LOVE
SIX
The planet shocked the bejeezus out of Jack Harkness; there was no other way to put it. Miri was a depressing, destitute and impoverished world. Far closer in both form and feature to the fifteenth century than the fifty-first. On the squalid streets the teeming clusters of inhabitants looked for all the world like peasants and the place stank to high hell – the stench of old sweat and unwashed clothes made the Captain want to retch. He shivered slightly, despite the oppressive humidity-laden heat.
"Doctor?"
"What is it, Jack?"
"What is this place?"
The Doctor stopped and looked around almost vapidly. "This is the planet Miri, known to some as Miwoc, in the galaxy known by its denizens as Huw, but identified on Earth by the catalog number…"
Jack's eyes flashed as he rounded on the other man, index finger stabbing accusingly at the Time Lord's chest, "No Doctor! I mean what is this place?"
"The name of the city is Ascolan…"
"Doctor!" Jack wrinkled his nose. The "denizens," as the Time Lord had described the city's occupants, had a beastlike ambience to them: matted hair, downcast eyes and damp patches of sweat the size of dinner plates spreading under the arms and down the backs of their ragged tunics. There was raw sewage oozing in the streets and a block or two off in the distance the Captain observed what probably stood for the place's version of a domesticated canine, although larger than most terran dogs, defecating on the ground in front of a ramshackle storefront.
"Is there a problem, Captain?"
"You're telling me that doctor lives here?"
"This is where he has taken up residence. Again, is there a problem?"
"B-But Doctor… what the hell is going on?" Jack waved his hand through the air. "This looks like the freaking Middle Ages!"
"Jack, I'm sure I don't have to remind you that the vast majority of sentient beings in this universe do not live on technologically advanced worlds."
"But you called him cutting-edge. That's a direct quote! What's a cutting-edge physician doing here?"
The Doctor shrugged, "I told you: he is eccentric. This is where he's decided to set up his practice. Goodness, Jack, one might wonder how you survived nineteenth century Earth."
The Captain glared at the Time Lord, "Oh, I managed to survive it just fine, thank you very much. I kept myself busy while…"
"Oh right! Don't let me forget. You kept yourself busy fighting wars…"
"Can I help it if warfare was and still is commonplace on Earth? I did what comes naturally to me, and being in the military fits me like a glove, Doctor. It's one of the things I do best. Besides, I look good in uniform." The Captain scowled. "I'm not a ashamed of it – the Ten Years' War, the Spanish-American War, the Mexican Revolution, World War One, the Spanish Civil War, World War Two… I always chose the right side of the conflict. I only wish I could've made it in time for the American Civil War…"
"Brother against brother," the Time Lord hissed. "Bloody conflagration."
"A war against the expansion of slavery, Doctor."
"Are you telling me there are good wars?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
The Doctor shook his head sadly. "Six hundred and twenty thousand soldier deaths. Untold civilian deaths. Entire cities burned to the ground."
"And the abolition of slavery."
'You're a dreamer, Jack, if you think that war ended slavery on the Earth."
The Captain's expression turned thoughtful; arguing with The Doctor was often – almost always – fun, but there was a limit to its entertainment value. Beyond that, the Time Lord had a valid point. "No, I know you're right, of course. Nor was the emancipation of the slaves in the United States a silver bullet. Racial inequality…" he shook his head. "It's never stopped being a problem."
"It's not a bad thing to be a dreamer, Jack."
"Well it takes one to know one."
"Hmm?"
"Gray did have one part of it right."
The Doctor's face darkened, "What do you mean by that?"
"Eh? Oh no! Don't get me wrong! I mean when he called you quixotic." The Captain smiled. "And you can't deny it – you are Don Quixote: saving damsels in distress, fighting ferocious giants and carrying out other chivalrous quests…" Jack's eyes sparkled, "And that leaves me… what? Who? Sancho Panza? Well, I guess I'll take that. I'd rather be Sancho than Rocinante! Although maybe Dulcinea…"
The Doctor chuckled, "Is the man of La Mancha really who you think I am?"
"On this day, in this place, at this very moment, it seems to work for me."
"Ah, Jack. I suppose that will do, although if you're implying I'm deluded or insane…"
"Hah! No, I'm not implying you're deluded. What I'm saying is that in my book you are the epitome of brave and selfless chivalry. Your actions are heroic, your spirit sublime and you champion an intellectual and moral world. If there are windmills to be fought, you are the one I'd want at my side."
"Laying it on a bit thick here…"
"You are also, however, crazy like a fox, Doctor."
"I wouldn't be nearly as much fun if I were entirely sane… that reminds me."
"Yes?"
"Call me Thete."
"Huh?"
"You heard me, don't call me Doctor. Call me Thete."
"Erm… and why?"
"Recall who we're going to go see? Having two doctors in the house is simply inviting confusion. I prefer to avoid that. Call it preventive maintenance."
"But… Thete?"
"Yes. It's short for Theta Sigma."
"Theta Sigma?"
"My old college nickname."
"You went to college?"
"Yes, of course I did. The Prydon Academy, Captain. Didn't you?"
"Didn't I what?"
"Go to college?"
"Um, well, a couple of times. I tried. I never got my degree though; it always seemed something got in the way of my finishing."
"Something like a war?"
"Well, that, among other things… Life, love, happiness, travel…"
"Hmm. I see. We might have to remedy that some day."
"Oh no, not me. Not this boy. My school days are over. Finished. Finito. Final exams? Laboratory exercises? Writing papers? Staying up late studying instead of… well… instead of doing other far more interesting or enjoyable things? Please, Doctor! Spare me! Yuck!"
"Education makes the man," Jack.
The Captain scoffed. "But as our good friend Albert Einstein said: It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."
"Nine tenths of education is encouragement…"
"Would you stop that?" the Captain paused briefly but then added, "Thete, huh?"
"Yes, and best if you don't mention I'm a Time Lord."
"Whoa! Okay, Doctor. Er, I mean Thete." Jack raised an eyebrow. "Theta Sigma? The likelihood function? Followed by the summation character? Hmm… the True Totality? Curious. Kinda kinky! Anything else you need to tell me?"
"No, well… say nothing about Gallifrey either, but I presume that is implied in the previous statement about my not being a Time Lord."
Jack nodded solemnly.
"Uh, Jack?"
"Yes Thete?"
"While what?"
"Huh?"
"You were saying you kept yourself busy while…"
"Damn, there's that attention surplus disorder of yours again."
"While…?"
"The answer to that question never changes, Doctor… While I was waiting for you, of course."
-00-
"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great."
Roger de Bussy-Rabutin