A/N: GUH. Sorry guys, I was supposed to post this last night but I never got online. Well, here is chapter eleven. Twelve is being typed up as you read! :)
Translation: bien-aimé - sweetheart, darling. [If wrong then blame microsoft word. :P]
It had been one week since Arthur left.
We were brought back to the beginning—back to the way things were before Arthur had stepped into our lives. But ever since big brother had started his new job we rarely saw much of each other.
I was scared for him. I mean, he did nothing but work. If he wasn't at work, he was either on the phone talking to his boss or customers, or clacking away on that laptop of his. I was very lonely. Especially now that Arthur was gone. I never had many friends to begin with—I mean, I'm practically invisible at school—but with Arthur, I thought it was all going to change. I had one friend to finally call my own.
And now he was gone.
I feel terrible. But I can only imagine how my big brother feels.
My big brother tends to stay out of the kitchen at every chance he gets. So he hardly ever eats anymore. He always kept himself busy and never slept in his own bed and he also refused to sit on the couch. Big brother would just sleep on the floor. Sometimes he would even sleep in my bed. I never thought it would hurt him this badly.
He looked like a shell of who he used to be. It terrified me.
"Have a good day at school, Mattie."
Big brother was sitting on the floor again. I told him so many times to sit on the couch be he would just shake his head and smile, saying he was fine where he was. That had to have been his tenth coffee cup since he had woken up.
"'Kay," I mumbled as I headed for the door. I didn't want to see him this way.
We never spoke as much as we used to. Whenever I tried to start a conversation he would stare at me blankly, give me one worded answers, or simply say he needed to go to sleep. It aggravated me, and scared me at the same time. My big brother was supposed to be the overly happy one, he was supposed to laugh loudly, so smile so big that it made my cheeks hurt from looking at it. He wasn't supposed to be empty.
It killed me inside.
But I understood why. I wasn't stupid; after all, Arthur had been gone for one whole week. My big brother was in love with Arthur. And even though I was still upset that he had seen Arthur off without me, I let it go. Big brother had more of a right than I did. Even if I was the one who found Arthur in the first place.
I could never stay too mad about it. But just because I wasn't mad didn't mean that I didn't think about it at all. School was just awful.
Concentrating on my work was impossible. I found myself worrying how Alfred was. If I left him alone for too long he would probably drink so much coffee he would have a heart attack.
But he wasn't suicidal or anything. Big brother just never seemed to notice how many cups of coffee he kept drinking anymore. He never stopped. Whenever I finally worked up the courage to tell him to stop he would only go to the fridge and grab some sort of energy drink, sometimes maybe even a beer.
I found my self constantly thinking about our situation. This caused my mind to wonder off school work—which led to failing.
Not only did I have to worry about my older brother's will to live; now school was becoming a problem. I did my best! Believe me, I did! But it was just so hard, especially with my class being as troublesome as ever. If school supplies weren't being thrown around, people were fighting constantly—either hand to hand or just verbally. It was just silly. We're only twelve, what class fights as much as we do?
Then again, with the sort of people that made up our class—an eccentric Italian, the loudmouth, crybaby Italian's older twin brother, the often silent Japanese boy who agreed with whatever anyone had to say, the Korean who was still shouting about how he invented everything, a girl from Seychelles who some how managed to pull a large fish out of nowhere all the time, a boy who said he was from Prussia and repeatedly exclaimed that he was very awesome, an Austrian boy who was constantly bothered by a Hungarian girl who kept trying to make the boys wear dresses, a Swede boy and a Finnish boy who never left each other's sights, a Spaniard who was always eating tomatoes and flirting with the older Italian brother, the Lithuanian boy who's Polish friend insisted on wearing girl's clothes to school, the Russian boy that sat in the back row with an aura that made everyone scoot their desks forward, creating a huge gap, and the girl from Belarus who wanted to marry the Russian—it was easy to see how fights could start.
I did my best just to stay out of the line of fire, often staring out the window and thinking of home. Supposedly, the teacher said I was one of the best students, but that was just because I was quiet and I never got into any fights. So he was quite surprised when my grades started to drop.
He even kept me after school to talk about it.
I was scared to talk with him alone. My teacher is a very big man, mind you. He often claims that he is the Italians' grandfather. Which wasn't that weird, they did look a little similar, I guessed.
"Matthew, this is the fifth D you've gotten this week." I had never realized how his big stature contradicted his calm tone.
"…I'm sorry," I apologized. I think by this time I was already shaking. I always got scared whenever I talked to him, I just kept saying sorry.
Wanting to just go home to check on my big brother I waited for my teacher to finish scolding me. But by the time I tuned in to what he was saying, he was on a tangent about something completely different.
"E-Excuse me, I have to take the bus home, I don't want to miss it."
After realizing that he had gone completely off topic, my teacher glanced down at me and frowned. He had heard the anxiety in my voice, I suppose, because he asked, "Is there something going on at home? Parent's mistreating you? Abusing you?"
I shook my head. I thought he would have already known that I just lived with Alfred by now. It was almost already half way through the semester.
"I live with my big brother. A-Anyways, I need to get going. The bus is coming," I pointed to the bus stop and began to walk in its direction.
"Remember to study!"
---
When I got home I was too late. My big brother was collapsed on the floor, two empty coffee cups and a beer beside him. I figured if I were to get there a little earlier I could've convinced him to at least drink a cup of water.
Sure, any normal kid who came home to see their family member passed out on the floor should be shocked. But not me, at least, not anymore. Alfred had started doing this a few days after Arthur had left. I was used to it unfortunately.
I walked upstairs to grab him a blanket. It was the least I could do for now. After I covered him I went to the kitchen to heat up the pizza we had last night. I didn't know how to make much of anything so I supposed that was the best choice for now. I warmed up a slice for Alfred. I knew he would just peck at it, but it was better than nothing.
"Alfred, wake up." I nudged him.
Nothing.
"Alfred, wake up, I got you a slice of pizza." I nudged him again. He groaned. At least he was still alive.
Leaving the plate beside him I dug in my pocket for a small sheet of paper. I was told whenever I needed help with something, anything, to call the number on this paper. And I definitely needed help with this mess. I can't take care of a grown man by myself. A twelve year old can only do so much.
I waited for the phone to ring and when he finally answered I didn't give him a chance to speak.
"Uncle Francis, can you please come check on Alfred? He doesn't look so good."
I couldn't even hear anything the man said. My head was throbbing, I couldn't concentrate. All I remember was that he had said something that sounded like, "I'll be right over."
At least, that's what I hope it sounded like.
----
Big brother finally woke up. He said that he was having chest pains and he just blacked out. Uncle Francis scolded him and told me to hide all of the coffee in the house. Alfred didn't like that idea very much. I didn't want to know what was going on. I just sat in a silence, pretending not to understand what was happening. I held my brother's hand as he laid on the couch. Uncle Francis had told him he needed to rest because working all day and only getting one hour of sleep wasn't healthy.
I agreed.
"I'm sorry, Mattie." I heard my big brother say, his voice was raspy and it sounded painful just to hear. "We'll go to a movie or something fun tomorrow, okay? I promise."
I could only give him a small, half-hearted smile. I knew it wasn't going to happen, but I told him I was looking forward to it anyway. He always tried too hard to make me happy. It was my turn to help him this time.
I'd be the hero.
"Do you want pizza, or something? I had heated you up a slice."
I could hear Uncle Francis in the background talking on the phone.
"Y-Yeah. That sounds great." My big brother gave his best smile, before closing his eyes again.
Depression was a terrible thing to witness. Especially when it was happening to someone you loved. I couldn't bear to watch my brother spiral into insanity. Once I walked into the kitchen and I saw Uncle Francis hang up the phone.
"Is he going to be okay?" I tried to hide my apprehension as I grabbed the taller man's hand, tugging at it to get his attention.
Uncle Francis smiled down at me. "Oh, he just needs some anti-depressants. If things get worse, he probably might need some counseling. But he should be just fine," he assured me as he knelt down to be at my eye level.
He ruffled my hair. "Can you tell me, bien-aimé, when did Alfred start acting this way?"
"After Arthur left."
I watched a puzzled look flash in his eyes before he smiled again. "Well then, why did the chaton leave?"
With a shrug of my shoulders, I pretended not to know the reason. That was something I figured my big brother didn't want Uncle Francis to know.
Before getting up from the ground I could feel the older blond's hand squeeze mine before planting a kiss on my head, letting go and walking towards the living room to check on Alfred.
"Don't worry your pretty little head about your brother, yes? We'll take good care of him. Before you know it, he'll be back to his usual self."
One could only hope.