Well our, my, family is officially crazy. Not that there was ever really any doubt in my mind of that, I mean come on how many people do you know that have voices in their heads, or can fly, or have very annoying talking dogs. Not many. Yet, never have I been so sure that we we crazy until one certain mom fulfilled one certain eleven year olds dire desire to buy into the Twilight franchise.

I guess I should start off by saying I am very thankful that our own books aren't that crazy popular. I mean yeah we have a pretty insane fan-base, with kids who want to get our wings tattooed on their backs and whatever, what I mean to say is I am very thankful we aren't popular enough to be a franchise. Yes, good old James Pat is a franchise all and in himself, but the Max Ride books aren't and for that I am counting my blessings all over again. Not that we don't have the stuff to be, come on who doesn't want to read about six kids with wings, traveling the world, roaming the New York streets, and kicking euro-trash butt, all just to save what we really love. Just thankfully that doesn't mean I have thousands of suburbia princesses dreaming of Fang in bed, and poorly impersonating me. So for all of the fans reading my little ramble of a story posted right here for you-please keep it that way. As long as it is just you few I am fine if you let you little twisted minds wander, or you are compelled to try and be me. Just don't turn me into a brand of heroin or anything else. 'Kay? 'Kay. Good, because you have no idea how much trouble some franchises can cause.

"Max," Nudge, the wonderful eleven year old who brought the whole Twilight saga into my life wandered over to me "I wish we were as awesome as the Cullens. I mean come on they can sparkle! Sure we can fly but they can go super fast and jump super high, and that must be almost as good. Oh but Edward totally tore up that head board. I wonder what would happen if we put you and Fang on Esme island..."

I rolled my eyes, and put my hands on my hips. Sometimes I don't know how innocent little Nudge's mind got so dirty. Now Angel I understand, the little creeper spends her free time corrupting innocent six-year-old laws.

"Not nice Max." Speak of the devil. Angel locked elbows with Nudge. "And Nudge nothing worth mention would happen if we put those two on the isle. They won't even admit they love each other! Come on no wonder people don't like the books."

"They are so rated G!" Squealed Nudge.

Before Nudge could continue I stepped in. "My mom gave you books that weren't?" I'll need to talk to her about that, see even if I am anti-censorship, there are just some things that I'd prefer not to have to worry about. Like what ideas Nudge is getting.

"Twilights YA, for your information."

I put my finger up to argue, nut the buggers just skipped away arm in arm. I have to remember to talk to mom about what she is giving these kids, I am scared to think about what they are off to gossip about. My grip on the world is completely failing me.

"Can I go burn them now?"

I jumped and spun around as Iggy appeared behind me out of no where.

"No!" Gazzy shouted from his hiding place on the couch in the den.

I had been wondering where he had gotten off to. Now I am not so sure I actually wanted to know, mainly because right in front of my eyes my wonderful, dazzling, rambunctious, eight year old had Nudge's New Moon propped open in his lap. Eyes speeding bullets, darting across the page.

"What, they are good." Gaz didn't even look up.

I shook my head an slumped back down on the cold marble of mom's kitchen island.

Then Iggy sighed from beside me. The kind of inward sigh that I normally heard when Ella was in sniffing proximity. It would just be easier if Iggy were just like any other teenage boy, if only so he could stare and drool at some girl, instead of sniff perfume and sigh. However when I scanned the perimeter of the room my half-sister was no where in sight, or smell. I did however notice wonderful ear buds snaking from Iggy's ears to his mp3, conveniently located in his pocket.

Without really thinking I snuck the player out of his pocket, just to see what kind of music was going to make the sexist pig sigh like his missus was around. I was expecting Frank Sinatra, John Trovolta, Micheal Bauble, Woody Gumfrey or someone. To my surprise, blinking across the screen wasn't a song at all but a certain Breaking Dawn title, by a certain Ms. Stephanie Meyer.

Slipping the mp3 back in his pocket I grabbed the nearest braille cookbook. One that was a good four inches thick, with nice sturdy sheets. With this marvelous cookbook I smacked Iggy on the back of the head.

"Hey!" he jumped, but then just walked away, not waiting for a head shake or lecture on fan-girls or in this case boys.

With nothing else much left to do I slumped on the counter and grabbed for a cookie, one of mom's fabulous homemade chocolate chip cookies. Sadly my hand missed the jar and landed right smack on Nudge's raggedy warn and mistreated copy of Twilight.

This little tiny distraction got the better of my normally infallible self-control. My curiosity got the better of me.

I slid the book towards me an slowly opened the cover and flipped through the front pages. "My mother drove me to the airport..." It began. I slowly took in the words, revving my reading up to speed. Fang was going to kill me, and I was going to have to kill Nudge. Out of love, of course. She shouldn't have left her stuff where bored Max's might find it. I was committing treason, but the first three pages weren't half bad.

I was spaced out, leaning up against my mom's kitchen island, reading a very publicized book. Giggles occationally breaking through the mind barrier. They were of course from Nudge and Angel, which menat I could care less (and was slightly frightened) about what they were over.

Then.

"Not you too!" An exasperated Ella slammed her homework in my face. "Mom just loves having six extra kids to submit." She shook her head. "Twilight sucks."

"What I've read is okay. Although frankly I am a little worried about what comes next." I marked my place as Ella jumped and sat on the counter.

"Come on," she gawked "Angel us six, of course she is going to blow the book out of proportion."

"I thought you refused to read them."

"Yeah but Mom drew the line when I refused to go to school. High School, Max, is crawling with over grown six-year-olds. They are all walking, talking, Twilight Cliff Notes."

"Oh so I'm not missing much?" It was our running joke, since, me being a lucky duck, I didn't have to go to school.

"No you get to fall in love with Edward, Jacob, Jasper, Emmet, Carisle, ans Seth all on your own."

"Your blowing it out of proportion Ella. It is only a book." Then I thought about it, "Okay yeah if everyone at your school is a crazy about it as Nudge, you might not be. Then again dude, it is a book."

"Books, Max, are very powerful things. You out of everyone should know that." Ella ticked her tongue.

There was a silence for a few minutes, before I picked the book up again.

No sooner than opening the front cover was Ella off again. "Max, you can't possibly enjoy her whining. I mean that girl she is pitiful."

"Mhm."

"Max, Bella is your opposite."

"I know." I kept the book open, still scanning the page. Honestly though I was listening to Ella.

"And your boys could so own any of those sparkly vampire boys." Ella's legs swung back and forth hitting the cupboards underneath.

"Doi, my boys are, whats that word?" pause "real."

Ella ticked her tongue again, "Keep tellin' yourself that."

My eyebrows raised. "Your the one who hates them."

"No-I hate Twilight, I am sure nothing is wrong with them. Okay Bella is pretty messed up and Edward is a control freak-from what I've heard- but I'm sure they are perfectly nice stuck up creatures. Twilight on the other hand is a perfectly not nice brand."

"Uh, huh."

At this point Nudge and Angel had come in from-from where ever they were. Nudge was delighted that was reading Twilight, and Angel the little snoop had been eavesdropping on the conversation.

"Well Max." Angel said, sweetly, "I know exactly how I can prove these Cullens real or not real. Fly to Forks, look for their house, and ask them. Or not find the house and not find them, and not ask them."

"Right!" Nudge squealed. "And I bet we will find them and then they will like tell us all their secrets and then have to bit us so the Volturi aren't all 'you told humans'. And then we will be the first avian-human-vampires in history. And then we would all sparkle!"

I looked at Nudge stunned. "No one is going to bite anyone. Understood." I put my foot down- Twilight must be worse than a franchise, I'm starting to think its a Cult. Then again I Maximum Ride was reading it.

"Vampires are not real." Fang walked in, giving me a disgusted look.

"Prove it!" Angel stomped her foot.

Fang just shrugged and stood there, he wasn't going to answer the cause wasn't worth the wasted breath.

"I know how we could prove it." Nudge prompted again. "Fly to Forks and look for them. Come on the trip would be fun. Please Max?" Nudge looked at me begging.

Fang let out a rough cackle. "She would say yes. She is a brainless fan-girl now anyways."

At this I throw the book down on the counter, putting yet another mark on the already rough book.

"Says who?"

"Says logic, any girl who picks up those cursed books falls deeply in love with their content."Ella pointed out, then turned to Fang. "Don't worry you totally own Edward." As if that was supposed to mean something.

Mr. strong and silent just shrugged.

A grin spread itself across my face. "Well I don't see why not, Fang already said we all could. Go get Iggy and Gazzy, I'll leave a note for Mom."

The girls ran off gleefully, and Fang shook his head.

"What did you do?" He asked, monotone.

"Go pack. I'd say the trip will be about a week. Yeah, go pack for a week."

Without another word Fang stalked off, hopefully to go pack.

"Call me when you get there, if they are real, I'll get Mom to get me out there. If they are works of fiction, you can rub it in my face when you get back." Ella stated before hopping off the counter, grabbing her homework, and walking away.

Okay, so we were now taking a vacation to Forks, Washington in search of fictional vampires. My life is definitely weird. I glanced at the cast aside Twilight book, and swore to myself, one little thing shouldn't be able to cause so much trouble. I was perfectly happy with my day being bored and gorging cookies-I really don't need anymore adventures. However I think adventures love me more than I them.

About and hour later all six people in my little dysfunctional family were gathered in my mom's kitchen, backpacks loaded, and ready to go. Total, our talking dog, had opted to stay with Ella, reportedly because he wad afraid the elusive Vampires would eat him. I wasn't going to argue.

"Ready?" I asked.

Everybody nodded, even Fang, and we were off. Taking a northwest path.

So how da like it??? Huh, huh? I normally don't right stuff like this, and this was kind of random, but here it is!

Would you be so kind to review please, let me know what you think. PLEASE!!!

Reviews are rewarded.

A.