Codename: TABASCO
The Awesome Background
And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin
Prologue
Inspiration On The Lam
She rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head, groaning pitifully… "Go away! I don't have anything for you. You want too much of me!"
I wasn't about to let her get away with that… not that easily… so I pulled the pillow off of her head. She glared at me and closed her eyes back in silence. I sat down on the bed, a bit hard, bouncing her… "I need you. My mind is a black tunnel… with nothing going through it! You're supposed to be there for me when I need you."
"I'm tired."
"Goddesses don't get tired."
"I'm not a goddess."
"Oh, don't split hairs! You're a Muse! Muses are some kind of goddesses… aren't they?"
She rolled over and looked at me. "I'm a Muse, not a slave. You don't seem to have grasped that concept. I have nothing for you. Get used to it!"
I stood up and looked at her, giving her my best b'I-don't-believe-this'/b look, but it flew right over her. If she's one thing, it's consistent…
"I need a vacation."
"Muses don't get vacations! They don't need them!"
She smiled a sort of b'shows-what-you-know'/b smile. "They do if you want inspiration… which I do not have for you… because I have not had a vacation in three years!"
"Why! Why! Why did I have to get a high maintenance Muse?"
She rolled over and swung the pillow over her head again.
"All right! Okay! You want a vacation? Fine! You can have a vacation."
She pulled the pillow off her head and looked at me… "Really?"
"Really. On Antar."
"Antar? That's no vacation! You want me to work!"
"No, no, no, no, no! You can relax, swim in the Golden Sea, hit the clubs, eat in the best restaurants, whatever you want. And you'll get to meet Max, Michael, Kyle, and Alex personally this time… if you want to."
That did seem to pique her interest… "How am I supposed to get there?"
"Just wiggle your nose or whatever it is you Muses do."
She rolled her eyes and sighed. "All right… I guess I could go to Antar. I'm not promising you any inspiration, mind you. But I will try to have a good time."
"Cute! Just remember that you're my Muse. I want something awesome and exciting when you get back."
"I'm a Muse, not a cheap goddess of the night. You need to talk to Bacchus about that. In fact, I'll speak to him for you."
"Oh! Funny! I thought you were all 'inspirationed' out! It looks like your wit is still sharp!"
She jumped out of bed and opened a drawer, pulling out undergarments and lingerie and throwing them into a suitcase. Then she hit the closet, filling another suitcase.
"What are you doing?"
"Packing… It's a long trip!"
"You're a Muse! Muses don't pack!"
"I'm not a guy, in case you haven't noticed. I WON'T wear the same clothes for two weeks!"
"TWO WE-… No, no, no! Not gonna happen! You can't leave me for two weeks! Two days maybe…"
I never actually knew if she heard my objections. She had already snapped her fingers and disappeared, along with two suitcases full of clothes and toiletries and six pairs of shoes…
888888888888888
On the shore of the Golden Sea, Maria closed her eyes and leaned back in the sand, allowing the Antarian sunshine to warm the front of her bikini-clad body and the warm sand to warm her back. "I am so glad we're back on our Antar… on our beach… under our sun… with our kids… all together again. Aren't you, Michael?"
Michael smiled and leaned over to give Maria a passionate kiss on the lips.
"Ahem…"
Maria glanced past Michael at the young woman in the chic wraparound sarong standing behind him. "Can we help you?"
"You can if you're Maria and he's Michael Guerin."
Michael sat up and looked the young woman over suspiciously… "You have us at a disadvantage. You seem to know who we are, but I've never met you."
"Oh you have… sort of… You just don't know it."
"No… I think I would remember it if I had met you," Michael insisted, putting his arm around Maria and pulling her to him, as though to tell this girl… and the world -but most of all Maria- that he was taken, and happily so.
The young lady smiled. "Well, I'm not from Antar… and I need to talk to someone about…"
"Oh! You want our exalted leader!" Michael exclaimed, grinning boyishly, "He's right over there… with Liz. That would be his wife."
The young woman nodded. "I know."
"What's your name?" Maria asked, "I don't remember meeting you either."
"You have… on occasion. But that's not important."
"What are you," Michael asked.
The young woman seemed surprised by Michael's question. "I'm… a Muse."
Michael looked at her, puzzled… "What planet is that?"
"It's not a planet," said Maria, "It's a goddess… you know… of inspiration."
Michael nodded. "Oh, yeah! I heard about them. I didn't think they were real."
"Well, I am."
"Yeah, so I see. How do I know you're what you say you are?"
The young woman snapped her fingers, and two suitcases fell to the beach, one on each side of Michael.
"Wha-! Where did those come from?"
She opened one of the suitcases and propped the lid up to block the sun, then she snapped her fingers again.
"Where did she go?" Michael asked, looking around.
"Right here!"
Michael looked inside the suitcase. The mysterious girl was sitting cross-legged in a yoga position on top of her clothes, shaded by the open top of the suitcase.
"You're… little!" Michael exclaimed, bending over to look at the girl who now was about nine inches tall.
"That's so cool!" Maria gushed. "I wish I could do that! I guess you'd have to be a goddess."
"You should be able to do it just fine then," Michael said, grinning.
Maria smiled and patted Michael on the cheek. "Flattery will get you everywhere… when we're alone. But the kids are right over there… so are Max and Liz. And the others are around here somewhere."
Michael nodded and his lips rose into a one-sided, impish grin… "Yeah, Max might learn a few things."
"I was thinking about the kids… but yeah… he might," Maria agreed, with a wry smile. "We wouldn't want to corrupt him."
"Corrupt who?" Max asked, walking up at that moment with Liz. Right behind them were Isabel, Alex, Kyle, Jeliya, Tess, and Rayylar.
"Nobody," Maria said, grinning guiltily.
"Mom! Dad! Look what I found!"
Maria turned to look at their oldest son, ten-year-old Zorel, who had been wading in the surf. "What is it, Zor?"
"A neat seashell! It's one I haven't seen before. Who's the cute chick?"
Zorel smiled at the little Muse sitting in the suitcase, and she smiled back.
"Zorel, that's not a proper way to talk to… Muses… I don't think… is it," Michael said, admonishing him gently, "Where did you pick up that kind of talk?"
"The Earth channel… on TV."
"It's all right," the Muse said, snapping her fingers and returning to normal size. "At least he thinks I'm cute. The guy I'm supposed to be inspiring wouldn't notice if I were replaced with a lump of mud!"
"Maybe he's gay," Liz suggested.
The young woman snorted then laughed, shaking her head. "No, but I'll tell him you said that. Maybe it'll make him pay more attention to me." She sighed… "But I doubt it."
"Well, what's his problem," Michael asked, "You look very attractive to me."
The Muse smiled, and Zorel nodded enthusiastically. Maria moved a little closer to Michael and tightened her grip on his arm.
"Of course, I'm totally not looking for… you know… a girlfriend or anything like that," Michael hurried to add. "Maria's all the goddess I can handle."
The Muse smiled… Michael glanced at Maria and noticed a smile on her face, too.
"I don't have a girlfriend," Zorel said, grinning widely.
Maria pulled Zorel to her, putting one arm around him as she kept the other arm locked with Michael's arm… "Zorel, you're ten years old. I think you may be just a little young to be thinking about love just yet. Don't you think, Michael?"
Michael smiled at Zorel then abruptly looked at Maria and nodded vigorously. "Um… yeah… oh, yeah… he's… too young." He turned and winked at Zorel, and Zorel smiled.
"How old are you," Maria asked the young woman straight out, though she did smile amiably as she asked.
"Twelve thousand… give or take a few hundred."
"Years?" Kyle gasped.
The Muse nodded. "I'm a Muse."
Maria gave Zorel an 'I-told-you-so' nod. "You're way too young for her."
"I don't mind," Zorel said.
"Well I do," Maria replied, her voice displaying just a hint of aggravation.
Michael laughed and pulled Maria's arm off of Zorel and over to himself. "Don't worry about Zorel. He's just infatuated. It's normal for boys… for girls, too, I hear."
Maria sighed and nodded.
"You're cute," the Muse said, leaning over and kissing Zorel on the cheek, "And sweet, too. But I have a long term commitment to a man who thinks I look like mud."
"Well, that sucks," Zorel said boldly.
The Muse smiled, and Maria's eyes opened wide. "Michael, we really need to start monitoring the Earth channel better."
Michael nodded.
"Just for the record, Zorel," the Muse said with a wink, "You're right. Too bad my 'inspiree' can't seem to see it. All he ever wants is inspiration twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week."
"But isn't that what Muses are supposed to do?" Isabel asked innocently, "Inspire?"
The Muse sighed. "Well, yeah… but, well… he could notice me… just a little bit… once in a while…"
Michael smiled and looked at Maria, and she nodded understandingly. At that moment, seven-year-old Jayyd Guerin walked up and took her mom by the hand. "Hi. Who are you," she asked, looking the young woman over.
"She's a Muse," Zorel said.
"Oh." Jayyd nodded, turning back to the young woman… "Say something funny!"
"Jayyd!" Maria exclaimed.
"Well, Zorel said she's amuse. That means funny in Eluymerian, doesn't it?"
Michael nodded. "She's got a point." He put one hand on Jayyd's shoulder and smiled at her tenderly. "She's a Muse… It's two words. She's like… Shar'meya… in the Frebel-Ish stories."
"Oh! Cool!" Jayyd exclaimed, suddenly seeming very impressed by the young woman in front of her.
The Muse smiled.
"Are you here to 'spire us?" Jayyd asked.
The Muse grinned. "I've done that from time to time… without you knowing it. But I'm mainly here because my evil master, Doctor Crank'n'whine, wants inspiration."
Michael chuckled. "It looks to me like he's got YOU inspired… in a manner of speaking."
The Muse nodded. "He wants me to talk to you guys and find out something about you that no one else knows… something totally radical and… unknown."
"Us? Michael and me?" Maria asked, surprised.
"Well… or Max and Liz or Isabel and Alex or Kyle and Jeliya… or all of you."
"So he sent you all the way from Earth to get a story?" Maria asked.
The Muse nodded.
"Is he like… a pizzarazzi or PapaNazi or whatever those guys are," Michael asked, "The ones always looking for pictures and a wild story?"
The Muse grinned. "Paparazzi. No… actually, he's one of a number of people who still keep you guys alive since you were… abandoned by the big guy."
"God?"
The Muse shook her head and pointed downward.
"You mean… HIM?" Maria asked, horrified.
The Muse nodded. "A TV exec… down on Earth."
Michael shook his head. "That's old news. They could never cancel us from the memories and hearts of the people who love us. As long as they live, so will we. We are alive and kicking, I assure you."
"And nobody is happier about that than I am," the Muse said, looking Michael, then Max, Kyle, and Alex, over wistfully.
"Well… there is one thing you could tell her… about you, Michael," Max suggested hesitantly.
"There's nothing that anyone needs to know about me that isn't already known," Michael replied, shaking his head.
"Sure there is, Michael! There's that stuff about your secret life," Maria urged, "It's okay to tell everybody now. We aren't on Earth anymore. Besides, I think the kids would enjoy hearing it. Just keep it clean!"
"I don't like talking about me, Maria," Michael mumbled insistently, "Can't we talk about Max… or Kyle! Let's tell her something about Kyle!"
"Oh, like there's anything anybody would want to know about Kyle," Alex said dramatically.
"I live by the wisdom of Buddha," Kyle retorted, "They might want to hear some philosophy."
Alex yawned. "Old news, Kyle. Nobody's interested. I want to hear what kind of secret life Michael had that I didn't know about. Now that has promise… knowing Michael."
Kyle shrugged. "Well, like Buddha said… 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.'"
"That was Buddha?" Alex asked, surprised.
Kyle shrugged, "Could have been. Everybody has said it at one time or another. So Michael, what kind of perverted, sick life have you been hiding from the rest of us that I was never told about?"
"Wouldn't you love to know," Michael retorted feistily, "Too bad I'm never going to tell you."
Kyle looked at Michael suspiciously… "Wait a minute… Maria knows, Liz knows… and Max knows? Does anyone else know?"
Michael smiled. "No. And they're never going to. Too bad, Valenti. You're outta luck!"
"Oh wait!" Kyle said, looking like the fox that was about to swallow the rabbit, "I know the perfect story to tell her! Yxtiar!"
Michael looked at Kyle suspiciously. "Maria and I spent some time in the hot springs there. But you weren't there."
Kyle grinned. "No, but I heard something… about you."
Michael's smile disappeared. "What?"
"It had to do with an underwater current in one of the hot springs and your swim trunks… and a ticket for streaking through a tourist area… or something like that."
Michael spun around and looked at Maria with a look of betrayal.
"I… I didn't… I swear, Michael! I don't know how he found out! I would never…"
"What do you want, Kyle?" Michael asked, though the question came with an implied and understood threat. Michael WOULD –absolutely WOULD- dig up something on Kyle to get him back with. It was not a matter of if but when.
"I want to hear about your so-called secret life… the one only Maria, Liz, and Max know about."
"And you'll never mention the Yxtiar thing again?"
"Cross my heart."
Michael looked at Kyle for a long time, until Kyle began to wonder if he had made a mistake. Maybe Michael had some kind of X-ray eyes like Superman and he was burning a hole in him as they stood there. Kyle checked his shirt. No smoke… no holes… at least so far.
"Okay," Michael said unexpectedly. "I'll tell. Like Max said, we're not on Earth anymore. I guess it can't hurt for you guys to hear it now."
"Awesome!" Zorel said, plopping down on the sand beside his friends, Danyy Valenti and Alyyx Evans. Maya, JoLeesa, Andya, Jayyd, Kryys, Mareeya, Ceelya, Jiba, Drel, and the other children joined them. The adults sat down on the sand to listen, too, along with the Muse.
Michael took a big breath and shook his head. He really did not like talking about himself. He would much rather be talking about Kyle… if he had anything to tell. And he would… sooner or later…
End of Prologue
tbc…