Neross: And you thought I wouldn't update. Well HA! Showed you didn't I! ....Yeah well screw you too I'm too tried to take crap from you...also I might have gone slightly insane. But HEY all the better to write ZADR with right?! XD

Warning: This chapter may contain violence and smexing....it depends on where the hell I'm going with this...oh yeah..and foul language. Did I forget to mention that again?

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Two days. It had been two long, demanding days, since the attack on the capital and Zim and Dib's run in with Dwicky and still neither one had discussed what had happened or what they were going to do about they're er....offspring. Though Gir seemed to be doing an excellent job of taking care of the young smeet. Finally, as the two tallest prepared to sleep after the third night of not speaking Dib finally broke down and killed the silence. Killed it dead.

"Zim...shouldn't we talk about what happened?" Dib asked, staring at the irken as he pulled off his shirt. Zim paused in the action and looked at Dib one eye lifting as the other lowered in a sort of eyebrow raise in irken terms. Then the alien blinked and shrugged the shirt away. "What is there to talk about dib-stink? Zib will be sent for training to be an invader. Perhaps after she has become a killing machine we can send her to Earth to infiltrate and destroy it."

Dib stared at Zim for a moment before sputtering stupidly. "Wha-? No! That's not-! We are NOT sending Zib to destroy the earth! AND YOU'RE AVOIDING THE REAL SUBJECT!" Dib proclaimed pointing at Zim with a glare.

Zim grinned and swept Dib's finger away before taking on a superior and smug look. "I thought your species knew that it was rude to point."

Dib's arm fell limply at his side as he effectively glared at the irken. " Can we just talk about what happened and stop getting off subject?"

Zim placed his hands on his hips and glared at Dib. "About what? That pathetic attempt on Zim's life? Or the pathetic attempt to humiliate Zim by forcing the mate rituals upon him? Because both were completely stoopid."

Dib's jaw dropped visibly. "Dwicky tried to rape you! How can you be okay with that?"

Zim looked annoyed and pointed to his antennae. "Because ZIM is not a pathetic worm-beast who associates the mating rituals with social stigmas. Honestly you humans are so primitive."

Dib blinked and stared at Zim for so long that the alien stared at him, called out to him, waved a hand in front of his face and finally groped him without any reaction. Shrugging and giving up Zim sat on his bed and peeled off his boots when at last Dib seemed to snap out of it.

"So you're not upset about it. At all."

"Well Zim IS going to slaughter the Dwicky beast for thinking he could do such a thing to the almighty ZIM and not expect punishment. Oh what punishment will I inflict!" Zim cackled at this raising a clawed hand in glory before stopping abruptly and turning to taking off his boots. "And besides. Zim attracts all the squishy earth males."

Dib blinked again. This was not happening. No...no it was. Dib decided to ignore it though. So he sighed and ran a hand through his hair and turned away to go back to taking off his own clothes. "Okay ...whatever. I'm going to sleep before you start to actually make sense."

"Oh and like anything that spills out of your pork-hole isn't insane?" Zim bit back, tossing his boot at Dib as the human sat on his bed.

Dib turned with a glare at Zim and hurriedly pulled off his own shoe to chuck at Zim who merely rolled across the bed and laughed at Dib's measly attempt, only to get smacked in the face by Dib's OTHER shoe. This time it was the human who burst out laughing as Zim glared in irritation. And then Zim flung himself across the room to knock Dib to the ground. The two rolled, and finally settled near the wall. They lied there for a moment before Dib burst out laughing again and Zim glared and ordered him to quit.

Dib, in response, reached up and tickled Zim and sent the irken alien into a giggle fit of his own until, out of desperation, Zim pinned Dib to the floor. The two sat staring at each other, both on the verge of laughing again, until suddenly they were kissing. Neither one caring who started it. In their fight for supremacy they wound up facing each other, both lying on their sides, neither one on top. A groping hand there, a searching one there, both creating a sweet friction that held no sense of that violence from before.

And then Dib pulled away, reminded of Zim's words, and forced the alien to stay at arm's length as the raven-haired teen stared him down. "If sex is nothing more than a mating ritual to you....then what about the times we've done it?" Dib asked, suspicious. Zim's antennae twitched in annoyance, and his face settled into a pout.

"I fail to see how that is important enough to interrupt our current mating session." Zim put blandly, reaching for Dib, managing only to wrap his arms around Dib's waist, unable to pull him any closer, despite his best efforts.

"I'm not going any further until you tell me."

Zim sighed, rolled his red eyes and then gritted his teeth in acceptance. "Oh fine Dib stink if you MUST know. The first time was because of necessity. Which should be obvious. " Dib nodded in agreement. "The second was because you were looking too damn superior after Zim risked his neck to save you." Dib glared at this and grabbed the front of Zim's pants since his shirt was currently MIA. "What the hell do you mean-?!" But Dib didn't get to finish as Zim closed the distance and forced the human to give in to a kiss. "You humans link too many emotions to your mating. If Zim feels like mating then Zim with make with the mating. If he doesn't and someone else does then that is not Zim's fault and Zim will simply EVISCERATE the fool who dared to try with the mating. That simple. I do not understand why you HU-mans always associate your mating with LURV. Especially when luv is so painful...what with the meat and the bar-b-que sauce." Zim shuddered at the memories of his 'luv adventures' with Tak. He had not enjoyed that one bit.

Dib blinked and then merely rolled his eyes and reached a hand down the back of Zim's pants pulling him closer. "Love isn't painful Zim. Well...it can be. Just not physically. Love just means you like somebody enough to want to know everything about them and be with them all the time. Or at least that's what I've gathered from those stupid romance shows Gaz has made me watch."

"Oh." Zim stated and then stared at Dib as if he were suddenly ill. "Wait a SECOND! You are always wanting to know more about ZIM! AND you spend every. waking. second with me." Zim paused and then stared at Dib as if he were a giant stink-beetle. "You LOVE me." he stated with mild distaste.

Dib started and spluttered. "What? No? That's Not-?! WOULD YOU STOP MIXING WORDS?!"

"Zim has no blender."

Dib groaned. "Just shut up and mate with me already." the human ground out smashing his lips against Zim's own, once again starting up and that mass of heat and friction that they came to need....to crave.

Dib, his hand already in Zim's pants, easily pulled the clothing free, following it quickly with Zim's boxers, the irken too occupied with exploring the human's chest and back to seem to care. It was only when Dib began to play with Zim's opening that the alien moved his hands, and then it was only to unfasten Dib's own pants. However, the second they and the briefs were far enough down to free Dib's aching erection Zim forcibly switched their positions. Falling ontop of Dib with a victorious smile. Dib stared up at Zim in annoyance and reached up to pull Zim down into a kiss, but the irken resisted and instead took hold of the human's pulsating need.

Zim stroked his second gently, then harder, eliciting appreciative moans from the dark-haired teen beneath him. And then, when it seemed Dib couldn't bear it any long Zim released him, receiving a strangled groan of need from the human who reached for the irken once more. Zim merely smiled and raised his hips up and positioned himself over Dib's member before slowly, tortuously, sliding himself onto Dib, the human filling his entrance with incredible heat.

Soon both were lost in the constant movement, the endless dreamy sort of sex that enveloped them both so completely they were lost to the outside world. It was only when both were lying spent on the floor that they seemed to finally come back to reality. With a slow sort of awkwardness the two went to their own beds for the night and each fell asleep facing the wall, afraid to look at the other for fear that what Zim had said was true.

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Dib awoke sometime in the night to the sound of terrified screams. Normally he would have bolted up right, but something wrapped around his middle kept him from moving. And in his sleep addled brain he couldn't for the life of him comprehend what it was that was restraining him. And then the door to their chambers was blasted open and Dib was faced with the most frightening thing he could ever imagine.

His little sister, with a very large lazer cannon, staring him down as he lied naked in bed. And then...to make matters worse the thing that wrapped itself around his middle pulled itself up to stare over his shoulder at Gaz.

Okay...so not only had his baby sister come to an alien planet and busted down the doors to it's leader's chambers and discovered him lying in their bed...naked....but she had come to an alien planet, busted down the doors to it's leader's chambers, and discovered him lying in their bed naked...with Zim spooning him. Oh if only she would shoot him and put him out of his misery.

Instead Gaz looked to the terrified Dib, then to the rather unsure and still frightened Zim before finally glaring at Dib and pointing a finger at him furiously. "I'm gonna come back in ten minutes. If you're not dressed and giving me an explanation by then I'm going to WASTE you got it?" she snapped.

Both alien and human nodded. "Good" the human girl snapped before slamming what was left of the chamber doors closed.

Such a frantic scrambling of clothing had never before been seen in the universe since that one episode of Futurama. Yeah you know the one. What? You want me to actually NAME the episode? Pssh...forget THAT!

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Neross: BAH it is nearly six and I've had no sleep. That's the best you get for now....REVIEW!....blkkjkjlk *drops dead*