Neross: Let it be known that when I rule the world Time Warner Cable will be the first to die. Yes, you heard me. Damn bastards try telling me my laptop won't connect to the internet because I was connecting to my NEIGHBORS wireless network. BULL. SHIT!! I shall tear out those marauding tech-support's EYEBALLS and use them to garnish my martini.

*ahem* Yes well...now that that is over...now you know why I haven't updated. Anyway...thank you much for the reviews and such.....GIVE ME GIFT-BASKETS!!!

Warning: This chapter may contain grotesque imagery and violence. Oh yes....and possibly rape.....it all depends on my mood soooo....maybe...MAYBE...

Chapter Seven : Let's eat it's eyes.

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Zim didn't want to think about what he was looking at. Who would? The thing was hideous, repulsive, utterly and completely disgusting. The...er....larvae....which had spawned from his SUPERIOR genes, as well as Dib's INFERIOR ones, was just floating there, taunting him, with it's....DISGUSTING appearance. Like any irken child the clone was growing inside of a tube, already at the size of a human toddler sack-child, it's tiny four-clawed hands continued o slowly grasp and unclench, as if dreaming. It's feet, unlike irken feet, held four toes instead of three.

There were several other notable difference which were clearly visible simply by taking a good look at the suspended clone. It's skin was a pale mixture of pink and green, almost as if the child couldn't make up it's mind while it was still being developed. It's ears were very small and slightly pointed at the tips. Ontop of it's very large head was a small pair of antennae which curled just slightly at the ends, but only slightly. And atop it's head was a small tuft of curly black hair. There was also something else about it which had Zim not only disgusted, but furious as well. It was female.

"I think it's sort of cute..." a voice stated behind him.

Zim turned with an annoyed glare toward the other parent in this odd pair. Dib. The human was smiling again, eyeing the combined product of their genes. With an irritated snort Zim turned to the cause of all of this mess. "Gir! Why on earth is this ....half-breed....female?" Zim asked, tripping over the last word like a painful memory. The little robot smiled stupidly and pointed at Dib who simply raised an eyebrow. "How is it being female MY fault?"

Zim turned to Dib with a glare, now that understanding the anomaly had been made quite clear, "Because irkens do not carry the genes for female parts. Females are random anomalies which happen once in a batch of every few hundred. And that is only because the computer starts out with an exuberant amount of 'x' genes in order to fill the demand for 'x' chromosomes needed to make a proper male irken."

Dib blinked, and then scratched the back of his head, suddenly reminded of the bun to hot-dog ratio problem. "Oh so...your species doesn't...." Dib left the rest hanging. The alien rolled his eyes and turned his eyes back to the tiny creation of their DNA. "No...generally we do not. Only the Tallest and those programed for such activities may mate. Invaders are programed with the ability to mate only because there may be moment where coupling with a species will serve to hide us or observe them better."

Dib nodded absently and then turned back to look at his child as well. It felt odd saying that. He had never expected to have kids....let alone one with an aline...or another male. The whole thing was a little creepy. He was just glad this wasn't like one of those horrible fanfictions where guys could wind up PREGNANT. After all it just wasn't physically possible....or ....well...not that was about it...thoug the idea was also sort of disturbing on a deep dark level of Dib's soul. And it was about this time that the human noticed Gir and Zim fighting over a remote control. "Erg...no Gir! Stop it! Hand over the incubating control!" Zim was grunting out.

Gir whined and pulled back harder, wrestling the remote free from his irken master. "Nuh-uh! I wanna play with the cute babeh!" Seeing Gir's path of movement Dib merely stuck out a leg and tripped the robot before picking up the remote himself. He was just studying it for a moment when suddenly he found a gloved hand upon his own, tugging at him. "Give it back Dib-human. I must get rid of this atrocity before it's too late." Zim ordered furiously. Dib raised the remote up over Zim's head. "No way!" he proclaimed, "I'm not letting you kill it just because you don't like it!" Dib ground-out back. Then, as the two fought over the remote there was a resounding beep and a metal arm reach out of the ceiling to grab the tube holding their combined clone.

Zim visibly paled and Dib stared on in shack as their clone-child was ruthlessly plopped down onto the bare floor, the robotic arm shocking it's back before attaching an irken pak on it's back. Then the arm was gone and both human and irken stared in mixed shock and awe at the tiny little thing. The child shook it's head and looked up straight at them, it's eyes indeed like Zim's, large and red, though it had a nose like Dib and a thin pinkish-green line of a mouth which stared up at them in much the same way they stared at it.

Then, in an instant, Zim found that the tiny thin was clutching onto his leg. "I love you momma!" A tiny voice muttered. Zim blanched, remembering his own birth and claim of love for an unfeeling metal arm. Zim let out a sigh of irritation and reached down to pick the naked half-irken child up to hold it aloft in his arms. Gir giggled madly, " Aww...it's so cute! ....LET'S EAT IT'S EYES!" he proclaimed. Zim glared at the robot, "No Gir! Zim Two is not for eating."

Dib blinked in mixed confusion and indignation. "Zim two? A moment ago you didn't even want to keep her."

Zim turned and shrugged, "There is no use eliminating our worm-baby now. We might as well raise it. Besides, anything formed of MY superior genes is worth keeping around. Isn't that right Zim Two?"

The child merely cocked an eyebrow at Zim and turned toward Dib. "I want other mommy to hold me now..." it stated simply, attempting to crawl over Zim's shoulder to get to Dib. Dib laughed and Zim merely scowled and jostled the child back into place.

"I say we call her...Zib." Dib said after awhile, wiggling a finger at his and Zim's newest bundle of joy. Zim raised an eyebrow. "ZIB?! What sort of PUTRID name is THAT?!" Zim asked with an annoyed twitch to his eye.

Dib merely gave him an exasperated grimace, "It's our names combined...idiot..." Dib commented. Zim blinked blankly and then glared at Dib and turned away from him as if to shield the girl. "Of...of COURSE Zim knew this. You did not need to tell him."

Dib merely rolled his eyes and leaned over Zim's shoulder to smile down at the child. "How about it? Want to be Zib?" the human asked.

The half-breed girl smiled and grabbed a lock of Dib's hair with her tiny clawed hand and grinned with oddly pointed teeth, "I like it! Call me Zib! Zib is almighty! Zib will conquer.....stuff!" she proclaimed. Dib paled and sent a worried look toward Zim who merely grinned victoriously.

Dib let out an irritated sound and pulled his hair out of the child's grasp. "Well...at least we know she has your desire to conquer worlds and enslave their inhabitants." Zib blinked and turned to pulling on Zim's antennae. Zim growled in irritation and attempted to back his thin black appendage. "Yes...and it seems she has your knack for annoying me. Stop that now." the last was directed at their offspring as he wrested his antennae back from it. "Hopefully they'll be able to weed that out of her on the invader training world."

Dib felt his heart stop. "You're....sending her to training already?"

Zim looked up at Dib with a bland look that seemed to question the human's judgment. "Of course. That is how we were able to develop the empire we have today. Our irken soldiers are the most well trained in the universe. Why would I not send her immediately?"

Dib glared at the alien. "Because she's still just a toddler. She's not old enough to go through invader training."

Zim glared back at Dib,"And where do YOU suppose we send her? Back to EARTH To be raised by your insidious SKOOL system? Bah! Your inferior teaching methods pale in comparison to irken teaching methods."

Dib's eye twitched in frustration, "Well at least our methods don't involve grueling training which might get her killed."

"LIES! You know nothing of our methods!" Zim proclaimed, pointing at Dib accusingly. "And even if we WERE to send her back to you pitiful world, how well do you think she'll be able to blend into your pathetic culture without being trained in the ways of stealth and integration?"

Dib hesitated and looked as if he was about to retort when the palace shook, throwing both Tallest around, forcing them to fight to keep their footing. "Please tell me that was an earthquake." Dib muttered allowed.

"Impossible..." Zim ground out seriously, a look of anger and serious worry upon his face. "...we have since eliminated such events as plate shifting." Zim commented. The irken gently set his daughter down, handing her over to the tiny SIR unit who produced a toy moose for the toddler, amusing her greatly. "GIR! Watch over Zib. I must investigate this...disturbance. Come Dib-stink."

Dib nodded and ruffled the child's hair as both Tallest headed for the door. "Be good Zib. Make sure nothing happens to her Gir."

Gir gave an obedient 'Yes Sir!' and saluted him before returning to playing with the child.

Dib and Zim hurried down the hallways of the irken palace, each one expecting the worse. Tiny piece of debris began to fall from the ceiling as the palace shook once more. As the human and irken made their way toward the control room the sounds of shouting and panicked screams became more clear.

They never made it to the control room however. There was another, much stronger, tremor and then a large explosion racked the hallway just before them, blowing it apart. Both Tallest were thrown backwards from the blast. Dib coughed and gripped his head against the ringing in his ears. The human strained his eyes to see through the dust, smoke, and debris as several silhouettes became just visible through the large hold that had been ripped through the hallway wall. Beside him Dib could feel Zim stirring though barely. As he turned to shake the alien awake he felt someone lift him up and away.

Dib turned on his assailant, fist raised and stopped when he recognized who it was he was facing. "Mr. Dwicky?!" Dib exclaimed, confused and shocked, his fist lowering. "What....what are you doing here?" Dib asked.

Dwicky stared in awe at Dib for a moment before smiling, much in the way he had when Dib had first walked into his office years ago. In fact the SKOOL councilor had barely changed at all, even his white shirt tie and formal black pants had managed to remain the same in the years since Dib had seen him vanish upon an alien craft. "I'm here as a part of the Resisty to help take down the evil irken empire. Now...you should probably come with me Dib."

Dib blinked in surprise and shook his arm free from Dwicky's hold. "I'm sorry Dwicky but there's something you should know..." Dib let out a sigh and held out his hands as if explaining something difficult. "I'm one of the irken Tallest now. I CAN'T go with you. I fI leave now..." Dib stopped. Why DIDN'T he want to go. He couldn't think of a reason why. Except ....there was Zim, and Zib...and Gir...and well...mostly Zim. After all, he had spent so much of his life trying to take the alien down. In some odd way he still had a connection to the idiotic irken, even now.

Dwicky didn't wait for him to finish his sentence however. "Oh I know who you are now Dib. That's why I need you to come with me."

Dib stared at the other human blankly, more confused than ever. "You know? But...then...why-?"

Once again Dib's sentence remained unfinished as Dwicky swiftly placed a tazer to Dib's sternum. The shock that ripped through him was just enough to have him effectively pass out in the once-conselour's arms. "Well that was rather easy."

The human became stock-still however as he heard the soft-whirring of a lazer at his ear. He turned slowly to see Zim holding a lazer to his head, glaring at him with more ferocity than he had glared down Tak with. "I don't think so. Drop the putrid Dib-boy now. He belongs to Zim! And you are not permitted to touch Zim's property."

Dwicky smiled oddly at the weapon pointed at his head, cocking his head slightly as he did. With a slow movement Dwicky let Dib go, letting him fall to the floor with a loud thunk. "Hello there Zim! Great to see you again. I must admit I was surprised when I heard of you both out here. Almost as surprised as that day I learned that aliens were real. Almost."

"Stop your spouting pathetic earth slime. I do not need you yapping as I melt your head." Zim ground out, fingering the lazer's trigger a little harder, the whirring sound growing a bit louder as a red light began to form at the end of the weapon's barrel.

"Of course." Dwicky stated, before making a swift movement which knocked the lazer out of Zim's hand. Then, within a blink of an eye Dwicky had Zim pinned to the wall, crushing Zim's pak into the wall with such force that it cracked from the pressure, pieces of it breaking off to the floor below. "You know...I heard that irkens were quite passionate lovers. I wonder Zim...just how passionate are you with your human partner?" Dwicky muttered, his smile becoming odd with it's creepy sort of psychotic glee.

Zim merely glared back defiantly, "That's none of your business human waste."

Dwickly merely raised an eyebrow and grinned before running a hand under Zim's shirt across his lean, green chest. The irken let out a hiss of both pleasure, distaste, and anger. "What do you think you're doing earth sludge?!" Zim snarled furiously as the older human nibbled on Zim's neck.

"Well...back on earth I'm sure it would be called pedophilia...amongst other things, but out here in space," Dwicky swiftly tugged down the irken's pants and underwear in one quick move, "it can be anything I want." he finished. Zim's eyes widened in shock and then lowered in fury. "You human piece of SHIT! Don't you DARE touch Zim's superior form!" The irken fought furiously to free himself, but found himself at a disadvantage against this human who was no taller than himself. It infuriated him to know he had been over-powered by someone shorter than the Dib-human. No...it infuriated him that this human would attempt to over-power him PERIOD.

Despite Zim's struggles the dark-haired human managed to snag one of Zim's antennae, which he chewed and suckled harshly, sending waves of pleasure, pain, and revulsion through Zim's body. "Stop ...that....my-my leggu...stop..." Zim moaned out, finding it hard to fight against the intense pleasure such a motion caused, no matter how disgusted he was at himself for finding any pleasure in the action at all.

"What's the matter Zim? Does Dib not know to stimulate these?" Dwicky punctuated his question by biting down hard on said appendage, causing Zim to howl in pain, "So sad that you do not have a partner who can please you oh mighty Tallest."

Zim growled lowly and pointedly sent a death-glare at Dwicky. "As if you could! You are pathetic when compared to the Dib human. He is far superior to you...pitiful earth rapist."

Dwicky, at long last, glared back and let Zim's antennae go. Instead the human moved to unlatch his own belt, pulling down his pants to reveal his throbbing manhood. Zim struggled once more, screaming profanities in both irken and english. Making it quite clear what he though of Dwicky and his 'pride'.

"You slobbering piece of earth trash! Keep your impotent human organs away from Zim! Coward! BASTARD! You piece of shit HU-man! You are not fit to lick the slime from Zim's-!" But Zim's ranting was cut off as Dwicky shoved his dick forcefully into the irken's opening with little mercy. Zim let out a sound, very much like one chocking before snarling and glaring at the human through his tears.

"I will maim and slaughter you for this..." Zim snarled quietly, his breath caught short by the pain and pure disgust he felt as Dwicky pounded into him.

"You're not really in a position to do anything Zim." Dwicky ground out, sounding nearly giddy.

"He may not be. But I am." cam a voice from behind them both as a visible shock of electricity ripped through the ex-consellor's body. With a harsh hissing sound Dwicky crumpled to the ground, still twitching from the voltage that had run through his spinal chord. Zim took to his feet unsteadily and stared up at his savior merely with tired red eyes. Dib looked back with much the same expression, either one wishing to comment on what had just taken place.

Instead the two leaned on each other and limped their way through the wreckage until the irken guards were finally able to locate them and help them to the healing wing.

Unfortunately for them all, Dwicky had managed to escape. Though Zim himself signed the order begging for the man's death and Dib wasn't so sure he blamed him this time. Neither one mentioned what had happened to the irken tallest to the medical crew or the guards. Nor anyone else for that matter. Somehow they had both come to the conclusion that such things were best left unmentioned and un-talked about. It had become quite clear to them both that a new plateau in their 'relationship' had been reached and both human and irken had no clue how to approach it without something breaking in the process.

Zib and Gir in the meantime went on harassing the medical crew who simply had no idea how to deal with the hyperactive robot and an inquisitive irken/human hybrid, though the census generally was that she should be give a muzzle in order to prevent her from biting the ankles, legs, and other reachable appendages of any irken who came close.

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Neross: ....what? I'm a horrible person...you should be used to this by now. And remember I said they're might be rape. I like living up to expectations. .....Alright so not really....

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You're all going to hurt me terribly aren't you?

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I'm going to run away screaming in terror now.