Author's Note: This chapter is the beginning of their love making. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this chapter. R.M.
Chapter 4: And When They Woke Up
After McCoy left Spock's quarters, finding that both Captain and First Officer were "tucked in" to each other, he decided to check in with the Bridge before getting that drink. Lt. Sulu was in temporary command.
"Lieutenant, I have put both Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock on medical leave for 24 hours. I believe that leaves you in command. What is our ETA into space dock?"
"We should be arriving within the hour, Doctor," replied Sulu.
"Okay, then. Do we have to vacate the ship upon the completion of docking?"
"Not necessarily, sir. Is there a reason for your inquiry?"
"Yes, Lieutenant. I believe it's in the best interest of our Vulcan passengers and the crew to be given some leeway as to when they choose to disembark. This has been a stressful time for everyone and I think a premature return to Earth is not in their best interests. I'd like everyone to make their own decision as to when to go ashore. Is that possible?" inquired Dr. McCoy.
"I'll put in your request to Command, Doctor. I'll inform you as soon as I get a response."
* * * * * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, several hours later in the First Officer's quarters, Spock and Jim were still asleep in the same position as when we left them earlier. Spock had his arms wrapped around his Captain, while Jim rested his head against Spock's right shoulder. Their heads were still touching; with Spock resting his forehead on the top of Jim's golden locks.
Jim began to stir first, while still dreaming. He was dreaming of a red sky, and a very hot day climbing hills covered in terra cotta sand with sharp, jagged cliffs in the distance. His dream shifted when he became aware that he was wrapped in something pleasantly warm and sighed contentedly. He wiggled his shoulders to try and get more of him covered in what he assumed was a warm blanket. He nudged his head against something heavy, like a cat rubbing against another cat in a companionable way. Sighing once more, he drifted back to a deeper dream state
Sensing movement, Spock began to awaken. He had been dreaming of a fishing hole by a shady tree under a blue sky laced with gray clouds that promised rain. He was quite surprised by the subject matter of his dream. 'Curious', he thought. He then noted a heavy but not unpleasant weight against his right shoulder and side. Looking down, he beheld his golden haired bedmate, blissfully asleep in his arms. The sheer trust and peacefulness expressed in Jim's relaxed state communicated itself to the very proper Vulcan. He decided to indulge his human side at this moment by wrapping his arms tighter around his Captain's broad square shoulders. The response was worth it, he decided, as Jim curled into Spock's arms and body even more, as if it was possible to get any closer than they already were. Spock decided not to pursue that thought to its logical conclusion.
Spock turned towards his computer to see if there was a light flashing indicating he was needed. Thankfully, the computer was still. Spock gratefully turned back to focus his attention on Jim. He returned to thoughts of the meld he had used that had enabled Jim to fall into a peaceful sleep. Jim had been so overtired and so stressed out that he had truly experienced an emotional melt down. Dr. McCoy was able to alleviate some of his distress by taking Jim into his arms in such a tender way that Jim had been able to release some of his overwrought feelings through a great deal of sobbing. Spock had felt uncomfortable witnessing such an intimate moment while at the same time understanding that such a release was advantageous for humans to regain control over their emotions. In some part of his mind he illogically wished that he had the courage to be able to release his own feelings this way. After all, his mother was human, and she would approve of his expressing his grief for her in such a manner. He would think more about this later when he had time to meditate in private.
But now he wanted to analyze in more detail what he had found in the meld. He had expected Jim to resist such an invasion into his conscious mind. He was totally unprepared for what actually had happened. Spock had just reached the first level of Jim's conscious thought processes when to his surprise Jim had quickly recognized Spock and moved towards him in a totally open way. Jim had even tried to wrap his own essence around Spock's. How was it possible for Jim to do this? How could any human accept what most would see as alien, strange and possibly even threatening? Spock had been careful to be gentle in his approach but still, this was unprecedented. Not that he had ever melded with another human. He had communicated on a non-verbal basis with Uhura, but never initiated a true meld. It was as if Jim had already connected with Spock in such a manner before. Spock came to the logical although unlikely conclusion that this was not Jim's first Vulcan mind meld. That thought quickly led to the other piece of the puzzle, the Vulcan ship. Its computer recognized him. It did identify him as 'Ambassador' Spock though, which was quite a promotion. The computer had supplied him with a date of when the ship had been built that added to the mystery. How did this all tie in? Jim apparently knew more about events than he had shared with Spock. Why he was not forthcoming? He definitely had to learn all he could about what had transpired. But for now he wanted to return to the more interesting thoughts of Jim's response to him in the meld.
Spock had to admit that he too felt a kinship with Jim, a startling recognition that Jim's essence was completely in harmony with his own. Spock had never been shown such complete acceptance before. His lonely soul could not help but respond to such an open invitation to join with another. The meld had been surprisingly brief. Spock had achieved the desired effect very quickly. Jim accepted Spock's implanted suggestion that Jim was tired and that it was safe for him to fall asleep. He found himself commending Jim for his actions in the crisis. This understanding of Jim had astonished Spock, but somehow, like McCoy, he knew that this would comfort Jim and allow him to rest better.
Spock then turned outward to the amazement of holding this intriguing, frustrating, utterly exasperating, and admittedly gorgeous, human male in his arms. Spock was not aware that he was projecting these various observations to the subject of his contemplation. But Jim, sensitive male that he was, although he tried to hide it, did long to be appreciated, andwas touched. He reacted by opening his incredibly vivid blue eyes and looking lovingly up at the being who held him. He smiled with total warmth and sincerity. Spock looked into those sky blue orbs, and saw the openness and honest emotion radiating there. He then looked down at the sensuous lips that expressed the same honest warmth as Jim's eyes and read an invitation which Spock could not refuse. Very slowly, (oh there really should be violins playing at this moment) and very deliberately, Jim moved his head and especially those soft lush lips up towards its intended target. Spock, a very quick study it turned out, mirrored the movement by aligning his equally tempting bow shaped mouth with Jim's and contact was achieved. It was the most delicious kiss, tender, gentle, soothing, and ultimately, because it was all those things, incredibly erotic as well. As the kiss deepened, Spock's left hand found its way to Jim's right check. Jim sighed deeply while continuing this amazingly enjoyable kiss. His warm breath released against Spock's lips, exuded a scent that Spock found very enticing. It triggered a hunger he had not realized lived within him. His gentle ministrations against Jim's lips also brought out some very deep emotions in Jim as well. They were two emotionally starved beings born millions of miles apart who somehow miraculously found each other at this very tragic moment in both their lives.
This deep tenderness could not last long however. Such melting of two hearts had to instinctively move in one of two possible directions. Either one of them could realize that such strong emotions were terrifying and possibly illogical and withdraw; or, they could go the more courageous route… And since we all know that Jim loves to jump in where others might fear to, he not surprisingly responded by becoming totally and unequivocally aroused. (Thrusters on full indeed!) As for Spock, time would tell.
"Spock," he sighed in his most persuasive tone, conveying all his heartfelt longing for more with this sexy olive toned pointy-eared bastard.
Not for the first time, Spock heard the unspoken words and replied aloud, "I am not a bastard." This was challenging as their mouths were still joined in the ultimate lip lock.
"I stand corrected, but you are sexy," Jim whispered back throatily into Spock's mouth.
Jim, however, would not be deterred by this witty repartee. He was now so turned on that he started to rise up to wrap his own very strong and capable arms around Spock's shoulders and neck, when you guessed it, Jim moaned in pain. Damn those cracked ribs and other assorted muscle aches.
Spock immediately took charge by separating his mouth from Jim's and gently pulling Jim's arms from around his neck. He admonished Jim with a dark look. But Jim was not to be swayed by pain. Pain only seemed to make him push harder at whatever he was doing. Spock sensed this character flaw in Jim. "Jim, you will desist or I will have to call Dr. McCoy if that is the only way you will stay still." This was not the first time he had threatened to call McCoy if Jim did not behave.
"Spoooooccck," Jim drew out in total exasperation. "I want you, and if I'm not mistaken, you want me too," Jim continued, hoping he was persuasive enough.
"You are injured, and that must be our first consideration. You are totally illogical in that you completely ignore your own physical suffering", Spock expounded.
"Don't be insulting Spock. I'm not illogical. You are increasing my suffering by causing me to have a condition known as blue balls, which has nothing to do with the color of my blood, but to do with blocking the natural release of various hormones and blood flow that create a state of arousal in the human male." Jim raised both eyebrows to underscore his logical reasoning.
Spock admittedly laughed inwardly at this totally ridiculous comment and hoped it did not show up on his face. Although for some reason he had the thought that Jim could easily read him, blank expression or not.
But then Spock looked back into those totally intoxicating and hopeful blue eyes and made a decision. Logically, he should withdraw from contact with Jim's admittedly irresistible body. He peered down very sternly into Jim's waiting eyes expecting to offer a formal and firm rejection. But instead, without conscious thought stated firmly, "If we proceed, you will have to promise me that you will lie very still and you will let me take control." Why Spock came to this most inappropriate decision to initiate a dalliance with someone who could not possibly be interested in a long-term permanent commitment, he did not know. Admitting to himself that he was still emotionally compromised, he decided to let him Human half hold sway.
Spock waited patiently while his statement registered in Jim's thought processes. He noticed Jim beginning to squint at him, expressing disapproval. When he noticed that this had absolutely no effect on Spock, and that in fact Spock had Jim's blue balls and other interesting aspects of his anatomy, in his hands he paused for a moment. Not being a fool, Jim switched to thinking that maybe giving up some control for a little while could be fun. He started to respond to Spock. However, Spock reading Jim accurately that he was not going to totally obey, stated firmly before Jim could say anything, "Absolute, complete control or we do not proceed."
"You are a pointy-eared bastard, but alright. I give up. Do with me what you will," he sighed in a dramatic fashion, opening his arms in 'total' surrender. After a moment's pause he continued, "Now, where were we?" he smirked up at Spock. Spock shook his head and then took his first steps to controlling his Captain. This could be interesting, he thought.
"First, you are going to lie down on your back so that your ribs are not further injured." With that, Spock very gently helped a now very embarrassed Jim lie down flat. Spock placed a small pillow under Jim's head, and when he was convinced that Jim was in a safe position, leaned down to resume kissing Jim's totally tempting, lush lips. "That's better," Jim sighed. He started to reach up for Spock. Spock immediately pulled back and said with his left eyebrow only 'what did I tell you?' Jim was immediately contrite and frustrated to boot, but put his arms down at his sides and waited, trying to be patient but not succeeding. His toes started wiggling on their own, showing Jim's displeasure at not being able to participate. When he became aware of his disobedient toes, he stopped the wiggling. 'This is going to be harder than I thought. I am after all a man of action.'
But soon Jim forgot his lament as Spock worked his very thorough Vulcan ways on his impatient Captain. Spock's lips were pleasuring Jim's in the most amazingly loving way. He was taking his time kissing Jim; alternately giving him gentle innocent pecks with more passionate and firmly planted kisses. As Jim began to let go of the need to participate he was finding that he was totally enjoying this experience. It was amazing to him that he could just accept what was being offered. As Spock began using his tongue to stroke small areas of Jim's sensuous full lips, Jim felt the adoration that was behind such tenderness. His body began to respond by breathing more deeply. Since he couldn't use his hands, every inch of his skin was reaching for Spock instead. Spock placed his hands gently on either side of Jim's face and began to kiss Jim's eyelids. Spock's thumbs stroked Jim's cheeks. Jim's expression conveyed total bliss. Spock was touched by Jim's reaction. He began to feel that he really did have control over this dynamic human being. Jim totally trusted him at this moment. That ability to trust him brought out even more of Spock's tender side. Jim was giving him more than Jim could possibly know. In some ways, it also made Spock remember how his mother comforted him and showed him her love when he was small and she tucked him into bed at night. He trusted her the same way Jim trusted him now. Without thinking, he reacted the way his mother would with him. He kissed Jim on the tip of his nose, an innocent form of affection. Jim's eyes were squeezed shut but he smiled with such happiness at this simple caring gesture. Jim had been starved for nurturing growing up. Spock was filling that void. Jim's breathing increased, and his abdomen rose and fell in total contentment. His body began to stretch out in total relaxation. He was completely open now to being at the receiving end of this experience.
Spock was also totally enjoying his part in the proceedings. He had total license to do as he would with Jim. Dark sexual thoughts began to arise. But he quickly pushed them back down. Not this time, he thought. Meaning what? Would there be a next time? Now is not the time to think of the future. Now is the time to pleasure my Captain, he persuaded himself.
Spock continued to kiss Jim along his chin line, moving downward, leading Jim towards other pleasures. Jim turned his neck in anticipation at getting some attention there. Spock was going to reprimand him for this movement, but decided that this small physical reaction was understandable. So he obliged Jim by beginning to lathe the skin over his carotid artery. The pulse there was mesmerizing. The rhythm of Jim's blood as it circulated through him, expressed the aliveness of this moment. Life affirming at a time when there had been so much tragic death. Spock refocused. Time enough to contemplate the sadder aspects of their recent mission and the losses in his own life. Spock needed this reminder that there was life after loss.
Jim was totally focused on where Spock would venture next. He tried to stay in the moment but he was a goal oriented being and wanted to know what was coming next. Unfortunately, he would have to wait to find out. If this is what it is like to meditate, I would be a total failure at it, he thought. He didn't realize that he was shaking his head while conversing with himself. Spock thought Jim was displeased at what he was doing so he stopped to see if something was negatively affecting Jim. Jim sensed a change in Spock's focus and opened his eyes puzzled. He was in turn concerned that something was bothering Spock. They both spoke at the same time "What's wrong, Spock?" "Is something amiss Jim?" When they both realized they were asking the same question they laughed in unison, or rather Jim laughed out loud, and Spock quirked his mouth.
"I'm fine Mr. Spock. You may continue if you are fine as well."
"Very well Cap…Jim. I shall."