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Okay so I have finally updated, it's been a long time I know, but I have been so unmotivated lol so I just have to keep going on, I might update twice because I am so bored at home, I am grounded again due to taking my dads credit card :S AND IT'S HOLIDAYS, awwwww . I should stop doing stupid things HAHA

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Sometimes I wish I could just take my heart and turn it off so I wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore.

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"Stupid YOUKAI, running off into the forest with serious injuries" she mumbled angrily, folding her arms across her chest, glaring at a bug she was thinking about killing, it was no use trying to go after the inu, she wouldn't be able to find him, he was a freaking lord for kami sake, if he didn't want to be found, then he wasn't going to be found, she just wished that he wasn't so stubborn, idiotic, pig-headed, cold, uncaring, undeniably gorgeous, proud, arrogant, unsocial and just so INFURIATING, "I wish I could just punch him in that face!" she yelled "But noooooo, he would either block it or catch my fist or take the blow and treat it as if it didn't hurt....Oooooo but I know it would, I would make it hurt, I will throw my sword at his face, that would hurt, maybe chop his nose off, then we will see how confident he is" she growled lowly

"Uhhh Sango?"

Turning she faced her miko friend, standing there - still covered in blood - with a confused look on her face, Sango covered her mouth with her hands, had she said that out loud? she laughed sheepishly, hoping to kill some of the awkwardness "I was just... venting"

Kagome frowned at her, Sango had been weirder then ever, she was jumpy, tense, angry but also really quiet, she hadn't had a convocation with the taijiya for ages, she had barely said 15 words to her since the arrival back at camp, it was odd, they always talked, even after a battle they would always start talking about something, but usually after a battle they would head off to a hot spring, clean up and talk, then fend off the perverted monk Miroku- A NICE BATH, that should loosen her up a little, "Hey Sango, do you want to go to the hot spring with me? I need to clean up, and maybe we could talk" she asked kindly

Sango smiled up at her "Yeah, that would be nice"

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Her face, it just kept on running through his head, her words screaming through his ears, it was almost unbearable, the only thing her face brought was pain, it only brought the memory of those blasted humans, stealing everything from her, cutting her up, selling her off, Sesshomaru snarled, slashing another tree down with his claws, his thoughts only fueling his anger

With a breath he tried to calm himself down, he had never had problems controlling himself before, but it was that blasted whelp, it was screwing around with his control, with everything he used to pride himself on, his fluent calm movement becoming sloppy and rushed, his clean kata's and fighting techniques now brash and miscalculated, he was being no better then his half-breed brother, he had let Naraku get the best of him for kami sake, and what was even more infuriating was that it was his brother that saved his life from that vile thing because he let his anger get the best of him, and that darn whelp, the stupid pup was a weakness, and Naraku used that to his full advantage

Sesshomaru sat on the ground back against a tree, he was still wounded and partially weak, he didn't want to open up the wounds...again, he had already done it, the bandages had torn away from running as fast as he had, and from a taijiya, the taiyoukai berated himself for taking such a weak course of action, he should have just ripped his hand from hers and ignored her presence completely, "But that damn taijiya wouldn't have shut up" he grumbled to himself, closing his eyes and resting his head on the wood behind him

The warmth from her hand had never left his skin, it still felt as though she was still beside him, her hand intertwined with his own, he could still remember the initial feeling he had gotten when he had seen her, something mixed with shock, anger and relief, but why relief, it hurt his head to think about it, but it was no more confusing then what he had felt when he had noticed their hands together, guilt had jolted through him like electricity to water, the thought of his mother doing the exact same thing almost made him ill, nobody had dared touch him in such a caring way after his mother, and the contact had made him want to get up and run away as fast as he could, and he had done just that, probably not for the same reasons as she thought, the feeling of guilt might not seem as confusing to anybody else, but he didn't feel guilty, had hadn't felt anything, nothing after his mother had died, and now feelings were resurfacing?

No, he couldn't allow it, feelings had made him weak before, and they were doing just that now, he had almost gotten himself killed today, only to be rescued by his brother, and now these very same feelings were driving him insane, anger and hatred he could deal with, and yes maybe a little bit of his murderous impulses and bloodlust he could deal with as well, but confusion, guilt...caring, wanted to make him rip his hair out, growling he slumped down the tree, yes, he was slumping, that's how emotionally confused, angry and uncaring about his taiyoukai role he was, he was tired as hell as well, not to mention bleeding in various places

The taiyoukai growled and undid his kimono, discarding it to the side, his boa already back at the campsite (( Oh and i just figured out -- the mokomoko is actually a part of his body, is the fact that when he transforms back into his natural state (that of a 40 foot tall white dog) he still has the mokomoko, which can be seen to be some sort of a lion's mane -- It's TRUE, I wish I had that in my story, OH WELL, sorry guys :P )) The pain stung a little, but not a lot, it wasn't as serious as it was back at the youkai village, it was just the wound on his abdomen, it was just a gaping hole, if he hadn't of been bleeding he was sure he would have been able to see through it to the other side, he frowned examining the wound, it was becoming infected, he couldn't figure it out, could the inu pup be taking his power? it would explain why he wasn't healing as fast and why the only blood he could smell at the campsite was coming from himself

Breathing in deeply, he relaxed, he needed to clean the wound, if he was going to heal as slow as a human, then the wound would bleed and become infected like a human's as well, he had to suppress a sigh, stupid slow healing, with a grunt he lifted himself up, grabbed his kimono and started through the forest, he needed to find a spring, it wasn't that hard to find one in this forest, it was nearest to his province and there were a few springs close by

His home, he didn't want to return there, he had never liked staying in one place, it was always so...cramped, even though the place was absolutely huge, it felt claustrophobic to him, like every other home he had ever resided in, it was just too much staying in the one place, he knew for a fact, that he had gotten his free spirit from his mother, she had always been away, and whenever she could, she would always bring him with her, and with each trip, his love for freedom grew, but his father had never understood that feeling, he had been happy staying in the one place, ruling over the western land, only going as far as his land permitted, unless of course he was invited by one of the other lords or war had raided over the land, but Sesshomaru, no he could never live that life, he had accepted his fate of becoming the lord of the western lands, and held the title with pride, but he could never bring himself to stay in that place for longer then a week, even when he was smaller, he would always find himself traveling at night, only to return in the morning before either of his parents found out, but after his mother had died, he rarely returned to that place, only coming back when he felt the need

It didn't feel like a home anymore

Sesshomaru almost smiled in relief when he had found the hot springs - and that he had snapped out of his distracting thoughts-, every other skill might have been screwed up, but at least his sense of direction was in tune, he was lucky at that, they were hot springs surrounded by rocks, there were about 4 or 5 close together, each one conveniently blocked from sight of each other, the steam from the springs rose into the air making him slightly more tired and drowsy, or he had just lost more blood, but meh, either way he was tired, drowsy and in need for a bath, so why stand here thinking about it

Without anymore hesitation, he rid of his hakama and submerged himself in the hot spring, the water already soothing over his muscles, he closed his eyes, relaxing in the heat and weightlessness of the water

"Your kidding, he really has a chocolate stash?"

Sesshomaru's eyes snapped open underwater, he hadn't imagined that had he, or was he really going insane, "Yeah, Sesshy found it first, I had to fight for the last box of chocolate" a few giggles past through his ears, nope he wasn't imagining this, they were here, those two where close by, he knew exactly who they were, only one woman knew of his chocolate stash, and that woman would only tell one other woman, it was the miko and taijiya, Sesshomaru closed his eyes and frowned, he would have groaned had he not been underwater

Thankfully there were more than one spring, and the two had chosen the one farthest from him, maybe he would be able to have a nice long bath without any distractions, they certainly wouldn't be able to hear him, and since his youki was weak, they wouldn't be able to sense him, finally something out of this aggravating day was working for him, after running out of air, he came to the surface for oxygen, he wiped his bangs out of his face, the rest of his long hair separating into tendrils underneath the water like vines, reaching over he grabbed his kimono and narrowed his eyes

It was ruined, that was all that could be said about it, it was drenched in his blood, ripped everywhere, it was beyond repair, without a second thought he tore the fabric into long strips, like the bandages that the miko carried with her, he would use them to cover the wound until it healed on it's own accord

"Hey, What was that"

Sesshomaru cringed, humans may not be able to hear a pin drop from a mile away, but they certainly weren't deaf


I knooooooo not as long as i promised, but i just wanted to update to give you guys atleast 1 updtae before i go back to school, :P ENJOY