Castiel stood vigil, as he did most days, watching Dean. A humorless laugh escaped him, and for a brief moment he felt the concern of his brethren before it was masked. He still thought in the linear terms of Earth, as if each moment spent in Heaven wasn't days flying by on Earth. He thought it was divine before his year spent below. The idea that time was endless in Heaven, that there was no start or end to a day, no passing of a week, and certainly nothing as concrete as a month. He watched his human as days passed on Earth and Dean easily, if not a bit slowly, fell into the routine of hunting again. His Dean was growing stronger by the day and Castiel's heart swelled with pride.

A nagging flash of worry skirted through his thoughts and he knew that at least one of his brother's had caught that last emotion. Truly Castiel felt loved knowing that his brethren worried so deeply about him but it was becoming tiresome the stares and whispers that seemed to follow him. He knew it was his own fault, staring down at Earth as if he wished desperately to join Dean there. He'd heard it on the edges of their minds for months now. If Castiel decided to fall could they catch him? If he went to rip his grace from himself would they be there in time to keep him from doing so? He wanted to tell them that they worried for no reason. Castiel would not dare fall to Earth; Dean was liable to kill Castiel if he did, and he was not prepared to be the guinea pig that discovered whether or not angel's could return to Heaven once they had fallen.

He could not tell them that their concerns were for nothing because he feared that they would also discover the secret that Castiel had so desperately worked at keeping away from them. He knew that the more he hid his thoughts from them the more their worry grew but they could not find out his deepest desire. Every moment that passed in Heaven brought Dean closer and closer to coming home to Castiel; he thought of the day, often, that he would be called by Raphael to retrieve Dean's soul and bring it to Heaven. He also thought of the looks and whispers he would receive after they discovered that selfish day dream.

"Castiel," Ezekiel stood next to him gazing silently at the vastness of Heaven, "this is killing you."

"I am fine," he barely glanced at his brother. Between Ezekiel and Helez Castiel could not take much more of their concern. "I worry about him," it wasn't a complete lie.

"We worry about you brother," Ezekiel put a hand on Castiel's shoulder, "please take care of yourself."

Castiel scoffed and only felt a twinge of guilt for letting his frustrations show through. "I am an Angel of the Lord, exactly how do I need to take care of myself?" Ezekiel did not offer any insight but finally left Castiel to his thoughts. His brother was the only one brave enough to even allude to the fact that they feared his falling.

If Castiel hadn't already known that his brethren were splitting their worry between him and Azrael he would tell them to stop wasting their time with him. He worried about the young angel that had returned from Earth so changed. Tortured at the hand of their sister and he knew that something like nightmares of the ordeal still haunted Azrael but his brother refused to speak about them. Castiel wondered how much Azrael's decision to be the one to kill Sam still affected him, even though he'd been given the time to properly say goodbye to the human he knew that his feelings for Sam had grown tremendously in their short time spent together.

"Castiel," he turned to find Anna next to him, "Michael wishes to speak to you." Her brow was drawn tightly together and he knew that whatever Michael wanted to see him about was not good. Castiel followed her silent as always and ignored her open, smiling eyes. They did not speak often, Anna was consumed with her duties of searching for the traitor. How little they had realized their own was capable of, even with four of the highest ranking archangel's searching for them the traitor always seemed to be a step ahead.

"How is Dean?" Anna was the only one brave enough to ask about Dean, though Castiel suspected that it had nothing to do with bravery at all and everything to do with her love for the young man.

"Fighting well," was always his response and when Anna only had a nod for him he knew that what ever his superiors wanted it was not good. Anna always asked for more information.

Azrael was waiting with Helez and Castiel nodded politely to his brother's greeting. Anna grabbed both Azrael and himself into a tight hug and whispered, "I am sorry," to them before disappearing. Helez also took his leave without a word. Castiel shuddered involuntarily when they finally made it in front of Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, who's face was pinched into a frown of annoyance.

"Hello Brother's," Michael was ever stoic in stance and tone of voice and the annoyance on Raphael's face increased. Castiel suspected that the archangel would like, for once, if Michael allowed emotions to color his person. "It has been brought to our attention that your fellow brethren worry about you." Castiel's stomach rolled, and he had to force a hysterical laugh down. Angel's didn't have stomachs. He already knew where this conversation was going, he had heard the whispers from their brothers. He looked at Azrael and at once felt sadness wash over him; the younger angel was confused and had no idea what was to come. "We believe that it is doing more damage than good allowing you to watch over your respective charges." Raphael had given Michael the barest of glares at 'we,' and it was obvious that their 'united' front was nothing more than a show.

"No," Azrael gasped understanding finally sinking in, "please don't," tears welled in his eyes.

"Azrael Sam's time on Earth will be short, fast and watching from Heaven where time is meaningless is only serving to hurt you." Castiel was surprised when it was Raphael that stepped forward to speak but he could see in the older angel's eyes that it hurt him to point out those truths. And they were, two months had passed on Earth, he'd been keeping track, and already it had felt like eternity in Heaven. Sometimes it was but a distant, cold memory the feel of Dean's hands on his body. Though Castiel disagreed, watching Dean as he grew old and knowing when he'd finally join him would have made eternity seem worth it. Azrael wanted nothing of it and was gone in the blink of an eye. All three angels turned to him and watched him expectantly; he wasn't sure what they wanted from him.

"I will obey your orders," for a moment Castiel was sure that Michael was going to argue that there had been no orders.

"Thank you," he said instead. "Please try and talk to Azrael, we know that it hurts now but we are sure--"

"Stop saying we," Raphael snapped before disappearing. Gabriel smiled apologetically and too took his leave.

"Raphael has disagreed completely for this decision." Michael was weary and for the first time Castiel realized how tired the archangel looked.

Castiel nodded, "I believe this is for the best," he was only starting to realize how much he thought that statement true.

For a brief moment Michael looked relieved, "thank you Castiel. You will try and speak to your brother?" Castiel nodded his head before also taking his leave.

"Dean," he turned at the sound of his name.

"Hey," was already spilling from his lips as he came face-to-face with a beautiful young girl. "What," he backed up a few steps, nearly falling into the lake behind him. "Who are you?"

The teen looked down at herself one eyebrow rose, "interesting."

"Michael, what the hell.."

"You called for me," the angel responded promptly.

"Yeah," Dean had waited for an answer almost the entire night before re-

"This is the safest way for us to communicate." Seriously, it was bad enough that Sam had taken to cutting off his thoughts before he was finished them, let alone saying them aloud.

"Okay. What's with the vessel?" Dean shifted uncomfortable and was so thankful that he'd been having a boring 'by the lake' dream.

"Your subconscious supplies the vessel, not I. You needed to speak to me?" Michael wasn't up for chit-chat apparently and Dean could see that he looked tired, at least that was what he thought. He didn't know if angel's could be tired.

"Ruby said I knew who the traitor was."

"Demon's lie," was Michael's quick response and Dean didn't have to say it it was as plain as day, 'Angel's do too.' Michael actually looked pained for a moment, sadness washed the bright blue eyes dark. "Dean I--" Michael stopped, "my actions have caused more pain then I ever dreamed," his voice was soft, strong and from the vessel she added something else to it that Dean couldn't even name. "But I cannot regret my decisions either. All that I have done was for the safety of everyone, human and angel alike."

Dean could barely breath, Michael stood before him and for a moment he was certain that he saw Michael, the angel. But the moment broke quickly and he knew he had to continue why he'd called for him in the first place. "I believe her."

Michael nodded, "I agree. I fear Dean that the traitor may be closer than anyone realizes." A beautiful girl like that should not be capable of the frown Michael marred her face with.

"You know it's an archangel, right?" Dean had an idea of where they needed to start looking now.

"We are less confident every moment that passes. We find them more elusive and every turn leaves us with less." Michael sighed.

"Who haven't you looked at?" he was being cautious. Dean wasn't sure how his suggestion was going to go over. "What about Raphael, Gabriel and Anna?"

Michael's brow wrinkled in confusion, "but they're-they're.."

"Mike it's someone." Dean had never heard an angel like Michael stumble over his words.

"I'll speak to.. Raguel, she is the only one I am sure I can trust. She wasn't plotting the fall of humanity while going through puberty." Dean laughed and then laughed even harder when he realized that Michael wasn't even aware that he had made a joke.

"Sorry," he sobered quickly when the angel began to look annoyed.

"Can I confide in you Dean?" He had been certain that the angel was leaving but suddenly Michael with the too innocent teenage face was right there again.

"Uh, sure.. but could I," he thought hard about the vessel that Michael had last been in and suddenly there was no more prom queen, "yeah that's better."

Michael also looked pleased to no longer be in the young, female vessel. "Angels are not all-knowing, not like Father or a prophet, but we the archangels have always had a glimpse of what is to come. Since our return to Heaven we have not seen anything of what is to come, no matter how hard we pray or how hard we try nothing comes to us. It is frightening to be so blind."

"What about God, doesn't he have anything for you?" He wasn't sure if there was some sort of protocol about talking about the Big Man.

Michael's head dropped, "it has been too long since my last conversation with my Father. He has been eerily quiet." He looked at Dean then and he saw fear in Michael's eyes. "I think we have angered our Father. I think that he allowed us to have a chance to prove that not only could angel's behave themselves but also be allowed to have some semblance of free will. And we failed."

"No man, I don't.. I don't think you failed. Free will isn't about making the right decision, it's.." Dean trailed off, he hadn't given much thought to these things. "It's about making decisions and living with them even if they turn out to be the wrong ones. Angels aren't going to be any more perfect than humans."

The angel laughed, "I know a few of my brethren who would disagree with that statement." Dean was sure that Michael did, he didn't think the angels had got any less arrogant in the two and a half months since they had returned home. "Thank you Dean, for everything. You are truly a remarkable human, I don't think that I have given you the credit you deserve.. I have learned much from you," it didn't go unnoticed by Dean that it was Michael that had learned from Dean and not 'we.' The angel had a tendency for using plural pronouns, Dean didn't think he spoke often as an indiviual.

"Yeah, uh, thanks," he mumbled suddenly a little embarrassed by the praise.

"I need to return and speak with Raguel." Michael went to leave but Dean had one more thing he needed to ask about.

"How is he?"

It was there and gone too quickly for Dean to be sure but he thought he saw pain in Michael's eyes. "Castiel is strong," Dean didn't say that that didn't answer his question and Michael was gone before he could even ask for elaboration.

When he woke with a start Dean was left with a nagging feeling, and it had nothing to do with Michael's revelations or the fact that he'd deflected on Dean's questioning of Cas. He kept seeing the first vessel that his subconscious had supplied and the nagging feeling wouldn't go away even as he drifted back into a dreamless sleep.

Wow finding time to type is tough right now. It's hard to believe that I type faster than I write considering I have the next two chapters written out and now it's just a matter of finding the time to type them up.