Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Nightshade.

EDIT: Can you guess what I edited? More dividers! And some random bits of fluff. :P

00000

Ratchet calmly stood up and wiped his hands absently. A femme? Here, on the base? Well, with this rowdy (and randy!) bunch, she was doing well to hide. Besides, her concerns were valid.

"So, what now?" Nightshade asked quietly, her optics on the floor.

"How should I know? I've never dealt with a femme disguised as a mech…you're not one of those transie-bots, are you?"

"NO! I'm…just hiding."

"Hm."

Ratchet's optics nearly popped out of his head when the femme started removing her armor.

"I think you should keep your armor on, Nightshade. It…ah…wouldn't be good…if you wandered around in nothing but your protoform," Ratchet said, covering his optics. Don't peek, don't peek, don't peek –ohprimustellhertostop!

"I'm not taking it all off, you perv," Nightshade said, scowling up at him, "I just need it to be replaced."

She also clipped the wire from her voice modulator and now was twirling it between her fingers. He peeked through his fingers. Nightshade had simply removed all of the extra armor on her body, leaving her in her shell. The shell was designed to be light and fashionable, not for protection, like the female warriors. Like Elita. Before Elita was fitted with armor, she had been one leggy, voluptuous-Ratchet interrupted himself here. Optimus would kill him if he found out that the medic was thinking about his mate like that. Ratchet shook his cranial unit, wondering if it really had been that long since his last interface…

"Stay here. I need to get Optimus down here."

"But-"

Ratchet's look silenced her.

00000

Mirage was enjoying a nice cup of energon when he received the transmission from Nightshade. He spit the energon out of his mouth and took off down the hallway. All he had understood from the blubbering femme was "Ratchet", "took off armor" and "forced me to". Now, Nightshade was like a little sister to him, and he immediately thought that the mad medic had tried something innapropriate. It was only a matter of time before someone found out…but he never thought that Ratchet would do something like that! He growled and put a little more urgency into his sprint. He burst in through the doors of the medical bay, his posture threatening. He expected to see Ratchet and Nightshade, but almost tripped over his own feet when he saw the femme, sitting on a table, a pout on her face. He also noticed the lack of armor.

"What-"

"Ratchet knows," Nightshade said, her voice hollow as she looked away.

"How did he find out?"

"I was injured…"

"Oh, Nightshade," he murmured quietly, sitting on the berth beside her and pulling her into an embrace. Ratchet watched from his office, his optics narrowed. Apparently, Mirage knew about the femme in hiding. Jealously reared its ugly head in his spark. Ratchet suddenly found himself wanting to crush the sniper with his bare hands.

"Did he do anything? I swear on my spark, if he touched you, I will kill him," Mirage said, pushing one piece of armor away. Nightshade shook her head.

"No, he didn't try anything, Mirage. He's a good mech."

Ratchet opened the door to his office and stood with his arms crossed, the customary frown on his face. Mirage's cool gaze turned icy as it alighted on the medic. Ratchet's glare turned equally as frosty.

"Explain, Mirage."

"What do you mean? She's a friend of mine," Mirage said, a small frown on his face, "And I was assigned to protect and guard her."

"You knew she was a femme all this time? And you didn't think that it might have been important for me to know?"

"Yes and no, to answer your questions. It isn't any of your business that she's a femme. She's been through enough as it is, and she doesn't need any mechs like you hounding her for sparking," Mirage said, an ugly look on his otherwise aristocratic features. Nightshade groaned and buried her face in her hands. He did not just say that…

"Like I would ask her for that," Ratchet growled, his optics starting to narrow. How dare that little brat insinuate something like that! He was going to tear him a new one once the femme was out of hearing range…

"Ask? Please. Half the mechs on this base wouldn't bother asking. They would take what they want from her."

"Please stop arguing," Nightshade begged quietly, watching the two mechs grow angrier and angrier. Mirage silenced her with a look.

"Now listen here, you-"

"Don't tell me what to do, medic," Mirage snapped, standing and advancing.

"This is my medical bay. You'd do well to remember that. As for Nightshade's little secret, yes, I have to tell Prime. As for sparking? I won't be telling anyone but Prime about her being a femme. I will do nothing to break her trust in me," Ratchet said quietly, his voice growing more and more dangerous.

"She's the only female left on this planet. If you think I'll just stand and let you and Prime decide what her future here on this base is, you've got another thing coming," Mirage snarled, drawing his weapon from subspace. Nightshade trembled slightly as Ratchet's saw came to life with a high pitched whine.

"Mirage, please stop," Nightshade said, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him away from Ratchet.

"Nightshade, stay out of this," both males snapped. Nightshade whimpered quietly. She knew what kind of damage Mirage was capable of dealing and she didn't want Ratchet to be hurt on her behalf. Her spark twisted painfully at the mere thought of him being hurt and she pushed them apart, quietly begging for them to put their weapons away. The doors to the medical bay hissed open. Red Alert and Ironhide came into the room.

"Whoa. A femme. Where'd y'all find this prettly lil thang?" Ironhide asked, leering at the female. As everyone knew, Ironhide wasn't known for his thinking abilities…so, unlike Red Alert, he didn't add two and two and get four. Red Alert actually realized who it was that he was looking at. Nightshade cringed under Ironhide's lecherous stare and grabbed Mirage's arm, hiding behind him the best she could.

"Thank you, Ironhide. Now you've gone and scared her," Ratchet snapped, turning his wrath to him.

"I didn't do nothin'! Just talkin'! Primus, you'da thought it was illegal to talk to a femme!"

"Stay away from her," Mirage snapped, trying to pry Nightshade from his arm.

Red Alert sighed heavily. "I knew you were hiding something, Nightshade…but nothing this big." Nightshade peeped from behind Mirage and nodded. Ratchet decided that to try and keep her as calm as possible.

"Tha's Nightshade? Nope, sorry. I know you too well," Ironhide said, backing off.

"So, Nightshade, you never had a brother," Ratchet asked gently, ignoring Ironhide's statement. She shook her head, slowly coming out from behind Mirage.

Ratchet sighed as the door hissed open. In came Prime, a scowl on his face.

"This better be important, Ratchet. I had to walk out on Secretary Keller for this…"

He fell silent as Ratchet reached behind Mirage, grabbed Nightshade's arm, and pulled her out from behind the mech. Mirage spluttered angrily. Nightshade batted Ratchet's hand from her arm and tugged away, biting her lip softly.

"Nightshade…is that you? What's going on?"

"Yes, it's her. She's been hiding this from us for who knows how long," Ratchet growled, glaring at Nightshade.

"Yes, because she knew that she was safer," Mirage snapped. Ratchet growled once more, starting to advance toward the blue mech.

"I see. We need to have a talk. Red Alert, Mirage, Ratchet, and Ironhide. The four of you, out." He was met with splutters of indignation from both Mirage and Ratchet. He held up a hand. "Fine. Ratchet and Mirage, you both can stay. Ironhide, Red Alert, do not speak of this to anyone."

Once the other two had left, Optimus shook his head and tried to figure out what to do with the femme. She was the last femme on the planet…but he didn't want to force her into anything…and…well, Elita was due to arrive at any time now, so…well. What was he going to do?

"Ratchet? Can I borrow your office? The four of us need to have a chat," Optimus said heavily. Ratchet nodded and the little group triapsed into the spacious office.

Optimus sighed heavily as Mirage led Nightshade to a chair and helped her sit down. Ratchet and Mirage then took seats behind her, seeing as Optimus was definitely going to be having a few words with the femme.

"Nightshade, I can't even begin to say how completely irresponsible and dangerous it was for you to not tell anyone about this," Optimus said, leaning back in his chair. Nightshade didn't answer, her optics cast down at the folded hands in her lap.

"Do you have any explanation at all for why Ratchet had to find out about this while operating on you?"

Nightshade began to tremble just a little. Ratchet smirked as he saw Optimus waver at her blatant display of…well, femininity. Optimus didn't have a mean cog in his body.. Primus help the poor mech, he was a complete soft-spark, especially when it came to dealing with a femme or sparkling. Optimus shot Ratchet a glare, making the mech drop the smirk on his face.

"I…I didn't tell anyone during the war because I was afraid of being sent out into space by myself. I wanted to fight for all the sparklings Megatron destroyed," she said quietly, her voice hollow with pain. Optimus's exhaust rumbled quietly, a sound almost like a human sigh.

"I'll give you credit. You've helped our cause and you've proven yourself. But the war is over. Why didn't you tell anyone now that it's safe," he asked quietly and gently.

"I heard them talking to each other in training…of what they'd do to a femme if they found one…and I don't want anything like that to happen to me," she said, her voice growing quieter and quieter.

Optimus sighed once more and folded his hands on his-well, technically it was Ratchet's-desk.

"I can't defend my men against things that they have said. They haven't been in the company of a female in many years. However, with Mirage as your guardian, they will not attempt to…win your attentions," Optimus said, one optic ridge rising slowly.

"What are your plans for her," Mirage said, his optics narrow.

"She's free to do what she wishes. I'm not one to decide her future. Besides, we've got a shuttle full of femmes due any day now."

"I see," Mirage said, content with Optimus's answer.

"So, I don't have to have sparklings?" Nightshade asked, hope in her voice.

"While I can't force you to bear a sparkling, I would prefer that you did."

"Why?"

"Nightshade, there are less than twenty femmes left alive," he said gently.

"Fine…just give me time to find a mech that I wouldn't mind bonding with."

"You know that the chance of finding your sparkmate is…well, almost none, right?"

"I know."

"Mirage, escort Nightshade back to her room, please. As her guardian, you are now responsible for her safety."

Mirage nodded, taking Prime's statement to his spark.

00000

Nightshade smiled down at the little bundle in her arms, cooing softly to it. It clicked and squealed, waving a tiny fist. "How's my little sparkling? Who's the pretty little femme?" she cooed, tickling it. Another sparkling, a green and white one sat beside her on the floor, coloring in a coloring book, made specially for him. Nightshade smiled as she looked at the pictures on the mantle. She already had five little sparklings, all grown up and with families of their own…her spark ached for a moment before she smiled. At least she still had the little ones in the apartment with her.

A pink sparkling ran by on unsteady legs, shouting loudly as she stole her twin's toy race car. The little green bot started whining, banging his cube on the floor.

"Give it back, give it back! Momma make her give it back," the little green boy wailed, chasing her sister.

"Behave, you two," Nightshade said, smiling. The door to the room opened and in came a set of triplets, two mechs and a femme. They were followed by a set of twin boys, one black, one white. Nightshade smiled up at them, joy swelling in her spark as she took in the sight of her little ones. Well, not the twin boys. They had just come of age, along with two of their sisters and another brother.

"Mother," both boys said in unison, tipping their heads. They went into the kitchen, probably to guzzle down some energon and go back to the lab with Wheeljack.

"Well, hello you three, how were your studies?"

"Boring!"

"Red Alert is so boring!"

"Nuh-uh! Red Alert is fun!"

The three sat on the couch beside Nightshade and started their homework quietly. Another femme entered the room. This one was older and was carrying a younger sparkling.

"Mother, she keeps throwing her food at me," the orange femme said, her nasal plates crinkling in disgust. Nightshade waved the comment away and beckoned her daughter closer.

"I'll put little Daisy down and I'll show you how to feed Blue Wave," Nightshade said, depositing the little femme in her arms in a crib with another infant. Nightshade then picked up the sparkling in her daughter's arms and proceeded to show her how to feed a little one properly.

The door opened once more.

In came a mech carrying a large box of supplies.

"Alright, all you runts out," he said, picking up each sparkling and kissing the tops of their heads. Once the room was empty, Nightshade peered up adoringly at her mate.

"What is it, love," she asked, embracing her mate.

"I think we should have another sparkling."

"Good, because I'm pregnant."

00000

Nightshade shot up in her recharge berth, screaming her vocal processors out hysterically. Three seconds later, there was a loud pounding on her door. Two seconds later, the door was shoved open and Mirage was in the room, his rifle out and glowing. Anyone who dared to touch Nightshade would have their aft handed to them! Where was the idiot, where was he-then he noticed the cleaning fluid tears running down Nightshade's cheek plates. He immediately shut the door behind him, his anger deflating into concern.

"What is it, Nightshade? Are you okay?" He sub-spaced his weapon and hurried over to her, wrapping his arms around her comfortingly. Nightshade shook her head silently.

"Oh, it was terrible, Mirage," she wailed, burying her face in his chest plates.

"What was," he asked kindly, rubbing her back softly. Nightshade hiccupped twice and looked up at him with big, watery optics, and launched into her recount of her rather disturbing dream.

By the end of the story, Mirage was in hysterics on the floor.

"How many did you have, again?"

"There were at least twelve of those things running around, wreaking havoc!" She wailed once more, the cleaning fluid making fresh tracks down her cheeks.

"It isn't funny, Mirage! Stop laughing at me!"

This only made the blue mech in question laugh even harder. Finally, after a few minutes, Mirage was finally coherent enough to speak.

"I'm really sorry for laughing at you, but…Primus, that's funny!" He started giggling quietly while Nightshade stewed in her recharge berth, sending him an evil glare.

"I am never, EVER sparking with a mech," she said, crossing her arms.

"That's what you say now, Nightshade," Mirage said from his place on the floor. He was leaning back on his hands, his legs splayed over the floor, and his head tilted up at the femme.

"Nope, this femme's going to be chaste for the rest of her life," she sniffed, turning her nose up at Mirage, who only shrugged and grinned, and muttered something about her 'changing her mind the first time she does mate…"

"So, Nightshade," he started, the very familiar "I-know-something-I-shouldn't" look on his face.

"What?"

"You know...I think Ratchet would find this dream very interesting." Mirage was just kidding, but...

"What about Ratchet," Nightshade snapped, her optics blazing at him. Now what was Mirage going on about?

"Do you have a crush on him," Mirage said, a grin on his face plates. Nightshade felt her internal temperatures skyrocket – did she really feel that way about Ratchet? No, she couldn't possibly have romantic feelings for him! But she felt the most delicious feeling of wholeness, of being complete when she was around him for extended periods…

"No, I don't!"

"Aw, yes you do, Nightshade! I think it's too cute! You and Ratchet are a perfect couple! You're both stubborn, you both have wicked aim, and you're both single!"

"MIRAGE! Unless you wish to die a very painful deactivation, I suggest you keep your vocal processor off!"

"Think of all the little sparklings you two will create," Mirage cooed. An angry yell emanated from where Nightshade had buried her face in her hands.

"I will kill you," Nightshade said quietly and calmly, a chilling glint in her optic.

"No you won't, you love me too much…and you want to get into Ratchet's armor."

"No I don't! I don't like him! Shut up! Mind your own business!"

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Mirage quoted, a smug grin on his facial plates. Normally, Mirage was quiet and kept to himself…but around Nightshade, he couldn't help but tease the little femme. It wasn't like she actually had a crush on the CMO from Pit…right?

"What the slag is that supposed to mean, Mirage? Who told you?"

There was a loud thunk as Mirage's hands slipped out from beneath him and his head met the floor.

"Told me what?!"

There was a gentle rapping on the door frame.

"Is everything okay in here?" Prowl was standing in the doorway. He quickly shut it behind him. It wouldn't do for the news of a femme residing on the base to leak out…

"Yes, everything is fine, Prowl," Nightshade said, smiling at the sentinel.

"Should I go and fetch Ratchet?"

It took exactly three seconds for Mirage's self control to snap, and he was back on the floor, laughing while cleaning fluid trickled from his optics.

00000

:D