Bo-bobo's Epic RPG Adventure!
The story so far…
Our tale introduces itself, introducing Sir Bo-bobo, the legendary Nose Hair Knight, and a regular citizen of the Don Kingdom, ruled by the ambiguous (and overly selfish) Princess Patches. One quiet, normal day, Sir Bo-bobo and his dear unnamed friend that no one cares about were enjoying themselves, when a letter delivered to them is an invitation to a party at Princess Patches' Castle! The two friends arrive, and while Bo-bobo's friend mingles with a certain pickle that keeps getting rejected by a certain someone, Sir Bo-bobo heads upstairs for a private audience with the princess. Their fair (and nonsensical) meeting turns sour in a hurry, however, because the dark and evil wizard, Softon, and his witch assistant Yuko, crash the party, lift Princess Patches' Castle into the sky, crush Sir Bo-bobo easily, send him off the castle earthbound, and kidnap Princess Patches! And what's more, no one can stop the evil wizard, because he has the ultimate power of the world within his grasp, the Delphinus Crystal, the wish-granting, logic-defying, power-giving treasure that he stole from the Heaven of Gloria (And don't forget, he imprisoned the nine High Spirits of the Heaven of Gloria, too!)! With Sir Bo-bobo plummeting towards the earth at high speed, what is to become of him…!?
From here on, when I introduce characters, I will use brackets after the name of the character when introduced.
Italics will be used during flashbacks or whenever the High Spirits (Or any other godlike figure, or occasionally the narrator) speak and perform actions.
Each chapter of the story will be broken into separate parts. (Ex. Chapter 1-1, 1-2, etc.) The Prologue will be P-1, and such. It will not last as long as the chapters themselves.
And now…the prologue.
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Prologue
A Plea from the Spirits
(Part 1)
The skies were blue and the earth was calm again, as the chaos that erupted from the catastrophe caused by the Dark Wizard Softon had finally settled down. The bluejays and cardinals sang their morning song as the sun rose into the baby blue sky. The emerald trees rustled a little as a small breeze danced through them.
On the floor of a small forest filled with trees and colored bushes, many birds gathered around what looked like a man's body, all of them attempting to wake him up, but had no avail (One of them even tried shock therapy, another body-slammed him, and a third shot him in the head with a nuclear missile covered in cheese doodles). The man looked as if he were unconscious or possibly dead.
That man was none other than Sir Bo-bobo.
The sunlight continued dancing on his café con leche brown skin, but then stopped as the sky darkened. The birds flew away, and the forest fell silent, as a powerful, mystical presence took place.
Suddenly, out of the blue, nine spirits, one by one, appeared over Sir Bo-bobo's head! They slowly spun around him for a moment, their sorcerer's robes glittering, even though they were transparent. They then slowed down and descended near Sir Bo-bobo, and looked over him with worry. The spirit in a light blue and pink robe (Aqua, Spirit of Water, portrayed by Denbo) and the spirit in a light gray and cerulean blue robe (Aerealis, Spirit of Wind, portrayed by Tenbobo, or Bo-jiggler) went near to him.
"Oh, thank heavens he's alright! He appears to be near fatally injured, but I think he can survive!" Aqua said in relief.
"But…Aerealis stuttered. The Dark Wizard Softon has the Delphinus Crystal in his hands now! No one can even touch him!" Aerealis lamented for a moment. "It's hopeless! All is lost!!" Aerealis then became so upset and angry that he ripped ten giant telephone books (and a bird from the forest) in half! The two spirits then went back to their leader, Umbrae's (Bobopatchnosuke, or Bobopajiggler) side with the others.
"Everybody, do not worry. Just remain calm." Umbrae said. The other spirits seemed just fine, but Aerealis started eating ten bags of junk food (and a certain jelly creature, which he rejected) and shooting at all the birds!
"AEREALIS! GET YOUR ASS BACK OVER HERE AND CALM DOWN, YOU IDIOT!" Umbrae shouted so loud that the forest rumbled a little. Aerealis immediately calmed down and put on a peace-loving smile as he went back to the others.
"Ahem…as I was saying, we may be imprisoned, but as long as we keep it together, there's always a way…there's always hope when you believe. Now…our fates and the rest of the kingdom's…no…possibly all of Ashura's fate lies within Sir Bo-bobo's hands! We must try to revive him. Gather round, everyone! Give Sir Bo-bobo the last of your power!
The High Spirits then formed a circle. Underneath Sir Bo-bobo appeared a sliver-colored magic circle that glowed faintly. Rainbow light shot from underneath the circle, as the spirits began praying and sending their power to Sir Bo-bobo. When the short ceremony ended, the Spirits began to fade.
"Phew…that's all the power we have for now…" Umbrae looked down at Sir Bo-bobo in worry again.
"Please…Sir Bo-bobo…wake up…please..."
The nine High Spirits then disappeared. Unknown to them, however, Ignis, the Spirit of Fire (portrayed by Bobopatch), during their disappearance, had a look on his face that appeared to be saying, "The dark wizard isn't the only thing to worry of, you know…"
The sky brightened again, and the birds began to clear away from the forest as the bushes began to rustle. A young boy (Portrayed by Lambada), wearing a purple mage's robe, popped out of the bushes, looking around curiously.
"Hmmm…it seems as if something fell around here…what was that noise I heard just now?" The boy kept on looking around, and then spotted something on the ground.
"…? Oh…who could that be?"
The boy walked over to the unconscious Sir Bo-bobo, who had drool trailing out of his mouth, and a giant blue pawprint on his face. He gently turned his body over and gasped.
"Th-this afro…these sunglasses…this facial hair, and that schnoz…it really does look like the one and only Sir Bo-bobo, the Golden Nose Hair Knight!" the boy exclaimed. Then popped out a creepy-looking man in a green shirt (anime style) and his blue dog.
"Hey! We just figured out Blu-"
"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU FREAKING BIMBO!!!"
The two characters then ran away. The boy then gave his attention back to Sir Bo-bobo. "C…could it really be? Is it THE Sir Bo-bobo!?"
The boy shook his body a little. "Hey! C'mon! Up and at 'em!" Sir Bo-bobo wouldn't respond. "Oh, no! He won't wake up!" The boy then began to panic and run around in circles. "Wh-what should I do!?" He continued to run (and squashed two squirrels with a failing relationship midway) around, until he finally had an idea. He left Sir Bo-bobo and ran outside the forest, calling,
"MAS-TER!
HI-RA-GI!!
HY-DRATE-SA-MA!!!"
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Sir Bo-bobo was now asleep, snug under a warm, wool blanket in a small, oak bed inside a small, warm nursing house. It was dark inside, and silence befell it. The silence then broke as a High Spirit, Umbrae, appeared, now more transparent than before.
"Sir Bo-bobo…he said weakly, almost in a whisper. Can…can you hear me, Sir Bo-bobo?"
"I am Umbrae, a High Spirit. I am one of the ones that watches over Ashura and helps to protect it. I have something incredibly important to tell you…it concerns the princess…and all of the Don Kingdom…and possibly even the world…sadly, I do not have the strength to tell you of it here…"
Umbrae paused for a moment due to fading in and out.
"Sir Bo-bobo…I need you to come to a place called Starlight Hill Summit…we will talk of it there…please, Sir Bo-bobo…we spirits will be waiting for you at the summit…please…get well soon…"
Umbrae then disappeared.
Due to what he thought sounded like whispering noises in his head, Sir Bo-bobo moved in place a little and made small mumbling sounds. He then slowly woke up and yawned!
"Mmmm…I wanna ride the pony…" he mumbled through yawns. He then realized where he was. "Huh?"
Sir Bo-bobo hopped out of the bed he slept in and looked around. The room he was in had an array of several small beds, a check-in desk, various shelves with medicines and herbs on them, a wooden dining table, a stove and oven, several potted tree plants scattered throughout, and a stone fireplace with a fire burning. Whoever rescued him was apparently showing good hospitality.
"Where am I…?"
Just as Bo-bobo was pondering that, a KoPatch walked into the cabin. "Oh! Sir Bo-bobo! Thank the spirits you're awake! I was so worried!"
Sir Bo-bobo walked up to the KoPatch. "Why, hello there! What do you mean I've been out for days and days? I was only sleeping…"
"But you didn't open your eyes for over a week! We've all been worried sick!"
"Like I said, I was only sleeping!"
"But you seemed to be dead!"
"I WAS ONLY SLEEPING, YOU F---ING PIZZA TOPPING!!!" Sir Bo-bobo then threw the KoPatch into the fireplace! The fire then skyrocketed! "GEEZ! WHY DOES NO ONE EVER LISTEN TO ME!?" Sir Bo-bobo looked around the cabin again. "Speaking of days and days, just what is this place?"
"This place? Came a voice from the door. Out there was another KoPatch, only this one was a shade of light green. This is Emerald Village. It's a tiny village here in the Emerald Region that's just west of Crystal Town and the Crystal Region. It's the only known civilized establishment in the Emerald Region."
"Why is that?" asked Bo-bobo.
"The Emerald Region is one of the five largest regions in the Don Kingdom, and like the other four, it helps in giving life to the kingdom. The Emerald Region's huge forests and lush plantain made it that the citizens of the kingdom didn't want to build many cities here. That's why the western half of the kingdom is so clean." The green KoPatch said.
"Oh yeah…I remember my friend talking about something like that once, when Princess Patches wanted to establish the "Princess Patches Megabucket: The Great House of Churros and Chiwukan" here. No wonder the idea was dropped." Sir Bo-bobo looked outside a window and saw lush, beautiful forests in the distance. "This place is beautiful!"
"Yeah…well, as I was saying, the only people who live in this here village are me and a small group of training mages. The school that they were training in up in the Amethyst Region was destroyed in the earthquake, and the old family that lived here went to find a new home in the Opal Region, so this became their new training grounds. The mages and their masters are just the nicest people you'll ever meet, especially the young master, Magus Be-bebe," said the KoPatch. Sir Bo-bobo jumped in surprise.
"Magus Be-bebe!? Really!?"
"Why, yes…have you heard of him?"
"Heard of him!? He's my older brother!"
"Really!? Well, I'm sure he'll be over-the-moon happy when he sees you again! He looked so worried when he and the old master and another mage student bought you in from the forest. You seem well enough to walk again, so I think that you should go see him, and meet his students."
"I will!" Bo-bobo shouted. He was about to leave when something came to his mind. "Oh! Can I ask you something? Did you see anyone come in here while I was sleeping?"
"No. Why?" The KoPatch asked confused.
"Because I heard someone talking…to me…it sounded like a whisper, but I swore that I heard someone talking…he looked like a man with wavy purple hair and wore a black and white robe or something…and he told me to go to Starlight Hill Summit…" Sir Bo-bobo pondered, while a giant thought bubble in his head showed him commanding an army tank and killing Princess Patches while advertising for a juice with a jingle that went, "Yummy Juice! You drink it and convert it to piss!" The KoPatch sweatdropped at this vision that Bo-bobo was having.
"A man in a black robe? I saw no such thing. And I didn't see anyone come in or out, either. I was gardening outside. Maybe it was a dream?"
"I just told you it wasn't. Are you deaf, you jackass?"
"Ummm…okay, maybe it wasn't a dream. I think the man you're describing sounds like the leader of the nine High Spirits that live in Gloria Heaven. Maybe he gave you an important message," The KoPatch looked amazed. "Wow…the greatest hero of the kingdom getting a message from a High Spirit…whatever he asked you to do must mean that something important is happening…Starlight Hill Summit is the closest place to Gloria Heaven, so it makes sense…"
The two stood in silence for another moment.
"Well, in any case, I'm glad that you recovered. I know that the people who live here would be happy if you visited them." The KoPatch said with a hint of nervousness in his voice, considering that Bo-bobo had killed one of his own in a fit of rage and was scared to see what he would do to him. Bo-bobo walked out the door, and he breathed a sigh of relief…and that sigh of relief somehow made him blow up!
Sir Bo-bobo stepped outside into the Emerald Village. The cabin he just exited was partially carved into a huge hollow log. Many flowers were blooming around the small open field nearby. A huge tree that was sprouting fruits and bearing a nut of some kind stood tall near a small, one-story house that was next to the nursing cabin. A gate on the left side of the village lead to another place, while a gate to the right lead to the village exit. A young man, who had spiky brownish hair and wore a sleeveless shirt, white jeans, and hiking boots (Portrayed by Hiragi) was fixing it. Several other teenagers were lying around the village. A woman in her twenties, wearing a light red cloak and a long-sleeved red dress underneath (Portrayed by Rem), was sitting on a bench near the western gate. In the field was Magus Be-bebe, training a teenage girl. Bo-bobo suddenly grew peppy and overly happy and ran over to his elder brother.
"Okay, master. I think I got it this time…a mid-level water spell with incantation time cut in half! Here goes!" The teenage girl that Be-bebe was training, had shoulder-length pink hair held back by a dark blue headband, wore an off-white colored mage robe, and underneath wore a dark red collared sleeveless shirt with cherry blossoms on the side, dark red sleeve parts on her forearms, black gloves that exposed her fingers, tan shorts, black socks that reached to her knees, and ivory shoes. The chain to what looked like a necklace was tucked inside her shirt.
"Aurum, Argentums, et Prisma, jaculetur! Ex somno exsitat, exundans Undina, inimicum immergrat in alveum! Vinctus Aquarius!!!"
A large tidal wave of pinkish-hued water appeared from the girl's hand, and slinked out into the sky, like a serpent. The young lady continued to do this, until she stumbled, lost her focus, and nearly fell.
"Beauty! You need to concentrate harder and relax a bit more, girl! Your incantation also took a bit longer than expected. Try it again, and this time, loosen up a bit." Magus Be-bebe, dressed in a navy blue cloak, was instructing the mage-in-training, who was named Beauty.
"Y-yes, Master…" Beauty continued working, as Be-bebe looked over and screamed as Bo-bobo tackled him to the ground.
"BE-BEBE-ONIICHAN!! IT'S BEEN SO LONG, LIKE WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?" Bo-bobo kept on shouting as he smooched his brother like crazy. Be-bebe was struggling to escape his younger brother's grasp, screaming at him to get off.
Beauty turned around and noticed this strange man who was attacking her master. She took a stance and drew out her mid-length staff, which had a garnet orb gem on top.
"Aurum, Argentums, et Prisma, jaculetur! Sagitta Magica, Series Lucis!"
From Beauty's hand shot several magical arrows made of pinkish light, shooting the living snot out of Bo-bobo, up to the point where his butt was on fire!
"Beauty! How dare you! Do you not know who he is!?" Be-bebe stood up again and slapped her face.
"But master, he-"
"Silence, you stupid girl!" Be-bebe slapped her harder, to the point where she fell to the ground. Bo-bobo then went up and shot Be-bebe in the butt!
"Oniichan, that's no way to treat a student of yours. Besides, I made the situation look bad. She was only trying to protect you. And if she's your best student, why did you call her 'stupid'?" Beauty gave a thanking smile to Bo-bobo.
"Okay…I'm really sorry, Beauty. It's just that he's my younger brother, and so…well, it isn't your fault." He helped Beauty up.
"I'm sorry too, master…by the way, who is this man who you call your younger brother?" Beauty looked at Bo-bobo with widened eyes. She then hopped in place a little. "Why it's…I can't believe it! It's Sir Bo-bobo, the legendary knight! Wow! I heard so much about you! I think you're the best!"
"Why thank you. How about I show you what I can do?" Sir Bo-bobo let loose about six streams of nose hair, smirking.
Beauty murmured to herself, freaking out, screaming, "TH-TH-TH-TH-THAT'S YOUR NOSE HAIR!?!?!?" She screamed and stumbled backwards.
"So, as I was saying, oniichan, what's going on?"
"Well, the earthquake wiped out all of the buildings in the Amethyst Region, sad to say, and our Magic Academy was taken as well. So suffice to say, my master and my students are now training in this here village. We're taking a break right now."
"Yes, and as you can see, the earthquake did rather large damage to this place," said the woman in the red cloak. She talked in a rather sickly fashion. "One of our students is fixing up the gate right now."
"Ah, Lady Remus shouldn't you be resting?" asked Be-bebe.
"Don't worry, this illness won't kill me yet. Let's just worry about fixing the gate, okay?" Remus then led Bo-bobo and the others to the gate, which was being repaired by a young man, presumably eighteen or so.
"Oh, hey there, master! I'm almost done fixing the gate, so don't worry!" he said smiling.
"It's a good thing too, because my brother Bo-bobo here needs to head to Crystal Town, and Starlight Hill Summit," said Be-bebe.
"Crystal Town? That's just east of here, along with the rest of the Crystal Region. If you need to head to the Starlight Summit, then it must be important. Well, as I said, I'm almost done, master. It was nice meeting you, Sir Bo-bobo-sama!" Hiragi smiled.
"Very well, then. Hey Beauty, you need a rest. Why not help fix the veranda in the house?" Be-bebe asked. Beauty nodded her head in agreement, and went into the one-story house. The rest of the citizens continued what they were doing.
"Well, brother, my master would like to meet you, said Be-bebe. He's in the house over there."
"I don' wanna see him." Bo-bobo said like a child.
"Why not?"
"BECAUSE GLOBAL WARMING KILLS EVERYTHING!!!" Bo-bobo shot his brother in the glutte again.
"YOW!!! THAT REALLY F---ING HURT!!! And what does global warming have to do with anything!?"
"GLOBAL WARMING MADE MY MAMA DIE!!!"
"Mom died in a conga line accident."
"GLOBAL WARMING CALLED ME FAT!!!"
"It was your own fault that you ate too much spam and milano cookies at thirteen and became eighty pounds overweight."
"GLOBAL WARMING PANTS-ED ME WHEN I WAS A KID!!!"
"That was Bi-bibi."
"GLOBAL WARMING STOLE MY BLACKBERRY!!!"
"HUH???"
Before Be-bebe could say anything else, Bo-bobo shot his butt again, and this time, Be-bebe, having lost it, whipped out a shotgun and started a shooting-fest with his little brother. A man in his late thirties walked out, dressed in a purple cloak with armor underneath.
"Geez, one complaint about global warming and another war breaks out, just great! I swear, the day that Ashura falls probably won't be at the fault of global warming, probably just-"the man stopped as he looked at Hiragi and Lambda (a.k.a Lambada), who were staring at the sibling brawl in disbelief.
"H…Hydrate-sama...co…could you tell them…that I finished fixing the gate?" Hiragi stuttered. Hydrate nodded his head. He went over to the brawling brothers, flashed an intense purple aura, and slammed his glowing left foot sole to the ground, causing the brothers to break their brawl and left a huge hole in the ground.
"Honestly, can we please have some peace and quiet? The earthquake was noisy enough!" Hydrate yelled.
"Please accept my apologies, Hydrate-sensei. It was my fault." Be-bebe bowed his head to his master.
"It's nothing. By the way, Hiragi here's finished fixing the gate. Well, Sir Bo-bobo, it seems that you can finally head to the Crystal Region. Good luck on whatever you need to do." Hydrate said.
"Best of luck, Sir Bo-bobo. I found you in the forest while you were unconscious, by the way. I hope the strength our nursing inn gave you comes in handy. Trouble is usually about on the Emerald Road, so be careful." Lambda said.
"I don't think that's going to happen."
"Huh!?" Everyone began looking out, for a voice from above spoke over them.
"KE KE KE KE KEH!!!"
Suddenly, a female figure on a metallic silver broom flew forth, her broom leaving behind a trail of black magic dust. She flew around for a moment, stopping in front of the gate. She lifted her witches' hat up a little, and then spoke.
"Hah…so my instincts were right…Sir Bo-bobo…I can't believe you're still alive after taking such a fatal blow from Lord Softon. You're even more stubborn than a mule. I was right to check on you."
"Wh…who the hell are you!? What do you want with us, creep!?" Lambda exclaimed.
"Creep!? Why you little brat! I am a beautiful witch with a beautiful name: Yuko! I should teach you a lesson in pain for insulting me urchin, but I don't have the time." Yuko looked down at Sir Bo-bobo.
"Sir Bo-bobo! Hear me out! It is absolutely useless for you to try and save Princess Patches! It's ridiculous! It's laughable! It's blasphemous! As you can see, Lord Softon is not like those you have faced before. He is unstoppable and more powerful than you could ever imagine. And now…here's a gift from him!"
Yuko then raised her silver, star-headed witch's wand and chanted:
"Spirits of yonder, high and low,
Send my master's command to the earth below!
Earth and feces, solidify and combine,
Form the unstoppable barrier that lasts through time!"
Her wand then glowed a purple color, released a few magical rings, creating what looked like a poop-shaped cinder block, and lowered her wand, causing the mammoth-sized piece of faux-poop to crush the gate and block the exit!
"Ummm…Hiragi grumbled. I just fixed that gate…"
"Too bad, squirt! It'll never be fixed. But hear me out, Sir Bo-bobo! You will kneel and weep in happiness and sadness when you see the wonderful changes Lord Softon has made! Your world and beyond is our world now!"
(Happiness…?") Bo-bobo thought.
Yuko then flew away, cackling still. A silence fell over the village.
"Uhh…Hiragi-kun-" Be-bebe was cut off.
"Nobody say "gate" to me…that bitch's gonna pay big time…" Hiragi continued to steam.
"But all that aside, that witch is such a fiend! Did you hear what she said about the princess!? It was insulting! Boy, but I really do hope that nothing's really happened to her…"
"But Be-bebe-sensei, people have been saying that her majesty's castle was the center of the earthquake that happened last week!" Lambda said.
"Who knows? Maybe the princess herself caused it. She is a selfish freeloader…probably got pissed about the Churro-Chiwukan Megabucket or something…" Hiragi suggested.
"Hiragi! How dare you speak so lowly of the princess!" Be-bebe slapped Hiragi.
"Oniichan, you really shoudn't hurt your students. Besides, what that witch said was true. Princess Patches was kidnapped by the evil wizard Softon XVI," said Sir Bo-bobo as he was picking his nose. Everyone jumped in shock.
"Wha…wha…what!? Princess Patches was kidnapped!!? By the evil wizard himself!!? Are you serious!!?" Be-bebe exclaimed.
"Yup. And I was there!" Bo-bobo said with a hint of spunk.
"That's unbelievable! The whole kingdom could fall prey to the wizard's power! This is a huge problem!" Remus exclaimed after letting out several coughs. "And I suppose now you ha…" Remus then fell asleep inexplicitly.
"Don't mind her, it's her illness. But now you have to go to Starlight Hill Summit on request of the High Spirits themselves to go and help save her, right?" Be-bebe asked. Bo-bobo nodded his head.
"Hmmm…this is a problem…there's no way to get above this poop-thing! It's magically enhanced! And it smells awful!!" Hiragi exclaimed, pointing at the poop-shaped block that blocked the path east. It was emitting a dreadful-smelling stench. "What can we do!?"
"We need to do something! Sir Bo-bobo has to save the princess! No one else can do it!" Lambda exclaimed again.
"I have an idea! said Hydrate. Maybe this giant block can be broken with the magical hammer that Beauty owns! I think she's using it to fix the veranda right now. Sir Bo-bobo, if it isn't too much trouble-"
"Why can't you just ask her yourself, clodface!?" Bo-bobo wimpered.
"Because you're the main character, and it's your job to do all the dirty work. Now go or else I'll fill your life with misery and woe!" Hydrate's foot sole began to glow and his serpent-topped staff began to shine, as his aura began to blaze. Bo-bobo whimpered as he headed into the house.
Bo-bobo went through the kitchen of the house and saw the veranda in view. He stepped outside the door…
…and was standing in midair.
"Huh? But wasn't this supposed to be-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH----------!!!"
Sir Bo-bobo then began to fall towards the ground fast!
Several minutes of falling and screaming later…
Sir Bo-bobo finally landed on the ground below, in a thorn bush filled with bees, mosquitoes and a dead bunny. He was able to shake them off by bribing them with an "Emo Anthems Mix" tape, and began to look around. He was in the middle of an open field that resided next to the cliff he just had fallen off of, with a tree standing next to the remains of what looked like the veranda of the house. Up ahead was what looked like another poop-esque block, and someone was standing in front of it.
"Oh! It's Beauty!" Bo-bobo exclaimed when he got to the tree. Beauty became aware of his presence and turned to him.
"Sir Bo-bobo! Is that you?" she asked.
"If I don't know, no one knows."
"Are you okay? I heard a huge crashing sound, and the veranda went falling down, and so did I…ow!" Beauty fell to the ground, holding her left leg in pain.
"Are you alright, Beauty?" asked Bo-bobo.
"I think so…although I think that I sprained my ankle pretty bad…it may be even broken a little…either way, we can't get back to the village because of that huge poop-block that's in the way, and my magic isn't strong enough to break it." Beauty pointed to the swirly brown block. "Did you fall too? Just stepped outside in thin air or something? Hey, I'm talking to you!" Beauty made a freak-out face as she saw Bo-bobo chasing a butterfly. He immediately stopped and turned to her.
"I think that we can get rid of that block with your magic hammer, Beauty."
"Oh! My hammer! Of course! Uh…where did it go? Oh dear…it must've landed in the clearing over there. Let's go look for it!"
"Okay! By the way, can you walk?"
Beauty tried standing up, but immediately fell down and winced. "Ah…I don't think I can…"
"Hey, it's okay." Bo-bobo lifted her onto his back. "I'll find it for ya."
"Thanks so much!" Beauty said in happiness as Bo-bobo carried her into the clearing in the back. When they made it, they were now in a small, lightly treed forest with several bushes. Bo-bobo went to the tree near their entry point and set Beauty on the ground gently.
"The hammer has got to be nearby. It looks like this," said Beauty, handing a picture of the hammer to Bo-bobo. It had a large, mallet head that was black with a pinkish shine, and had a metal handle.
"Gee, what a girly looking hammer," Bo-bobo said.
"Just find it for me, please?" Beauty asked exasperated. Bo-bobo nodded his head and checked the bushes for the hammer. He searched the first few bushes and found nothing. He found a gold coin in another bush. In another bush was a Shinsetsu Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo volume 7 graphic novel. Another held a dead KoPatch, the same one that died earlier. One bush had several more gold coins and a stuffed bunny. The bush at the farthest end of the forest held a man-eating fire truck, which Bo-bobo barely escaped, along with Beauty freaking out. Another bush held a particular crazy boy with black hair that ran around like a mad man saying, "I'm not gay! Horray!"
Bo-bobo was about to give up until he went to the last bush he didn't check. He went through it, and felt something hard and metallic on his skin. He picked up what he found, and much to his glee, it was the hammer he had been seeking!
You found Beauty's magical hammer! Sir Bo-bobo can use the hammer in battle now! To use the hammer, go to the equip menu and choose "equip" by pressing the "A" button. Put it in the "Weapon" arsenal of Bo-bobo's equipment!
"Huh!? Who the hell said that just now!? And what's an "A" button!?" Beauty freaked out.
'Tis I, the narrator!
"I thought Princess Patches killed you in the introduction!" Bo-bobo yelled.
He blew up my house.
"Do you WANT to die, you loser!?"
Shall I further explain the uses of Beauty's magical hammer?
"Okay, shoot."
The magical hammer can easily crush things made of magical material, such as those made by mages or witches. It's also an efficient tool for repairing stuff! Plus, it's so pretty!
"Anything else?"
Umm…no...
"THEN GO TO HELL YOU ANAL HOLE!!!" Bo-bobo swung the magic hammer, which easily put the Narrator in place. The Narrator was bleeding on the forest floor, where the vultures and crows were already flying in. However, once they saw him, they stepped back in disgust and flew away!
"Well, all that aside, that hammer is strong enough to break through magic-made blocks and standard gateway blocks. You can also use it to find things in trees by hitting them. Either way, thank you for finding it, Sir Bo-bobo. I think we can head back now, hm?"
Beauty slowly got herself up, with Bo-bobo following her. She was able to limp a few steps, but then yelled in pain!
"Kyaaaaaaaaa!!!"
Beauty came tumbling backwards, whimpering in pain, clutching her ankle. Bo-bobo came to her side, as a noisy, haughty laugh came from the clearing exit.
"Who's there!?" Bo-bobo exclaimed.
From the clearing came a big, burly man with a black ducktail, and skin the same color as Bo-bobo's, wearing a black long-sleeved blouse shirt with a triangular collar, blue jeans so dark in color that it could not be distinguished from black, and brown leather boots. A large knightsword hung at his waist.
"Just who are you thinking, going into my playground, idiots!? No one double crosses the all-powerful Captain Battleship, supreme master of gunmanship and swords!" The man then looked at Bo-bobo and gasped. "You!"
"You!" Bo-bobo countered. The two of them stared at each other with intensity for a moment…and then they threw a tea party together!
"Bo-bobo-buddy-boy!!!" Battleship said affectionately.
"Battleship-boo-boo-bud!!!" Bo-bobo said in return. Beauty looked at the two in disbelief as they laughed like good friends for a moment longer…
"GET THE HELL OFF MY PROPERTY YOU JERK!!!" Battleship then attempted to cut Bo-bobo in two with his blade, but Bo-bobo barely dodged the blow in time.
"Well, well, if it isn't my old rival Captain Battleship. It seems like only yesterday when you were constantly being kicked out and about at school," Bo-bobo said.
"Hmph! You're a fool. Those days are long over! I've become stronger than before, and now, I'm totally gonna rip you to shreds once and for all! Draw your blade, Sir Bo-bobo!" Battleship shouted while drawing his.
Bo-bobo drew his blade and positioned himself for battle. "Beauty, stay back. This could get ugly."
"Yes, Sir Bo-bobo. But I have met him before."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Captain Battleship here's the boss of the Emerald Region Shotguns, a gang of sorts that…pretty much bully and hurt whoever comes their way. He's really strong, I hear. Be careful."
"Don't worry. I know this dude from way back. I can beat him."
The tension between the rivals grew. A battle between old inmates was about to begin!
End of Part 1.
-Heh heh heh…what did you think of my adjective use here? It seems like a long story, but I just wanna do the best I can! Besides, there's a lot to squeeze in…
-The next part of the prologue is coming your way soon! The legendary tale continues with Sir Bo-bobo and Captain Battleship in a clash of epic proportions! Will Sir Bo-bobo emerge the victor?
FOOTNOTES
-On the Chapter 209 splash page of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Beauty was portrayed as a mage, or sorceress.
-Beauty's spells were said in Latin. The translation of the first one (the one she used while training) translates to: "Gold, Silver, and Crimson, assail the enemy! Let the Wave-Tossed Undine Appear from Sleep and Submerge the Enemy into the Riverbed! Water Binder!"
-The second spell (used on Bo-bobo) translates to: "Magic Archer, Arrows of Light!"
-Remus, Rem's (The former D-Block commander in the original Third Era) name in this tale, is actually the name of a mythical man of Roman Legend, being one of the two founders of Rome, the other being named Romulous.
-Lambda, Lambada (Former B-Block commander)'s name in this tale is the eleventh letter in the Greek alphabet. It is reminiscent of the English letter L.
-This fic is labled "RPG Adventure", now. So you'll hear the Narrator popping up the way he did throughout (not to mention being killed).
-And I bet some of you know who the boy with the black hair is… (Hint: He's from an anime everyone obsesses about. Many of these fans hate Bo7)
HAIL MALTHUS!!!