Two Destinies Bonus Skit Chapter #1: Chapters 1-12 (and other randomness, too)
Author's Note: Yay, it's time for me to attempt to make you guys laugh with skits! I'm gonna try to have one skit per chapter (except chapter 6, since I don't feel like making skits about villains…). Just to warn you guys, my humor might be a little dry... Something I find funny you guys might not... Oh, well... There should be something in this pack of skits that will make any reader laugh... (At least, I'm hoping... :3)
Here's how to read these: Before each skit is a title (if I can think of a good one) that is underlined and a place in the story where this skit would most likely occur if this story was a game. The character who is talking will have their name in front of their line. Text in between two asterisks (like *this*) means action. Two sets of parentheses around text, like ((this)), means a character is thinking. One set of parentheses either means author's notes or other cues.
I hope you enjoy them! ^_^
Worlds and Their Names
Story location: Chapter 1, after Kyle wakes up but before Reala does
Reid: Wait, so you're not from Inferia, are you?
Kyle: No… I've never heard of it. Is that a town?
Reid: Actually, it's a world. *points up* It's up there…
Kyle: *stares up for a few seconds* So… Inferia is… heaven?
Reid: Ha ha ha… No, you silly! Inferia is on the other side of those clouds. It's as much of a world as this one is.
Kyle: Aaah… And that's where you're from?
Reid: Yup. So, seeing as you aren't from Inferia and not from Celestia, either, where ARE you from?
Kyle: Well, I come from a world called… umm…
Reid: Is there something wrong? Did you get amnesia from hitting your head on this bed here or something?
Kyle: No… It's nothing like that…
Reid: Then what is it?
Kyle: It's just that… *scratches head* Geez, I really can't remember ever learning a name for my world…
Reid: So, does that mean that you come from a world without a name?
Kyle: W-well, I dunno… Just because I don't know what it is doesn't mean it doesn't have a name… Or maybe it really DOESN'T have a name…
Reid: That's strange…
Wait, You're HOW Old?!?
Story Location: Chapter 1, once everybody has been introduced to one another
Keele: Geez, people from other worlds seem to go off on adventures at much younger ages…
Kyle: Huh? What's that supposed to mean?
Keele: Well, just look at you two. You're both kinda… Immature…
Reala: Immature?
Kyle: HEY! I am NOT immature! I just haven't gone through puberty yet! My mom says my dad was a late bloomer, as well…
Farah: Late? Wait, how old ARE you?
Kyle: *blushes* I-I turn sixteen in five months…
Keele: Wait, you're fifteen? You look like you could pass for a thirteen year old kid…
Kyle: H-hey! Just because I'm short doesn't mean you can assume that I'm thirteen!
Reid: And I bet Reala's around fourteen, right?
Reala: A-actually… I'm sixteen…
Meredy: Waiiru! Meredy is sixteen, too!
Farah: You're Meredy's age? Wow, you both definitely look young for your ages…
Reid: Then again, so does Meredy…
Meredy: Baiba!
Reala: And just how old are you guys?
Reid: I turned eighteen about a month ago and Farah and Keele are seventeen…
Keele: I'll be eighteen pretty soon!
Farah: Come on, Keele… You had your seventeenth birthday three months ago. My eighteenth birthday's gonna come around before yours…
Keele: L-let's just head out for Imen now…
(Author's note: I just sorta made up random birthdays for the characters; don't ask about my logic…)
Mystery Magic
Story Location: Chapter 2, after the battle
Keele: So… How does Lens magic work?
Kyle: Hmm? *looks around* Are you asking me?
Keele: Is there anybody else here?
Kyle: Well, no… But…
Keele: Then answer me!
Kyle: I-I don't know! I'm just a simple country kid, not a genius scholar!
Keele: Was that a snub aimed at me?
Kyle: (ignoring Keele) Maybe Reala knows… Hey, Reala!
Reala: *comes into skit* Yes, Kyle?
Kyle: D'you have any idea how Lens magic works?
Reala: Well… It's… somewhat hard to explain…
Keele: Ugh, never mind… Maybe it'll be better if I just observe this from the field…
Kyle: Observe? Like…
Reala: Some kind of research?
Keele: N-no! Not at all! ((Rats! I think they're onto me!))
Two Tales
Story Location: Chapter 2, after the battle
Reid: I see you're a swordsman like me…
Kyle: Yeah. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner.
Reid: Don't sweat it. There is one thing I do have to ask about…
Kyle: What's that?
Reid: Where did you learn to use a sword?
Kyle: Well, my mom wanted me to start sword training from a young age because my dad was a great swordsman, too… But I mostly learned from practicing with my best friend, Loni…
Reid: Loni? Who's that?
Kyle: He's a great guy. I wish you could meet him… He's like an older brother to me… I wonder what happened to him… I hope that evil witch didn't kill him…
Reid: Evil witch?
Kyle: She's the reason Reala and I were sent here. Me, Reala, Loni, and a couple of other people were trying to stop her from reviving a goddess…
Reid: Oh, so you were on an adventure back on your world, too?
Kyle: Yeah. But now it looks like Reala and I are gonna be a part of your adventure…
Reid: Well, I'm glad you guys are gonna help us stop the Grand Fall.
Kyle: Heh, thanks. Maybe you guys could come with Reala and me to help us with our adventure once we're done here.
Reid: I dunno… I'll think about it…
Melnic Mystery
Story Location: Chapter 3, after the dream sequence
Meredy: Kyle does not speak Melnics, does Kyle?
Kyle: No… Why do you ask?
Meredy: If Kyle's father can speak Melnics, why not Kyle?
Kyle: Melnics isn't a language on my world…
Farah: But that does raise a good question: where DID your father learn Melnics?
Meredy: Did Kyle's father ever come to Celestia before?
Kyle: I highly doubt it… Otherwise, I would have probably known about it…
Reala: But didn't your dad leave you and your mom when you were really young?
Kyle: What about it? My mom always told me stories about my dad's accomplishments. He's my role model… I wanna explore lots of places like he did…
Farah: Well, Celestia's a start…
Meredy: Perhaps Kyle can explore Inferia, too!
Kyle: Yeah! Why explore one world… When I can explore three of them!
Meredy: Waiiru!
Reala: …What does that mean?
Farah: I dunno… Some words just… get lost in translation, I guess… It's a mystery to me…
Strength and Swords
Story Location: Chapter 3, after obtaining the Train Cage
Kyle: Dammit… This thing is heavy… How are you two able to fare that well?
Reid: I'm a hunter. I carry around dead animals all the time… I guess I just got practice carrying weight after hunting for so long…
Farah: I'm a martial artist. Strength of mind and strength of body are necessary to be a good martial artist.
Reid: What about you? I thought you need to be pretty strong to be a swordsman. I mean, seriously, swords are heavy objects.
Kyle: Mine isn't…
Reid: Huh? Lemme see it. Farah, can we put this down for a second?
Farah: Sure. *Farah, Reid, and Kyle put down the Train Cage*
Reid: Now, show me your sword.
Kyle: *unsheathes sword* Here, check it out.
Reid: *takes sword* Wow! This thing's as light as a feather! *swings it around*
Keele: Hey! Watch where you're swinging that thing! You nearly took my hair off!
Reid: *gives the sword back* So, I guess that means you're actually a wimp…
Kyle: What did you just call me?!?
Reid: Well, your sword isn't a proper weight…
Kyle: (slightly annoyed) The reason it's so light is because it was specially made with consideration to my height…
Farah: What does that have anything to do with this?
Reid: Here, take my sword, Kyle…
Kyle: *takes sword* …Wow, how do you fight with this? I can barely hold it properly!
Reid: You really are a wimp… That's not even a very heavy sword, but at least it's an average weight sword…
Kyle: (lost his patience) I'm still a wimp in your eyes? Feel my "wimpy" wrath, then! Burn Strike!
Reid: Ow ow ow! Okay, I take it back! Sorry!
The Exciting Train Ride
Story Location: Chapter 4, after escaping the train
Keele: Whew! That was a close call...
Meredy: That was exciting! Meredy wants to have more excitement like that!
Farah: Meredy, we nearly died today... Do you really want to have more experiences like that?
Meredy: Meredy thinks that was... how to say it in Inferian... Fun!
Keele: Fun?!? Nearly getting roasted in a train crash explosion is fun?
Reala: Perhaps she means the actual train ride before everything got out of control was fun?
Meredy: No... Meredy means jumping off the speeding train was fun!
Keele: Meredy needs to look up what "fun" means in a dictionary...
Sleeping Alone
Story Location: Chapter 5, after everybody goes into their tents to sleep
Keele: I snore? W-why did Meredy hold out from telling me that until now? M-maybe if I try sleeping differently, I can stop snoring... I mean, snoring is caused by the throat being blocked, so maybe just sleeping on my side instead of my back could change... (strange noise from outside the tent) W-w-what was that?!? *sighs* Pull yourself together, Keele... It's probably nothing... (noise repeats) Yipe! T-that didn't sound like nothing... M-maybe if I used a Holy Bottle and poured it in front of the tent entrance, whatever is making that noise will go away... *pulls out a Holy Bottle* Gee, if Reid was here, he'd be making fun of my paranoia and telling me that whatever is making the noise is probably not going to bother us... Oh, well... *pours the contents of the bottle out in front of the tent* There. That should do the... (noise repeats) Aaaah! T-t-that didn't w-w-work! I'm so done for... I... (noise repeats even louder) Wait a minute... That sounds like... Snoring... *exits the tent and goes up to the other tents* I wonder which tent the snoring is coming... (another snore) Aha! The snoring is coming from... *peeks into tent* (whispering to self) ...Either Kyle or Reala... (snore from Kyle) So... You're the one responsible for snoring... Ha! And you were making fun of ME snoring? I'll never let you live this down...
Kyle: (half-asleep) Keele? What are you doing?
Keele: Eep! *runs away*
Kyle: ...Man, what a creep. Stalking me like that...
We're JUST Friends!
Story Location: Chapter 5, after the team is reunited
Meredy: I had no idea!
Reid: What are you talking about, Meredy?
Meredy: Meredy saw Kyle on Reid's back!
Kyle: Well... That was...
Farah: Reid... What were you doing with Kyle on your back?
Reid: I-it was an accident, I swear!
Keele: Oho! Or was it?
Reid: S-shut up, Keele!
Kyle: We're just friends, that's all...
Farah: Well, at least Reid's made a friend who's a guy for once...
Reid: Farah! I have other guy friends!
Farah: Really? Name one other, then...
Keele: And I don't count...
Reid: Well... There's... Umm... Rrgh, rats. Farah's right... But you guys saw a prime example why I don't make friends with guys!
Keele: I thought it was because you always argue with other guys...
Reid: Hey, didn't I tell you to shut up earlier?
Watch Your Step, Keele!
Story Location: Chapter 7, as soon as the team arrives in Luishka
Farah: There's a ton of debris everywhere...
Reala: Some of it's really big... I hope nobody trips on anything...
Meredy: We need to go see Galenos! Come!
Farah: Hey, Keele, watch your robes... You have a bad habit of tripping...
Keele: Do not!
Reid: It's because he's a klutz that he trips so often...
Keele: Hey! I am not a klutz! And I rarely ever...
Kyle: Hey, Keele?
Keele: Not now! I'm busy arguing with Reid!
Kyle: But...
Keele: What part of... Aah! *falls onto Reid*
Reid: Aah! Get off of me, you clumsy nerd! My point stands!
Kyle: *facepalms* I was trying to warn you that your robes got caught on a piece of debris, Keele...
Keele: ...
Reala: *frees Keele's robes* Let's just keep going... Please, no arguing here...
Subconscious Power
Story Location: Chapter 7, the next morning after the battle
Reid: So, tell me what exactly happened last night.
Farah: Well, Kyle was battling in his sleep...
Kyle: Seriously, guys... I don't know why I just randomly started fighting in my sleep... I mean, usually, when I have nightmares, I roll around in my sleep and maybe roll out of bed, but I never...
Keele: We know, we know. And that's what makes it even weirder. Are you sure you've never had any cases of somnambulism in the past?
Kyle: Cases of what?
Keele: Ugh, that's right... I have to put everything into Layman's terms for you... Do you or did you ever sleepwalk?
Kyle: No... I said that already!
Reala: What I'M wondering about is that Arte you used... I've never seen you use any high tier spells before...
Meredy: Yes! Kyle used Voltic Heat!
Keele: It's odd that you were able to use an ability that you've never used before while awake when you were sleeping...
Kyle: Well, maybe I activated one of my subconscious powers!
Reid: Subconscious powers?
Keele: Pfft, don't be ridiculous. There's no such thing.
Farah: Do you have any proof, Keele? Maybe he's right...
Keele: Hmm... There's no evidence of this... Perhaps I can observe Kyle while he's sleeping to see if he unlocks anymore of these "subconscious powers"...
Kyle: I changed my mind, it's definitely just an ability I've been holding back and not using this entire time... Please don't stalk me!
The Waiting Game
Story Location: Chapter 8, after the car gets derailed
Reid: *yawns* I'm bored. Can we go see what happened to the others? I hope they're all right...
Keele: We shouldn't backtrack. We don't want to lose the ground that we've already gained...
Farah: Who knows how far back we lost the others... I know! Let's play a game while we're waiting!
Reid: What kind of game?
Farah: Um... I Spy?
Keele: That will get redundant after a couple rounds. All I see is us, the tracks, and the cave...
Reid: I spy something boring!
Keele: Hey!
Farah: Guys, knock it off. How about a staring contest?
Keele: A staring contest?
Reid: Ugh, that's the last thing I want to do... Stare at Keele for more than a minute...
Keele: *glares at Reid*
Reid: *stares back*
Farah: Guys?
(later)
Keele: *blinks* Guh!
Reid: I win! Ha ha ha!
Keele: How much time did that kill?
Farah: About 30 seconds...
Reid: Got any more suggestions for games to play, Farah?
Farah: Nope, sorry.
Keele: Looks like we just have to play the Waiting Game, now...
Reid: Ugh...
Pass the Person: Keele Version
Story Location: Chapter 8, after the team is reunited and Kyle retells his story
Keele: So... It was like they were playing some kind of game with you?
Kyle: I guess... It sorta seemed that way...
Reid: What was the game like?
Kyle: Here, let me show you... Catch, Reid! *pushes Keele*
Keele: Aah!
Reid: Oh, I see... Catch! *pushes Keele towards Farah*
Farah: Reid! I don't wanna be part of this! *pushes Keele away*
Keele: Guys, stop this! Aaah!
Meredy: Hweel! Looks fun! *pushes Keele back towards Reid*
Reid: Ha ha! This sure is fun!
Keele: I-it's not fun for me!
Reid: Catch, Reala! *pushes Keele towards Reala*
Reala: But... I'm not... *Keele falls right on top of her* Ow...
Kyle: Ack! Reala!
Reala: I was gonna say that I'm not very strong... I really can't play this game...
Keele: At least it's done now... Ugh... I'm so dizzy...
Kyle: ...
Enchantment Gone Wrong
Story Location: Chapter 9, after the battle with Gnome (Author's Note: After re-reading the chapter, I realized that this is what I SHOULD have written... XD)
Gnome: So, you want me to enchant your Lens with my magic?
Reala: Yes, please.
Kyle: Me too! I want to be able to use my earth magic?
Gnome: ...Fine, very well... *charges up energy and throws it at Reala*
Reala: Thank you, Gnome. *bows*
Gnome: As for you... *flings the energy at Kyle*
Kyle: Uh, oh... *energy ball bounces off Kyle's head* Aah! *falls over, and the energy enters his Lens*
Keele: Why did I not forsee that coming? *sighs*
Kyle: (still on the ground) What do you have against me, Gnome?
Gnome: That's my revenge for you waking me up so rudely...
Kyle: (still on the ground) I said I was sorry! *gets up*
Gnome: Now that that's out of my system, apology accepted...
Kyle: You just wanted to throw something at my head again, didn't you?
Gnome: Yep...
Kyle: Ugh...
Fringing is...
Story Location: Chapter 9, after obtaining Gnome
Reala: Say, Meredy?
Meredy: What is it, Reala?
Reala: You and Keele just performed something called Fringing, right?
Meredy: That is correct.
Reala: Can you tell me what Fringing is?
Kyle: Actually, I was wondering the same thing.
Meredy: Well, Fringing is... well... Fringing is where Craymels make new spells!
Reala: How?
Meredy: Meredy does not know how to say in English...
Keele: Let me take over. Craymel Fringing is where the Craymels combine, and they in turn create new abilities by mixing their powers together...
Kyle: Combine... You mean like... Oh, yuck! Gross!
Keele: Huh? ...N-not like that kind of combining, you idiot! Just the powers combine, not the Craymels themselves!
Kyle: Ohh... Okay.
Keele: Ugh, idiots these days... Who knew idiocy went hand in hand with pervertedness?
Heavy Sleeper
Story Location: Chapter 10, on Floor 7 of Chat's Hut
Farah: It seems there's a switch here that needs a weight put upon it...
Meredy: Meredy will be the weight! *walks onto the switch* Now we can go!
Reid: All right. Let's go.
Keele: W-wait, Meredy! *door closes again once she moves off of the switch* I was going to say that you'll need to stay there until we return...
Meredy: But Meredy wants to go, too!
Reala: I have an idea... Why don't we use Kyle as a weight?
Reid: Hmm... He is still asleep...
Kyle: (asleep) ...
Farah: Okay, I guess that will work. I mean, unless he gets up, that is.
Keele: Hmm... Maybe it's a good thing that he's such a heavy sleeper...
Reid: *sets Kyle onto the switch, and the door reopens* Okay, let's go.
(once the team returns)
Reala: Well, he's still here... Thank goodness...
Kyle: ...
Reid: *picks up Kyle and puts him on his back again* Well, then. Let's get going, shall we?
Keele: Why do I have a feeling that he's going to be more useful asleep than awake?
Meredy: Come on, Keele! Let's go!
Selective Inheritance
Story Location: Chapter 11, after the team finds the picture of Rutee
Farah: So... This is a picture of your mom, Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah, that's definitely her.
Meredy: Kyle does not look like Rutee.
Kyle: Yeah, yeah... I know I don't...
Reid: Then if you didn't get your looks from your mom, what DID you get?
Kyle: Some of her personality.
Keele: Oh, great... Idiocy runs in the family...
Kyle: N-not like that! I mean, we're both determined and devoted...
Reid: A heavy sleeper?
Kyle: Actually, that trait is from my dad... You know, now that I think about it... I don't take after my mom much at all...
Reala: So that would make you a minature version of your father...
Kyle: Pretty much... Eh heh heh...
Journal of Doom (Death Note parody)
Story Location: Chapter 12, in the library after discovering the journal
Kyle: ...
Reid: Are you writing something in your journal?
Kyle: G-go away! No looking over my shoulder!
Reid: Why not?
Kyle: I'm doing something secretive...
Reid: Oh, I see... *goes to walk away, but quickly snatches the journal from Kyle instead*
Kyle: HEY! Gimme that back!
Reid: There's only a couple of words on this page... "Keele Zeibel - falling bookcase"? Is it some kind of weird poetry?
Kyle: Something like that...
Farah: Keele! Watch out! That bookcase is going to fall on you!
Keele: Hmm? Aah! *braces for impact, but, aside from books falling on top of him, nothing happens*
Reid: D-did you just do that, Kyle?
Kyle: Aagh, dammit! I was lied to! This isn't a Death Note, it's a Near-Miss Note!
Reid: What?
Kyle: Forget it... *closes notebook* Last time I try that... *puts notebook away*
Suggestive Power (Code Geass parody) (Author's Note: Yes, I'm doing this just because Jun Fukuyama voices both Kyle and Lelouch in Japanese... XD)
Story Location: Can occur anytime when Farah and Kyle are both in the party
Kyle: ...
Farah: Is something wrong, Kyle?
Kyle: (sounding a little different than usual) Farah! Look at me!
Farah: I am... Why? And what's with your voice?
Kyle: Make me a sandwich... Now!
Farah: *crosses arms* Ahem...
Kyle: (sounding normal) Rats, didn't work... Please?
Farah: What didn't work?
Kyle: I guess it's not his voice that can convince people to do anything they want to...
Farah: Whose?
Kyle: This guy I heard of who has these amazing powers of suggestion. People just look at his face and they instantly do whatever he wants them to.
Farah: Huh? What were you doing just now, then?
Kyle: Well, I've been able to imitate his voice perfectly for a long time... I just wanted to see if I can use his suggestion powers...
Farah: Ha ha ha... Keep trying... I can still make you that sandwich, though.
Kyle: Great! Thanks!
Author's Nota Bene: Well, that's all, folks! Some of these are better than others, but I hope the majority made you guys laugh. Skit chapter 2's gonna have a lot more Chat, by the way... (Oh wait, this chapter didn't have Chat in it at all... XD) Also, if you guys have any ideas for more wacky and hilarious skits, I'd like to hear them. ^^ Send me your ideas through a review!