A/N: Sorry guys! It's been awhile. My posting buddy had her internet turned off for awhile and I couldn't get anything up without her. But now she's back so I'm finally typing this up
Disclaimer: I really don't own anything…I wish I did.
The next morning was a Saturday, which meant that Light woke up early, even though he didn't have to go to school. Of course, L was already awake and staring at him.
'Sleep well?" Light asked.
L nodded. He didn't seem hung over. Lucky bastard.
L cocked his head to one side. "Raito-kun, do you hate me?"
Light was taken aback. "Do I hate you? No…I don't hate anybody. Hate requires too much work."
"Do you dislike me then?"
"No, not really. Sure, you can be a pain sometimes, but generally I like you."
"I see," L murmured. "If you like me, what explains your reluctance to touch me last night?"
"What?!" Light roared.
"If I recall correctly, while I was intoxicated I became obviously aroused and Ratio-kun did not alleviate my discomfort."
"I do like you, but not that much! I'm your friend, okay? Just your friend. Friends don't jack each other off!"
"Don't friends lend each other a helping hand?"
"Not like that," Light growled. "You can masturbate like everyone else. You don't need my help."
"I already did," L said calmly. "Now, how about breakfast? Your mother seems to be making pancakes."
If Light was relieved about the change of subject, he didn't show it. "I am not sneaking you pancakes," he hissed venomously.
L looked disappointed. "Not even one bite?"
"No," Light snarled. "Too risky."
L sighed. "You really refuse to fulfill any of my needs, don't you?"
Light's face flushed a deep maroon. "Are you still going on about sex?"
L shrugged. "Why not? Haven't you ever-"
"Just stop. Just stop right there. Why don't you take a cold shower and that will get rid of all this nonsense."
"Ah, that's right. Raito-kun showers every morning. What shampoo do you use?"
Light was slightly caught off guard. "Herbal Essences," Light said uncertainly.
L frowned at Light. "Your father was right about you. You do have gay tendencies."
Light's shoulders slumped. "But-but…I just want to look good. I've never been attracted to anyone of either gender."
L patted the back of Light's hand. "Then I suppose it was only natural that you thought you were asexual. I can assure you that you are gay. We can test that hypothesis right now."
"No way!" Light exploded. "I'm not-"
"Keep your voice down," L cautioned.
"I'm not having sex with a doll," Light hissed.
"Of course now. The size difference makes that impossible. Besides, I do not have sex on the first date."
"Gahhh!" Light growled.
"It's going to be fine," Raito-kun," L said soothingly. "If I am of normal size, we may embrace and swap saliva and-"
"No! That's enough. There is no 'and'…and none of that other stuff either!"
"Aw, Raito-kun. Don't be embarrassed. I can become your size and then you will see that there is nothing to worry about. But first, you must stretch me out."
"Stop that! Don't you know how wrong that sounds?"
L cocked his head to one side.. "Calm down, Raito-kun. Close your eyes, please. Think of some sort of small, furry animal. That should relax you."
Light shut his eyes and tried to steady his nerves and slow his breathing. Okay…something nice…something not perverted like L. Fluffy kittens…small dogs. All innocent and nonthreatening. Good, good. It was actually working.
"Excellent, Raito-kun," L murmured.
Light quickly opened one eye as L's voice sounded closer than before. L was probably sneaking up on him. Light's other instantly popped open. "What the hell? You grew!"
L was still crouched on Light's nightstand, but he was now the size of a small cat. "Ah, it feels nice to be larger," L said cheerfully. I have not grown for quite some time. It has been years, actually."
"So, wait…you'll grow? How the hell am I supposed to hide you when you get full grown?"
"You may shrink me back to my original size anytime you wish," L murmured languidly. "Try it."
"How do I do that?"
"By using the same method you used to enlarge me. Think of my original size and I will become that size."
"So, what you're saying is that if I picture you a certain size, you'll become that size? How big will you get?"
"I cannot become any larger than a normal adult male. You may not make me a giant, Raito-kun."
"Well, that's great. I don't want you as a giant. You'll just overpower me and try to act out your perverted ideas with me."
L frowned. "I can assure you that I will not force myself on you. I only wish to experiment. If Raito-kun does not like it, then I will not force him. But I believe Raito-kun should not pass judgment until he has tried."
"So, you want me to make you big now?"
"You must do so in stages. First, I must become a young child, then an older child, and finally an adult."
"Okay, okay."
L slipped off the nightstand and stood on the floor as Light gradually enlarged him. At last, L was an adult.
"It is a good thing we are similar in heights," L said cheerfully, crawling onto the bed with Light. "This should make it easi-"
L stopped suddenly, a strange expression on his face. "I-I will be right back." He rushed off to the bathroom.
Light wrinkled his nose and tried to calm down again. "Okay, he was still drunk. That explains it. He said he was awfully friendly as a drunk."
L shuffled back into the room, looking rather pitiful. "Alcohol leads to nausea," L concluded.
"Good, you've got all the sex out of your system and now we can talk normally."
L cocked his head to one side. "But I do like you, Raito-kun. My affection is not alcohol based."
'What?! You're not supposed to want sex. You've been raped, remember?"
"I trust you, Raito-kun. You will not consent to sex unless you are sure of your feelings. That means that you will not see me as a casual sex object. You will not hurt me."
Light desperately clutched for an excuse. "But you're not even human! You're a life-sized doll."
"I was human once, Raito-kun. And with your help, I will be human again. Perhaps it is time I finally explained myself to you."