The Very Thought of You

Chapter 20

"The very thought of you, and I forget to do, the little ordinary things that everyone ought to do..."

The two girls stood as if in a trance. Charlie moved her hand slightly as though reaching towards Joey's. Joey was aware of the movement. Her own hand moved to Charlie's gentling touching it with her finger tips. Charlie held her breath but did not move her hand away. Joey's fingers gently wound around Charlie's which responded by doing likewise. Joey's other hand slowly moved towards Charlie's arm and softly took hold of it, gently pulling Charlie towards her. Charlie, still mesmerized, moved in towards Joey.

Suddenly,

"URR! URR! URR!" A seagull screeched overhead. The trance was broken. Charlie awoke from the dream which soft music, warm sun and Joey had created. She panicked and drew away from Joey snatching her hands back and breathing heavily. Her ears pounded with the sound of her own pulse beating in time with her rapid heartbeat.

"I- I have to go!" She stammered. "I'm sorry...it was great!" She bent down, picked up her bag and shoes and stumbled up the bank to the little foot path Joey had shown her earlier and headed for home.

Joey watched the terrified Charlie as she made her escape. She felt her heart breaking with every step Charlie took away from her. She felt something like a hand clutching at her throat and heart; squeezing the life from her. Tears filled her eyes. She blinked but the tears would not abate. She let them fall.

Charlie was breathless by the time she reached the town. She was confused and frightened not knowing what to do. Her sanctuary was home, but Janet and Paul would still be lunching. She needed some time to herself, needed to get away from everyone and explanations. She looked behind her terrified that Joey might have chased after her. But no Joey. Charlie took the coast path to the other end of town and found herself a bench to sit on, to try and pull herself together. She needed to understand what had just happened, and how she might cope with it.

Joey loaded the little boat with their picnic things and glanced around one more time to make sure she had left nothing behind. Nothing, perhaps, except a memory of what had been the most wonderful afternoon of her life until it turned to ashes. She cast off and stepped carefully into the boat. But where to? If only she could have her wish to sail out into the sea, never to return home again. To numb the all the pain she held in her heart.

Charlie sat for an hour until she thought it safe to return home. She had concocted a story for her arrival if Janet and Paul were still there. 'She was returning early with a sick headache and would go straight to bed.' She hastily walked home and entered through the front door, hoping to avoid the kitchen if Janet was still entertaining.

"Is that you Charlie?" Janet called.

"Yes." Charlie replied. "Sorry, I've come back home so soon. I think I've got a touch of the sun; I have a headache. I'm going straight to bed." With that and not knowing if the Squadron Leader was still in the house, Charlie slunk into her bedroom and closed the door and curtains. She replaced her day clothes with pyjamas and jumped into bed right under the covers. She found some comfort in the darkness of the bedding.

Joey wandered along the lane from the allotment. She had seen one of the old fishermen down at the harbour who had kindly offered to help her up to the boat shed to return the boat to it former dwelling place. That done, she was at a loss to know what to do. It had been a temping thought to throw herself off a cliff, but self preservation reared its head, disallowing the idea. So, hence, she found herself at the allotment, wandering around, pulling the odd weed up here and there and trying to understand why Charlie reacted as she did.

That afternoon, Joey Collins realised how desperately in love with Charlie Buckton she had become and was as sure as she could be that Charlie felt the same way about her too. She had seen love in Charlie's eyes and felt the passion in her touch. How could she be wrong? Was she wrong? At the end of the lane, she rested on a gate leading into a field and watched some rabbits larking about on the grass a few yards away; a sight which once, would have given much pleasure. They may as well have been Nazis for all Joey cared at that moment. She rested her head against the fence post and cried.

It was way past seven when Joey plucked up enough courage to venture back to her temporary lodgings. She quietly slipped in through the kitchen door. Only Ruby was in the room. She looked up and smiled.

"Where did you get to?" Ruby asked innocently.

"I've been up at the allotment." Joey said hoping the younger girl wouldn't press for more information. Ruby seemed happy with Joey's explanation and carried on reading her film magazine.

"Is Charlie around?" Joey asked shyly.

"She went to bed ages ago," Ruby informed her, "with a bad headache or something; didn't want to eat anything. She thinks she's got a touch of the sun."

"Hi, Joey!" Janet said struggling into the kitchen with the tin bath to make ready for a reluctant Vince. "Sorry about your picnic thing having to finish so soon, what with Charlie getting too much sun and all. I'm going to take her in a couple of Aspirin in a minute. There's some fish pie left in the larder if you're hungry."

"Thanks Janet. I'm not really hungry at the moment. I'll take the Aspirin in to Charlie if you're busy?" Joey offered, quietly.

"Good. Thanks. They're on the top shelf of that cupboard." Janet said pointing.

Joey reached for the pain killers and filled a glass with water. She felt her hand shaking a little as nerves started to get the better of her, but she had to face this problem sooner rather than later. There would be no sense in leaving it until the morning. She walked along the hall way and up a few stairs to a small landing, leading to Charlie's bedroom.

Charlie had not slept since she arrived home. The afternoon's proceeding were the only thing running through her confused mind. She doubted she would ever sleep again. She was aware that she had left Joey, somewhat unceremoniously, some hours previously and had heard nothing more of her since. 'What was she doing?' and 'how was she feeling?' Were questions she now asked herself. At that moment, she heard a small tap at her bedroom door. The visitor would not enter until Charlie invited them to do so.

"Come in".

Joey entered the darkened room.

"Charlie," Joey said, quietly. "I'm sorry about your headache, if you actually have one."

"Sorry?" Charlie said tensing; her back towards Joey.

Joey swallowed, trying not to get too emotional. She took a deep breath.

"It's about what happened earlier, isn't it?" Joey said quietly sitting on the edge of Charlie's bed.

"Nothing happened." Charlie said, flatly.

"I think you know what I'm talking about Charlie."

"Joey, I don't know – I don't understand...If I'd have known you were developing feelings for me, I'd have been more careful not to give the impression that I felt the same way! I didn't mean to act in an improper manner." Charlie said, turning a little towards Joey, but not making eye contact.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for anything to happen this afternoon. I'd hate you to think I'd arranged it to compromise you." Joey said, sadly.

Charlie nodded her head, but remained silent.

Joey stood up and shifted uncomfortably. She paused for a moment, as if searching for the right words to say, but none came. She looked once more at Charlie.

"I do hope you'll be feeling better in the morning." And with that, left the room closing the door quietly behind her.

Charlie sunk back onto her bed and sobbed.