The exhaust of a massive battle airship exhaled a massive breath of smoke as it rode into the skies like a mythical air beast. Babuu, now taking action in the pre-part events, pressed several buttons along the control panel. The strobe lights of the ship blinked on and swung back and forth like a swing. Placing the ship in a fixed spot, Babuu, dressed like Meta-Knight from the Kirby video game series, laughed a haughty, stereotypical Spanish laugh.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, in the air, Heppokomaru came in, riding on a magical star. His outfit was the same, exceptions being that his top was pink and his pants had pink bleach stains. He spotted the ship, raising his brow in curiosity.
"That…that looks pretty gross…"
He crash-landed onto the bow of the ship, now sporting sunglasses and a pair of machine guns on his shoulders. Babuu spotted him from the main bridge, laughing.
"Fu fu fu fu…your time has come, Cosmos Warrior…I will finally announce my unspecific revenge and take over Poopoo Land!" Babuu clenched his fist, thoughts seething out of him like steam.
"Who're ya talkin' to?" The helmsman, a Keigari-men soldier with a Kansai/southern accent, asked.
Babuu closed his eyes, annoyed by his hick town helmsman. "I'm talking to none other than God…"
"Really?"
"NO YOU F—KING DIPS—T! THAT WAS A JOKE!" Babuu screamed as he decapitated the soldier with a golden blade he got out of nowhere.
"My lord!" A midget that strangely resembled a Waddle Dee entered the room, causing Babuu to turn to him. "The dude on the deck is owning everything without even trying!"
"What!?"
Babuu and the midget glanced onto the bow where Heppokomaru was, indeed, piling every other midget soldier out of his way. He barrel-rolled and shot his guns simultaneously, blowing and killing off the midgets; they dropped like flies across the ship.
"'Scuse me, pardon me, comin' through, oops, sorry…" The boy had spoken this way as he shot another group, making them burn to ash. Babuu hissed, slamming his fist onto the countertop he stood in front of.
"This is bullshit!" A vein popped from his head.
"What do we do!?" his subordinate shrieked. Babuu scratched his head momentarily, devising a plan.
"We fight until our last breath and go down with the ship, if we must…" he raised his fist and placed it onto his chest, closing his eyes. It was risky, but it was the only thing he could think of.
"Okay," his subordinate spoke up, face flat. "Better idea."
Silence. Babuu glared at the poor midget; the midget's eyes went white with fear. He took the midget, smashed his face into his knee, and then tossed him overboard into the ocean below.
"ABANDON SHIIIIIIIIIIIPPP---!"
With his last cry, the midget splashed into the water, where he was eaten by a deformed sea sponge. Babuu sighed, face-palming his forehead.
"Ugh…this is going to take a while…"
-X-
Chapter 4
Trials of the Valkyries
(Part 2: You are my star, this Irreplaceable Love, this SWEET RAVE PARTY!)
The A-List Valkyrie Toy Box: Train tracks
The toy train had driven all the way to the next station, the Pink Station. A pink colored tokoroten greeted Sir Bo-bobo and his party as they hopped off into the station. It resembled the previous station, the exception being the massive ferris wheel located behind the tracks. They gathered together to devise a plan.
"Okay, the previous station had two straightforward passages. If my theory is correct, so does this station. We can split into two groups and go into each part, then report what we found back here. Sounds good?" Torpedo Girl came up with the information from her head. Everyone seemed to agree.
"Okay! Let's form two teams!" Bo-bobo shouted happily, wearing a little girl outfit for no apparent reason. Everyone, except Don Patch, immediately clung onto him. He hugged them all to death, squealing.
"Yay! Yay! Let's play with dollies!"
Don Patch was alone on the other side, snot dripping from his nose, eyes flat. Although he didn't appear to care, his inner self (a jealous female Don Patch wearing a flaming orange wig and white lipstick) was screaming, smashing his other thoughts with glass bottles and stuffed ponies.
"Why is no one accepting me?" he asked flatly. His inner self exploded with anger, eating off the head of a goat.
"Because whenever we get separated, something happens to one of us. Like Namero right now, only it's nice that we ditched him." Heppokomaru smirked, imagining Namero tied up and hanging over a pot of boiling lava.
"Oh, He-kun, you're such a jerk sometimes…" Beauty pouted, making a face. Heppokomaru stuck his tongue out in response.
"This time, we thought of letting you get lost, Don Patch!" Serviceman shouted, stepping forward, grabbing his sheet. "Now go! SERVICE!"
Serviceman flashed his member in all its glory at Don Patch's face, making him scream and melt into a pile of mush. He re-formed seconds later into a small, round orange creature with a pair of massive eyes, but no mouth. His hands and feet were stubby, and he was hyperactive. He immediately became giddy and bounced around all over the station.
"HEY BUDDY! I'M HERE TO SAVE MY GIRLFRIEND!" He screamed in Bo-bobo's face. Bo-bobo sweatdropped, eyebrow raised.
"HEY! YOU WANNA HELP SAVE MY GIRLFRIEND!?" The mini-sized Don Patch screamed into a megaphone. Serviceman grabbed him by the top of his head and glared at him.
"Silence…GO F—K YOURSELF, S—T CAKE TOPPING!" He tossed Don Patch out in the open and into a minefield, where the mines exploded upon intact. Don Patch had died, and millions of pigeons went to celebrate at his funeral.
"I PITY THE FOO!" Torpedo Girl screamed in a Mr. T accent as she blasted Serviceman into the floor. He got his butt kicked by many rabid Fire Emblem fans.
"Okay, for real this time, let's form two groups…" Bo-bobo sighed. Serviceman and Don Patch (still in his miniature state) rejoined them. Don Patch, Beauty, Heppokomaru and Torpedo Girl formed one group; Suzu, Hatenkou, Serviceman, and Bo-bobo formed another. Bo-bobo, dressed as a five-year old, clapped joyously.
"Okay then! Let's mosey!" He dashed off to the right corridor, belting the Naruto theme song Fighting Dreamers loudly. The soldiers that stood by had bleeding ears instantly.
"Oy vey…this is going to take a while…" Suzu sighed as she went into the corridor. Serviceman skipped past her, wearing a pink afro wig.
"Oyabin! I promise I'll return for you---!" Hatenkou sobbed as he floated toward the other corridor. Don Patch merely raised an eyebrow and flipped his admirer the bird.
"Uhh…let's go then…" Heppokomaru sighed. His group followed into the left corridor. In the distance from that corridor, Beauty thought that she heard a pokémon screaming from pain.
-X-
Left Corridor
Torpedo Girl rode on Don Patch as if he were her horse. Beauty and Heppokomaru merely went along with it, secretly gaining pleasure from watching the Red Mage spank the android with a bass fiddle.
"Gyora (1)! Move your ass, donkey dung!" Torpedo Girl shouted, making the miniature Don Patch cry.
"But I just want to save my girlfriend!" he whined in response.
"No he doesn't…" a female KoPatch in the same form responded from a distance, captured in a city skyscraper.
"Go save this, asswad!" Torpedo Girl tossed a stick of TNT farther left, and Don Patch went after it. It exploded in his face, making his face rip off.
"Nooo! I just want my girlfriend back!" he cried, sobbing hysterically.
"Oh, piss off already! You're luckier than you think, jerk! Some of us aren't even remotely able to please the opposite sex!" Tabuu from Super Smash Brothers Brawl complained from a corner hidden beneath some boxes of agar (2). His microphone-projected voice made Beauty and Heppokomaru cringe in pain.
"Ohh, my ears…" Beauty moaned.
"Well, you have magical wings and can take over universes, so there! I suck at everything else! Except singing!" Don Patch cried, getting into a flailing fight with Tabuu. He then pulled out a microphone out of nowhere. "By the way, do you want to hear me sing?"
"Oh god, I don't know which one's worse!" Heppokomaru shouted.
"COME ON! MOVE IT!" Torpedo Girl, now lugging a cart of dead soldiers, blasted Tabuu and Don Patch forward into the west end of the hall. The workers on the train tracks all wet themselves, dumped themselves in buckets of gas, and lit themselves on fire.
Heppokomaru, ticked off from all of the antics, said nothing as he and Beauty passed by. He sensed one of the soldiers that joined in the gag-fest behind him and shot him in the head while turned around.
"This…is…getting…really f—king annoying…" he hissed, shadow over one eye. He flared his nostrils and seethed, making Beauty blush a little.
"Ah, He-kun…" Beauty cringed, giggling.
"What's so funny!?" Heppokomaru lashed, rounding on the girl. She squeaked in surprise.
"Well, um…the way you look so pissed off like that…it's kinda sexy." Beauty blushed harder with some embarrassment taking over.
Heppokomaru's face went soft with surprise. "I look sexy when I'm angry?"
"Yeah…" Beauty nodded her head quickly, eyes shrunken.
"Um…" Heppokomaru didn't know how to react. His face went red. His thoughts went into a state of meltdown.
"Ha! Caught you!"
"Eh!?"
A mage-soldier emerged from behind. He raised his yellow fan-staff, bonking it on Heppokomaru's head.
"Gweh!"
A massive bump the size of a melon appeared on the boy's head. He immediately reverted back to his supposedly sexy (in Beauty's mind) state of anger and roundhouse-kicked the mage in the groin. The mage wailed and began to cast a spell as he did so.
"Waah! Flans exarmatio!"
The magical winds carrying over thousands of cherry blossom petals merely grazed Heppokomaru's arm; fortunately, all that he lost were one of his guns and a portion of his shirt sleeve. Poor Beauty, however, was hit in full-force of the magic…
"Kyaaaaaa!"
Beauty freaked out and screamed as both her weapon and a large chunk of her clothes were ripped apart by the winds. All that remained were the top part of her cloak, some parts of her shorts, and her socks. She began to screech when she noticed that her top and bra were ripping away.
"OH MY GA-"
Heppokomaru spun around after shooting the soldier again. His nose bursted at the seams with blood, noticing Beauty's complete lack of a top…
"HOLY SH-"
His eyes bugged out much more than they originally had. His nose was soaked and dripping with blood as his perverted side took over and stared at Beauty's torn state. She was on the verge of tears, veins popping across her head. She stomped to his side (covering her breasts with her arms), glared at him, and kicked his member multiple times.
"AGGH, YOU SICK BASTARD!"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, another soldier, fat as a house, crashed into the two, making them not only slide to the end of the hallway, but also made Beauty land crotch-first in front of Heppokomaru's face! His face was redder than the reddest ruby as he stumbled backwards with her on his shoulders. He fell backwards in front of what appeared to be an obese man sitting near the tracks.
"Mmf! Mnnfff!"
Heppokomaru's head began to spin. Beauty rubbed her head and sat back, noticing the pair's awkward position. She could see the boy's red face, nose bleeding severely, eyes swirling. She squealed and jumped back.
"Ohh, I'd kick your ass, but it was an accident…" Beauty said quietly to herself, face red. She re-imagined the situation, and her head began to spin at the thought of it.
"Ahhh, ahh, this is nuts! I like him as a friend, but this has to be a coincidence…it has to be…"
Beauty then glanced over at Heppokomaru, still in his vegetated/perverted state. Her eyes bulged when she noticed a wet spot on the crotch of his pants…
"THAT PERVERT! THAT'S IT!"
She ripped his spare knife off his pants leg and held it up high, flames shooting up behind her. As she thrusted it down, Torpedo Girl and Don Patch, now vacuum-sealed in a bag in the form of ashes, came to them.
"Beauty-san! Heppokomaru-san! How are you guys?" the Torpedo asked cheerily. Beauty spun her head around and dropped the knife.
"H-hi, Torpedo-san…we were just…eh heh heh…" Beauty shrunk.
"Judging by what happened, you were getting it on with him…" the obese man that sat next to them spoke up.
"NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Beauty screamed. The obese man screeched. The shadows that hung over him finally gave way, revealing him. The man was bald, had elfish ears, sharp blue eyes, and wore a maroon-colored cloak-like outfit adorned with golden shoulder pads (Tsuru Tsurulina IV). Torpedo Girl whipped out her appointment book and marked a date for beating him up later during the week.
"Ahhh…and who are you?" Heppokomaru asked, eye twitching.
The obese man snorted. "My old girlfriend used to call me something else before I got fat. Don't remember it tho'. My real name is Kingdom Villager D, and it really says that on my birth certificate. See?" Kingdom Villager D held up said certificate, sporting said name, year, and stamp of approval.
"Uhh…okay…"
Kingdom Villager D sighed, then burped. Saliva slid down his mouth. "Ough…I'm hungry. I haven't had food in over an hour…"
Beauty frowned. "What did you just eat?"
"Let's see…some chicken, a burger, a pizza, some mochi, ten servings of yakisoba…"
"I think you should try eating a salad this time," Heppokomaru grunted.
"Eww, I hate salad!" Kingdom Villager D spat his tongue out.
"How pathetic…"
Torpedo Girl reached her gaze beyond Villager D, noticing that he was sitting on a pink turnstile switch. "Did you notice that you're sitting on a switch, fatass?"
"Huh? No, not really. I can't really move, so don't even bother asking me that."
"YOU SUCK!" Torpedo Girl smashed the fat man's jaw. He began to sob hysterically, flailing his arms about.
"Waah! Okay, okay! I'll try…" the man grunted and heaved, but could not get his feet off the ground. Beauty and Heppokomaru even attempted to lift him off, but that didn't help either.
"Wow. They're weak," Don Patch commented. "I'd never hire love-struck idiots like them to save my girlfriend."
"Silence, you…" Torpedo Girl shook her fist in a threatening manner. Don Patch immediately zipped his lips.
Villager D sighed. "Can you at least get me some food or something? If you give me something sugary, I might be able to budge." He farted obnoxiously loud, making Beauty faint in Heppokomaru's arms.
"We have no food, and the only chef in town had his frying pan stolen…" Heppokomaru sighed.
"You don't really need a frying pan to bake a cake," Torpedo Girl argued. "We have no choice. Can anyone else in the party cook anything?"
"YES I CAN!" Beauty shrieked, shooting up suddenly. Heppokomaru fainted from the scream. Don Patch suddenly became ticked off for no reason and began slapping Beauty to death.
"What are you trying to do!? Upstage my girlfriend!? Get the hell out of here, chickey!" Don Patch screeched, tossing Beauty outside the chest and back into Crystal town. Heppokomaru immediately stood right behind Don Patch, a dark aura flaring from him. He swung around a chain-sickle, and his eyes glowed a deep shade of red…
"Hey, Don Patch…"
Don Patch shivered in fear, wetting himself. He threw his hands above his head as Heppokomaru struck him into the great beyond.
"UP YOURS, JACKASS!"
With that, Don Patch became a tiny star in the sky. Torpedo Girl in particular was impressed.
"Wow…"
"Uhh, hello? I need food!"
"Ah…right…come on, Torpedo-san…"
"PHWEET! LET'S GO!" Torpedo Girl stuck a raccoon suit (3) on Heppokomaru's body, then onto herself. She took his hand and flew away with him. The misunderstood boy's eyes bulged again as he freaked out…
"Get me down from here, crazy lady!"
-X-
Right Corridor
"We got one man down! One man down! The enemy's in possession of the fort!"
The Valkyries this time around were taking their duties in a militaristic fashion-and when Serviceman did them the duty of killing one of them with his enhanced service and flipping them off, the Valkyries went anal. The remaining party members (sans Bo-bobo because he had to buy mascara) snuck off, searching for the missing items. As Serviceman was checking his mail, the Valkyries attacked!
"Attack!"
The Valkyrie gunners began gunning down the poor mailman. He began to run off, sheet and body burning. He shrieked, writing down his will along the way.
"Get the f--king mailman---!"
One of the Valkyries responded immediately, whipping out a grenade and releasing the seal on it. He tossed it hard, his sights set on the cheeky bastard that ran.
"Grenade!"
And with that, a massive explosion filled the chest with bright flames that caressed every corner. Serviceman fell, severely burnt. The Valkyries towered over him and screamed in victory; the leader, donning kilt, shield, and sword, stood on top of him.
"FOR THE MOTHERLAAAAAAND---!"
Hatenkou and Suzu merely looked on to the madness. Their faces clearly expressed that they had no concern for their perverted friend.
"Should we help?" Suzu asked.
"…no."
"…have it your way…"
Meanwhile, Sir Bo-bobo returned, now sporting massive feminine eyelashes…
-X-
Left Corridor
"I have returned!"
Beauty popped behind Heppokomaru and Torpedo Girl instantaneously. Don Patch smashed his head against the wall for no reason when he saw her.
"I have a cake for you, Villager-san." Beauty held out a white cake filled with fresh cheesecake-like sauce in the middle and white frosting on top. The cake was decorated with fresh strawberries and sugar flowers. "I made it myself, all from scratch."
"Woaoow…" Heppokomaru drooled. "It looks delicious…"
"Sorry He-kun. I got this for you." Beauty rather bitterly handed him a cup of instant ramen. She gave smaller cakes to Torpedo Girl and some cookies to Don Patch. A shadow fell over him.
"Ugh…this sucks…"
"Alright Villager-san, I made this special for you." Beauty said, not completely honest. She handed him the cake, he took it, and with a loud chomp, he at the dessert in one massive bite.
"Ah!" Beauty freaked out.
He bit it, tasted it, slurped, drooled, sucked on the fresh flavor of the strawberries. After a few minutes of speculation, he finally swallowed it. The second he did, his eyes opened wide. His body stiffened. His mind jolted.
"Oh…"
"Do you not like it?" Beauty asked, wierded out.
"I think I'll slay this moron now if he pulls something…" Torpedo Girl spoke in a similar fashion.
"Oh…oh…"
"I…don't like this…" Heppokomaru noticed Villager D's body tensing up with energy. Villager D began to pant.
"Oh…ohhhhh….OOOOOOOHHHHH!"
"Eh!?"
The room began to spin. Villager D's head fell into a dizzy loop. The cake's flavor sent him to his happiest place. His eyes bugged like crazy.
"Deeeelicioooouuuusss!"
Beauty smiled, but then freaked out seeing energy fire up in the obese villager. The other three immediately took cover.
"THIS…IS…LIP-SMACKING….GOOOOOOOOD!"
Right then, Villager D had a massive sugar rush. He dashed his butt off all over the room, on the ceiling, on the walls, on the floor, and trampled the other Valkyries. He nearly ran Beauty over at least twice, and she and the others bugged out completely. He scaled one of the walls and did a 360-degree flip back onto the floor. He sang and belted loud notes, most of them operatic.
"LALALALALALAAAA---"
He dashed onto the ceiling one last time and landed onto the ground with a massive thud. Now standing upright, he wiped his mouth and bowed to Beauty, who was still in a trance.
"Thank you so much that was awesome I loved it so much it was the best damn cake in the entire universe I love you I love you I love you YUMMY---!"
With that, the sick man jumped to massive heights, out of sight. In his place, the loud sounds of clicking and clanking came alongside a bunch of expensive-looking items. Many were made of gold or possessed some kind of gemstone.
"…wooow." Don Patch sighed in a low voice. "That…was…AWESOME!" He burst forth.
"Ahh, ahh, what the f—k was that…?" Torpedo Girl (literally) melted.
"Who cares, check out what he dropped!"
Beauty carefully kicked over the pile of items the fat man dropped. Among them were a frying pan, a ring, a massive tome, a crystal ball, a fancy-looking computer, a massive clock, and a stack of papers. She looked over each one carefully.
"These look like the possessions that were stolen by the Valkyries...shall we take them?"
"Let's."
"Okay. He-kun, you carry all of this." Beauty lugged a large sack filled with everything and handed it to the boy. His jaw dropped.
"Why!?"
"Because you're a man. A girl like me can't carry that without damaging my 'feminine mystique.' Let's go find Bo-bobo." Beauty frumped a little as she and Torpedo Girl walked off, strutting like two proud monarchs. A vein popped from Heppokomaru's head.
"Why that…rrgh…that's it, no more playing…I'll screw you over, even if it kills me…" Heppokomaru grunted, attempting to move as he carried the massive sack on him.
"Hey dude! You wanna help save my girlfri-"
Heppokomaru shot Don Patch with an AK-47 he found on the ground. Don Patch began to bleed.
-X-
Pink Station.
Bo-bobo had taken Serviceman with him and snuck off back to the station to leave Hatenkou and Suzu to deal with the crazed Valkyries they encountered. He stashed the mailman's bloody body into a body bag and hopped onto the train.
"To the next station, fast!" Bo-bobo demanded. The tokoroten engineer fired up the train and let the wheels roll. As they rode, Bo-bobo took the liberty of singing with Aqua the High Spirit to annoy the engineer. At that possibility, the train would crash, creating excitement.
"Whoo! Let's get crazy!" Bo-bobo and Aqua grabbed a pair of microphones and dressed up like bubblegum pop stars; Bo-bobo's revealing shrug and skirt made Serviceman choke.
"Galileo! Galileo! Galileo! Galileo!
Galileo Figaro!
Magnifico------!
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me,"
"HE'S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY!
SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY!: Bo-bobo belted unnaturally loud.
"Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?"
"HE'S BEEN LOCKED UP! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO!"
"Let him go!"
"HE'S BEEN LOCKED UP! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO!"
"Let him go!"
"WE WON'T LET YOU GO!"
"Let me go!"
"WE WILL NEVER LET YOU GO, FOOLS!" (4)
Bo-bobo slammed his microphone into the tokoroten's skull, making the train go out of control and crash/burn into the next station, the Taupe Station.
"Unh…Taupe Station…Taupe…ugh, why do I even bother…" A brownish-colored tokoroten moped, struggling to stay awake. "Ever since the day my grandfather got himself turned into a veggie burger, I've been struggling…unh…"
Bo-bobo stared at the dazed piece of jelly. "Poor bastard."
"Reminds me of the time my own grandfather spent his household income on some merchandise from some company under the shady name of 'four-kids…'"
"Four-kids?" Bo-bobo asked.
"Mm-hmm…" Serviceman nodded his head slowly, a creepy background appearing behind him. Time seemed to freeze momentarily.
"Uh…I'm still here…"
Bo-bobo glanced at Aqua, now back in her robe. She silently pointed west, much to Bo-bobo's confusion.
"I have nothing to do, so I'll gladly lend you a hand. I sense something evil stirring down that corridor."
"Really? Awesome. Let's go." Bo-bobo turned on his old fashioned Game Boy and began playing Super Mario Land at breakneck speed. Serviceman sat by himself and picked his nose while thinking of Heppokomaru.
"YOU'RE HEROES. LET'S GO." Aqua sternly grabbed a fly swatter and squished the two, dragging them along in the air. The corridor was set with several dozen merry-go-rounds placed nearby massive rainbow-colored blocks. It was slightly darker than the rest of the area, with the tint of the "sky" more reddish. Bo-bobo squealed when he finally defeated the last boss.
"Yay, I f—ked Tatanga in the ass! Take that!" Bo-bobo smiled when he heard the ending music play, and the final sequence when Mario gained his thanks and a kiss from Princess Daisy.
"Oh…"
Aqua dropped Bo-bobo and the daydreaming Serviceman onto a ledge and watched the ending sequence of Super Mario Land.
"Oh! Daisy…
"Thank you Mario."
Princess Daisy planted a kiss on Mario's cheek. A little heart appeared in place of her kiss. They then rode away on the Sky Pop together, romance speculating, into new adventures as the credits rolled.
"Sigh…"
Bo-bobo looked up at the emotionally withdrawn spirit. She looked down, eyes empty and forlorn. Hugging her knees, Aqua looked away, breath seeping out in sad-sounding puffs.
"Aqua-sama?"
"You've…seen me tussle with Ignis several times before, right?"
Bo-bobo nodded his head, making his face stoic in order to listen. Serviceman perked up.
"We always fight, but half the time, we don't mean the things we say. Ignis and I…we've always been like that, I guess. We often have…fun…just like those times in the old days…"
Bo-bobo raised an eyebrow. "Aqua…what are you saying? Why?"
"Your little video game there reminded me of a time in my old life when Ignis…"
Bo-bobo gasped slightly. "I heard of stories that you High Spirits were…"
"…we were mortals like you, once…in the Old World."
"The Old World…"
"Ignis and I had known one another since we were adolescent. We were not named the names we are called by now, you know. He would come to me, when we went out, with a beautiful white rose in his hand, and call me…"
Serviceman suddenly transformed into Ashley from the WarioWare series with no given explanation, rubbing pizza across his body.
"…Denbo-chan."
Bo-bobo's expression softened slightly. "I…had no idea…" He collected his thoughts and finally realized what she was saying. He gasped.
"Wait…Aqua-sama…does this mean that you…"
Tears ran down Aqua's eyes, her face pale with emotional melancholy. "Yes…I love him…I love him so much…I love him more than anything in the world…"
Bo-bobo remained awestruck. Serviceman decided to eat an entire jellyfish whole for no given reason and was electrocuted.
"My love for Ignis had nearly made me put Ashura behind in my thoughts several times…as deities of this new world, we cannot even bring up such a subject. No holy covenant will allow it. Umbrae, our leader, strongly opposes it himself. Now, don't get me wrong here…I love this world. I love giving it fresh, clean water for everyone to use. But…"
"Aqua…"
"…my heart just feels empty…nothing feels right in my heart, though as an entity, I suppose that does not matter…"
Bo-bobo went up to the spirit and touched her back, sending sympathy signs. Serviceman ate a stick of TNT and blew up.
"So many times in the world below, I've watched a happy pair of lovers walking together at night…they would have some kind of glow around them, like the lights of Gloria Heaven. Ignis and I…were like that once, but now…"
Serviceman found a drunken Roy behind a block and got himself stabbed.
"…and the worst part about it is…while he is aware of it, as am I…I…I never told him formally how I really feel!"
Aqua broke down in sobs. Her tears shone like crystals, splashing and forming a small puddle that almost resembled glass. Bo-bobo gave her sympathy through touch, but did not dare interfere with her emotional wave.
"Oh, Aqua…I give you my deepest sympathy," Bo-bobo spoke like an honorable man. "I'm not just saying this either. I mean it."
Aqua looked at him with wet, shining eyes. "Y-you do?"
"Of course. Come. Let's get moving."
Bo-bobo and the High Spirit moved further west while Serviceman, severely wounded, sorted his mail again. He popped out an envelope, addressed to a particular someone…
"Huh…"
-X-
The three had reached the end of the hallway, with an opening leading to another room facing them. Aqua had managed to push back her emotions and end her crying, thanks to Bo-bobo's sympathy. She decided to stay with him a while longer to lend a hand. They entered the next room, only to be greeted by complete darkness.
"Ahhh! Oh my god, somebody help me! Somebody! My leg!" Serviceman screamed, making a melodramatic fool of himself.
"This must be a trap…" Bo-bobo pulled out his sword, which had a spare pair of Beauty's panties stuck on it, probably as spare laundry.
"Be on guard! I'll be here to help!" Aqua pulled out her microphone and a squirt gun, much to her embarrassment.
The silence thickened and tensed into a sharp noise. Nothing but the sound of tiny footsteps and a babyish laugh strung at the end of the room.
"Ha ha ha…ho…"
End of Part 2.
-X-
-And so comes another sub-boss…who will it be this time? Read on and find out!
-I'll get the next part up as fast as I can! Don't go away!
FOOTNOTES
1). Japanese translation of "torpedo," and the equivalent of Torpedo Girl's laugh in the Japanese version of the media.
2). A gelatinous substance made from seaweed, made of complex glucose. Typically used for microbiological works, it can be made from tokoroten, which is what Tennosuke/Jelly Jiggler is made from, supposedly.
3). A homage to Super Mario Bros. 3. Mario can wear various "super suits" that come in animal shapes. The raccoon suit can make him fly.
4). A part of the song "Bohemian Rhapsody" by the band Queen.
I will fight with Mila's divine protection! Uh…wait…Mila!?