damn R kelly, you have weird fetish with pissing on people, huh? and if you're wondering where i live then ill tell you. i live in eastbumfuck, but you should know this seeing how it was named after you ^_^ and i have some other dude that goes by the name of horn dawg thats lookin for some lovin. so how about it? give horn dawg a little bit of lovin and shovin. and wow, if your that desperate to get laid or to get a blowjob shouldnt you be out somewhere fucking a random hooker you found? you know, one that attempted to pickpocket you but realized that you were broke so you decided to hold her against her will so she fucked you for free. oh wait, thats a tranny? i had no idea that my flamer bloodbathsucks was a tranny. small world, huh? and yes, im sure you have a huge cock but the question is, is it bigger than jiminy cricket's?
jiminy: heeeellll no! no one can beat my one-incher!
r kelly: haha, i have a 12-incher!
me: five dollar footlongs from subway dont count. try again
r kelly: oh, darn..... *takes a bite out of the sub* its meaty!
me: and i dont have time to give you a blowjob, but my pencil sharpener can. just stick your little number right inside and wait for the momentum to begin. i heard that its a an experience unlike any other
random guy: it'll castrate you!
me: nah, cant cut off whats not there ^_^ not a fan of anal fucking, but you can go kiss my ass for all i care. so on that note, go have fun with my sharpener but make sure you clean it when you're done.
Worlds Collide
Chapter 32
Zoe screamed as the pole came loose, clattering to the ground. She stumbled over to Takuya, who was in the process of removing the sword from his shoulder.
"Takuya," she gasped, falling to her knees. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll live," he replied, dropping to his knees beside her. "That fucking hurt, though."
The two embraced, covering each other with their blood. Zoe sobbed into his chest, while Takuya held onto her tightly.
"I finally killed that fucker." He gently stroked her hair. "Now that he's dead, I'm officially the new ruler of Hell."
"Um, guys?" Kouichi called out. "I don't mean to ruin the moment, but can you get these damn poles out of us?"
"Oh, shit!" Takuya rushed over, Zoe right behind.
Together, they pried Kouichi, Jasmine, Kouji, and J.P. free. Jasmine and the twins appeared to be fine for the most part, despite the gaping holes in them. J.P., however, was unresponsive.
"Dude, wake up!" Takuya smacked him across the face, hoping to get some type of response.
His friend only vacantly stared upward, his eyes glassy.
"J.P., wake up!" Kouji yelled. "Get your ass up already!"
Finally, his chest heaved up, followed by an abrupt squirt of blood spraying out of his mouth.
"Fuck!" He gasped, trying to catch his breath.
"Dammit..." Kouji wiped the blood off his face, annoyed but relieved at the same time.
J.P. looked around, attempting to sit up. "What happened?"
"Well, Takuya's the new Devil," Kouichi said nonchalantly. "Too bad you missed it."
"Are you kidding me?! Damn, I miss everything!" J.P. complained.
"Not our fault that you decided to take a nap," Kouji quipped.
J.P.'s eyes bulged out. "A nap?! Why I oughtta-"
"Guys, shut up!" Takuya snapped. "The important thing is that we all survived. So quit bitching already."
"Sorry," his friends muttered.
Zoe tiredly rested her head on Takuya's shoulder and looked around to see the battle still ravaging around them, bodies of demons and angels littering the roads.
"What about them?" She asked. "How do we get them to stop?"
"That's the easy part." Takuya shakily got to his feet, pulling Zoe up with him. "Enough!"
The battling armies paused, looking at him with confusion. Already, Takuya could feel his energy coming back. His wounds healed up and he felt a powerful surge though his body.
"What's happening?" Zoe asked, aware of the slight trembling in his body.
Takuya grinned at her. "Comes with becoming the new devil. I'm more powerful than ever before, which is definitely a plus."
"So now what? I think they're waiting on you to give them an explanation."
"Oh, right." He turned his attention onto the demons. "I don't know if you idiots noticed, but I'm the new ruler of Hell. So on that note, get your lazy asses back to Hell before I incinerate you!"
"What?!" One of the demons stepped forward. "You can't be serious!"
Takuya rolled his eyes. "I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel like babysitting you guys and the stupid humans! I mean, do you wanna be bothered with them?"
"Umm...well..."
"Yeah, I thought so. Now get the fuck back to Hell, now! You have thirty seconds before heads start rolling. After this damn battle, I am not in the mood to deal with you guys. So move!"
The demons reluctantly made their way back down to Hell through the tunnel they had made, some muttering angrily. All of them were too afraid do argue with Takuya, however. Meanwhile, the bewildered angels stared at him with apprehensiveness.
"Well, what are we supposed to do?" One of them rudely asked.
"I dunno. Go back to Heaven and take a poll on who should be the new god. I don't fucking care, just get outta my sight before I kill you too," Takuya snapped, clearly annoyed.
On that note, everyone took off to the safety of their havens. Seconds later, the area was deserted besides Takuya, Zoe, their friends, and last but not least, Dante.
"Well, well, well. Look what we have here," Takuya said, making his way to the demon. "I don't know if you heard, but I'm the new devil now. How do you like that?"
"Fuck you!" Blood and spittle shot from Dante's mouth.
Takuya looked at Zoe, amused. "So, why didn't you finish him off?"
Zoe's emerald eyes bore into Dante. "I had my reasons. For one thing, I thought that death was too merciful. He's not getting away that easily."
"So...then what are you going to do with him?"
"I don't know, to be honest with you." The blond dropped her gaze to the ground. "I could kill him, but then what? I have no place to go anymore. I'm banned from Heaven, and I can't stay on earth for too long. It'll kill me after only a day or so."
Jasmine looked at her friend, worried. "What's going to happen to you?"
Zoe shrugged. "Don't know."
"Well, that's an easy one," Takuya said. "You can come to Hell now."
"Come again?" Zoe raised an eyebrow. "How would that be possible?"
"For one thing, you kind of betrayed your damn god, so right there would give you a first class ticket to Hell. Second, you're a fallen angel now. A fallen angel can enter Hell, but an ordinary one cannot. This is why I never brought you there," Takuya explained. "It would've killed you pretty quickly."
Zoe chuckled. "You also would've been caught."
"Besides that point," he replied, rolling his eyes. "But by the looks of it, I don't see why you can't come."
"Well, that settles it," Kouji said. "Let's just get the hell back already. I'm friggen tired and in dire need of a nap."
Takuya raised an eyebrow. "You? What about me? I'm the one who did most of the work. You were passed out half the time."
"Hey, I helped a little, so don't take that well deserved credit from me," Kouji snapped.
"Whatever," Takuya said, rolling his eyes. "You guys ready?"
"One sec." Zoe walked over to Jasmine and gave her a weak smile. "Thanks for everything, Jasmine. It means a lot to me that you decided to help me when I needed it, despite the fact that I lied to you."
Jasmine smirked. "You're my best friend. I couldn't just stand there and watch you die. Gonna miss you, though."
"Well, we can still meet up every now and again on earth. You know, go to a bar or something."
"I'll come too," Kouichi happily chimed in, his sapphire eyes on Jasmine.
The dark-haired angel turned slightly red. "When are you gonna quit?"
"Oh, come on. Just because I'm a demon, it doesn't mean we can't go out for a drink," Kouichi said.
"You are very annoying. I do, however, admire your persistence. I'll give you a chance. But if you try anything, I'll hit you over the head with a telephone pole. And don't think that I can't."
Kouichi laughed. "I'll take your word for it."
Kouji rolled his eyes. "You guys finished yet? I'm tired."
"Yeah, me too," J.P. added. "And I'm starving."
"Wow, what a surprise," Takuya said sarcastically. "But Zoe, what do you want to do about Dante?"
Zoe's emerald eyes lit up. "You said I can stay in Hell from now on, right?"
"Yeah, where else are you gonna go?"
"I know exactly what I'm going to do." The blond began to pry the poles out of a semi-conscious Dante. "Come on, asshole. You're coming with me."
Dante only groaned, giving her a hateful look.
"I better get back to Heaven," Jasmine said with a tired sigh. "Things aren't going to be the same without you."
"And this is why you should hang with me," Kouichi told her. "I know what you can do so that you can stay in Hell."
"Don't even start with me. I said I'd go out with you but I'm not going along with any stupid ideas you might have," she snapped.
Kouichi smiled. "Just let me know if you change your mind. "I'll see you Friday?"
"Whatever." Jasmine turned her attention onto Zoe. "See ya around, Zoe. I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you, too." Zoe gave her a tight hug, then pulled away a few moments later.
Takuya heaved Dante over his shoulder. "Let's go."
Jasmine glanced at Kouichi, then gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Pain in the ass."
Kouichi smiled as he watched her fly away, his hand softly touching where she had kissed him.
Takuya took Zoe's hand with his free one and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You are now about to have your very first glimpse of Hell. You ready?"
"Yeah." She rested her head against his shoulder.
The five of them disappeared in a burst of flames, leaving behind a half destroyed city. Bodies covered the ground in bloody heaps and buildings cracked and crumbled from their extensive damange. Within minutes, the corpses of demons and angels vanished, leaving behind no trace of evidence that they were there at all.
A few hours later
Dante awoke, his head spinning and his body nauseated. Where was he? He blinked several times, trying to make out his surroundings. Darkness was all around him, and when he tried to move, he discovered that he couldn't.
"Those assholes tied me up," he hissed, angrily yanking at his restraints. "Hey, let me out! You fuckers! Let me out!"
A door suddenly opened, and a winged figured stepped into the room.
"What's going on?" Dante asked impatiently, squinting to see if he could make out who it was.
"What do you think is going on?" A soft voice asked. "Think hard enough, and you just may find your answer."
Dante's eyes widened. "It's you! You're Takuya's little bitch!"
A dim light shone, revealing the blond's face. "Smart boy. You realize why you are here, correct?"
"No, you stupid bitch. I don't. So untie me already. I don't belong here," he snapped.
"On the contrary, you do belong here. You see, Dante, you are no longer a worker of Hell. You are now a mere prisoner for all eternity. And carrying out your punishments will be none other than me," Zoe said in an eerily calm voice. "Think of it as repitition."
"What the fuck are you getting at?" Dante hissed. "Let me go!"
Zoe laughed softly. "Seven years ago, when you were about to kill me, how did you feel? Did you feel accomplished? Regretful? Tell me, for I would like to know."
Dante snorted. "Oh, I enjoyed every second of it. I loved it when you screamed and begged for your life, and I loved it even more catching it on film. I don't know if Takuya has told you, but I showed him the pictures."
"Yes, I'm aware of that. And for that reason, I am allowing him to have his own session with you when I'm finished with mine."
"You're bluffing!" Dante shouted, breaking out into a cold sweat. "I know that you won't do anything to me. You're too stupid to know the first thing about torturing!"
Zoe incredulously raised an eyebrow and picked up a knife. "Am I?"
"What are you doing?!" The demon desperately yanked at his restraints. "Stay away from me!"
Zoe smiled and pressed the knife against his bare chest. "Just sit back, relax, and try not to scream too hard. Then again, screams are what make the tortures so satisfying, don't they?"
alright, two chapters left. so we're almost done, just hang in there for me, okay? and haha, dante's getting tortured for all eternity, nah nah nah nah nah nah. take that asshole :p well, let me know how you liked the chapter and keep an eye out for the next.
j.p: gee thanks for almost having me killed *rolls eyes*
me: hey, almost doesnt count. i didn't kill you, so dont complain
takuya: yeah, quit complaining fatass
j.p: if you keep calling me fat, then ill hang out with my other friends
takuya: what other friends? you dont have any other friends besides us
j.p: oh yes i do. they sent me a postcard *pulls out a postcard*
takuya: okay, then what does it say?
j.p: *reads* 'Dear the one in the jumpsuit. We're on spring break! We tried to call you but we forgot.....Anyway, we're having waaaaay too much fun and we'll try to remember to bring you back a seashell or some sand. From Ben and Jerry.'
takuya: but its fall you idiot, and its in your handwriting
j.p: *flips postcard over* this side has birds on it....
takuya: O_O; oooookaaaaaaaaay.......