Okay so hopefully I am finally breaking my own rules. These are a collection of oneshots centering around the events of Free to be you and me and a little after. Such as my belief on how Dean will find out and react plus a glimpse at what I think this season is going to center quite a bit around.
The moment he raises the vile to my face, I am in a sea of turmoil. My throat burns with memory. Some primal, savage eurge fills me to rip it away and down every scdrop as if it were as nessesary as oxygen. My mind yells out battle cries, the desire to truly avenge our old family friends and every life the demons had or had yet to ruin.
Inside, my heart hangs on a loose, breaking cord. It swings back and forth, shot and beaten. It thrums a warning, the same fear and danger as it did as my hand ended Lilith's life forever. The stronger part of me commands me to not allow such pain to ever plague me again. To send the little vessel and its contents colliding with the ground and letting it all seep into the floorboards. This seems appealing save I do not trust myself if it is opened.
Still, I heard the words in my heard, which steared me away. Monster. Devil. Boy king. The instigator. The adversary. I have been just a dumb pawn, allowing myself to be poisoned with demon blood.
But as much as I want to though all the blame on the demons, that is not where it belongs. It all came down to a simple fact. I did not listen. All the warnings I got. Uriel's threats. Pamala's last words to me. Bobby. And finally, most importantly Dean. He'd been right there, all along. He was screaming my name, everything had seemed so set up now I look back. How had I not noticed Lilith's failure to attempt to escape? Or Ruby, slamming the doors just before Dean's cries started?
The words he spoke were lost to me, prescion blurred for my thought. But I knew what they wanted. It was more than obvious. And I knew what I wanted. But it was just too hard to say it at first.
"No." never again. People can change.