It's Been a Rough Road Baby Just Let it Go

"Well, you know that we have a no tolerance program against violence here at Degrassi." Principal H explained as Alex nodded, understandingly. "And I've already given you suspension … starting tomorrow, but I just wanted to talk to you. You understand the gravity of this situation?"

"I do." Alex whispered sadly. There went her chances to breaking the cycle and actually doing something with her life.

"Of course you do. You are our school's vice president. Well, I guess I should say that you were Vice President." Principal H corrected herself.

"Ms. H, if there's any way to remedy this situation like anger management or talking with Ms. Sauvé, talking to Scott. Please." Alex begged, something that was completely out of her nature. "Do not let this be the end for me. I'll barely get into University as it is with my earlier marks."

"I'm sorry Alex, but my hands are tied." She answered slowly. "But, I have to admit that this whole ordeal seems a little … out of character for you."

"It is but, everyone makes mistakes, right?" Alex covered, still protecting Jay for reasons unknown to herself.

"Alex, if you know anything else about this situation, you could save yourself. We'd be willing to work with you." She responded, skeptical of Alex's actual involvement in the altercation.

"I told you everything. It was just me and Scott. I hit him. I had no right to and I apologize." Alex stated, looking Principal H in the eye with such conviction that she herself almost believed the lies.

"If you're … fine." Principal H sighed, giving in. "When you're ready to talk, I am here. It's never too late. Go and enjoy your last day at Degrassi for a while."

"You've conquered Degrassi. Who next?" Giannni asked Manny jokingly. She was all smiles. Of course, some of the kids at Degrassi just didn't get her speech. Some continued to call her "slut" as she walked through the hallway, but the number was dwindling.

And the difference was that now, she didn't care. For once Manuela Santos didn't give a damn. "I think now … I need a break." Manny answered with a smile.

"How about a party instead?"

"You're having one?"

"Wrong. Jay Hogart is."

"Degrassi's resident scumbag? Are you serious?" Manny asked while shaking her head. "No thanks. I'm trying to stay out of trouble. I'm surprised that you're going."

"Why?"

"Gianni, aren't you still trying to get Ellie to give you a chance? Why would you go to that … orgy party?" Manny wondered.

"Maybe because I know she'll be there."

"In what universe?"

"This one." Gianni shrugged. "It's good luck for me."

"Well, you can count me out. Jay equals no, Jay plus a stuck-up hypocritical princess Emma equals hell no."

"Do you think I should go find her and talk to her?" Craig asked Aaron after another practice for the tour. Suddenly this whole 'rock star' thing wasn't so glamorous. He and Aaron were sitting in a strip club, but only one girl was on Craig's mind.

"And miss all this?" He responded, eyeing one of the new back-up dancers.

"We lip sync half the time and my dancing sucks." Craig sighed.

"Oh, so you noticed." Aaron laughed.

"Dude, this is serious. Why would she do something like that? A sex tape … and Ashley writing to tell me about it … it's bizarre."

"What's bizarre is how much you care about your little high school life. This is the real world. This is what life is all about." Aaron answered, annoyed with Craig's venting, turning his attention back to the VIP stripper they had in front of them.

"You have no idea what it was like at Degrassi. My friends, my family, my whole life is there." Craig crossed his arms, looking down. "At least I got to do real music."

"We do make real music. But we're in the business of selling albums Manning and making MONEY, not being some punk garage bank. You think I like being apart of a group that's reviving 'boy bands?' No. I don't, but that's just the way it is. Count your blessings man."

"Yeah, you're right." Craig answered quietly, but his mind wasn't on his music for once, it was on the things he had taken for granted … until now.

"Did you hear about Jay's party tonight?" Gianni asked Ellie as soon as he caught up with her. This week was already making Degrassi history—a sex tape, wild assembly speech, and this party was going to be amazing.

"Excuse me; did I say that we were on speaking terms?" Ellie wondered as Ashley chuckled.

"I just want to know if you're going."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, well … if you are …maybe." Gianni shrugged, straining to remain cool.

"Yeah, well … I've recently adopted a policy… a no losers policy and when I know that one is going to be lurking around, well naturally I avoid him. Understand?" Ellie spat out with a sigh. These random conversations with Gianni were getting old.

"Is there not one part of you that thinks that what we had was special, or at least could have been?"

"That was in the past Gianni. I don't live in the past." Ellie shook her head angrily. "And please, in the future, refrain from speaking to me. Save yourself the embarrassment."

"Why are you throwing this asinine party Jay? I think I need some time to figure out how I'm going to get out of this mess." Alex sighed sadly. She was hating that she was so dependent upon Jay. He and Amy used to be her entire life and since moving in … she had lost contact with everyone.

"It's for you. I promise." Jay smiled flirtatiously although Emma was in the room with them.

"Well, I love parties."

"Looks like it's two votes verses one. You lose." Jay pulled Emma in for a quick kiss as she grinned as though she had won something. Yuck. This already sucked.

"While you two suck face and make out, I'm gonna leave. I'll find somewhere else to go tonight." Alex whispered while rolling her eyes. She walked of the house, making sure to slam the door behind her.

On the sly, she had picked up Jay's keys in hopes of going for a very long drive. On the way out, she ran into a much-unexpected visitor.

"What earthquake brought you here?" Alex yelled from a distance as she walked to her car, trying to tear her eyes away from him, but unable to.

"I came to apologize."

"Too little to late del Rossi. Get outta here!" She shouted, hopping into the car.

"Look, Ellie and I are over--"

"I know. I witnessed your whole pathetic attempt to make up with her. Tell me was it half as painful as it looked?" Alex smirked. Finally, karma was kicking in on her side.

"I know what I did to you was … wrong …"

"Okay Gianni. Let's examine the situation, shall we? You treated me like I was less than trash, like I wasn't worth more than being some physical trophy to you? And now you come here, weeks later might I add, and try to suck me in with your sucky little apology? Don't insult me." Alex rolled her eyes even though the prospect of 'forgiving' Gianni has crossed her mind.

It wasn't even about having a real connection with someone anymore. Jay already fulfilled that quota. She just wanted someone to fulfill the physical and someone else to walk down the hallway with … and whoever these two guys were, she just didn't want them to put their hands on her. That was her new rule.

At one time, Alex had all of these things, but never together. Was Alex asking for too much? She wasn't even asking for one person to possess all of these traits.

Was it too much for her to ask not to end up like her mother? Why did it always go back to her? Jisela Nunez teenage mother, waitress, ex-exotic dancer, and a magnet for abusive, possessive men.

Suddenly, a wave of sadness and longing came over Alex. She wanted to see her mom so badly, just to talk to her. How could she let that last conversation be there last? And Alex was worried about her.

No calls, no e-mails. What was she up to? As Gianni's figure came back into view, Alex began to focus on the reality of what was in front of her, instead of her thoughts. Gianni was the better alternative at this time.

"Look, I'll be honest … I just want to get laid." Gianni stated slowly.

"And you came to me?" Alex laughed, partly because he was so honest and partly because worried thoughts about her mom were fading. "Maybe you should talk to Manny about that." Alex snarled, jealously.

"Manny's hella cool but... we've never d--"

"And I don't care. I appreciate your honesty with everything but the only way I would touch you again is if I was so trashed that I could barely walk, and since the whole alcoholics anonymous thing is not my scene, it's not gonna happen." Alex cranked up the car. "Now move before I run over your sorry ass."

"I'm glad you're here with me. I know how much you didn't want to be here tonight and I really appreciate it." Manny hugged Gianni tightly as he struggled to pretend that everything was okay. It was game time. The party night.

Ellie was a lost cause. He knew that. She wouldn't let them in. Alex was …, well he thought she was nothing but maybe he was wrong. The way she rejected him today actually … hurt.

Gianni always thought that girls loved honesty, but he was guessing that 'honesty wasn't always the best policy.' This party was exactly what he needed. To drink, dance, have fun, go wild, and have a no strings attached hook-up with some random party girl after the same reckless night that he was.

"I've never seen you so pensive. What's going on?" Manny pried.

"That's too heavy of a question to answer at this party." Gianni answered, walking off and heading for the beer. Of course.

Manny hadn't been to one of these kinds of parties in a while. It was kind of refreshing after her victory against the whole sexiest society. Manuela Santos had asserted herself as a woman, free to choose whom she wanted and what she did with that person.

And for once the words wouldn't bring her down. She didn't care. She was free. She was—"Oops." Manny felt a cold, wet drink drip all over her brand new burgundy halter dress. She was ready to give this girl a piece of her mind, until she realized who it was. "Emma?"

"Manny, I—I'm so so sorry."

"Yeah, well sorry isn't going to fix this $300 dress." Manny sighed. "I knew this was a mistake."

"No. Wait. Jay's sister Anna has some clothes upstairs and I have a few things here too. You're welcome to it." Emma offered.

"No, that's okay. I'll just go home and change." Manny declined.

"I will not let you miss the party of the season. Come on. I'll go with you." Emma persisted. "And … I have some words to say to you that begin with 'I'm' and 'sorry.'"

"I knew you'd be here Lexi!" Jay yelled excitedly as Alex walked into the house.

"I've never run away from a battle before. I'm not gonna start." She answered back. "And, I have no place to stay. Mom's not answering."

"No sobbing. This is a party."

"Can you give me five minutes Jay? Just five?"

"Sure." She took her hand in his, heading towards Anna's old room. "What is it trailer park?" He asked jokingly.

"You are so immature." She rolled her eyes, holding back a laugh. Alex took in a deep breathe. "Should I talk to you about my mom or my latest boy drama?"

"What boy?" Jay wondered, his playful demeanor changing.

"You seem really interested in that one. Maybe a little too into it?" Alex questioned him, searching Jay's eyes for something he kept hidden … his real feelings.

"Scott came back for another round?" Jay placed his hand on Alex's shoulder lightly.

"Worse. Gianni. He tried to apologize at first, but when he saw that I wasn't having it, he got real with it."

"Lexi, don't even think about him. He probably just wants to get laid."

"Funny. That's exactly what he told me." Alex sat on the floor and soon after, she found herself laying on the floor.

"And?" Jay sat down beside her.

"I'm actually considering it."

"What?!" Jay yelled a little too loudly, as Alex jumped up, startled.

"Geez Jason, you almost scared the shit out of me." Alex held back a smile. "A girl has needs, as Manny Santos proved, and he is the lesser of two evils."

"He's a douchbag."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm a big girl with big girl needs. I never tell you not to sleep with Emma."

"That's different." Jay sighed. "But you're right. Do whatever the hell you want. I don't care … but you know what Lexi, I'm sick and tired of your shit! The games you play. If you still have feelings for me, then you should just …" Jay paused, his face getting closer and closer to mine.

"Say it?" I moved in as if I was going to kiss him, but then pushed him away. "You taught me that move not too long ago, remember?"

"Yeah …but you're not really going to do anything with him, are you?"

"So tell me, why are you still with Jay?"

"Manny, why not?" Emma answered back.

"That's avoiding the question."

"Now, that's perfect," Emma said, referring to the slinky red top Manny was wearing from Anna's closet.

"I don't know. It's kind of … boring." Manny rushed back to the closet. "So … Jay?"

"Oh. Him." Emma sighed. "I don't know. I guess because I don't want to be alone."

"That's a bad excuse."

"No Manny, you know how it is. It's not okay for a girl to be alone, to be unattached to some guy. Especially since we're older now, I'm really starting to realize it. Do I really want to be the girl who never gets proposed to or isn't married by the time she's 30? No."

"So you lower your standards until you have none. Great idea Em." Manny shook her head disapprovingly. "You know I used to think you had all the answers."

"I did, but then I found out that the world isn't the way I envision it to be. There are certain standards which--"

"Need to be broken." Manny finished for her. "If you don't love someone or have feelings for them then you shouldn't be with them point blank." Manny picked up a plain spaghetti strapped tank and decided to pair it with a cute skirt.

"I guess you're going to tell me that I shouldn't barf up a few dinners so I can fit into a pair of pants."

"Em, why didn't you tell me?"

"Manny, you were off in L.A. pursuing your dance dreams. I couldn't just call you and end it." Emma explained. "I know it's horrible to say this, but I'm glad your back. I finally got back my best friend."

"I don't want you to ever think that anything can come between us." Manny explained. "I love you like a sister Em. You're like my blood. I don't want you puking up your food or staying with Jay even though you don't love him."

"I know, but… I'm so scared Manny. It's scary going against the norm. It used to be second nature to me but now--"

"You care. I know. I just had the entire school watch me have sex Emma." Manny looked down sadly. "Definitely not my proudest moment."

"And definitely biggest Manniest mistake I can think of. You get yourself into these situations that … I'm getting myself into." Emma said softly. "I'm dumping Jay tomorrow." She whispered, not knowing if she would have the guts to do it now, but tomorrow … maybe.

"Promise?" Manny asked as Emma shook her head in response. "Good, now let's party chica!"

"Don't go getting over-eager." Alex demanded as Gianni kissed her passionately. The way he looked at her it was like this wasn't just some random hook-up. There was something behind those blue eyes, his tanned skin, that made Alex want to see this through.

"I'm sorry for what I said about you … earlier."

"I know." Alex nodded, as Gianni lead the way into Jay's room. Alex barely noticed. "But don't do it again."

"I won't." He kissed her neck lustfully as Alex indulged in the feeling of his lips on hers. Kissing. She hadn't been kissed like this in a while. It felt … nice, but it definitely wasn't the best kiss she had had.

'No.' Alex thought. 'Don't start thinking about Jay. Don't start. Don't start.'

"Let's get this over with." She whispered as things started to really heat up.

"I'll be down in just a sec!" Alex heard Jay's drunk voice.

"Quick. Hide." She whispered to Gianni, but it was too late. Jay saw Alex as he never saw her before, naked, on top of another guy.

"Lexi …" Jay muttered, his heart beating faster and faster.

"I wasn't bluffing," Alex said narrowly, trying to hide her shame. She wished that Jay were in Gianni's place so badly … even though she knew what kind of person he was.

"Damn it!" He yelled running towards the bed and pouncing on Gianni with full intentions of beating the snot out of him, until it made Jay feel better. Forget beating him … Jay wanted to kill him.

Manny and Emma were having the time of their lives, dancing harder than they'd ever danced not caring who saw what they did or what they said. "Go Manny!" Emma yelled as Manny took the spotlight showing everyone a few of her moves.

Her dance career with Craig was behind her, but this was the present and a beautiful future seemed possible. "Oh my God." Emma stopped dancing as Manny kept going for a while. But as she noticed the crowd's attention turning away from her and onto … Craig.

"What are you doing here?"

Alex struggled between covering up her naked body, which still contained evidence of her past bruises, and stopping Jay from killing Gianni. He would punch Gianni, Alex would jump on his back, he'd thrust her off and the entire thing would repeat.

"Don't Jay! You don't want to go to prison for this."

"I'll kill him. I swear it!" Jay yelled as Alex started to lounge towards him again. She didn't know why, but that sinking feeling she'd had all day was still with her.

This was the drama climax of the day. Could it get any worse? That question was answered when Alex picked up her phone. Who would be calling her at 3am? Everyone was at this party.

"May I speak to Alexandria Nunez?" A stern male voice penetrated Alex's ear.

"This is she."

"I'd like for you to come down to the police station Ms. Nunez. There's been a problem with your--"

"Police station. W-Why?"

"It's about your mother Jisela Nunez. She's been found … I mean her bod …" Alex dropped the phone. She knew what the rest of that word was. Body. They found her mom's body somewhere.

Alex hadn't even know that her mom was missing. "Oh God!" She moaned. "No! Not my mom!" She screamed, hysterically in tears. "God no." Suddenly, the fight between Gianni and Jay ceased, but Alex didn't even notice.

She also didn't notice that she was half-naked and walking towards the door. 'Police station.' She had to go there … and prove them wrong. Jisela Nunez was a fighter. She didn't just die.

A/N: I'm trying to end it soon. Very soon. Sorry about the yearlong delay! My goal is to finish it by September at the very latest. Review!! –NL