Codename: TABASCO
(The Awesome Background And Secret Chronicles Of Michael Guerin)
Episode 102
Cherry Cola Isn't The Only Thing That's Sweet (Leaving Normal)
He's the guy.
Max Evans?
Yeah. He's the one.
The CrashDown had been invaded… not by aliens but by orthodontists attending an orthodontists' convention, and Liz had spent most of the evening smiling on demand. Max stayed with her until the CrashDown closed; then they said their goodbyes and Max walked across the street, where he was confronted by a group of jocks who were lying in wait for him.
What's going on, guys?
Evans, right?
Yeah.
Stay away from her.
Who?
The answer came from a barrage of fists that left Max bleeding from a cut over his eye and left bruises on other parts of his face. I knew what had happened as soon as I saw him…
I'm going to kill them.
Michael… No! Michael, listen to me. This is bad. Kyle does something to us. We do something back to him. This kind of thing gets all over school, all over town. Rumors start flying. The whole thing about what I did to Liz starts coming up again. We get exposed.
That's exactly what I'm saying. We go and we shut up those guys right now.
Michael, we have to stick together now… more than ever before. We have to go back into our shells. We can't do anything to those guys. I have to stay away from Liz.
That wasn't what I wanted to hear from Max. Okay, I agreed that it had the potential to get out of hand. I just didn't agree about what we should do to avoid the trouble… or maybe I should say, what we should NOT do. Back at school the next day, I "accidentally" bumped one of the jocks on the stairs.
Hey, watch where you're going.
Dude, I'm sorry.
(Yeah, sorry I didn't do it sooner.) I smiled to myself and walked on. A short time later, I spotted the jock I had touched trying to impress this cheerleader, and he starts scratching inside his shirt and all over as he's talking to her. First thing you know, she's looking at him like he's got fleas… or maybe worse… and her friends are thinking, 'this guy's a dog! Get rid of him! He may be contagious!' I grinned and walked on. Some days, being an alien isn't so sucky. I know, I said I wasn't sure I would ever do anything like back at the rest stop again, but I never said I wouldn't enjoy life. You can't have it and just let them run all over you when you can do something about it. Besides, Max may not agree… okay, he doesn't agree… but the only way to stop these guys is to humble them. If they get away with it, they'll just get bolder and bolder. That puts us in danger. I had to put a stop to it. And I did… without hurting them… so, technically, I did not break my promise to Max, because he only said that we could not hurt them back, not that we couldn't make them itch.
888888888888888
"Miss DeLuca! Come in! I guess you're wondering why Deputy Carson brought you here."
"I swear, Sheriff! I didn't know I was breaking any law. Well, maybe I knew it was wrong, just a little bit, kind of, but what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just ignore something like that. I mean, what would you do, Sheriff? Wouldn't you do something? Omigod, I need my cedar oil. Here it is. This is okay, isn't it? I mean, it's not, like, illegal, or something, is it… 'cause if it is…"
Jim sat back into his chair, his head spinning. "You're not under arrest, Miss DeLuca. Take a deep breath. Slow down. You're giving me a headache."
Maria closed her eyes and waved the vial of cedar oil under her nose.
"You know, Miss DeLuca, you would be a whole lot less nervous if you were just calmer."
Jim thought for a moment then waved his hand dismissively… "Okay, forget I said that. Look, you're not under arrest."
"So this is… not about Hillary Lange?"
"No. Is there something I should know about Hillary Lange?"
"Nothing! Nothing! And if she tells you there is, don't believe her, Sheriff; she lies…"
"Miss DeLuca, please! Sit down and…" Jim ran one hand through his hair. "We'll get to that later… maybe. I brought you here for a different reason. I want to know what you know about… The Avenger."
Maria stared at Valenti for several moments before speaking. "The… Avenger?"
"Yes."
Maria shook her head. "Well, he was some kind of comic book superhero or something… wasn't he? Or was it a Mafia movie… I don't know, I never saw it."
Valenti took a deep breath. "It's a guy, Miss DeLuca… a guy who calls himself 'The Avenger…' here in Roswell."
"Why would I know?"
"That's what I want to find out. I have very good reason to believe that you're his… accomplice."
Maria's mouth dropped open, and she fumbled for her cedar oil again. As she fumbled in her purse, she noticed her cell phone and pulled it out… "I need to make a call."
Jim sighed and nodded.
Maria dialed, then someone answered on the other end.
"Liz! Omigod! Liz! I need you! I'm going to jail!"
Maria? Slow down! What happened?
"The sheriff brought me down to the police station; I mean, a deputy did. They think I'm an accomplice. I'm being arrested."
Maria, slow… look, do you have an attorney?
"No… Oh God, do I need one?"
Maria, don't say another word until I get there… and not until you have an attorney present. What did you do? No! Don't tell me! I'll… I'll be right there.
"Liz, would you let Mom know… please?"
Yeah, I'll… I'll tell her. Just relax, Maria. Don't say another thing until we get there.
Jim sighed. "This really isn't necessary, Miss DeLuca. You're not under arrest. I just need some information."
"I'm sorry, Sheriff. I can't talk until I have my lawyer."
"And… who would that be?"
"I don't know… Liz? Can she be my lawyer? She's the smartest person I know."
Valenti smiled. "I can't deny that, but I'm afraid she'd have to go to law school and then pass a bar exam to be your attorney. I don't think you have time to wait."
Maria moaned. "I'm going to jail! I knew it! I'm going to jail!"
"You're not going to jail… unless you've committed a crime. Have you committed a crime?"
"But you said I was an accomplice. I'm going to jail, I know it…"
Ten minutes after Maria placed her frantic call, the door burst open and Amy DeLuca stormed in, followed closely by Philip Evans and Liz.
"Jim, what's the meaning of this? What the hell are you doing arresting my daughter? You'd better have a damn good reason!"
Jim jumped and put both hands up in surrender. "Amy! Amy! Calm down! She's not under arrest. I just had her brought in for questioning."
"YOU'RE INTERROGATING MY LITTLE GIRL?"
"It's not an interrogation, Amy! Calm down! I'm just looking for some information. You're overreacting."
Before Jim saw it coming, Amy had whacked him over the head. It was probably fortunate that her purse was of the smaller variety, only a small retro hemp bag, and she had recently removed most of the heavier items from it. "I'M OVERREACTING? I'M OVERREACTING?"
"Ow! Amy, please! Just… sit down. I promise I'll explain this. Philip, help me out here!"
Philip Evans carefully took Amy by the arm and guided her toward a chair, making a point to stay on the side furthest from her bag. "Let me do the talking, Amy. I'll handle it."
"You'd better… for Jim's sake."
Philip sighed. "Jim, what's this all about? I've known you for years and years, and you've never been a rash person. If Maria has done something, I'm sure it's nothing that can't be taken care of. She's a good girl. I can't believe she would do something that would get her thrown in jail."
"She's not under arrest," Jim repeated wearily, for the umpteenth time. "I just needed to ask her some questions."
"She should have been advised that she could have an attorney present, Jim. Did you read her her rights?"
"She's not under arrest! No… I didn't read her her rights. I'm not arresting her."
"But you are interrogating her. She should have been advised of her rights."
"Questioning her… I was just… asking a few questions."
Philip Evans turned to Amy… "Maria's not under arrest."
"Thank you," a very embattled Jim Valenti mouthed gratefully.
Philip Evans looked back at Jim again… "I'll be representing Miss DeLuca. Ask your questions, Sheriff."
"Thank you." Jim turned back to Maria… "Miss DeLuca, what do you know about a man who calls himself The Avenger?"
"I told you, Sheriff… I don't know him at all. I never heard of him… except for the one in the comic books."
Valenti took the swatch of cloth out of his desk drawer and folded it over so that the writing was not visible, then he held it out to Maria…
"What does this smell like to you… Uh, Can I call you Maria?"
"Yeah… sure… it's my name." Maria sniffed the cloth and raised her eyebrows just a bit.
"Cedar oil."
Jim nodded. "That's what I thought, too. So I asked myself… Who, in Roswell, uses cedar oil? And then I remembered that you do."
"I didn't know it was illegal, Sheriff, honest!"
"Cedar oil's not illegal, Sheriff," Liz hastened to point out.
"No, it's not illegal," Jim agreed.
"Get to the point, Jim," Philip said, putting one hand on Maria's shoulder to show his support for her. "Cedar oil is not a drug. It's not illegal. So what's the problem?"
Jim opened his drawer and put the swatch of cloth back. "The problem, Philip, is that that cloth was once a T-shirt. The lab confirmed it. It contained minor traces of common dirt, cherry cola, hamburger grease, Tabasco, perspiration… and a rather large trace of cedar oil. And that swatch of cloth was found at the sight of… an incident I'm investigating."
"So what, Jim? Anyone can buy cedar oil. Like you said, it's not illegal. What kind of incident?"
"That's not important."
"Well, it is if you're accusing my client of some kind of collaboration in a crime. Are you?"
Valenti thought for a moment then shook his head. "No."
"My client has stated that she knows nothing about this cloth or this person you're looking for. So unless you have anything else, Jim, I suggest you let her go."
"She's not under arrest."
"Well, she was picked up at school… in a squad car," Liz hastened to point out.
"Yeah! You brought her in," Amy added sharply. "She missed class. She wasn't asked if she would mind coming in after school or something."
"That may have been an oversight, Amy. I'm sorry about that."
Amy narrowed her eyes, and for a moment, Jim prepared himself to be whacked again, but it didn't happen.
"Well, okay. But Jim, if you want to ask my daughter any more questions, you come to me. I think we know each other well enough, you and I."
Jim nodded.
Amy motioned to Maria. "Let's go, baby."
Maria looked at Valenti, and he nodded.
After they had left, Jim collapsed into his chair, spent. But only moments later, he looked up to see a teenaged girl standing in his door.
"Can I help you?"
"I want to report a crime."
"Well, this is the place. Let's start with your name."
"Hillary… Hillary Lange."
Jim's eyes opened wide, and a pain shot through his head.
"Hold on a minute, uh… Hillary." Jim grabbed his hat and placed it on his head. "HANSEN! Get in here!"
Hansen rushed to Jim's side. "Yes, sir!"
"Hansen, handle this. I'm going OUT… to patrol."
"Yes sir."
888888888888888
Hansen carefully wrote the girl's name down on the complaint form…
"Lange… L…A…N…G…E."
"Right."
"Okay, tell me what happened, Miss Lange."
"Maria DeLuca stole my class notes… for the exam… right out of my notebook."
"Um, I'm not sure that this is a police matter, Miss Lange. Did you tell the school authorities… or the teacher? That's probably where this should be taken care of."
"She's a thief, Deputy! She needs to be locked up… arrested! Are you going to do something or aren't you!"
"Well, I guess I could make a run over to the school… talk with the proper authorities there. It's not really a police matter."
"Oh puh-leez! She's a thief! You're the cops! Lock her up!"
At that moment, as luck would have it, there was a knock on the door, and Deputy Hansen looked up to see Maria, her mother Amy, and Liz standing there. Philip Evans had gone home.
"I'm sorry, Deputy, but my daughter thinks she left her cedar oil here. Could we just look?"
Maria glanced around the office and gasped, as she happened to notice Hillary… slumped in her chair trying very hard to be invisible. Realizing that Maria knew full well what she was up to, Hillary immediately attempted to assume control of the situation…
"There she is, Deputy. Lock her up. It's your duty."
Deputy Hansen sighed and sat back down. He was beginning to understand why Jim had left in such a hurry.
"Okay… Miss DeLuca, will you please tell me if you took exam notes out of Miss Lange's class notebook?"
"Yes."
"Yes… you took them… or yes you're going to tell me?"
"Yes, I have them."
"Would you please give them back then?"
"No."
Deputy Hansen looked surprised. "If they're her notes, you're going to have to give them back. I wouldn't want to have to arrest you for… well, I don't know what for… insubordination or something… to a deputy. Just give the notes back and we'll all be happy."
"No."
"Maria!" Liz exclaimed.
Maria shook her head. "They're not hers, they're Alex's. Hillary stole them. I saw her slip them out of his notebook while he was getting his lunch, so I slipped them out of hers later and was going to give them back to Alex."
"Is this true, Miss Lange?"
"Of course not! They're my notes. She stole them!"
"Can I see them, Miss DeLuca… please?"
Maria took the notes out of her bag. "Here. They're Alex's. They're not hers."
"They ARE mine!"
"Well, I'll tell you what," Hansen said, "I'll ask Alex if these are his… then, if he says they are, we'll have our handwriting expert decide who's telling the truth… and if you are telling the truth, Miss Lange, I'll lock Miss DeLuca up. But if she is telling the truth, I'll lock you up. Does that sound alright to you?"
There was a long silence, then Hillary coughed nervously. "You know, Deputy, I was thinking about what you said. This probably isn't a police matter actually. You're such a busy man. I wouldn't want you to have to go to all that trouble on my account. There must be a lot of criminals and bad guys and all that you need to find… or something."
"Oh, it's no trouble, Miss Lange."
"Locking you up will be his pleasure," Maria interjected, grinning.
Hillary danced around nervously like she wasn't sure what to do for a few moments. "I'll just… um… you can keep the notes. I'll… make some more. I think I'm going to be late for class." She turned and rushed out the door, leaving Liz and Amy shaking their heads in disbelief.
"I don't think Hillary will be bothering you anymore for a while, Maria," Liz said, laughing, "She looked like she was about to pee herself just now. It's a good thing you saw her take the notes out of Alex's notebook, though. He'll need them to study for the exam. I guess Hillary will have to learn to take her own notes from now own."
Cherry Cola isn't the only thing that's sweet. Sometimes justice is… when you can find it. I figure I just have to help it along a little sometimes. I thought Max would enjoy seeing Kyle struggling to get his locker open after I welded it closed with my hand. After all, he did say that he enjoyed thinking about what I did to those guys that shot Liz. But, no. Max thought I was putting us in danger again by welding Kyle's locker closed.
You're the one who put us in danger when you saved Liz. You're the one who screwed up, Max.
Yeah, and I'd do it again right now.
Let's hope we can trust her.
We can trust her.
Well, I don't trust anyone these days.
Okay, that wasn't totally true. I had made my peace with Liz already. And I did trust her… to an extent. Let's say I believed in her. I believed that she would not intentionally betray us. But it was up to her to show us that we had not misplaced that trust. When I said that I didn't trust anyone these days, that was not totally untrue. Even Liz, who had proven herself, was still not beyond all suspicion. But I did trust her… more than I was ever going to let Max know. Besides, I had to tell Max that he screwed up, even if I didn't think so anymore. It kept things kind of equal between us. You see, Max was still doing his own thing, too. Liz's Grandma Claudia had a stroke, and Max just had to play the hero for Liz and help her say goodbye. The problem is, Grandma Claudia was lying in a bed in a coma… at the very edge of death.
Honeybear.
Grandma!
Liz looked up and saw her Grandma standing there, then she looked back at the bed and saw her still lying in the bed, then she looked back at the figure standing in front of her again.
Grandma Claudia smiled and glanced at Max.
Let me guess… Max.
She made Liz promise to follow her heart… and to trust it, then the monitor flatlined. But she was already gone before that. Max just held time there for a few moments so they could say their goodbyes. We all have to follow our hearts in the end, Max with Liz, Liz with Max, and me with… my search for justice… and protecting them. The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back.
End of Episode 102
tbc…