"Now my opponent, draw your sword and duel me!" Babuu shouted from above. After all the minions were deftly handled, he finally decided to take matters into his own hands. He drew a beautiful golden blade, sporting extra miniature blades on each side. The hilt was made of fine rubies.
Heppokomaru spotted the man coming to him. He gasped silently and frowned, crossing his arms. He was tired and needed to get home for another exciting episode of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show.
"What!? No!"
Babuu reacted negatively. "Wh-why not?"
"I don't feel like it!" Heppokomaru pouted.
"B-B-But we have to fight…" Babuu nearly panicked at the thought of a pre-part scenario falling apart. Heppokomaru grunted.
"Fine, but I don't want to use the sword!"
"Oh, yes you do! You draw that sword and you like it!"
"No!"
"Fine!" Babuu turned around in a huff. "I'll wait…all night if I have to…"
6 hours later…
Babuu became incredibly impatient. Heppokomaru had absolutely no intention of using his sword. Combining with the eagerness to spend the night with the boy, Babuu finally decided to end the torture.
"Okay, very well!"
Heppokomaru raised an eyebrow, speculating to finally battle the man. He snuck his two gunning weapons behind him, preparing to sneak-shoot him. Babuu began to levitate off the upper bridge and flashed his sword.
"But you shall feel the wrath of my-"
/BOOOOM!/
Suddenly, all at once, Heppokomaru shot the living snot out of the pedophile Babuu. Smoke and fire rose like yeast into the air as Babuu screamed in pain. The smoke emerged in a mushroom-cut shape, leaving the man to choke on it. When the shooting was finally done, Babuu collapsed onto the bridge, severely burnt and bleeding. His eyes had taken an "x" shape.
"Ay…Chihuahua no bueno…" he choked before blacking out.
Heppokomaru dropped his guns, letting the smoke around him dissipate. He then flashed a smile as cutesy-sounding music played behind him.
"Yaay…yay."
-X-
Chapter 4
Trials of the Valkyries
(Part 3: The Internet is for Porn)
"Ho ho ho…so you've come to me…I've been waiting."
Bo-bobo drew his blade and lashed out his nose hair. Although the darkness may be a huge disadvantage for him, his nose hair could easily pierce through by lashing toward the walls to check for boundaries. Aqua scanned the area, trying to spot the presence of the voice's source. Serviceman played dead.
Slowly, the pitch-black darkness began to light up in the presence of some lantern that was nearby. The room that emerged was dark blue in color with stars painted on the wall. The shadow of a small being reflected onto it.
"Where are you…?" Bo-bobo whispered to himself.
The room finally became clear and full of a green-tinted light. The lantern the light came from had a rotten odor, and from the inside, Serviceman swore he heard someone screaming from electric shock. The person bearing the lamp finally came into view…
"Ciao-su." (1).
"Eh?"
Bo-bobo, Aqua, and Serviceman blanked out, looking down. The person that stood before them was a toddler wearing a fedora, a black suit, and a yellow pacifier. He had a deformed head, dark green hair, and beady little eyes that had an adorable light in them.
"Ciao-su. I'm Reborn (2), a home-tutoring hitman from Italy. How do you do?"
The toddler was polite and had a bizarre aura surrounding him. His upper lip covered his mouth when he gave the trio a gentle smirk. He winked for good measure, and the background surrounding him turned pink and sparkled.
"Kyaa, how cute! I wanna hold him!" Aqua squealed, putting her hands on her cheeks.
"Oh, the cuteness…" Serviceman exploded into a bloody pile of body parts; Reborn's cuteness was too great for him to handle.
"Don't let your guard down! He could be dangerous!" Bo-bobo shouted, rushing to the toddler's side. He picked him up by the scruff and barked in his face. Reborn nearly passed out from Bo-bobo's nasty-smelling breath.
"Tell me! Are you the leader of the Valkyries!?" Bo-bobo hissed.
"Huh? What are you talking about? I just came here to collect my friend's jar of his toenail clippings." Reborn was frank.
"…the hell?" Bo-bobo's left eye twitched.
"This has to be some kind of trap…fess up, little boy! Hand back my fellow High Spirit or else!" Aqua pulled a chainsaw from hammerspace and charged it up, laughing evilly. Serviceman played dead again, trying to make it more convincing by burying himself.
"Really," Reborn squeaked calmly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh, just leave the poor kid alone. Seriously." From out of nowhere, the Faerie King from the Prologue sat down behind Serviceman's grave.
"Well…maybe…" Aqua sighed, struggling to deal with hurting a child. She glanced at the king once, and then back to Reborn. It wasn't until three seconds later she realized who she was talking to…
"WAIT, WHO THE F—K ARE YOU!?" Aqua nearly hacked off the Faerie King's head. He screeched, hiding in a tub full of money bills, whimpering.
"Waah, back off, crazy lady…" The Faerie King cried like a baby. "I want my blankie! I want my blankie!"
At this point, all the current party members, including Reborn, sweatdropped heavily. Reborn dropped himself from Bo-bobo's grip, grabbed a jar that was full of toenail clippings, and walked away.
"Now excuse me, princess." Reborn angrily stubbed Bo-bobo's toe with his foot and walked off. Bo-bobo screamed and cried, diving into the money pit along with the Faerie King.
"Mama, hold me!" Bo-bobo cried, glomping the other man to death. The green-haired man hugged him back. Aqua gawked. Serviceman chewed on his sheet.
"This is…this can't be…our story just cannot turn into…a…a…"
Aqua shivered in fear, her body turning blue and the background turning black. The horror struck her hard, coming to realization that a romantic intervention between two men was taking place, thus meaning…
"…this cannot turn…into…a…YAOI STORY!"
Aqua shrieked loud, so loud that the lantern Reborn carried shattered into pieces. The room became instantly dark again, making the other three males scream and literally pee their pants.
"Aww, my tweed pants! Those were expensive, dammit!" The Faerie King whined. He and Bo-bobo hugged even more for comfort. Serviceman could've sworn he heard Bo-bobo moan.
"Oh…my…" he was instantly interested. "If they're doing what I think they're doing…it would turn me on…" He smiled a creepy smile and fainted.
"Ahh, I'm so afraid…this darkness and this possibility of man-on-man smuttiness…Ignis, where are you when I need you!?" Aqua cried. Ignis appeared by her side suddenly, lighting a flame with his fingertip.
"I'm right here for you." He smiled. Aqua gently smiled back. Serviceman took immediate notice and thought of something.
"Aqua…you told us that you and Ignis…well, that you-"
Aqua kicked Serviceman's head, silencing him. He rubbed his sore spot and continued nevertheless.
"If you and Ignis feel the way you feel, and if Umbrae's imprisoned, then why don't you profess your lo-err, thoughts right here? Perhaps better to do it now, since we never know which High Spirit we wind up saving."
Aqua blinked in surprise, and ultimately realized that Serviceman was right. Deities they were, they were in love, their covenant was broken, and their leader was gone. Perhaps now was a good chance to finally confess the love she had been feeling for so long.
"Aqua? Do you…want to tell me something?" Ignis asked, slightly aware of what Aqua was thinking.
"…yes…Ignis…"
The room fell silent, and the only lights that emerged were the auras of the two spirits. Serviceman watched in expectation, and the other two were too busy playing an extremely violent game of Connect Four. Aqua grasped her love's hands, her face pleading.
"I…I'm…I am…"
"Tell me."
Aqua cringed, growing even more nervous. She inhaled deeply, summoning her courage.
"I…I lo-"
/CRASH!/
Crashing into the wall and shedding light into the room came Torpedo Girl force-riding Hatenkou alongside Suzu, who sat and sweatdropped. She immediately set up a makeshift stage area and cast spotlights on her and Hatenkou. Suzu dragged along, not wanting to be a part of it.
"And now…" Torpedo Girl began.
The lights came on, and Torpedo Girl and Hatenkou were toting microphones, along with both of them now being dressed like stereotypical nerds/Goths. Hatenkou began the hectic wig-out with a disturbing entry song…
"If, while you're out in space love, you're horny as a targ,
take a tip from a security chief love, that phat slut Tasha Yar,
she discovered the pleasures of data,
he became her sexual pet,
'cause he's fully functional, and anatomically correct!
His Defiant, with his thrusters, will explode in your wormhole,
And he'll rub his trusty spangler wrench in your warpcore manifold,
His multiphasic torpedo will penetrate your rift,
And cause a quantum singularity in your transwarp conduit.
So if you're a filthy horta, Data's your bestest bet,
'cause he's fully functional and anatomically correct!"( 3)
"YOU SHAMELESS PERVERT!" Torpedo Girl smashed Hatenkou into the wall. He got up and grunted, spitting up blood that came from his insides.
"Rrgh…bitch! What an attitude!"
"Next time, don't sing such a blasphemous song! Now listen to the classical art I have in store…"
Torpedo Girl flourished like a magical girl, holding up her microphone. The others, including the Faerie King, speculated what was in store. She inhaled…
"The internet is really really great…for porn!
I got a fast connection, so I don't have to wait…for porn!
There's always some new site (for porn!),
I can browse all day and night (for porn!),
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light…
For porn!
Bo-bobo and the others freaked out, jaws reaching rock bottom.
"What the!? Porn!?" Everyone screamed in unison.
"The internet is for porn, the internet is for porn,
Why do you think the 'net was born?
Porn, porn, porn! IDIOTS!" (4)
"HOW ABOUT NO!?" Hatenkou finally sought his revenge, smashing Torpedo Girl into the broken lantern. Shattered glass sunk into her body, making her sob hysterically.
"Waah! Meanie!" She screeched, breaking character. Hatenkou huffed, his adrenaline soaring from success.
"At last…"
Suddenly, Trekkie the monster (5) came barreling in, striking Hatenkou in the head and knocking him unconscious. He saluted to Torpedo Girl and hurried back out.
"The woman speaks true! The internet is for porn!" He shouted before getting hit by a runaway bus.
The room fell completely silent again. Bo-bobo, now afraid of his new buddy (the Faerie King) for removing his gallbladder during their violent game of Connect Four, carefully snuck away along with Suzu. Serviceman and Hatenkou, now revived, joined them, and Aqua and Ignis decided to tag along and help themselves.
The Faerie King wiped the blood off of his outfit and sighed. "Idiots. I swear…"
"I agree completely."
The Faerie King glanced over by the broken lantern, where the silhouette of a large man sat behind it. He brushed the pieces of shattered glass out of his hair and coughed, standing.
"OVER…"
"They were stupid enough to not only act dumb but to not be suspicious on why I mysteriously would disappear at times. Normally, I'd ask for your help, but they can barely outwit a retarded rock…
The Faerie King grabbed a sack full of what appeared to be money and grasped the other man's shoulder. "You alright? Sorry I forced you to hide in there…"
"It's not a big deal, I suppose…what matters now is that we need to return to the emperor…"
The Faerie King turned to the other man, curious of what he was about to say, yet stern.
"Halekulani!"
The Faerie King-rather the man named Halekulani-pulled a small device out of his pocket. It popped, and out came a machine that appeared to be a hovering bicycle. OVER joined his side and hopped in the back seat.
"The emperor's heir has been found, OVER. I was told by the Nagoya Brothers after we hid back at the fortress on Emerald Road. They're already heading to the Amber Region now."
"Then let's get to their side."
Halekulani hopped in the front and began peddling; OVER also pedaled. Together they flew out of the toy box at a breakneck speed, making many unpleasant squeaking noises in the process…
-X-
Chambers of the Valkyries
"You're crude!"
"You're a pervert!"
"You're pathetically weak!"
"You're narcissistic!"
"Your hair is unnaturally colored!"
"You judge others on a whim!"
"You yell too much!"
"You beat the crap out of others too much!"
Beauty and Heppokomaru were in a screaming match outside a massive wall of blocks that reached the ceiling. Don Patch, being a lover of juicy, petty events, served as a referee.
"End of round six! Beauty gets another point! She's two ahead of you, Heppoko-dirtface!"
"Recount the score, jackass!" Heppokomaru kicked Don Patch's face. "I'm winning! I have to be!"
"See!? You hate losing! And you just kicked Don Patch for the seventeenth time!" Beauty shouted.
"Eighteenth…" Don Patch muttered.
" You've been yelling at him this whole time! Didn't you just call him a drunken asshole during round five!? You stuck your tongue out at him!"
"Oh, put yours away, Heppokomaru! Why name a kid that, anyway!?"
"You're pretty fat and ugly for a girl named 'Beauty'! All that fighting makes you wrinkle!"
"You're sexist too! Well, I've seen you accidentally flash in the shower back home, and I'd say that…it's smaller than a thumbnail!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
"'IT'S' SMALL!"
Don Patch was exploding spontaneously from excitement. He raised Beauty's arm, signifying that she won the screaming bout.
"Whoo! Heppokomaru got owned! Heppokomaru got owned!" Serviceman came from behind, cheering on.
"YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!" Heppokomaru kneed Serviceman into a boiler filled with hot cheese.
"Ugh! I'm sick of you people!" Heppokomaru furiously beat up the wall behind him. Bo-bobo came up to him and constrained him, making him even more furious.
"Boy, that's enough. Go and apologize." He was blunt and stern, using much of his muscle to calm the wild child.
"Rgh…it isn't fair…why do you always take her side!? What has she ever done for you!?" he screamed, breaking free.
"You haven't done much either, Heppokomaru." Beauty firmly frowned.
"Now Beauty, you apologize yourself, alright? Don't be stubborn."
"Ahh…" Beauty groaned. "Ugh…"
The two teenagers were forced to face one another, both of them still ticked.
"Gomen (6)." Heppokomaru grunted in a low voice.
"Gomen." Beauty replied the same way.
"Ahh, that's better. Now let's get going, shall we?" Bo-bobo seemed a bit too perky for their situation.
"I'M COMING, GIRLFRIEND!" Although he was back to his original shape, Don Patch smashed through the wall of blocks and caused it to crumble. Everyone freaked out, including the High Spirits.
"My oh my…" Ignis nearly fainted.
Suddenly, from behind, millions of Valkyries swarmed into the area where the wall was broken. They cheered in ecstasy, screaming and shouting random lines from the Bo-bobo anime. They caused the entire party to spin in place, making Serviceman puke and the others dizzy.
"Oh, gnarly…" Suzu sighed, teleporting into Bo-bobo's afro by accident. She discovered that his credit card was stashed inside, and smirked evilly, stealing it.
"Uhh…does this mean we go forward?" Beauty asked, eyes round.
"Of course…stupid!" Heppokomaru facepalmed himself.
"Ohh, touchy…"
"THEN LET'S GOOO!"
From behind, the thunder spirit Fulguralis charged in, bolts of electricity flying behind him, riding on a flying bullet train. He obliterated everyone except Bo-bobo, who was too busy playing tea party to care.
"Has he been drinking Red Bull (trademark) again?" Ignis sighed, fearful. Fulguralis smashed the room into bits, leaving nothing but electric sparks remaining. The final room was near them. Fulguralis drew out his arms and began to charge electricity through his gloves and earrings.
"Oh! He's going to attack…" Suzu speculated.
"Whoever you are in there, don't underestimate us!" He crossed his arms together, charging up golden bolts that crackled. His aura glimmered, popping in oranges and reds like fireworks.
"Supreme…"
The bolts stored themselves. A massive light overwhelmed the party, making Bo-bobo burn his face off with the tea he was serving. He screamed almost as loud as the bolts' crackling sounds.
"…Thunder!!"
The lightning gathered into his gems, forming a small pentagram. The bolts gathered, shot forward, and lit up the room at breakneck speed. Lightning flew everywhere, ultimately destroying the corridor entrance and about half of the room itself. Tennosuke and his soldiers, who were waiting, all began to cry.
"Waah, mommy…" Tennosuke whimpered.
Fulguralis sighed, wiping his brow. "Well, that ought to get us started. Come on, Sir Bo-bobo!"
Bo-bobo, having just given his face plastic surgery, spun around shouting a cheerful "okay!" Everyone else screamed and nearly died-Tennosuke included-from his dreaded face job; inflated skin, no lips, and a million paper clips stuck on the nose.
"You, the leader of the Valkyries!" Bo-bobo pointed to Tennosuke. "Unhand the High Spirit you possess! In the name of the moon, I'll punish you! (7)"
"He ripped that off, didn't he…" Beauty muttered. "Idiot…"
Tennosuke fell into panic for a moment, but regained his composure seconds after. He inhaled and performed several actor-esque calming techniques and staple-gunned his neck in order to calm down. He was ready, mean face and all.
"So, you've come to face another of Wizard Softon's great guardians? I am General Tokoro Tennosuke. I presume that you came here with the intention of freeing the High Spirit in my possession? Well, you're not-Waah!"
Tennosuke stepped down from the podium he was standing on and stumbled over the stairs. He landed flat on his face, nose bleeding. He slowly got up and began to cry. The party laughed at his pain.
"Loser!" Heppokomaru jabbed a finger at the jelly man. He sobbed even harder.
"Wah! You just wait! I'll kick all your asses! I'm keeping Aerealis all to myself!" Tennosuke hiccupped.
Ignis, Aqua, and Fulguralis twitched at the fellow High Spirit's name. They stared at one another. They whispered into each others' ears and nodded. Fulguralis took another swig of Red Bull (trademark). They spun around and faced Bo-bobo with a look of appeasement.
"Ahh…Sir Bo-bobo, maybe you can just…surrender to this, erm, man…honestly, I do not believe that there is any need to rescue all of the High Spirits…just a few, perhaps…" Ignis waved his hand back and forth.
"What? Why are you saying this?" A question mark appeared over Beauty's head.
"Um, let's just say that we've had…a very…colorful history with the High Spirit of the wind, dear…" Aqua mimicked Ignis' action.
"Aerealis is a dumb dips--t that needs to be chastised and eaten alive! Seriously!" Fulguralis was much blunter. Everyone else, villains and spirits included, collapsed.
"The hell!? One of our revered spirits is a duchebag!?" Torpedo Girl shouted, gasping.
"Yep. Over-emotional, lazy, always jealous, and constantly sticking raisins up my nose when I use the bathroom for too long. That is how Aerealis is. He's a psychotic moron who can barely keep a rein under his abilities." Fulguralis picked ear wax out of his ear, sneering.
"Oh my, an incompetent High Spirit…is he at all connected with the big tornado that swept over the Sapphire Region last year?" Beauty asked.
"Ohh yeah. Definitely. His pizza was promised to be delivered in 30 minutes when he ordered that day…"
"When did it come?"
"30 minutes and 13 seconds."
"So it was thirteen seconds late…and that was why he went…anal?" Beauty's face twisted into annoyance.
"He's done worse. Trust me."
Tennosuke remained dazed as Fulguralis told his story. He escaped it and retained his formality. "As I said, the High Spirit that belongs to me is none of your business. And for even thinking of coming here, I'm going to have my troops kill you! Yay!" Tennosuke flapped his arms merrily, making the party sigh.
"Okey-dokey! Valkyrie Stilt Walkers, attack!" Tennosuke leapt onto a pink-colored graffiti-encased tank and blew a whistle. Several dozen Valkyries emerged from behind him, all walking on stilts reaching over two meters high.
"Ohh, I am so ready to duke it out with you spirits! Yeah! Yeah!" Don Patch pulled out the hand bombs he almost never used. He spun around the launching mechanism and whipped the bomb-holding device forward. A small explosion caused ten of the soldiers to crash. To add insult to injury, the bomb also covered the soldiers with cottage cheese and chicken feathers.
"Whoo! Naked twister!" Don Patch spun around rapidly, blowing away all the other Stilt Walkers. They, as one would tell, wound up completely naked and spread across tabloids for months.
"Wow…" Heppokomaru's eye twitched slightly at the sight of the naked men; he and his awkward, romantic, hell-bound encounters with Namero irked him once again. "Bad memories…" He twitched violently, drooling.
Bo-bobo struck the final blow, decapitating the final Stilt Walker with his blade. Blood spewed like a geyser from the neck, along with some daisies that blossomed randomly. He hoisted his bloody knightsword on his shoulder and spat.
"Bring yourself on, Tennosuke!" He courageously slithered his nostril hair out of his nostrils. Tennosuke shrieked for a second, afraid.
"Ahh, what do I do!? What do I do!? Oh!"
Tennosuke blew his whistle again. "Valkyrie Stack, attack!" Tennosuke giggled at the play on words as Valkyrie soldiers stacked themselves on top of each other like a human totem pole. They aligned a formation that allowed them to surround all the party members.
"Surrounded…or are we?" Torpedo Girl snickered. She charged her aura and blasted off into the sky, breaking out of the chamber. She was completely out of earshot in mere seconds.
"…okay?" Beauty squeaked.
Crashing back at over 500 kilometers per hour was the Red Mage herself-and this time, she had bought friends-copies of herself!
"Gokukaku Zanketsu Shinken Ougi: Torupedou rockku!"
The multitude of Torpedoes caused the stacks to fall completely apart. The men were both thrown out of the toy box (and shipped to work camps by angry mobs supporting the "People for Chicken's Rights" outside) and severely injured. She finally began an incantation:
"Mana mana errate errate!
Kenotêtos Astrapsatô de Temetô! Dios Tukos!"
From the air emerged a massive cascade of purple-hued lightning that dropped like an axe, sharp and powerful. The impact of the crackling bolts severely damaged the chamber as much as to open it up completely. Tennosuke's tank was also damaged from the heat, the front partially melted.
"Wah…ah…" Tennosuke stuttered, completely upset. Something inside him snapped. Inside, he began to feel the same pain he felt from his old days as a supermarket product…
Tennosuke Flashback Mode
A supermarket. The exterior was typical: a yellow and orange striped banner, automatic doors with a green rim, and fruit on display. The interior was no less casual. Shoppers making their daily stock on food bustled in and out at various points. It is here that Tennosuke had once lived…
"Alright, all that's left is tokoroten…" A female shopper wandered over to the refrigerated section where cartons of all sizes contained tokoroten. Right in the middle of that display was a humble Tokoro Tennosuke, sitting with a dull, almost desperate expression on his face. Next to him was a sign indicating his price, a cheap 100 yen.
"Ah…"
The woman froze stiff at the sight of the anthropomorphic food product. He smiled, his expression becoming flirtatious.
"Hello there, my fine lady. Who needs those cartons when you can get me for half price? I make up forty-five cartons worth of ten-gram cartons of tokoroten, and I stay fresh all year long. Trust me!" He winked.
The lady stepped back slowly, grabbing five cartons. "Um, I already have some!"
"Why would you buy those when I'm a lot cheaper?"
"Thank you, but no!" The lady quickly ran away, on the verge of screaming bloody murder.
Tennosuke grimaced, turning sad. He held up his price sign and whimpered. "Should I lower my price again? It hasn't gotten me anywhere, but…"
-X-
Later that night…
"Ahh, you always make such a mess of the display. Why don't you clean it up for once, Tennosuke-san?" A store worker complained, rearranging the tokoroten cartons.
"You get paid for this, you know." Tennosuke began walking away with a smirk.
"Oh, before I forget, the boss wants to see you."
"Really?"
-X-
"This supermarket is a team, you hear? As a coach, so to speak, I need to let people go when they don't contribute. With that, I'll be blunt. You scare customers, you're a psychopath, and you reek. Because of these traits, I'm letting you go, Tennosuke-san."
-X-
Tennosuke's shoulders slumped. The weight of depression and unhappiness collapsed on his shoulders as if he were Atlas. Ahead was his run-down apartment. He opened the door and tugged the light rod down, allowing the room to be lit with a yellowish fluorescent glow. He dropped some groceries he bought on the floor and lied down, tears welling in his eyes.
"Why…"
-X-
The next day…
Tennosuke decided to make a stop at the local bank. He had a special plan in store, and hopefully it could be ignited with a loan he wanted…
"Um…I don't quite understand. What do you want this loan for?"
"I want to build a massive inter-dimensional toy box-style base that I can use to destroy a city, run a militia, and slay chickens for no reason."
"Um…that may not be a good investment for you or us…"
"Er…I mean, I want to open a sports bar."
End Flashback
-X-
"No…never again will I ever experience such hell…"
Tennosuke had finally snapped. He placed himself back inside the tank, charged it up, and began to ram it forward. It smashed Bo-bobo and Torpedo Girl into the wall, making the knight's body go partially limp.
"Bo-bobo!" Beauty covered her mouth, frightful.
"Ugh…"
Bo-bobo had been covered by rubble. He used his bulky strength to push himself and a near-unconscious Torpedo Girl out of it. His body was bloody, covered with purple and plum bruise marks and scuffed cuts. He spat blood, igniting his flame of his will to fight.
"So, you're getting serious. I suspected as much. Very well."
Bo-bobo cocked his head to his comrades and the High Spirits. "Let's fight!"
"Alright!"
Putting their differences aside, the party took charge at the tank of the gelatinous loser…
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY GIRLFRIEND!?" Don Patch screamed one last time, gaining the last laugh.
End of Part 3.
-X-
-And so, the final assault on Tokoro Tennosuke has begun! Who will emerge victorious? What lies in store when OVER, a traitor, and Halekulani arrive to the Maruhage Empire's emperor? What will Namero's fate be? Is the internet really for porn? Read on and find out!
-This two-week deal seems to work, because I'm so busy. I'm looking for more inspiration, so anyone can send me ideas. That way, more chapters will come quicker.
-It's safe to assume that this is the only story I'll be working on regularly for now…sorry, but as a high school sophomore, I can't do everything…wah!
FOOTNOTES
(1). A combination of ciao, an Italian greeting, and ossu, a Japanese male greeting, it is the character Reborn (see below)'s notable catchphrase.
(2). The titular character of the manga/anime Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
(3). "The Sexy Data Tango" by Voltaire
(4). "The Internet is for Porn," an iconic musical number from the musical Avenue Q.
(5). A character from Avenue Q. The musical itself is a partial parody of Sesame Street, in which it uses puppets as some of its main characters. The play also discusses mature topics and satirizes them. This character is a counterpart/parody of the Cookie Monster, in which his obsessions lie in pornography instead of cookies.
(6). One of several ways to apologize in Japanese. The reason I put it the way it is is because there are several "levels" of apology in Japanese. It can be split into four levels (4 being a minor "oops," and 1 being a "what were you thinking!?"). Gomen and gomenasai would lie around "level 3," thus indicating a lack of actual apology between Beauty and Heppokomaru.
(7). Sailor Moon's iconic pre-battle taunt.
THE INTERNET IS FOR...!?