LOVE
THIRTYFOUR
When The Doctor and the Captain returned to the Hub's control center Jack couldn't help but notice that the place where he'd last seen Wil and John was now instead occupied by a big blue police box.
"My TARDIS!" the Time Lord sang out as he ran to his ship.
Jack smiled. He was happy to see once again that The Doctor was no worse for wear. A couple of cracked ribs and a few angry bruises, but his precious Time Lord had said he felt fine and was certainly moving around like he'd meant it.
Although at first glance, back in the ICU, the Captain had initially been quite concerned until The Doctor looked up from his bed and howled, "Jack! What happened to your hair?"
Even Rhys turned around and cracked a small smile before he admonished the two men to keep their voices down because Gwen was sleeping.
Jack reached up with both hands and vigorously rubbed the dark stubble that was covering his skull. "A bit too much off the top you think?" he said quietly. His eyes were sparkling.
The Doctor shook his head and grinned. "Jack Harkness, skinhead. I never thought I'd live to see the day."
Ianto leaned in close to the Captain and whispered something into his ear. Jack nodded, whispered something back, and gave his erstwhile colleague a lusty kiss on the lips. Then the young Welshman quietly disappeared.
The Doctor looked at Jack curiously.
"Oh," the Captain said in response to his friend's inquisitive expression. "Ianto has gone to fetch Martha in the SUV. She's going to want to take a close look at Gwen, to be sure. And perhaps have a look at you, too, while she's at it, if you don't mind? A quick check-up and an oil change maybe, Doctor?"
"Me? Mind? Of course I'd mind! I don't need anyone, including Ms. Doctor Martha Jones, to tell me I'm just fine." He sat up on the edge of the bed and peered intently at Jack's head. "But you may be a horse of an entirely different color. How are you doing, Captain Jack Harkness? How's that old noggin of yours? Everything nice and battened down in there or do you still have a couple of stray pieces rolling around unfettered inside your handsome skull?"
Jack frowned. "I'm good, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You see, I know what you did with your brother. Makes me think you might have a few screws loose. I mean, letting him go? That doesn't sound like the Jack Harkness I know and love."
"Scoot over," the Captain said before sitting down next to the Time Lord. "I know it doesn't sound like me and I was all set to render him metabolically incompetent," Jack flashed a weary half-smile at his own joke. "Really, I was ready to kill him. But when it came right down to it, I didn't want to. It didn't feel right. I've locked him up three times when what I really wanted to do was to save him. But I realize now I can't save him. Only he can save himself. I've done everything I could for him except to let him go."
The Time Lord nodded slowly; he was listening to Jack but he was actually watching Rhys. He watched the Welshman's back muscles tense as he eavesdropped on the muted conversation about Gray. But The Doctor felt he'd done all he could for Rhys Williams, although he knew full well the young couple likely had hard times ahead. Letting go of that particular problem, he turned his eyes and his full attention to Jack Harkness. The Doctor reached out for the Captain's hand and wrapped his long fingers around it, "You did the right thing, Jack."
The Captain scowled. "Maybe the right thing… but the smart thing? I don't know."
"No one can know, Jack. You can only try and do your best. Your choices were limited and I have a hard time imagining you murdering your brother."
"You're right, I can't kill Gray. I'd never forgive myself if I did. I know that now. I'm not even sure I would be able to live with myself." Jack shook his head wearily. "I would've had to have John do it, I almost did. But then…"
"But then what?"
"But then I'd never be able to forgive him. And you know what?"
"What?"
"He knew that and still he was ready to do it for me. John knew I would never have been able to look at his face again, and yet nevertheless he offered to take that bitter cup from my hand. He was going to do it even though he knew without a doubt I'd despise him for all of eternity."
The Doctor waited a long time before responding, "He loves you Jack."
"Yeah, I know."
"You're lucky to have so many people who love you."
"Am I? Am I really?"
The Doctor smiled and nodded, "Yes Jack. You really, truly are one lucky human being." Then he unwrapped his fingers, reached up and rubbed Jack's skull. "I just had to do that. For good luck, you know?"
Jack snorted. "Any time, Doctor. Any time. Let's go find John and Wil, hmm?"
But John and Wil were nowhere to be found. Instead there was the big blue police box waiting for the Captain and The Doctor. No doubt a parting gift from Grasshopper.
The Lord of Time stood in the doorway of his TARDIS and blinked at Jack before disappearing within. "Come on!" he yelled over his shoulder. "What are you waiting for?"
Jack Harkness grinned, and then laughed out loud as he followed The Doctor inside and shut the door.
-00-
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery