"I can do this…I can do this…"
"Whoa! Calm down man…relax…"
"Hooohhh…"
"Now…put your hand here…yeah, that's it…"
"Oogh…"
"Now, I'll do this…"
"Ohh…"
"Now grab here!"
"Woah!"
"My turn!"
"Tighter, dammit, tighter!"
"Yeah! Awesome! That's what I'm talking about!"
Dengaku-man and Don Pacchi nearly puked at the eavesdropping of OVER and Halekulani's supposed "conversation." Then came a scream, and that caused both of them to lose it and dash in on the scene.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS SACRED IS GOING ON HERE!?" Dengaku-man and Don Pacchi shrieked in unison. Their eyes bulged at first-and then their expressions dropped dramatically…
OVER and Halekulani were playing an innocent game of Twister.
"We're playing Twister. Care to join us?" OVER asked innocently. The fake princess and the fairy collapsed.
-X-
Fourth Prelude
(Part 2: To a further "Extreme")
Princess Patches (Don Pacchi)'s Castle, Kitchen
Don Pacchi pouted and moaned as Dengaku-man cleaned off (with the same cleanser Pacchi used in the hell-cake) the utensils and rearranged the ingredients. Don Pacchi reread the recipe and found all the blatant mistakes he had made. He was brimming with energy, feeling the need to purposely mess up again so Villager D would die.
"Douche…" he muttered under his breath.
"I finished cleaning, Don Pacchi! Let's get started again, shall we?" Dengaku-man fished out the cookbook. Pacchi swiped it from his non-existent hands and smashed his face with it.
"Why don't you make the cake then!?" Pacchi screamed, his feminine face showing. Dengaku-man's eyes bulged.
"I can't really stir the batter, you know…"
"Wimp…"
Don Pacchi put the three eggs in the bowl first, then froze when time came to put the sugar in. He couldn't pick out the ingredient (God help him), so he did the first intelligent thing he did in a long time: he taste-tested the ingredients.
"Oh, here's the sugar…" He pulled a cup of sugar from the green box and put it in. He then grabbed the butter (for real this time) and the flour and began to mix the ingredients together. He remained silent as the batter began to form.
"Hey…Don Pacchi?" Dengaku-man asked.
"…yes?" The orange creature replied softly as he stirred the batter. The only noise that could be heard was the spoon clacking in the mixing bowl as it blended the ingredients together.
"…are you really alright with being…a regular KoPatch? You came to terms unusually quickly…" Dengaku-man sat on the counter, munching on a strawberry he found in the box of fruit.
Don Pacchi stopped stirring. He stood still, not instantly, but slowly, like drying cement. He began to bring his thoughts together, yet they were as clear as mud. His words could barely come from his throat. His feelings-they were as clear as his thoughts.
"…why are you asking me this, Denny?" he asked, monotone yet gentle.
Dengaku-man dipped another strawberry in the cream and ate it. "It just crossed my mind, is all. You don't have to answer." He blushed.
Don Pacchi poured the batter into the steel pan carefully, and then placed it in the oven for half an hour. He went up to his fairy friend and began to eat the fruit with the cream, igniting conversation.
"To tell you the truth, I still don't think I'm just another face in the crowd…if I stole the throne as a child or was placed there by chance, then it may mean that I have a higher purpose…"
Dengaku-man raised an eyebrow. "A higher purpose? Like the Churro-Chikuwan Megabucket?"
"Yeah! Or making Wario himself get a sex change?"
"…huh!? Is that why you fantasize about him!?"
"Yep! He's an ugly man who needs a makeover! And there's also the gang I always wanted to start up…"
"A gang?"
"I called it…Hajikegumi."
"Huh?"
"It was the imaginary gang I was in when I was little. I wanted to make it real for a long time."
"What would you do in this…gang?"
"Oh, we'd do everything. We'd break into houses and attempt to spread our belief of eternal Hajike to every citizen out there."
"Like a religious cult?" Dengaku-man's brow flattened.
"Uh-huh! We'd also blow up buildings, launch ourselves in rockets, shave our heads, tell weird Christmas stories where one of us would die from eating gelatin, smash PlayStation consoles with hammers, eat bolts with milk, worship ice cream, play with our puppet babies, rap on construction sites and get crushed, play Russian Roulette…"
-X-
Thirty Minutes Later…
"…slay ninjas, blow up marching bands, wear cow suits, blah blah blah, etc, etc…"
"OKAY, I GET IT!" Dengaku-man shrieked, making several pieces of glassware shatter. Don Pacchi's face ripped off, making the fairy yelp.
"Ahh, I'm sorry…" Dengaku-man waved his wand in an attempt to put Don Pacchi back together, but he transformed him into a clione (1) instead. "Oh, s—t!"
Clione Don Pacchi frowned as he belly flopped. "I…will f—king kill you, buttwipe…"
/Ding!/
"Kyaa, the cake's done! What do I do!?" Dengaku-man panicked.
"Take the thing out of the oven, moron…even an illiterate guy like me knows that." Clione Don Pacchi grunted.
"But the pan's too heavy!" Dengaku-man began to cry.
"Do you have any muscle tone!?"
"I don't! These aren't white arms; these are bones with a skin-like shield!" Dengaku-man pulled down the skin of his arm to reveal thin bones with no muscle on them. "I can't lift a fly!" He proved his point by attempting to flick one off the table; the flicking caused his finger to blow into pieces, making him sob.
"Then change me back to normal before the cake burns!" Don Pacchi wriggled in place. Dengaku-man waved his wand and accidentally turned Don Pacchi into a tanuki (2).
"Meh, close enough." The tanuki Don Pacchi opened the oven and caught the cake right before it began to burn. He placed it onto a plate in order to cool, then grabbed the game rifle for the Odyssey game system (3) and attempted to murder his friend. It failed, however, because the rifle was from a gaming system…
"Hah! Dummy!" Dengaku-man stuck his tongue out. Don Pacchi grabbed a real rifle this time, shot the fairy, and in seconds, a bloody blob emerged on the wall.
"Oww…"
-X-
Don Pacchi, still a tanuki, finished making the vanilla butter cream frosting, putting streaks of red coloring in it. He spread it on the cake, and then decorated it with flowers and berries. The result appeared to be a colorful, red and white-striped cake with a fruit basket full of cream-dipped berries and sugar flowers.
"Yay! It's done at last!" Don Pacchi, as a tanuki, transformed into a stereotypical house wife. "Oh, my darling husband that's bleeding to death! I heard you were coming, so I baked a cake!" Pacchi smiled, with a plethora of geraniums (4) blossoming behind him. One geranium came to life and ate one of Pacchi's spikes.
Dengaku-man, ignoring the comedy of the situation, reformed and began to hiss. His eyes were hexagon-shaped, and fire streamed from his breath. He waved his wand, smited Don Pacchi, and pooped on him.
"KISS MY TINY WHITE ASS."
With that, he levitated the cake and walked out the door.
Don Pacchi slowly reformed into his regular self-albeit, wearing a yazuka outfit, and sporting a blonde pompadour. He lit up ten cigarettes at once, walked out like a prideful club owner, lit up a stick of TNT, threw it at the fairy, caught the cake, and flipped off the fairy's remains.
"DON'T MESS WITH THE BEST."
-X-
Dining Hall
Kingdom Villager D began to chew up the carpet from sheer boredom. He had already eaten the entire cast from Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy, Love Hina, and most of Final Fantasy VII where he was finishing up chewing Sephiroth when the dynamic duo reemerged. Both the fake princess and the fairy were smiling as if nothing had happened, and they both contributed in carrying the cake.
"Oh, thank the maker! I've been waiting forever! I can finally stop eating this dog food!" Villager D spat out the remains of Sephiroth's arm and Masamune.
"Dude…it's been…like, forty-five minutes. Not that long." Dengaku-man spat his tongue out.
"Oh, screw you! That cake looks amazing! It doesn't have any poison or detergent or discarded arteries in it this time, right?" Saliva trailed from the obese man's lips.
"No detergent. Just the right ingredients, all from scratch. Enjoy." Pacchi placed the cake on the table. Villager D glomped it and immediately at the thing in one massive bite. He savored the buttery frosting, sucked on the sugar flavor, chomped the berries, and tasted the cake itself. He dropped his utensils and froze.
"Oh my God…"
"Wh-what is it?" Don Pacchi asked, afraid. Dengaku-man hid under the table due to the fat man's creepy grin.
"Oh….ohhhhh….OHHHHHH!"
"Hey, what the f—k!?" Don Pacchi shouted.
The camera zoomed in and out on the fat villager. "THIS…IS…WAY…TOO…DELICIOUS!!!"
With that, he spazzed, bounced around the room beyond three hundred sixty degrees, smashed into the wall like a monster truck, and ran as if he possessed illegal drugs. His grin was almost twice as wide as the one he had when Beauty baked him her cake.
Don Pacchi looked on and nearly fainted. Dengaku-man shot himself in the foot for no reason.
Villager D finally ended his sugar hype. He panted and nearly passed out. "Hff…that was amazing…I haven't felt this way since…well, ever!"
"You're fat." Don Pacchi pointed out like a little kid.
"I'm big-boned, not fat. Anyway, I promised you a secret, and I'm going to give it to you. C'mere." The fat man signaled, albeit with difficulty. Don Pacchi and Dengaku-man walked over as the fat man began to speak.
"Do you know about the Aquamarine Region?" he whispered.
"The region made up of those islands in the southeast…well, yes."
"Well, I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy's cousin-"
"F—KING GET ON WITH IT!" Don Pacchi threatened to shoot Villager D's head off with a microscopic pop gun.
"Okay, don't hurt me!" he cried, clearing his throat. "There's that volcano on the main island, la Montagna de Astinenza (5)…the general of the Valkyrie Unit can't keep a secret. He blathered once that a High Spirit was being guarded there by some god-like being."
Pacchi and Dengaku-man "oohed" and "aahed."
"I'm telling you this because Sir Bo-bobo's team did me a favor once. I don't really dislike them. But I can't shake the feeling that I have some hidden disposition for the man…" Villager D stood in silence, widening his eyes. Question marks appeared over the heads of the other two.
"Well, thanks for the meal!" With that, Kingdom Villager D waddled out. The fake princess and the fairy were alone.
"La Montagna de Astinenza…that volcano virtually never erupts, but there are always bizarre presences inside it. That's what scholars say. I have photos from a vacation I took there. Check them out!" Pacchi held up some photos of him, still as a princess, standing in front of the volcano. Dengaku-man sweatdropped at several of them.
"You've been here?" Dengaku-man nearly yelped when he saw a photo of Don Pacchi hanging the Minister of the castle above the volcano pit; both were smiling.
"Indeed. It's really cool. There's a lot of flora and fauna, and a jungle, and the hub of the mainland is Blue Spring Village. It's amazing, really."
"Is it a vacation hot spot?"
"It should be, but the leader of Blue Spring Village insists that it shouldn't be."
"And you listened to him?"
"Yep. The leader was a cute little fellow, I must admit. I was so selfish back then that his mannerisms helped me see the way…at least until I returned home."
"Any other reasons?"
"A spiritual city exists in the jungle there."
"HUH!?"
"A spiritual city. Check it out." Don Pacchi held up a photo of him tanning in a beautiful, misty city. "That's me in Rigel (6), Spiritual City."
"Rigel…the birthplace of the Chalices…"
"Really? I had no idea."
"I read this in a book. I don't know for sure if it really is where they came from. I don't know much about the Chalices either…"
"I know squat."
The duo sat in silence for a moment longer, eating the remains of the cake they had made.
"Well Denny, you know the drill. Find Sir Bo-bobo and tell him all of this."
"Yessir!" Dengaku-man saluted and flew out the window. Don Pacchi smiled. Despite his supposed "kidnapped" status, he was enjoying his time with the fairy-child.
"That kid…might go far…"
And with that, he dressed up like a gangster and sprayed gasoline all over the dining hall, setting it on fire.
"I should've known he would do something like this…" Yuko the witch grunted as she ordered the guards to ship Don Pacchi via "Screw you over Airlines" back to his room.
-X-
Tennosuke's Chamber
"I don't know, but I've been told!" Aerealis began a march, with him wearing a Viking outfit and mostly everyone else in sexy lingerie.
"I don't know, but I've been told…" The other three spirits moaned. The party stayed in place, and Bo-bobo, Don Patch, Tennosuke, and Serviceman were all extreme-cage-dancing in a shark cage.
"Four-Kidz' is the best there is!" Aerealis rhythmically continued. The other three spirits were tired of his antics and began beating him up mercilessly, much to the others' shock.
"He must be high…" Heppokomaru sighed, changing into his regular clothes. Beauty nodded her head slowly, still aching. She tried to stand, but nearly fell again. Heppokomaru caught her on instinct.
"My…head…" Beauty moaned, grasping her head.
"That brick must've caused more damage than it appeared. Let me carry you…" he became gentle in speech and in facial appearance as he hoisted the girl into his arms. Her face tinted with a soft reddish color.
"Thanks…He-kun…"
"Ah…sure…don't mind me." He also became pink in the face. Their petty conflict had resolved for the time being. A moment was bearing for the two of them. Torpedo Girl saw them and blushed, jealous.
"Oh, OVER-sama…take me in your beefy arms and…oh…oh…" The woman fell to the ground and began to perform PG-13 actions, making Serviceman die.
"Stick me! Stick me! Stick me! Stick a pole up my butt and kill me! Kill me!" Tennosuke whined, becoming suicidal.
"Don't say that, Ten-ten!" Bo-bobo gasped, turning into a spiritual advisor. "I'm sure you have a purpose…"
"I'm worthless! Nooo!" Tennosuke swallowed a stick of TNT and died. Bo-bobo wailed.
"Did somebody say boom!?" Serviceman blew up TNT again like he did several chapters ago. Tennosuke was the lucky victim.
"Yay, my lifelong dream of death has finally been realized!" He shouted with tears of joy.
"How terribly ironic…" Suzu sighed, playing some PlayStation games with Hatenkou.
"MUST…SMASH…PLAYSTATION…" Don Patch hissed, eyes glowing.
"No…never!" Fulguralis grabbed a PlayStation memory card and smashed it into Don Patch's face. The orange man blew up in a plethora of red, white, and blue.
"Oh, fools…" Aqua sighed, kissing her ant collection. She glanced over at Ignis, still lost in thought.
"Ignis? What's the matter?"
"Oh…just thinking about what Softon said, is all…" he passed it off as if it were nothing. Aqua was deeply disturbed.
"Ignis…about what Softon said…"
"…yes?"
"About our old lives…"
The two of them, fearful of what they spoke of, began to converse quietly.
Beauty had her head on Heppokomaru's lap, napping quietly. Heppokomaru brushed some hair away from her face, confounded.
"Why do I feel this way? Stupid testosterone…"
"If you didn't have that testosterone, you would have no facial hair, a squeaky voice, and wear perfume, am I right?" Jaguar from Pyuu to Fuku! Jaguar (7) appeared out of nowhere and taunted Heppokomaru; he himself had a rather "girly" disposition; he had long, feminine lashes, a light voice, and smelled like daises.
"At least I don't molest my goldfish…" Heppokomaru sighed under his breath. "…or force others to play the recorder in order to erect a shrine made of glue that worships the "Jonnas" brothers (trademark)…"
"…shit…" Jaugar vanished into thin air.
Heppokomaru continued to watch over the girl he ultimately had a crush on. Glancing left and right, he found the coast clear (as it could be) and nuzzled his face into the girl's neck.
"Mmmm…." He rubbed it, blushing. "Why am I doing this…"
"Eww, you molested that girl!" Tennosuke screamed. Heppokomaru spat, picking Beauty up and tossing her at the tokoroten man. He cried like a wimp, and Heppokomaru stomped out with the rest of the group.
"Ohh, she smells like peaches…" Tennosuke complimented Beauty's scent.
"I am Noob Sailbot, hear me roar!" Said character came from nowhere and then exploded without reason.
-X-
Crystal Town
The entire group, plus the High Spirits, entered the town plaza, grabbing some ice cream. Hanpen the wizard/seer emerged from his house for a visit.
"How have you been, Bo-bobo?" he asked, scratching his butt.
"I'm doing okay. You?"
"Oh, same old same old. Seeking fortunes for these air-headed townspeople and all that stuff. Making fresh hanpen for the homeless. Hunting down a girlfriend. Getting a life and failing miserably. Moaning because the mail service is practically down the toilet. Predicting that a terrible apocalypse will come and it will be the fault of the douchebag emperor and his bastard son who live in the empire in the east-"
"Oh…what was that last one?"
Hanpen stirred. "Uh…football?"
"Sweet. FOOZBALL!" Bo-bobo tackled the wizard in a uniform from said sport.
"Remind me to change the cable in the house so I can watch women's wrestling tonight…no football for him, that's for sure." Hatenkou, perched on top of Hanpen's spinning roof, fingered the birds that flew by him.
"Aww, no football?" Serviceman moaned. He ate another stick of TNT and blew up.
Heppokomaru, with Beauty still beside him, sat by the flower garden with Tennosuke, who was arranging several blossoms into a beautiful set. He made a wreath of peach blossoms and crowned them on Beauty's head. He handed a tulip streaked with yellow and orange to Heppokomaru, who thanked him.
"So…have you confirmed that you are a part of us now?" Heppokomaru asked bluntly.
"Well, I have nowhere else to go, so why not? I never liked Softon all that much anyway; he's too hell-bent on revenge and all that."
"By the way, Tennosuke…can you tell us more about what you know?" Heppokomaru became serious.
Tennosuke immediately transformed into a cheeky little girl. "You're going to have to catch me!" He squealed before being tackled by Sir Bo-bobo. Heppokomaru grunted.
"Ohh…"
"Ah!"
Beauty woke up from her long slumber and rubbed the large bump on her head. She grabbed at the flowers encircled on her head and sighed, confused.
"What happened?" she sighed, dropping the flowers back in the garden.
"You were hit in the head. You seem alright now, though. Are you?" Heppokomaru asked gently.
"I…think so…"
Beauty gazed at the boy, who flinched. There they were, alone, in a flower garden, unable to be interrupted due to the inattentiveness of their idiotic friends.
"Hey, Heppo?" Beauty still had a flat expression on her face, but had a coy vocal pitch.
"Uh…yeah?"
Without wasting a second, Beauty went up and kissed Heppokomaru's forehead. His face blossomed into a powdery shade of red, and time had frozen for a microsecond. Beauty's face remained unchanged, even as she placed her lips onto his pale flesh. After a minute, she pulled back.
Heppokomaru broke the ice, still blushing. "Why…?"
"I don't know…"
The two remained in the flower garden, not moving. Torpedo Girl was still jealous, so she went up to Hatenkou and attempted to kiss him. She was able to touch him for unknown reasons, much to his chagrin.
"Pour some tequila in my navel and lie to me, Hatenkou-chan…" Torpedo Girl cooed.
"Someone please kill me…" Hatenkou sighed, agitated.
"Aren't you already dead?" Suzu asked blankly, eating her sixth ice cream cone.
"Oh yeah…s—t!"
Bo-bobo was sprawled out on a bench, with Don Patch on his left and Hanpen on his right. Serviceman had temporarily returned to work, and with a lot of work he needed catching up on, he was in for a hectic day. Suzu was reading the paper alongside Tennosuke, and Heppokomaru and Beauty still hadn't moved.
"'Archduke of the Aichi Republic dies from an estrogen overdose after farting ten consecutive times during a speech given in Spira. Longhorn Onizawa becomes leader of the Diet-House in the Yankee Republic and sent his blessings during the archduke's funeral after. Kotarou Wakana steps down from said position due to accusations of being Vincent Valentine's fiftieth cousin seventeen times removed. Reiko Akimoto finally murders Kankichi Ryotsu (8) upon discovery that he had also received breast implants. Akimoto to marry fellow zaibatsu heir Keiichi Nakagawa on an iceberg in thirteen seconds. Sephiroth eaten by mysterious glutton; fangirls perform a mass suicide in the Dead Sea Channel. Local musician Jaguar nowhere to be found.' Wow, talk about random." Tennosuke commented on all of the headlines.
"Thank god Jaguar's gone missing. He's such a toad…but the rumors of Wakana-san? That's just silly. Its' obvious that Cloud Strife is related to Valentine in some way…"
"They're both kings of emo…" Tennosuke agreed.
Suddenly, clouds washed over the sky. All the townspeople immediately ran like headless chickens into their homes. Bo-bobo and the others broke out of their trances and were immediately on their guard.
"What is this!?" Bo-bobo shouted. Hanpen gazed into his portable crystal ball and saw a vision, one that made him convulse.
"Ahh, the emperor and his bastard son are here…Sir Bo-bobo, I must assist! These two will bring the downfall of the world…"
"But what about the dark wizard?"
"Oh…crap…we're doubly screwed then…"
Tennosuke zipped on his uniform. "I'm helping too! Yeah!"
"Sweet…" Bo-bobo smirked.
Tokoro Tennosuke joined your party!
Press the Down "C" Button to have Tennosuke…uhh…err…wait, just what the holy hell can this thing do? Um…crap. Well, uh, anyway, Tennosuke's a par-class dude who can…uh…err…extend his limbs, and…yeah, that's just about it…
Current Status
Level: Level 33
Max HP: 1908/1908
Max MP: 749/749
Max SP: 28
Attack Power: 88
Defense Power: 372
Magic Power: 54
Magic Defense: 71
Class: Thief
Equipment: Jack Knife, Military Uniform, Cat-Ear Hood, Magic Ring, "Nu" Badge
Regular Skills: 17
Special Skills: 4
Unique Skills: 1
"…you suck." Don Patch axed Tennosuke completely, making him melt. The tokoroten himself was shocked at his own stats.
"What is this!? Seriously, my defense is disproportionate to everything else! And I am not a thief! I'm a Gadgeteer!"
"What the fiddlesticks is a Gadgeteer?" Bo-bobo was drooling without care as he asked.
"Er…I have no idea?"
"Ah, this appears to be a drastic situation…I, too, will assist…but only as long as I get to do whatever the hell I want!" Hanpen began to sob.
"Okay, okay! Do what you want…"
"Whee!"
Hanpen joined your party as a guest!
Due to being a guest, Hanpen cannot be controlled by the player. He will gladly assist you in battle with his magical powers-as a seer, he can predict opponent's moves…and he isn't all that bad on offense either!
Current Status
Level: Level 39
Max HP: 3001/3001
Max MP: 1700/1700
Max SP: 30
Attack Power: 134
Defense Power: 116
Magic Power: 446
Magic Defense: 200
Class: Seer
Equipment: Princess Rod, Judo Gi, Tofu Focusband
Regular Skills: 40
Special Skills: 23
Unique Skills: 1
"Oh yeah, I'm awesome, I got amazin' magic baby…" Hanpen danced at his own stats while Tennosuke wallowed in shame.
The clouds ended brewing and began to open in a massive shaft. Beams of cloudy black light pierced onto the pavement, and fog began pouring from the same source. The eerie setup was topped with a massive sky ship descending into the now-dense, foggy air. The ship was luxuriant, a mixture of a steel warship and a pirate ship, adorned with lavish gold. The emblem of the sail was that of a giant golden eagle, a symbol well-recognized by those who knew of the Maruhage Empire…
"…s—t." Hanpen's head melted.
"Oh…" Beauty's face fell in horror, her eyes fading white. "I remember…"
"Th…this is…" Heppokomaru's eyes rolled to the back of his head.
"OH MY GOD IT'S CHEESE---" Don Patch stared at an old piece of cheese that was out on the road.
Bo-bobo raised an eyebrow. He had remembered this ship. This ship loomed over the Diamond Hair Kingdom more than once, he could recall. When he left the kingdom at thirteen, he heard news of the ship visiting more and more often. He never knew who was inside, at least until now…
"Th-th-th-the emperor…" Torpedo Girl gaped.
"Wh…" Suzu was confused.
Hatenkou faded from sight and ran away. Tennosuke joined him.
"Hey, nice weather we have, huh?" Serviceman returned from his trip, smiling and unaware of the mist that began to blow around him.
The wind began to kick up as the ship descended into the hole where Princess Patches' castle was uplifted. Steam blew from the cracks of the ebony gate that guarded the spot. In the distance, Bo-bobo could spot several figures emerging from the ship's port side.
"Oh…"
The mist began to clear away, making way for several noble officials, fighters, and their leader. A smaller shadow was standing behind him, just as sinister. The leading man smashed the ebony gate apart with his fist and entered the town plaza, just as thunder began to rumble in the sky. The emperor entered the plaza, blowing away the thick mist, turning it into a bloody red color. His boots clacked on the clay pavement.
Bo-bobo's team clustered together. They were thunderstruck, lost in a frame of mixed fear and intimidation, away from time and reality. The emperor stared them down, Leviathan III.
The emperor's clothes were a fine mixture of battle gear and regal garb. In the middle of his chest, a massive orb-like brooch clustered his armor over his finely tweed black shirt and pants; the clothing was aligned with golden braids and minute-sized pearls on the braided buttons. His hoop-like shoulder pads, adorned with fine steel, had spade emblems on them. His gloves and arm pads were spiked slightly and made of a similar material. To top off his armor, six tentacle-like extensions protruded from the back of his armor, tipped and embedded with large red and blue gems, one on each side. His forehead had the emblem of the empire, the golden eagle, right on the front, and it added fiery brightness to his spiky red hair. The man had a finely sculpted face, every feature bold and masculine; his thick, spiky eyebrows were such an example. The emperor had no scepter, and his aura of thick power signified that he didn't need one.
"His eyes…they're colored like sewage water…" Beauty envisioned one of her memories, that memory being a man with similar eyes. They were black, tinted with a disgusting citrine green that had the resemblance to sewage waste.
"Do I know this man!?"
Leviathan III crossed his arms and placed a rather smug expression on his face. With a small breath, he reared the spine to introduce himself.
"Why, hello there. Am I at the right place? The central region of the Don Kingdom?" he asked. His voice had a deep, vibrating timbre that was severely haunting and intimidating.
Bo-bobo swallowed, mustering up his courage. "What brings the emperor of the Maruhage Empire here…?"
Leviathan quietly chuckled. "Oh, nothing really…"
"I doubt you were simply 'dropping in…'" Torpedo Girl spat as firm as she could. Even she was shuddered by the emperor's presence.
"You must be the Shinsetsu Nonsense Team. I've heard about you…you are trying to rescue your dear homeland from the p…ah, a wizard, am I right?"
"Well, duh…" Tennosuke slapped the emperor's arm. Everyone else screamed "you f—king idiot!" in their heads.
"Then we have a common goal."
Bo-bobo raised an eyebrow. Hanpen stepped forward. "It must be some kind of scheme…you're lyin', foo!"
"What's with the accent?" Heppokomaru thought with a sweat drop.
"This is no scheme for a fool, it is genuine. I want to take down the p-…uh, wizard myself. I have plenty of help with me, so we will be much more successful indeed."
"Wait…why are you just telling us this? This is suspicious." Heppokomaru stated, edging his voice.
"I'm celebrating, really. Our funds for the empire have begun to resurface, my palace is becoming pristine, and I have found my heir."
Everyone gasped. The rumors of the emperor, none knew about. But they did know the basic rumor that he could not reproduce; why that was, no one knew.
"My heir is very willing to help you all. I think you know him well…"
Leviathan tossed his cape aside to reveal a shadow behind him. The shadow was that of a boy with spiked hair…
End of Part 2
-X-
-The emperor of the Maruhage Empire now proposes to help the Shinsetsu Nonsense Team!? Is this the truth, or is it a great scheme!? And who is the emperor's heir!? Read on and find out!
-If I don't get at least one review, even a criticism, within a three-chapter span, I won't write anymore. I'm really busy nowadays anyway…this may be the only story I can stick to. So please, I'll do my very best…"
FOOTNOTES
-(1). A pteropod that is transparent, gelatinous, and near-microscopic in size, also known as a sea angel.
-(2). A mythical raccoon-like creature in Japanese mythology that can transform, like the kitsune fox.
-(3). The very first home video game system in history, made in 1972. Its controller "gun" was modeled after an actual rifle, as opposed to the pistols used on the later NES, Sega Genesis, etc.
-(4). The geranium flower symbolizes stupidity and folly.
-(5). Italian, can be translated as "Mountain of Temperance," or "Mountain of Abstinence."
-(6). The brightest star in the Orion constellation and the sixth brightest star in our galaxy, a blue supergiant.
-(7). A gag manga that began serialization in WSJ in 2000, telling the story of a guitarist who meets a bizarre and jerkish recorder player named Jaguar, who is hell-bent on teaching the recorder to everyone. The chapters are episodic.
-(8). The three central characters of the Kochikame franchise.
-Dial 6969 if you are dyslexic.