Bobobo's Epic RPG Adventure! Chapter 3, Part 4, a bobobo-bo bo-bobo fanfic

"Fithos…lusec…wecos…inosec…

Fithos…lusec…wecos…inosec…

"DON PATCH! SHUT THE FREAKIN' HELL UP!" Namero screamed into a megaphone, causing Don Patch's sound system to explode.

Having noticed that the reading audience was present, Namero cleared his composure and swapped his megaphone for a microphone with a little pink ribbon attached to it. He subbed his anger for a happy smile, which made Don Patch's top half explode into bits.

"Ahem…now then, the recap. Where to start…oh yeah, Asphalt Palace. We now have our one ticket to rescuing Beauty…but we have to find it in a massive stack of needles. Who knows where those needles have been? We now have to dive in and find it…I hope we can make it!"

With a happy wave, Namero dashed off. When he was out of sight, Don Patch re-materialized and began to sing again.

"Excitate vos e somno,

Liberi mei, cunae sunt non,

Excitate vos e somno,

Liberi fatali somnus est non.

Surgite!
Invenite!

Veni hortum veritatis

Horti verna veritatis!

Ardente veritate urite mala mundi

Ardente veritate incendite tenebras mundi

Valete, liberi

Diebus fatalibus!

Fithos lusec wecos inosec,

Fithos lusec wecos inosec

Fithos lusec wecos inosec!

Don Patch's voice began to rise into a beautiful Latin aria, making opera audiences that appeared from nowhere cheer wildly. When the robot completed his song, he greedily accepted the flowers that were thrown at him and waved in thanks.

"Thank you citizens of the Continent of Deo! Now put your money where my mouth is and get the hell out of here before I call the cops!"

The audience fell silent. Don Patch sweatdropped at what he had just said. In response, several bouncers came in, ate his flowers and dragged him off the stage.

-X-

Chapter 3

"Invincible" Master Giga, Spirit Eater

(Part 4: "A coelo usuque ad centrum, actus non facit reum nici mens sit rea!")

"Okay, can somebody please explain why the title of this part of the chapter is in Latin?" Suzu questioned, having just noticed.

"Dunno. Don't care. But it sounds really cool." Bo-bobo stated flatly, picking his nose.

The Nonsense Team was walking rather casually into the needlestack, completely unaware of the needles that were already stuck inside them. When Serviceman let out a large burp, everyone immediately noticed what was happening, and already they were shouting in pain.

"AH! OW! YOW! EEK! ACK! GUH! GYECK! OOF! BUUH! YOU FAIL!"

The team had begun to force their way into the needles. It hurt like hell, and already Don Patch's eye was ripped out. Torpedo Girl, being made of titanium, was the only one having little difficulty with the task. As for poor Serviceman, his "servicing" the needles only made things five times as painful…

"Servi-ow! Ow! Yyyoooww! This really really FREAKIN' HURTS!" A needle forced itself onto the sheeted pervert's nether region.

"Then stop lifting your sheet!" Torpedo Girl shouted across.

"But I can't go on without servicing at least three thousand times a day! I'll feel empty, disgusting and hollow, like Chinese food!"

"Dude, seriously, you suck as a mailman and you have no sense of moral dignity! You suck at life!"

"Coelum non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt, Torpedo Girl! So there!"

Torpedo Girl's eyes went wide as she raised an eyebrow. "What…the freak tow…was that…?"

"I just insulted you! In Latin, baby! Oh yeah!" Serviceman raised a fist in the air.

Torpedo Girl's face fell flat. "You have no idea what you just said, don't you?"

Serviceman slumped in shame. "No I don't…

Namero was struggling through the needles. His entire back was pricked thoroughly, many needles sticking out of them. Cuts were emerging on his face, blood oozing down in small droplets. Visions of the trapped Beauty were the only thing that kept him from giving up.

"Argh…owch…damn. There's gotta be an easier way to do this…"

The space of needles he was in was too tight for him to draw his blade. Namero wasn't very adept at magic, but it was well worth a try.

"Might as well give it a shot…"

Namero pulled out a small magic wand with a star at the end, the wand almost resembling a toy. He clustered his energy together, and with several deep breaths, formed magical power that emitted a lime green sparkling rush. He exhaled, shouting out one of the few magical spells he knew:

"Flans exarmatio!" (Wind flower, disarm weapon!)

Namero shot his magical wand forth, bringing forth a large gust of lime green winds that glittered and blew away a few needles, rendering them into bright green flower petals. He had created a new passageway for himself, albeit a small one.

"All right!" Namero shouted in triumph. The second he did, however, the winds he had made blew back at him and began ripping his clothes apart, turning them into petals!

"HUUUUH!?"

Namero screamed as most of his clothes were rendered to petals. All that remained were his boxers, his shoes and socks, and half of his torn white dress shirt and half-ripped tie. Now not only was he freezing, he was being poked even more than before, and he would also have public humiliation to face.

"YOU FAIL!!" Bo-bobo shouted from the other side for no reason whatsoever.

Namero's eyes turned white and rounded. "What's with this already!?"

-X-

Yankee Republic, Yankee Medical Center, Room 471

Chagecha, having just arrived to the hospital, dashed in, ran into the gift shop, and purchased an adorable nurse doll that played the song Someone's waiting for you from the movie The Rescuers when you twisted its head. He also collected some daises and a dark chocolate bar. He then ran over an old lady in a wheelchair and blew away the head director of Geikatsu High. Finally, he accidentally smashed Kenny McCormack into a wall, thus killing him.

The president rode the elevator up to the fourth floor and found Room 471 moments later. The presents he had practically shoplifted from the hospital gift shop were his way of showing gratitude for war assistance.

"Hello? Are you awake in there?" Chagecha asked politely, rapping on the door gently.

"Get the hell outta my face, Chagecha!" Doraji, the nine-year old child worker screamed. He decided to crash Heppokomaru's room and pig on the free cookies the boy received.

Angry, Chagecha swung the door open, scaring both boys. He violently grabbed Doraji's head and tossed him out the window, where he landed inside the home of none other than Roy from Fire Emblem. The fifteen-year old swordsman was not a happy camper due to rejection from the latest Super Smash Bros. sequel, and when Doraji wound up landing in the swordsman's pile of sundae pie boxes and ruined them, things became unpleasant quickly…

Chagecha wiped his hands together; Heppokomaru sweatdropped in confusion. The president of the republic put on a huge smile and sat down by the teenage gunner.

"Well now, how are you feeling, young man? All better?" he said with a grin, bearing his pearly whites.

"Sure…"

"What's your name, boy?"

"It's Heppokomaru, sir."

"Heppokomaru, eh? That's an odd name. I feel like I'm seeing double, considering that you and Masato look so much alike."

"Masato?"

"He's the vice president of this place."

"Vice president!? What!?"

Heppokomaru leapt out of bed and looked out his window, seeing the city sights of the Yankee Republic. He became upset and shocked, knowing that he was now not only far away from his friends, but out of the Don Kingdom as well.

"Isn't the Yankee Republic beautiful? I sure think it is," Chagecha said simply. Heppokomaru didn't say anything. He slumped to the cold marble floor in fear and grew completely upset.

"I'm not…."

"What's the matter, Heppokomaru?" Chagecha asked in concern.

"I'm…I can't…I'm not supposed to be here…where am I anyway!?" Heppokomaru was beginning to grow hysterical.

Chagecha's eyes opened wide. "Why, you're in the Yankee Republic, which is a ways south of the Don Kingdom. This nation is your kingdom's ally, so there's no need to be hostile."

Heppokomaru barely listened. He bit his lip and began to quiver. How was he to return to the kingdom quickly now?

"What's wrong?" Chagecha put his hand on the white-haired boy's shoulder.

Heppokomaru sat down on his bed, eyes closed in despair. "I'm supposed to be with Sir Bo-bobo-san and his companions right now. We're trying to rescue our third High Spirit and also save one of our friends, who was kidnapped…"

Chagecha's face turned into one that showed sympathy. He felt pity, not worthless pity, but genuine feelings of sorrow for the boy.

"And along the way…I was nearly…murdered…left for dead, even. They've probably forgotten about me by now…"

Tears welled in the boy's eyes again.

"…Dammit, I'm not supposed to be crying! I'm the leader of a high-class arms force…oh, wait, I handed my authority over to Crosk…"

"That's right, emo! I'm the head honcho now! Whooo!" Crosk called over the distance, living it up in his luxury Mustang with Fina at his side. He drove off into the city, running Weegee over along the way.

Heppokomaru had lost most of his hope. When Crosk drove into the daylight, the white-haired boy slumped back onto his bed and began to break down. Chagecha caught him and began to hug him with gentle warmth.

"Hey, hey! It's alright. What matters is that you're safe for the time being. I'm sure that wherever your friends are, they're completely fine and well, and they're just as worried about you as you are they."

Heppokomaru sat up and dried his tears. "You really think so?"

"For certain."

Heppokomaru sat back into his bed and covered himself again. "Thanks. I feel a bit better now."

"No problem. I need to head back to work, if it isn't too much trouble." Chagecha tipped his hat and began to walk out the door.

"Wait!"

Chagecha turned around. "What is it?"

"What's your name, sir?"

Chagecha smirked his usual energetic smile. "Call me Chagecha. A pleasure to meet you, young man."

With a nod, Chagecha exited the room, and Heppokomaru was able to fall back asleep peacefully, the visions of his friends flowing in his dreams.

President Chagecha's Office

Longhorn Onizawa was raiding the donuts and other junk food that was delivered to Chagecha's office for the day. Unlike his other companions, Onizawa had no official position in office; instead, he was the president's messenger. However, with war talks and secretive meetings occurring these days, there was nothing to deliver or send out in the open, and he was constantly fed up with his boss' loathsome abuse. Himawari, the secretary, entered the office while Onizawa was playing about on Chagecha's old PlayStation, running a Final Fantasy VIII video game into the ground.

"Hah! Take that, sorceress bitch! No one can even stand up to my might, not even that cock-bucket Sephiroth! And if I had a woman like Quistis…"

Himawari sweatdropped at Onizawa's repeating button-mashing and groping the television screen whenever Quistis attacked or had a shining moment. Kotarou, one of Chagecha's representatives, pulled out a piece of paper, wrote "virgin" on it in pen, stuck it on Onizawa's back, and walked away.

"I'm baaaaaack!" Chagecha sang as he charged into the office with gusto. His presence somehow made the electrical fuse box explode.

"Ah…ah…" Onizawa turned off the PlayStation and immediately hid the evidence with a creepy smile. Chagecha took no notice, much to his relief.

"Um, how was that boy in the hospital, sir?" Kotarou asked with dignity.

Chagecha took a sip of coffee and began setting his computer up. "He's in a bit of shock right now from some past trauma and the fact that he's separated from his friends on an important mission, so he may need some more time to rest. Don't worry though, I'll get him here."

Himawari stacked together some forms and sighed in exhaustion, bringing in the day's reports. "Mr. President, the empire has sent us a grant about this possible oncoming war, and the emperor and his council have all agreed that a world-spanning war must commence for their own benefit. With this war they wish to bring themselves to the seat of power they "think they deserve," and they also want to usurp the power the Diamond Nation of the Don Kingdom possesses."

Chagecha lit a cigar as he listened. "I see. What else?"

"The empire gladly wrote that they will not harm the Yankee Republic if we give them a five billion yen payout for the emperor's palace, which has been demolished from a meteor shower. They also want to take Chaveleh Nation as their own province."

"Oh man, now we may have to really step in if the Nation of Leaves doesn't do anything…" Kotarou spoke with a hint of fear.

"And there's one last important thing here, and it baffles even me…"

"What is it?" Chagecha asked.

"It's…"

Before Himawari could finish, Washio and Tiger Mask burst into the room, both of them panting frantically. Tiger Mask appeared to have been beaten up and thrown in a dumpster, judging from the way he smelled.

"Is something the matter!?" Chagecha shouted.

"President Chagecha…the vice president…" Tiger puffed.

Chagecha immediately sensed danger. He dashed at Tiger and picked him up by his scruff.

"What happened to Masato!? Why isn't he back yet!?"

"Mr. President," Washio began nervously. "Masato is…"

"What is it!?"

"Masato has been…"

-X-

Don Kingdom, Asphalt Palace

With his new kidnap victim in hand, who was none other than Masato, Captain Battleship smirked evilly at the poor boy, who was bound to a chair with his hands tied behind his back with a thick rope.

"Hahaha! Oh Heppokomaru, Giga will be so happy now that I've reclaimed you!" The captain giggled like a child, apparently unaware that he didn't actually kidnap the right boy.

"For the last damn time, my name is Masato! I'm the vice president of the Yankee Republic! Youseem to havekidnapped the wrong guy!" Masato wailed, tears shooting out of his eyes.

"Nonsense, Heppokomaru! You can just stop denying who you really are and be a good boy and become my boss' hostage!" The captain ruffled Masato's golden blonde hair, which irritated the teenage vice president. The captain then suddenly became fiercely angry and punched the boy in the jaw, making him caterwaul.

"Stop caterwauling! Let's get moving, Heppokomaru! And don't you dare try to fight back at him!" The captain roughly grabbed Masato's chair and began charging into Giga's room.

"My name is Masato! And I don't know how to fight!" Masato whined.

Meanwhile, Giga was in his bedroom watching Bo-bobo's team attempt to get through the needlestack, smirking as they were tortured. The Beauty doll was watching in horror from Giga's bed's head rest, which was actually a bookcase.

"Faber est suae quisque fortunae. Fiat iustitia et perat mundus. Fiat voluntas tua," Giga said to himself as he watched the team's somewhat futile attempt to gain the one item that would revert Beauty back to her normal state.

"What's with the Latin? I think that's an epic fail…" Beauty thought with a sweat drop.

Captain Battleship charged into the room moments later with his hostage in hand, who was still kicking and wailing. Huffing and puffing, the captain pointed his hands in Masato's direction.

"Master Giga, I present you your hostage, Heppokomaru!" he shouted with pride as an array of a red and white striped background spun around behind him.

Both Giga and Beauty sweatdropped. The two of them were thinking in unison, "What a f—king idiot…"

"Uhhh…" Giga began awkwardly. "Captain, that's not Heppokomaru."

The captain's smile and spinning background vanished as he did a double-take on Masato. He was thoroughly convinced that he had the right boy.

"Ah…yeah it is. Look at his spiky white hair!"

"THAT BOY HAS BLONDE HAIR YOU IDIOT! YOU KIDNAPPED THE WRONG GUY! YOU TOTALLY FAIL!!"

Captain Battleship melted into a puddle of humiliation as the words "you fail" rang in his head. He felt like a complete idiot at that moment.

"Haec olim meminisse iuvabit…" He thought to himself as his melted self ran across the floor.

Giga slapped his forehead in agony. Taking a look at Masato, who was nervous, he went over to him, grabbed a gag, and placed it on his mouth as he went to get some more rope.

"He said you were the vice president of the Yankee Republic, and that I didn't know! Even if he didn't get me the right guy, I should keepyou here…"

Giga finished binding Masato in place. He then lazily grabbed a newspaper and headed toward the bathroom. The poor boy was left alone, in danger, in a kingdom he knew little about. He began to frantically breathe faster in panic.

"N-no…ahh…Senpai…somebody…please help me!"

-X-

Back at the needlestack…

"I hereby proclaim this portion of the needlestack in the name of Lyndis and all that is she-cat and buxom!" Serviceman, now painted over with sacred markings, placed his hand on a massive needle that nearly ripped through his hand. If he couldn't fight against the needles, he may as well ought to be one with them…

"YOU FAIL!" Bo-bobo shouted from across.

Don Patch was picking his nose and reading a book titled Complete idiot's guide to gaining hot cat girls while managing to avoid getting constipated and become the heroine without getting implants in less than twenty minutes. The mission to him now was out the window.

"YOU ALSO FAIL!" Bo-bobo shouted again.

Torpedo Girl had fallen asleep, and OVER had taken her place. He began to violently rip Don Patch apart and then shaved Serviceman's head.

"YOU REALLY FAIL!" Bo-bobo shouted a third time.

"WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN, PUNK!?" OVER violently shook his fist.

"Ah…crud…"

Namero was the only one who was still focused on the mission. He risked the pain by using his tongue to find the hay thread. He was able to lick the glass tube it was in, but failed to fully grab at it.

"Grr…dammit!" Namero began to rant, his eyes crossing in different directions as if he were possessed. He then took Don Patch and ate the top half of his body.

"EPIC FAIL! TIMES TEN!" Bo-bobo shouted. OVER was fed up with Bo-bobo's "failure" nonsense and began to charge at him, the needles being somehow unable to pierce his skin or slow him down.

"Okay dill weed, you're so screwed over that not even vultures will want to prey on you…"

Bo-bobo, now dressed in a school swimsuit underneath a sailor fuku top, cat ears, and oval glasses, began picking wax out of his ear and forming a massive wax sculpture of SpopoBITCH (Hint hint). OVER came at him with bloodlust in his eyes, currently on the verge of decapitating the weird knight…

"Hey pumpkin, I made some bacon…"

Bo-bobo held up a pot of fresh, hot, artery-clogging bacon in front of OVER's face, making the white-haired man's attitude make a three hundred sixty degree turn. His face became chibi-like and innocent as he consumed the cooked pieces of pig.

"Now's my chance to escape…" Bo-bobo thought as he stuck his head in a mail box that came out of nowhere and vanished with a poof. OVER became incredibly pissed at the gesture so much that he and Torpedo Girl began to split apart!

"BEATI PAUPERES SPIRITU!"

OVER's scream in Latin shook the entire needlestack, causing it to fall apart. Namero sweatdropped at the man's stupidity and cluelessness as the hay with the thread landed into his hair.

"Hey Namero mai boi, there's a tick in yo hair!" Serviceman shouted in an obviously fake accent. OVER landed on top of him seconds later and killed him by smashing a stack of fat free potato chips in his face.

"Hey, beat it will ya? I'm on my break." Don Patch was loafing on a couch eating sour cream and onion potato chips.

Namero felt the top of his head and grasped the jar with the thread. With a yelp in surprise and happiness, their first task was now complete.

"This thread can transform Beauty back to normal…now we can assault the castle!" Namero shouted.

"Horray!" Torpedo Girl replied happily. "This calls for some victory music!" She grabbed Serviceman and set out an old fashioned vinyl record player out. She gave him a record and he placed it onto the player, and the theme song for the character Cait Sith from Final Fantasy VII began to play.

"TRACK SEVEN YOU IDIOT! TRACK SEVEN!" Torpedo Girl screamed at Serviceman, who wet himself as he was changing tracks. The song that was now set was none other than Liberi Fatali, the opening Latin number from Final Fantasy VIII.

"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Namero screamed, his spirit falling down a black hole.

"Whoo! I love this song!" Torpedo Girl shouted as she, Serviceman, and OVER danced along rather cheesy dance to it and sang it aloud.

"Fithos lusec wecos inosec!

Fithos lusec wecos inosec!

Excitate vos e somno,

Liberi mei cunae sunt non!

Excitate vos e somno

Liberi fatali somnus est non!"

"SHADDUP SHADDUP SHADDUP SHADDUP!" Namero screamed, licking at all three of the dancers. They were blown away and, shockingly, landed inside the third floor window of the castle.

Namero looked at it as if he made a huge mistake. "Ah…geez…"

"I have two words for you, Namero-chan."

Namero turned around and saw Bo-bobo using the needles from the needlestack for acupuncture. He practically resembled a needle monster with the ones he had stuck in his body.

"And they are…YOU…FAIL."

Veins exploded from Namero's head. His aura of anger was so strong that it alone was able to break down Asphalt Castle's front door.

-X-

Asphalt Palace, Third Floor (Giga's bedroom)

OVER and Torpedo Girl had somehow wound up together in the topmost room of the palace, which was none other than Giga's bedroom. Around them they saw nothing but lavish furniture, among them being a hostage and a doll in a cage.

"Ah! Torpedo Girl-san! At last!" Beauty thought in relief. Despite that she couldn't move, she tried shouting and making notions to the two to get their attention.

The formerly fused duo simply looked around the room for clues where Giga could be. Beauty gave up and settled herself with sadness in her face.

"I knew it…"

Meanwhile, Masato had been sitting behind Giga's bed near his balcony for a long while now, and after moving around a bit, he finally spotted the two that were in the room and began to shout through his gag frantically for help.

"Mmmf! Mmmmffhh!"

Torpedo Girl spun around and could see the kidnapped Masato in his chair, wriggling for help. She shrugged her shoulders and continued looking, much to Masato's chagrin.

"That…thing…I know she saw me…what's up with this!?" Masato cried in his head.

"Have you found anything yet?" OVER asked his companion, who he hadn't glanced at once.

"Nuh-uh. You?"

"Nope…"

The two of them were about to give up, until Torpedo Girl had accidentally tripped over one of Giga's dollhouse play sets (Why he had that is a mystery), landing right onto OVER's chest. The two of them cast their eyes at one another's for the first time, and that moment to them was more potent than any other.

The second their eyes met, music from West Side Story began to play behind them. Their black eyes gazed at one another like shiny marbles, reflecting new feelings, new feelings that had power, like spices. Torpedo Girl lifted herself up on a platform that came out of nowhere and lifted herself to about OVER's height.

OVER remained lost for words. He was finally able to break the ice, slowly, but surely.

"You're…not thinking I'm someone else…"

Torpedo Girl remained as motionless as he was. "I know you aren't…"

"…but have we met before?"

"I have a feeling we have…"

"I just knew…that something was bound to happen…but this is…"

"My hands are cold…"

Torpedo Girl placed her rigid, pale hands into OVER's larger ones. Both of them felt like ice.

"Yours too…"

Shyness was hindering the female torpedo's expression of these new, intense feelings. She gingerly placed her hand onto the man's face, tracing her finger around his cleft chin and his cheek.

"So warm…"

OVER's heart began to fly in fear and excitement as he took his fingers and lifted the torpedo's smooth, shiny exterior, tracing his index finger around her face.

"So beautiful…"

"Beautiful…"

The two of them silently drew closer, their lips jutting out slightly.

"There's so much to believe…this isn't a dream, is it?" OVER spoke.

"I've never lived my dreams before…but maybe now, I finally have…"

The romantic music behind them began to rise as they ever slowly drew closer and closer, until at long last, they kissed one another's lips. The music came to a full rise as their lips became moist with feelings of happiness, emotion, passion, and, most importantly, love.

Masato was looking on to the scene in absolute disgust and despair; here were two people who were in plain sight of him sharing their first kiss, and he was probably about to be beaten by Giga at some point. "Somebody kill me please…" he thought in agony, his eyes swirling.

OVER and Torpedo Girl were continuing to kiss, and it soon turned into an all-out foreplay session as the two of them landed on Giga's bed, which made both Beauty and Masato scream. The Cyber Knights J and Poet immediately barged into the room with hopes to battle the new couple, but instead found the two's foreplay session become much more explicit. They bore their teeth in shock and spun around awkwardly, exiting the bedroom.

"Ah…let's come back later, shall we?" Poet said awkwardly.

"Uh-huh…" J looked down, glum. Poet immediately picked up the suspicion as the two of them went to get a cup of coffee.

"You were a loser in high school, weren't you?" Poet asked bluntly.

"Yeeeeeep…"

-X-

Asphalt Palace, Second Floor

Serviceman was playing around with the Barbie dolls he had found in Giga's room on the second floor, completely ignoring the fact that a million of the grave robber's cybernetic guards were literally mashing him with their maces. Blood was emerging from the sheeted pervert's body in all directions, yet he was completely still as he opened up Barbie's "dream house."

"Lalalala…how was your day today, Ken? I just got me a downright good-looking…ahh! Ken you man-whore!" Serviceman joyously ripped off a Ken doll's head, covered it in toothpaste and tossed it at one of the guards, which caused his entire body to explode somehow. The other guards cowered in fear, dumped buckets of gas over themselves, lit themselves on fire with matches and ran away.

As the mailman giggled away, the Cyber Knights Pana, Sonic, and Carman entered the hallway with the lust for murder in their eyes. Serviceman stopped his playing for a moment and stood up with the actual trigger to battle in his eyes.

Pana stepped forth first, flashing one of his ring-shaped weapons. "Master Giga told us to kill off a bunch of vermin who're standing against him…are you one of them, pervy sheet man?"

Serviceman's eyes flashed with intensity. "And what if I was?"

"It's just that…no hard feelings, but you need to…"

With that, Pana volunteered to attack first, flipping onto an upside-down position and spinning rapidly, like a cycling wheel. Serviceman grabbed his crossbow and began to fire rapidly. All of his bolts bounced off and stuck themselves into the guards patrolling the vincity (and Kenny), intimidating Serviceman.

"Secret Technique: 360 degree spin!"

Pana gracefully leapt into the air and dove for the strike at Serviceman. The man about to be attacked simply smirked and pulled out a secret weapon as the blow lunged forth…

-X-

Asphalt Palace, Entrance

Namero had managed to drag Bo-bobo through the palace's first floor hallway. The décor of the palace was rather plain; the walls were a pale shade of ivory, the windows were made of cinnabar, and the floor tiling was in shades of olive and forest greens. Up above the remaining group could hear noises of a battle on the second floor. Sonic burst from the second floor bridge upside-down on a bungee cord, his face covered with sweat and permanent marker ink.

"HE'S A DEVIL I TELL YOU! A DEVIL! MOOOMMY!"

Bo-bobo and Namero sweatdropped. "What the hell?"

The remaining party members, minus Don Patch who was now apparently missing, began to scale the castle, starting with the west wing. The first room they entered was a long hallway that was as plain as the entrance hall. Cybernetic guards were sleeping alongside the wall.

"Bo-bobo, remember to keep quiet…" Namero whispered as he lightly walked toward the end of the hallway, which acted as something of a dining hall with a large oak table in the middle.

"READ YA LOUD AND CLEAR!" Bo-bobo screamed as he dashed down the hallway riding on a mechanical floor waxer. The cybernetic guards began shooting lasers, and Namero slapped his face.

"Hanage Shinken Ougi…Kaitenzushi!"

(Super Fist of the Nose Hair…Conveyor Belt Sushi!")

All of the cybernetic guards were instantly killed with a massive line of sushi thrown at them. Bits of Cybernetic parts were tossed around, leaving Namero speechless once again.

"Sir Bo-bobo…"

"Namero, have you forgotten why we're here? To rescue Beauty, of course! Now come on!"

Bo-bobo opened and ran into the westernmost hallway of the castle without a second thought. The hallway was a row of stairs that led downward to the basement floor. The two of them began to walk down them quietly, conversing.

"Hey, Sir Bo-bobo?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you plan on rising up against the wizard in the first place?"

Bo-bobo spat on the floor. "It's my duty to defend my homeland."

"But don't you have a specific purpose?"

Bo-bobo was silent. His movement was now structured and square, like a statue's.

"Do you have a personal reason, Namero?" Bo-bobo asked flatly.

Namero began to act the same way as the older man did, alongside his face becoming bitter and stoic.

The two of them reached the bottom floor, and saw a square of plywood hammered over what seemed to be a hole in the floor. Bo-bobo tapped it with his foot and heard a squeaking noise from underneath it. The man and the boy gave quick glances at one another before striking both of their blades onto the plywood, making it splinter and reveal a room below.

They jumped down into the room, which was darker and only consisted of a higher and lower part of the floor. A chest was on the higher part of the floor, and two shadows seemed to be moving about on the lower part.

"Hey, what do you think is in there?" Namero wondered, attempting to open the chest. "It's either jammed or we need a key to open it…" he said after a failed attempt.

"Uhmmmh…"

Bo-bobo turned around and heard a moaning noise, which seemed to be female. He cautiously stepped down from the elevated part of the floor and could see two girls, one of them a ghost, and the other, Suzu.

"Suzu! You're okay…ah…wait, how the hell did you get in here!?" Bo-bobo shouted in confusion.

"Did you forget? I have teleportation powers," Suzu stated blankly. Her hair was in a mess, and her clothes were a bit rumpled. Bruises could be seen on her legs and arms.

"Suzu, what happened to you?" Bo-bobo asked in concern.

Rubbing her head, Suzu sat up. "I teleported into the castle to get a head start on finding Giga, but…he came…"

"Who did?"

"The captain…"

"Captain Battleship?"

"Yes…"

Suzu slowly sank to the floor. Her eyes were diluted with tainted memory.

"Tell me what happened."

"He saw me, Sir Bo-bobo…"

"And what did you do?"

"I ran…I ran as far from him as I could, avoiding all the cybernetic guards and the Cyber Knights and the security system…I managed to plunge down here and meet this little lady…" Suzu motioned toward the ghost next to her, who was similar in appearance to the other female ghosts from Genesis Gulch.

"You just…ran? You didn't even find Giga?"

"What could I do!? I was scared! I didn't want the captain finding me, Sir Bo-bobo!" Suzu rolled up herself; tears dripped from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Suzu…" Bo-bobo gently rested his shoulder onto hers. Namero kept on fiddling with the chest until he finally managed to get it open.

"What the…"

Namero grabbed the object inside the chest, revealed to be a statue-like object made of pewter. The statue was a funky heart-shape, with one side separated like lines and the other side in a cloud shape. The heart itself was set on a base, with Latin spelling underneath it that couldn't be made out.

"What is this?"

Bo-bobo, Namero, Suzu, and the ghost set the statue down and gave it a good look. Why was something like this stuck in the lowest part of Giga's Castle?

"Maybe it's something important to him?" Bo-bobo wondered.

"Maybe it's connected to his weakness…if he has any…" the ghost spoke. The others stared at her in interest.

"But why a statue…?"

Silence befell the room for a moment, until a massive rumble shook the entire palace. Sawdust slithered to the floor as stomps filled with rage filled the castle, making everyone shake.

"GUUUURAAAAAAAH!"

Giga stormed out of his bathroom with anger and lustful violence in his eyes. Why he did, no one could figure out…

"Where…is it…" he huffed viciously.

Torpedo Girl and OVER awkwardly slid the bed away with wide eyes. Masato began to panic again, and Beauty shrunk down in fear.

"WHERE IS IT!?"

End of Part 4.

-X-

-Things have begun to heat up like a boiling pot of soup, no? First, there's Serviceman's battle, then the talks of war with the Yankee Republic, Masato's kidnapping, OVER and Torpedo Girl's new relationship, this mysterious statue, and the blathering of Latin with absolutely no purpose. Why!? Read on, and…oh, you know what to do!

FOOTNOTES

-The title of this part of the chapter: "From the sky to the center, the act is not guilty unless the mind is also guilty." Also, all of the Latin in this chapter is derived from a long list of Latin phrases that have special meanings to them. You can easily find them on WIKIPEDIA.

-"Deo" is the Latin word for "God" (as in the Christian deity).

-The song that was sung by Don Patch is Liberi Fatali (literally "Fated Children"), a Latin song that was created as the opening sequence song for the PlayStation One game Final Fantasy VIII. Look on YOUTUBE for a translation. (I didn't translate it because it's just so damn cool…heheheh…)

-Namero's magic spell is actually a trademark spell from the manga franchise Negima! Magister Negi Magi. In addition to being a fantasy, it is also a comedic harem, in which the main character Negi would use the spell and the after effect would accidentally blow off the clothes of a female character.

-According to a Weekly Shonen Jump cover and the second title page of the Chagecha manga, Masato is shown to have blonde hair.

-OVER and Torpedo Girls' romantic meet up until they start making out on Giga's bed is in the exact same way the two main characters of the musical West Side Story met and fell in love with one another.