The story so far
The story so far…
The team is separated in the desert-and as they stray alone, more mysteries form within the desert sands. Namero recalls a lost memory of his mother's death, which follows up a series of voices shouting in his head. Don Patch is still dysfunctional. Serviceman is on the verge of becoming a roasted duck. Beauty goes through a crazy trip where a hidden power located in her own pendant activates. Heppokomaru is missing. And finally, Sir Bo-bobo is resting in the Fynbos Outpost, with a mysterious desert wayfarer keeping eyes on him. But what do these hidden truths all mean…?
Yep, it won't be long now…hopefully...yay…
Chapter 2
The Mystery of the Ruins of Exodus
(Part 4: The rise of the ruins and the blazing truth! I HATE IDIOTS!!)
Fynbos Outpost Inn (Bo-bobo's room)
Bo-bobo's arms were spread out on his fluffy bed. A trail of saliva slowly dribbled from his mouth. Despite his ridiculously unconscious look, he, like the others, was having a rather peculiar and distant dream.
Dream Sequence Mode
"Look, Bo-bobo!"
Bo-bobo and his four older siblings were standing on top of a flowery cliff that lurched over the Diamond Region. A garden was formed on that cliff, alongside a small marble sun-cover building and a fountain. A statue of an unknown woman adorned the fountain in its majesty.
"Bo-bobo! Do you see it?"
A six-year-old Bo-bobo was flopped in a flowerbed of daises and morning glories. He shot up as he heard his seven-year-old brother Be-bebe shout for him. He got up, fiddled with his dirty blue overalls, and dashed over to his brother, clad in a long-sleeved purple shirt and jeans.
"What is it, onii-sama?" Bo-bobo asked.
"You can see the entire Don Kingdom from this cliff! Look!"
Bo-bobo turned Be-bebe's way. Within moments, he saw the distant, echoing beauty of the Don Kingdom before his very eyes. He saw all the regions, glittering in the sunlight. He could see the royal castle that stood tall and true in the Crystal Region. He could see the beautiful trees of the Emerald Region. He saw the sparkling waters of the Sapphire Region. He saw the dancing sands of the Ruby Region. He heard the dancing breezes that bought with them swirling blossom petals in the Topaz Region. He could see the newborn stars of the Pearl Region. He saw the snow of the Garnet Region. He heard the mysterious howl of the Zircon Region. A flock of crows flew high from the Obsidian Region. A breeze of sakura blossoms blew from the Moonstone Region. He could see the magnificent buildings of the Alexandrite Region. He heard the people singing hymns in the Tourmaline Region. It was a spectacle to be seen!
"Wooooow…" Bo-bobo's eyes went blank. Be-bebe waved his hand in front of his face, but Bo-bobo was distant.
"Aw, who cares about other lands when we've got our own? The Diamond Region is the richest region in the kingdom, and the Diamond Hair Kingdom's the richest city. So who needs a view when we've got all we need here?" A boy with long, pale blond hair sneered.
"Bi-bibi-onii-sama…" Be-bebe argued.
"I just don't get why we can cut ourselves off from the rest of the kingdom. We're practically as rich as the king and queen, and what's more, we have knowledge that even THEY don't know! So why don't we just become our own colony?"
"It's not that simple, little brother." A boy with tall, flaming red hair fiddled with the blindfold he wore around his eyes and looked into the distance. "To become a separate colony, we need to consolidate all of the castle authorities and seek permission that goes through a long process that may take a whole year to decide. Besides, the Diamond Region is landlocked, so we can't really separate so easily, know what I mean?"
"Aw, what do you know Ba-baba-oniisan? You're as blind as a bat!"
"I've been here longer than you."
"Yeah, by one year!"
"What difference does that make?"
"You're just jealous because Father and Mother offered the throne and the heir-hood to me, and not you!" Bi-bibi scoffed. Ba-baba turned away in defeat.
A girl with honey blonde hair tied in two low pigtails wearing a blue overall dress was picking flowers as she listened to the conversation. "Why can't you guys just get along? We're all nobility here. We should be grateful this kingdom is offering for us."
"That's the point; we're not nobility in the eyes of the rest of the kingdom. But why should you know? You're a girl! Your judgment doesn't matter! So back off, Bu-bubu!" Bi-bibi hissed.
Bu-bubu gave a low vengeance glare before she turned away.
"Onii-sama, that's not fair! She has as much an opinion as you do!" Be-bebe protested.
"I'm going to be making the decisions sooner than you think, so you better listen up and listen well! You're all a bunch of wet-behind-the-ear yellowbellies! Hmph!" Bi-bibi walked away in anger.
"He makes me wanna rip my hair out…" Be-bebe growled.
"Don't get in over your head. He could easily beat you in a fight. And I don't want my little brother getting hurt anymore," Ba-baba said, hugging Be-bebe's head. Be-bebe softened his expression and hugged him back. Ba-baba glanced at Bu-bubu who was wallowing by a multitude of azaleas.
"Bu-bubu, he was saying a simple double-standard, which is absolute crud. You're the toughest girl I've ever known."
"You're only saying that because you're my brother!" Bu-bubu kicked Ba-baba's leg and ran off in frustration. Along the way, she picked up a daisy and ripped off the flower with her mouth.
Ba-baba had an upset look on his face. "This family is falling apart, and we're only so young…" He looked out at the kingdom, and then at the luxurious castle-like mansion they lived in.
"I wonder…"
Meanwhile, Bo-bobo was still staring off into the kingdom, a puddle of drool sliding from his mouth.
End Sequence
"King Friday!" Bo-bobo shouted abruptly as he shot up from bed. He then looked around and saw that he was inside a room in the inn. His things were laid aside on his bed, and he himself was naked, his blankets covering his intimate parts.
"Must've passed out or something last night…I can barely remember a thing…" Bo-bobo rubbed himself in the head as he got dressed. Slowly, his memories formed as he remembered the desert wayfarer shooting him with a sleeping needle. "Oh yeah! Now I remember! I have to look for the others!"
Bo-bobo grabbed his things, stole down the stairs swiping a breakfast burrito in the process, and dashed out the door. He beelined for the exit to enter the desert, but the same wayfarer from last night stood in his path.
"Clear the way! I have to save my friends!" Bo-bobo shouted at the man.
"There's no need to be so hasty, idiot. Come with me, and I may help you on your journey." The wayfarer motioned his head to the east and walked forth. Bo-bobo reluctantly followed him.
The two of them soon arrived at a pale green house with a brown wooden double-door. The wayfarer stood in front of the door on a large brown box he pulled out of an alley.
"Listen well, Sir Bo-bobo. My name is OVER, and I am a messenger of the current infamous descendant of those who have first built the Ruins of Exodus and the rest of the Don Kingdom. I have a message from her, to you."
"Okey-dokey then! But what's the message?" Bo-bobo asked like a child.
"She told me that you have to get her both her favorite things and her least favorite things before she tells you."
"What are they!? Tell me!" Bo-bobo shouted, dressed as an archaeologist.
"Well, one of her favorite things, as she describes in her hints, is that 'this red-orange fruit that is completely unrelated to the desert yet grows anyway, is hidden in the oasis for an unknown reason. It starts with the English letter 'm' and ends with the letter 'o.' That is her favorite thing."
"Duuuuhhh…is it a tractor?" Bo-bobo asked dumbly. The wayfarer smacked his face.
"I may not tell you what it is, but I'll tell you right now, that NO WAY IN HELL IS IT A TRACTOR YOU IDIOT!!" OVER's voice became very shrill as he smashed Bo-bobo in the head with a clay vase. Bo-bobo landed on the ground face-first.
"Hey, hey, I was just kidding…" Bo-bobo whimpered. "I understand what the first clue means, but what is the second?" Bo-bobo asked, being serious.
"Okay then. Her other favorite thing, as she describes in her hints, is 'another desert-unrelated fruit that grows here anyway under unknown circumstances, like my other favorite thing. It is soft and pale, like one of the skin colors of a human. There is also the flower that bears its name that grows in the region of oriental culture.' This is her other favorite thing."
Bo-bobo thought for a moment on what they both were.
"Okay, let's see…both fruits are unable to grow in the desert yet they do anyway…one is reddish, the other is…ah-hah! That's one down, but the reddish one…starts with 'm', ends with…oh! I see! I think I know where I need to go!"
"I know what her favorite things are! Now tell me what her least favorite things are." Bo-bobo spoke with confidence.
"Okay then! Her least favorite things, as she describes, are 'blubbering fools who are stupid in their minds and appear drastically horrible in taste on the outside. The first part of this word is made up of the Japanese character 'ba.' That is her least favorite thing, and according to her, you need to bring two of each thing to her."
"Two of her least favorite things and two of her favorite things…how do they connect?"
"You will see soon enough."
"And is the current descendant really female?"
"Yes…err, well…you could say that…"
Bo-bobo thought and thought for a moment. His mind began to boil over.
"What's wrong?" OVER asked.
"I know where to find both her favorite and least favorite things! The Land of Make-believe!!" Bo-bobo shouted in triumph before running off. A giant vein appeared over
OVER's head.
"I think I've found one of my least favorite things…" His voice became unknowingly shrill, like he had done earlier…
Crimson Desert (Bo-bobo)
Bo-bobo pranced out into the desert as if he were a happy schoolgirl, causing the bandits to faint, the living cacti to explode from his majestic yet creepy presence, and the trees to wither. He was dressed as an archaeologist still, and he apparently was still thinking of going to the Land of Make-believe.
"The citizens of Make-believe are in trouble! The Bowser Sphinx is after them!" Bo-bobo shouted. He made a mad dash across the desert, causing several birds from overhead to turn into roasted turkey. He stopped in an area with bits of green grass growing out of the ground, and it didn't appear to be a mirage either. It was there that he noticed a random group of desert merchants roasting, braising, and tenderizing Serviceman, who was their new catch for a roast!
"Noo! That citizen of Make-believe is in danger! I'll save youuuuu--!!"
Bo-bobo lept forth with Kisame's (From Naruto) Samehada sword (Which he had painted pink) and swung it so hard that the sand shot upward and sent all the passerbyers skyward! Bo-bobo wiped his brow in triumph.
"Justice always wins…"
"Sir Bo-bobo…"
Bo-bobo turned around and saw a crispy Serviceman shedding tears of thanks and happiness. "I don't know what to say…"
"It's no trouble, citizen of Make-believe…" Bo-bobo said, putting a hand on his head. He glanced at him again, and then yelped in shock.
"Oh my god! You're not from Make-believe! You're Itachi from Naruto! Well, I just killed your master, the Bowser Sphinx, so now you're useless, dill weed!" With that mediocre insult out of the way, Bo-bobo proceeded to toss Serviceman into the mouth of a goat, which was then eaten by rabid squirrels. Bo-bobo began to rummage through the mailman's letter carrier when a particular blue-skinned man dressed as Little Bo Peep showed up.
"Okay, give me back my sword you meanie potato!" he whined.
"You let me borrow it for money, remember?" Bo-bobo said bluntly.
"Oh yeah! Will you pay me now?"
/BAM!/
Bo-bobo pulled a small pistol from nowhere, and Kisame was dead and bleeding, much like what would happen in a Family Guy moment. Bo-bobo was reading a baking magazine as he walked onto the grassy area.
"Huh? Why is there so much grass here? And it's gotten far less hot too…" Bo-bobo said quietly. He continued to walk as he spotted several green palm trees, some which were bearing citrus fruit. Bushes were soon appearing along the path, and so were clear pools of fresh, clean water. He hadn't realized it, but Bo-bobo was walking into an oasis.
"Yay, finally I can relax and find the two fruits that the descendant wants!" Bo-bobo ran inside as he ate the page from the baking magazine.
Crimson Desert (Oasis)
Bo-bobo could feel a beat of calm and a rush of jazzy breezes as he entered the warm, welcoming oasis. Fruits of the desert and lush green grass stretched for miles, and crystal clear, cool pools of water topped the cake. He collapsed underneath a tree and exhaled a huge breath as he slowly nodded off.
"Now I can rest for a while…and think about…that dream I had…why did I have it?"
/SPLASH!/
"Huh!?"
Bo-bobo shot up as he heard a splash come from the largest pool in the oasis. It seemed to be that someone was swimming in it. He crept to behind the bushes and peeked from behind, faintly catching a glimpse of a female body.
"Ah!" Bo-bobo half-whispered. He shot back behind the bush and coughed. "Better not…that would be indecent…wait…"
Bo-bobo put his ear to the bush and heard the person bathing giggle. The voice belonged to a teenage girl, definitely. And it was a very familiar girl at that!
"Beauty…?"
From behind the bush, Bo-bobo could hear the girl speak.
"This water feels sooo nice…it's cool and soothing at the same time. This is such a relief after that train wreck…but that makes me wonder…"
The naked Beauty glanced over at a collection of fruit she had gathered as she climbed out and squatted on a towel, drying herself.
"Why are there so many fruits that don't grow in the desert here? I know that the Ruby Region has an odd mystery behind it, but all of this? And there's those ruins too… but I guess it is nice! There aren't only citrus fruits, but also pineapples, bananas, pears, durians, mangoes, peaches-"
"THAT'S IT!!"
Beauty heard a shout from behind the bushes and saw a huge shadow leap out and gracefully steal a peach and a mango. He stumbled as he dashed back due to that he was wearing a blindfold to avoid peeping. Beauty was shocked to see who it was.
"Bo-bobo!"
"Beauty! It is you!" Bo-bobo shouted in joy as he tossed the fruit aside and began to hug Beauty in a strangle-hug that caused her to turn blue.
"Aww, Beauty I missed you soo much! Do you know how worried I was!? Oh, and sorry if I seem perverted since I'm hugging you while you're naked, but I'm wearing a blindfold, see!?" Bo-bobo turned his head in the opposite direction of Beauty's and she gently turned it to face hers.
"Bo-bobo…I'm happy to see you too…" Beauty said softly as she hugged him back. "Now can you let me get dressed, please?"
"Of course!" Bo-bobo turned away as Beauty re-dressed herself. She put her cloak on and sat beside her knightly friend. The two of them talked about their trials in the desert as they munched away at the fruit the mage collected.
"Gee, you sure are a man-magnet, aren't ya?" Bo-bobo said jokingly, rubbing Beauty's head. "Bo-bobo, it's not funny!" she retorted.
"I'm sorry. But I have a favor to ask of you. Will you give me a mango and a peach?"
"Why?"
"You see, that wayfarer who saved you knows a descendant of the ones who built the Ruins of Exodus. He says that she knows the mystery of the desert and the ruins if I bring her favorite and least favorite things to her. According to the wayfarer's clues, mangoes and peaches are her favorite things. But I can't figure out what her least favorite things are. You're a smart mage and all that, so can you help me?"
"Uhh, if you can tell me what the clue is, I'll help."
"Well…he said that they are 'blubbering fools,' and 'stupid in minds,' and have horrible looks…the most confusing part is that the word begins with the Japanese character 'ba.' What the hell is it!? What does she hate!?" Bo-bobo began to whine and sobbed large anime-style tears.
"It's easy. She hates idiots."
"WHAT!? How did you figure that out so fast?"
"The Japanese word for idiot is 'baka,' and idiots generally look like crud, and they blabber absolute crap. I think I know two idiots we can use." Beauty glanced at the completely burnt Serviceman, who was beaten and partially scarred from the stomach acid from the goat that nearly ate him. The knight and the mage smirked as Serviceman stared in confusion.
Fynbos Outpost (Don Patch)
"OKAY TROOPS! TIME TO MOVE OUT!!"
"Yessir!"
Don Patch, now miraculously running one hundred percent functional again, was leading an army of cybernetic soldiers from out of nowhere into the Fynbos Outpost. Chaos began to erupt from all corners as the walking sun-idiot began to rob people's valuables (as in dried pasta, fifth-generation video games, dead mice, and a rubber gorilla) and tried to take down the citizens, but failed miserably due to being distracted by the local spinach truck (Substitute the ice cream and you'll get it). OVER was witnessing the whole "phenomenon" and smirked in both triumph and irritation.
"I think I've found my first idiot…" his shrill voice returned.
Crimson Desert (Namero)
Namero forced himself through the northern part of the desert. The sands were calm today, so there was no worry for a sandstorm, yet the heat was still high and bright. The north of the desert was unusually calm-there were no enemies, few cacti, and little vegetation. The only thing that could be heard was the musical breeze that he had heard in the northwestern part where he slept. The sands were a lighter shade than the northwestern corner, but still had that ruby-oxide mix.
Namero finally stumbled on the northernmost end of the desert. There was nothing but bare sand all around, and in the center was a rock with an unusual-shaped hole carved within it.
"Huh? What is that?"
Namero's curiosity led him to the stone. He gingerly touched the stone hole, and a series of encrypted writings appeared under it.
"What is this?" He asked as he read the message:
Protect this place with all your soul, heir or heiress of this kingdom. Your ancestors protected these lands which are unlike any other in this world or this galaxy. Your power that was passed from father and mother for generations may ensure the good fate of the cosmos.
"The fate of the cosmos!?" Namero shouted as he continued to read.
Trust those who have trusted your heart for generations. However, do not trust the undoing of Leviathan III and his cybernetic descendants…
Be brave, be wise, be temperate, be full of justice, be faithful, be hopeful, and be loving-even when this world turns away from light.
Namero began to shudder again. Leviathan III. For some reason, he was feeling a strong wave of nostalgia.
"Gggh…ggggghhh…what is this!? Why is it whenever I see or hear that name I go nostalgic!? It's so confusing!"
Namero let out a loud scream in confusion as he began to run for any place he could stop, rest, and breathe. Along the way, he ran over two particular people and did a face-plant.
"Agh…I'm sorry…I'm in a rush, and so-hey!"
Namero discovered that it was Bo-bobo and Beauty that he had run into! And Serviceman was hanging from a pole as if he were a roasted beast.
"Sir Bo-bobo…and Beauty-san…how fares the desert?" Namero asked as if he were a strict count like he was back in Sapphire Village.
"Namero-kun, there's no need to be shy. I can tell that you had a hard time in the desert. We all have. So please…" Beauty said with concern as she put her hands in Namero's. The count's cheeks turned pink.
"Oh…here's that feeling again…what is making me so anxious about this feeling? It's so…warm…"
"Namero-san, we're taking an idiot to the descendant of the Ruins of Exodus. I'll explain along the way." Bo-bobo engaged into conversation with Namero as Beauty looked at the count.
"I feel odd…and unusually warm…I sort of feel this way about He-kun too, but…this is different somehow…it's…a little more…intensive…"
Fynbos Outpost
"Wallow in fear at my power, fool!"
Overhead, the current party could hear the shrill voice change of OVER the wayfarer, holding a freshly-baked Don Patch in his hands. He spotted the party at the outpost entrance and gasped.
"Oh, if it isn't Sir Bo-bobo. Come this way," he said calmly as his voice went masculine again. The quartet slowly walked toward the wayfarer's house with reluctance, as the man gracefully bowed at them.
"Okay, have you bought the descendant's favorite and least favorite things for her?" he asked politely.
"Yup! A mango, a peach, and a freshly cooked idiot!" Bo-bobo said in sheer triumph.
"And I seem to have come across an idiot myself. Follow me, Sir Bo-bobo." The wayfarer crept slowly into his home, which was suspiciously dark. Bo-bobo saw his shadow disappear up a stairwell, which lead to the roofs of the outpost houses.
"Huh? Where did he go?" Beauty asked. Namero spotted a pair of wooden doors swinging closed in front of a pale yellow house. The three of them walked inside where the wayfarer sat on a brown couch.
"OVER. You have her favorite and least favorite things. Now where is the descendant?" Bo-bobo asked in suspicion, ready for a fight if needed.
"I've been with you this whole time, Sir Bo-bobo." The wayfarer's voice became femininely shrill as it had done several times before.
"What!?"
Silence befell the room as OVER wordlessly stood atop the table and tossed off his cloak…to reveal a female anthropomorphic torpedo in front of their very eyes!
"EEEEEHHHHHH!?"
The torpedo winked a rather sexy wink, her large black eyes shining. Her body was a vivid shade of dark gray, made of powerful steel and titanium. The code number P-35 was etched on her left side. Muscular pale-skinned arms and legs stuck from outside of her, wearing a pair of shiny red high heels. A circular mark that made a dash at the end was marked over her code number.
"Congrats, Sir Bo-bobo! You have figured out my riddles and in exchange, I will guide you to the Ruins of Exodus that my ancestors built ages ago!" the torpedo woman smiled, her red lipstick shining. Everyone began to freak out and sweatdrop.
"Uhh…torpedo-san…" Beauty began.
"Ah-ah! The name's Torpedo Girl, a.k.a Cybernetic Weapons Unit P-35! I had a real name too, but that was a long time ago, before I was turned into this."
"Errm, right…Torpedo Girl-san? Are you really the descendant of the builders of the Ruins of Exodus?"
"That's right sweetie! I'm the latest in the bloodline! Seems weird, huh?"
"That's not the only thing…you were a man during the time you followed us…HOW!?"
"That man is my guardian, OVER. We got in a tiny accident in a labratory once, and well…now we share the same body…but we seem to communicate really well together when we need to transform. It's also good to know a man who absolutely can't STAND idiots! That is why I love him so…aaah!" Torpedo Girl drifted away into female happiness with a huge blush on her face. Namero stuck his tongue out.
"But what did you want two fruits and two idiots for?" Bo-bobo asked.
"Simple! I forgot to finish my grocery shopping today, and I needed the last two fruits needed for my energy strength smoothie! Tee hee!" Everyone collapsed. "And I need the strength to destroy these two idiots, because I absolutely HATE idiots!" Torpedo Girl said as several veins appeared on her head. She put the smoothie ingredients into a blender, blended it, drank it all in one shot, and cracked her knuckles as she began to blaze, walking toward Don Patch and Serviceman.
"OKAY IDIOTS! GET READY FOR A BEATING SO HARD THAT NOT EVEN YOUR MOM WILL RECOGNIZE YOU! I HATE IDIOTS--!!"
Torpedo Girl blasted into space and began to pound away at her victims relentlessly. Screams were nonstop as she blasted, danced, punched, kicked, performed "La Cucaracha," and drove the Pizza Planet truck across the entire region, running them over and over again. After an hour, Torpedo Girl returned with her victims, who were reduced to a pile of ash.
"Kyaaaah! They're dying!" Beauty shrieked.
"That's what idiots deserve. They cause nothing but trouble for us smarts. Let 'em die."
"Gaaah!" Bo-bobo's aura began to shine. "Torpedo Girl! I will never forgive you for killing my friends! Take this! Super Fist of the Nose Hair-"
"I'll join your team!" Torpedo Girl said sweetly as she held out her bribery price, a piece of white bread.
"DEAL!!" Bo-bobo barked like a puppy and dashed for his favorite thing, the white bread. Beauty and Namero collapsed in frustration.
"Well, I guess that adds another to your party, eh?" Torpedo girl slipped on a pair of purple wristbands and blew an air kiss to the audience.
Torpedo Girl joined your party!
Press the down "C" button to have Torpedo Girl pick you up and dash you across dangerous terrain! She's so sturdy and fast that enemies get blown away and you can avoid dangerous traps! A descendant of the ruin builders, Torpedo Girl is a tough magi and an intense fighter to boot, making her helpful in battle too! And as a hater of idiots, she can also eliminate any idiots who dare cross her path!
Torpedo Girl's Status
Current Level: Level 27
Max HP: 1024/1024
Max MP: 643/643
Max SP: 25
Attack Power: 57
Defense Power: 34
Magic Power: 43
Magic Defense: 30
Class: Red Mage
Equipment: Thorned Mace, Ribbon, Focusband Plus
Regular Skills: 23
Special Skills: 6
Unique Skills: 1
"Wow. That's all I have to say." Namero said with awe upon hearing Torpedo Girl's stats. "And that narrator still isn't dead either…"
"Narrator!? Where!? Is this narrator an idiot!?" Torpedo Girl screeched, grabbing Namero's collar.
"As much an idiot as one ever will be." Namero replied.
"I'll be back!" Torpedo Girl spoke in an accent similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger. She blasted into the beyond where the narrator was enjoying Cox Digital Cable along with canned beans.
"Man, this is the life! No one's here to tell me what to do! Yeah!" The narrator wallowed in happiness as he watched an old VHS of The Terminator. His little party was interrupted as Torpedo Girl crashed into his house.
"Do you think that this happy, idiotic life of yours will last long, idiot!?" Torpedo Girl caused the house to rumble, and the narrator wallowed in fear.
"Oh, why me…"
/BAM! POW! WHOP! PUNCH! DONK! KA-POWIE! BZZZT! There's a snake in my boot!/
Three hours later…
"Idiot annihilated!" Torpedo Girl said in triumph as she gently landed back into the house. The two teenagers entered a state of doom and gloom, especially since Bo-bobo was still loving over his white bread. This was going to be a long trip for them…
Crimson Desert (Northern Faction, outside the ruins)
"He-kun!"
Beauty shouted the boy's name as she had finally realized that Heppokomaru was not with them. Everyone turned around when she shouted.
"We still haven't found He-kun! How stupid am I!?"
"You aren't, sweetie. He's been kidnapped by the spirit of the ruins."
"What!?" Everyone gasped as Torpedo Girl spoke.
"I had a vision last night. I could hear the voice of the spirit of the ruins laughing in triumph. He had a High Spirit in his hands! And at that, he also had a human boy hostage. He had spiky silver hair and wore a white shirt…would that be him?"
"That is him! We have to rescue He-kun now!" Beauty shouted in worry.
"Don't fret, Beauty. We'll save him. But we need to summon the ruins from underground first!" Bo-bobo shouted. The party made it to the area of the desert with the stone hole and the encryption located in its middle.
"Okay Sir Bo-bobo, do you have the object called the Pure Heart Pulse Ruby with you?" Torpedo Girl asked.
"Indeed I do." Bo-bobo spoke. He pulled it out of his pocket, and noticed that it began to shine and pulsate like crazy. Bo-bobo quickly dashed over to the stone and inserted it into its slot. It fit perfectly!
"Okay everyone! Stand back! The Ruins of Exodus will be rising…right about…NOW!" Torpedo Girl shouted as she forced the others to duck away.
Nothing happened.
"What? We inserted the stone. Why is nothing happening?" Beauty asked curiously.
"I-I don't know…maybe there's something wrong?" Torpedo Girl wondered. She and Beauty walked over to where the stone was. Torpedo Girl put her hand on the stone, checking to see if it fit properly.
"It fits fine, and the stone has the power it needs. But why won't the ruins rise!?"
"Maybe there's something wrong with the rock it's in?" Beauty wondered as she put her hand on the stone to pick it up. The second she did so, however, the stone began to glow a bright ruby-colored light, and an earthquake began to form!
"Watch out!" Torpedo Girl shouted as she dragged Beauty away. The massive quake took the entire Ruby Region by storm, causing villages and cities to tremble and shake. Even lands beyond that were a bit taken in by the quake. The force dramatically took over a magical presence as a massive stone building began to slowly rise from the sands below.
"There it is…the Ruins of Exodus!!" Torpedo Girl shouted.
"What!? I can't hear you!!" Bo-bobo shouted.
"I said that they're the Ruins of Exodus!!"
"The new Justin Timberlake song sucks!? True that!!"
"Who the hell is that!? IDIOT!!"
The ruins continued to rise and rise. The sky became dark as night and the sandstorms grew to a mammoth size. The storm never seemed to end.
And after a moment, everything was calm.
The party slowly looked upward to see the majesty of the Ruins of Exodus standing before them. It was a square-shaped mammoth-sized building made of shining yellow marble. Statues of old figures of the kingdom were sculpted outside. An eerie light shone from the entrance.
"Oh…" everyone stared in awe at the majesty of the building. They could feel power rippling from inside.
"This…is the Ruins of Exodus…the first palace and tomb of the first kings and queens of the Don Kingdom…King Exodus himself made the design of the structure. It became a legendary place where power dwells and those who lived inside were happy, as were those who lived around it…" Torpedo Girl spoke.
"Wow…" Beauty said.
"But as the ages passed, the entire area here formed into desert, and the hospitality of this place was lost. The last queen who knew of its existence buried it away with the power of the Pure Heart Pulse Ruby so that no one can plunder its power…but someone has."
"Who?"
"The third prince, then king, of the Don Kingdom, Hydrate Cidolfus Hikaru-no-Kami III. His spirit was said to have been full of vengeance…he did not have the special power the rulers of the kingdom did for unknown reasons, thus he died of illness alone and wandered the ruins for ages, along with his five companions and servants. Legend says that he had returned to the surface to seek the true heir of the kingdom and usurp his or her power…"
"But isn't Princess Patches the current heir of the kingdom?" Bo-bobo asked.
"Rumor has it that Princess Patches may not be the real princess."
Everyone gasped.
"With his bratty ways and weak ability, it's not much of a surprise that he would seem fake, but we don't know for sure. This has never happened before, and it is unlikely that it actually has. But that's not important right now. What matters is that Hydrate III is holding your friend hostage in there, and we have to save both him and the High Spirit…"
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. The six party members ascended the steps of the ruins and went inside…
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Inside the Ruins of Exodus
The party entered the ruins and a great hallway aligned with statues and coffins was spread out before them. Everyone 'oohed' and 'aahed' as they slowly walked inside.
"This was the great entrance hall. Guests from all around would be greeted here," said Torpedo Girl. Since she knew about the ruins the most, Beauty agreed to let her be the "tattling guide" here.
"It's beautiful…it looks even larger on the inside than it does the outside…" Namero noticed the high ceiling adorned with white and golden octagons, not unlike one would find in a train station.
"This was definitely the old palace. My mother told me about this place when I was a child," said Bo-bobo.
"And these coffins here are neato! Look! A dead cactus!" Don Patch said with stupidity as he opened a coffin containing a poisonous cactus.
"Idiot! Don't-"
Alas, it was too late. A swarm of poisonous cacti began to take over the room. Torpedo Girl forced the others to stand back as she readied her magical mace for a magic spell.
"Mana mana errate errate!
Ex somno existant, exurens Salamandra, inimiccm involvat igne.
(Everything burning with the Flame of Purification, Lord of Destruction and Sign of Rebirth Reside in my hand!)
Ex somno existant, exundans Undina, inimicum immergrat alveum.
(Let the wave-tossed Undine appear from Sleep and Submerge the Enemy into the Riverbed!)
VINCTUS AQUARIOUS ET CAPTUS FLAMMEUS!"
(Water Binder and Red Blaze!!)
Two spells emerged from the torpedo's hand at once, causing red-hued water and silver-hued fire to intertwine and combine their properties. Within moments, the room was still.
"Two spells at once!? And powerful ones too!" Beauty noted as the blaze from the flames died in the torpedo's hand.
"That is the special ability of a Red Mage; while they do not gain many skills unique or special to them, they can cast multiple spells at once. I found it useful to become one, as well as training with a mace to make up for power.
"Truly impressive…" Namero noted. Better than Serviceman, that's for sure.
"Hey!" Serviceman squeaked. He shuddered in fear as a powerful presence took over the room. Everyone gathered round to protect themselves from the danger.
"Bleaaagh Blohaaaaaahhhghh! Bleck! Welcome, intruders! I am the fearsome King Hydrate Cidolfus Hikaru-no-Kami III, one of the first monarchs of the Don Kingdom! Who dares set foot in my palace!? Reveal yourselves!"
Beauty began to shake. "I know that voice…"
"We are the Shinsetsu Nonsense Team, and I am Sir Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, the Nose Hair Knight!" Bo-bobo shouted.
"True Theory Nonsense Team? What kind of retarded name is that!?" Namero thought.
"Sir Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo! I was expecting you…hah! You can't possibly rescue the High Spirit I have here! Leave at once or face the consequences!!"
"Huh!?" Bo-bobo looked up and saw that sand was beginning to fall into the room below! Within seconds, a waterfall of sand began to fall on top of the team, causing them to scream.
"Waaah! Bo-bobo!" Namero shouted.
"Noo! That idiot caused this to happen!" Torpedo Girl whined as she stuffed Don Patch's face with scorpions. The robot didn't even blink.
"My mail! Not again! Somebody! See the light and use it to guide your way!" Serviceman shouted as he performed "service" again.
"Crud…there has to be a way out! There has to be--!!" Bo-bobo shouted as the sands rose higher, up to where his feet couldn't touch the floor.
Beauty began to wallow in despair. "That voice…it was Master Hydrate's voice…is he-!?"
The sands rose higher as the room began to drown within it.
End of Part 4
-The team is in danger…they're about to drown in sand! Can Sir Bo-bobo's nose hairs, bad puns, and raw power get them out of this predicament!? And will they save Heppokomaru and the High Spirit in time!? Read on and find out!
-Eheheh…the next part will hopefully be the last before the chapter ends…that means I have to combine the trek into the ruins AND the boss battle, plus I have a special ending to the chapter in store for you…but summer break is coming for me, and there's only one week of school left! Yesss!
-But really, whenever I'm slacking off from studying, I'll create the fifth part. Please bear with me, it'll be a pain in the ass to type…waah…
FOOTNOTES
-Mangoes and peaches both do not grow naturally in desert climates as described; mangoes grow in temperate and subtropical climates in Southeast Asia, while peaches grow in mainly only temperate climates, especially in the Mediterranean region, originating from China.
-"Baka" isn't the only way to say "idiot" in Japanese. In fact, "baka" is the Tokyo dialect for the word. Another way of saying idiot is "aho," which is the Osaka dialect of the word. While using each word in its perspective region doesn't do that much damage, switching the terms (as "aho" to Tokyo and "baka" to Osaka) is extremely offensive, which it seems more as if the person would call the person they're insulting a retard than just an idiot.
-Words including "The Land of Make-believe" and "King Friday" are references to the old children's TV show "Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood.
-According to the official Bo-bobo fanbook, Bobobo-bo Bo-boBON, Bo-bobo's favorite thing is white bread.