop profiling him if he attempts to ignore it all.
He likes Rossi, respects him, and had missed him all those years when Dave was off writing and doing book tours. They have known each over ten years, friends for most of that time. He knows there is no-one he would rather talk to, he just hopes Dave won't think any less of him at the end of it all.
"It's just…" he begins, unsure of where to start. "I don't know…it all just feels too much right now!"
"What do you mean?" Rossi asks quietly, gently placing a supportive hand on Aaron's uninjured shoulder.
"I love this job, it's who I am. I love knowing that we catch some of the worst people out there and stop them from fulfilling their sick fantasies. We may see the worst side of humanity but we can do something about it; we can stop it! And I know we don't always succeed but we do it enough to know that we make a difference...a real difference!
"Recently however…I don't know, maybe it's just been a bad streak, but these past few cases have been particularly horrific, and it's getting to me more than it should, more than it did. Maybe Gideon was right." Hotch ends his uncharacteristic rush of words quietly.
Dave already worries about where this conversation is going. "Maybe Gideon was right about what exactly?" he asks firmly, unsure of whether he really wants to know the answer.
Aaron looks Dave straight in the eye, and Rossi is shocked by the despondency he sees there. "Maybe he was right to leave, to try and…rediscover his faith in humanity that this job steals away, bit by bit." Hotch looks back down at the table.
"Aaron" Dave demands quietly, "have you been thinking about leaving the BAU?" The idea seems foreign to Rossi; Hotch is the BAU.
Aaron doesn't answer, but his silence says it all.
There you go…what do you think?
More to come soon – we find out about all the stuff that has been bothering Hotch, and Rossi blows up over Gideon.