The Very Thought of You

Chapter 30

The afternoon passed slowly. Joey stayed in the house and tidied around. Janet had bustled in and bustled out again. She was attending a WRVS (Women's Royal Voluntary Service) meeting. Ruby was at Annie's house. Vince was out playing with friends.

Joey checked the clock for the one hundredth time, but tea time had come and gone. She had grave doubts of Charlie's promised return. Instead she took herself off for a walk.

Charlie spent most of her day doing office work. The day had been long and her thoughts weren't on the job. They were far away in another part of the town, with the person she couldn't get off her mind, but must.

After having promised Joey that she would pop home at tea time, she had deliberately found an excuse not to go. She knew that Joey would be waiting for her, but fearing her own actions kept her away. But still, her mind returned back, to a few hours earlier, when she, had kissed the sweetest, softest lips she had ever known. She could still feel those lips and it tore her apart.

Joey walked along the sea wall to the other side of town. She found her way to the little Church yard where her parents lay at rest. She sat by the side of their grave, still relatively new. She felt sick inside. Her heart ached; her body was sore and her mind restless. Tears began to fill her eyes.

"Oh Mum!" She cried out loud. "Oh Mum! I'm so unhappy. I wish I was with you. I need you so much. Why is my life so messed up?"

Charlie left the Station at Nine O'clock and walked home, her head still as confused as when she left many hours previously. What could she say to Joey?

Suddenly, as if by lightening, she was struck by a thought.

Joey, having cried to her Mother, began to walk back home to see if Charlie had returned from work having made up her mind to confront her. Before she had walked far from the Churchyard, the Air-raid warning sounded. Joey watched as the search lights from the Mobile Gun Units were switched on and their powerful beams reached for the dark sky. The "Boom! Boom!" of guns from the direction of Margate could be heard.

Joey stood transfixed watching the search beams as they moved slowly across the sky looking for enemy bombers. A low drone could be heard and an explosion somewhere in a neighbouring town or village. The Mobile Gun Units in town started to fire. Joey covered her ears from the intensive booming of the guns. She looked into the sky again and saw three bombers passing high over head. Suddenly, the middle plane of the three aircraft changed direction and began a wailing descent; as it came closer, flames could be seen billowing from one of its engines. The plane started to spiral out of control. Joey looked on in horror as the plane plummeted into the darkness of the sea. She closed her eyes and shook. Enemy or no enemy, she knew that someone else would soon be feeling the pain of loss which she felt.

The kitchen light was off when Joey walked in from the dark. She had spent a long time looking at the sea after the plane had come down. Her mind had been shaken from its reverie by the 'All-Clear' sounding a while later.

She heard Ruby's records playing in her bedroom. Her resolve to confront Charlie had disappeared with the air raid and she decided to go straight to her bed. Before she could move she heard footsteps coming along the hall way towards the kitchen. It was Charlie.

"Joey! I wondered where you'd got to." Charlie said with a troubled look. "Did you get to a shelter?"

Joey shook her head. "It wasn't necessary." She said quietly.

Charlie watched Joey walk over to the kettle and put it on the stove and light the gas.

"I was worried about you! I thought we were going to talk? Where did you get to?" Charlie asked.

"I went for a walk. I went to the cemetery to see Mum and Dad." Joey said. "I lost track of time."

Charlie looked with compassion towards the 'little girl lost' standing by the stove and for all the world, only wanted to put her arms around her and make it better.

"Charlie," Joey suddenly said, taking Charlie by surprise.

"What are you feeling?"

Charlie remained silent for a moment or two trying to process her own thoughts.

"I don't know. I'm confused." She at last said.

"Charlie, I'll tell you what feel. I've fallen in love with you – I knew the day of the boat picnic and all that happened this morning, Charlie, only convinces me that you have feelings for me too." Joey said coming closer to Charlie.

Charlie sat down at the table and put her head in her hands and exhaled.

"Joey, I don't know where that came from this morning. I knew you had feelings for me and maybe I just got caught in the tide. It's nice to feel loved. I've had so many bad love affairs that having someone show affection, well, it's hard to ignore. I don't want to..." Charlie glanced at Joey watching her intently. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Charlie, just say it. You either love me or you don't!"

"It's not that simple. So I've decided to take the rest of the week off and go and visit my dad. Ruby hasn't seen Dad for a while. Maybe I can sort my brain out."

Joey looked down at the floor. Her heart breaking inside.

"I'll miss you." Joey whispered.

She bent slightly to kiss Charlie's cheek, but the other girl pulled away.

Joey took a deep breath trying not to cry.

"Good night, Charlie." And with that she walked off to her own room.

Charlie's hand covered her mouth trying to suppress her sobs.