LOVE

TWENTYNINE

Although he'd be loath to admit it, Ianto Jones had something in common with John Hart.

And it had to do with waiting.

That particular skill set – the ability to calmly, quietly bide one's time – came from different places in each of the two men, to be sure. For John it was one piece of his carefully acquired and honed survival strategy: to not expend energy, whether physical or psychological, unnecessarily. Let there be no doubt that John Hart was a man of intense action. But he was also a man of extreme and sometimes maddening patience. Part of what made him so brilliant was his instinctive understanding as to when it was time to wait versus when it was time to act. That innate understanding had saved John's sorry hide – and his sanity – innumerable times.

Ianto Jones, on the other hand, was born patient. As a young boy, no matter how unpleasant life became, he always knew that eventually, if he just waited long enough, things would change. Of course there was always the chance that change might not be for the better. So he learnt perseverance, too. As well as courage of heart. And strength of will. And as Ianto grew older he began to understand how he could control change, at least to some extent, and drive it in a positive direction. He learned to be observant and flexible. He learned how to take advantage of a situation. He learned to keep his head down when necessary, and not draw undue attention to himself. He learned to think on his feet, to make a decision – usually the right one – quickly and to not look back. In some if not many of these characteristics he was perhaps more like John than he cared to acknowledge. But, he had also learned the value of a true and steady moral compass, and in this he was possibly (probably?) very much unlike our illustrious Captain John Hart. This is not to deny that the young Welshman had veered off-course several times, however he also had the ability to learn from his mistakes as well as his successes. There had been many of both in his life but the balance continued to tip in favor of the latter.

Waiting had become the day's watchword.

The Hub had been placed into night mode. Whether or not it was actually nighttime in the real world, out there in Cardiff, was inconsequential. Outside perhaps the sun was shining and people were blissfully going about their daily routines… going to work, or shopping or visiting the cafes and coffeehouses. Inside Torchwood Three the lights had been dimmed, many of the monitors were dark and the constant hum of the facility's hardware had been reduced to a gentle whisper.

There was nothing left to be done. Checklist items had been ticked off and then double-checked. All preparations and precautions were complete. Ianto had fired up the espresso machine and now the two men sat and waited while their untouched coffee cups went cold.

Rhys Williams did not like the waiting.

In fact, Rhys was fidgeting, almost vibrating. "Damn it, Ianto. I wish we could do something!" he said agitatedly. "This is killing me!"

"We have done something, Rhys." Ianto's voice was soothing, his expression serene. "We've done a lot of somethings. We've done everything that we possibly could. We're as ready as we can conceivably be. Now it's time to sit and…"

"Right," Rhys interrupted Ianto with a brusk wave of his hand. "It's time to be patient. I know that! Still, I don't like it. I'm not liking it at all."

Ianto picked up his cup, swirled the contents around and then set it back down without drinking. "Rhys, I understand you're worried. And God knows you have a right to be worried. But it's out of our hands. You need to trust…"

"Trust!" the older Welshman barked. "It's my wife we're talking about, man! Are you telling me I should trust her life to anyone else?"

In the faint light Ianto nodded, "That's exactly what I'm telling you. The Doctor? Jack? Wil? I would trust any of them with my own life, with the life of…"

"With the life of whom, Ianto? Tell me, have you ever been married? Is there someone whose life means more to you than your own? Than anything else in the entire universe?"

Ianto clamped his mouth shut and blinked back the hot tears he felt suddenly – surprisingly – filling his eyes. "There is someone," he said softly.

To his credit Rhys did not press the point. Instead he asked, "So you trust them? You trust them all? Even Captain John Hart?"

A shadow of darkness crossed Ianto's face. "I'll be honest with you. I'm not sure about him. He's the unknown quantity in this mix. Jack always said… well, I've told you what Jack has said about John, that he is dangerous, that he couldn't be trusted. That he's egocentric and selfish and totally self-serving. And yet, the two of them share this incredible bond that Jack will never, ever break. How do you reconcile that? How do you reconcile what you see when they are together, and what you feel coming from them when they look at each other, with Jack's words of caution? Of warning?"

Rhys shook his head, "There are many different kinds of relationships, Ianto. Many different forms of love. Not all are healthy."

The two men's eyes met for a long moment.

"What's it like?" Ianto asked at length.

"What's what like?"

"Being married?"

"Do you mean finding someone?"

Ianto shrugged in response.

Rhys sat back in his chair, crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes as he filled his mind with images of the woman he adored, of the life they'd made together. "It's amazing. And it's scary. You suddenly realize you're never going to have to look at another person again for as long as you live and wonder 'Is this the one?' You realize you've found what you've been searching for, that you've filled an emptiness in your soul you didn't even know was there. There's a sense of comfort and calmness. And there's this astonishing sense of certainty. The certainty that this person will love you forever, will never hurt you, and will always take care of you. The certainty that you need not worry nor fear nor be anxious. That no matter what happens there is always the love at the core of everything.

"The scary part comes in when you realize it's all reciprocal. Right? That what you get you must also return. You know, it's like that old song says: the love you take is equal to the love you make. Some of us are born knowing how to do that, for the rest of us we have to learn, usually by trial and error, and you can only hope and pray that the other person is patient and forgiving. That they will wait for you to figure it all out. Or better yet, help you along."

Rhys opened his eyes, "Gwen has helped me along and I'm so lucky…" With an abrupt jolt he noticed Ianto's face. "Ianto? Are you okay?"

The young Welshman nodded and smiled sadly through his tears.

"My God, lad, do you want to talk about it?"

"No, no I don't Rhys. But I'm happy for you and I promise… I promise you just like The Doctor promised, that we'll get her back." Ianto took a deep breath. "In the meantime, you remember what you were saying about comfort and calmness and certainty?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well, that's our mantra. Keep those three words close both in your mind and in your heart."

Without shame Ianto pulled out a handkerchief and dried his eyes, "Meanwhile, how about if I make us a nice pot of tea while we continue to wait?"

Rhys smiled, "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. The perfect solution to any problem!"

Ianto returned the smile. "Actually, no. Not quite. That's a raspberry mocha latte with extra whip and chocolate sprinkles on the top. Tea is something else entirely. It's the universally acknowledged liquid comfort food. And it seems to me a good cup of tea is exactly what we both really could use right about now."

-00-

"Love is all you need."
John Lennon