The house was empty when Edward walked through the door with Roy close behind him, it was still early but not early enough for either Noah or Alphonse to still be in bed. He looked into the kitchen, the mess of glass was still on the floor; something was wrong, both Noah and Al were such neat freaks, it should have been cleaned up soon after he'd left; dropping his suitcase, he headed to the stairs.

"Al?", he called as he hurried up to the second level, "Noah?", Roy was quickly on his heels as he ran, his pace getting even more urgent when he received no reply. Up the stairs and down the hall, Edward grabbed onto the doorframe to catch himself as he reached the room that he and Al shared and pushed open the door.

Noah was there, she jumped nearly a mile into the air when he roughly pushed the door open, but greeted him with an ever so slight smile and went back to folding and packing clothing into a suitcase. Edward smiled upon seeing her, a sense of normality coming over him. Perhaps he had overreacted a little?

"Oh, Noah…", he ruffled his hair slightly, "have you seen Al? I can't find him…", the small smile vanished and the gypsy turned to look at the blonde with a grave look, her eyes misting up.

"He's not here, Edward", she said softly, turning and pushing yet another shirt into the suitcase before reaching for Alphonse's brush and pushing that into the case as well. Edward stopped as he watched her, she was packing Al's stuff.

"Where is he?", he asked suspiciously, Noah didn't answer and again he tried, "Noah, where is he?" Again she said nothing, just continued to pack some small hygiene products of the younger boys into the case. When she reached for a pillow to put into the case, the blonde stepped forward and grabbed her by the arm roughly.

"Noah! Where is my brother?!", a slight look of fear and sadness came over the woman's face and she looked at Ed briefly before looking away and biting her lip; wrenching her arm out of his grip.

"He's at the Luxemburg Hospital", she said softly, "he started coughing up blood last night", closing the case, she stepped around both men and headed out. Ed listened to her footsteps all the way down the stairs and out the door before he started after her; staggering to the doorway of the bedroom and stopping.

Coughing up blood…?

His head dropped with a sudden tiredness and a stain on the wood caught his eye, it was a reddish brown, puddle-shaped blot on the used wood of the floor.

**

Al stared blankly at the hospital room ceiling, he wanted to take a bath, a nice cold bath to wash away all of his sins. Edward was probably at home by now, probably wondering where he was.

Is this punishment?

He didn't know, but he did know that he didn't want to see him; didn't want Edward to see him like this.

Reaching his hand up he watched as his fingers seemed to touch the ceiling that was so far away; they were thin fingers, he had always thought that they were so much weaker than Edward's; the older male had gotten their father's hands, and he had gotten their mother's.

He jumped as the door opened and Noah filed in, his suitcase in her dark fleshed hands; he smiled at her shy demeanor and nodded in welcome.

"I brought you some clothing", she said gently as she placed the case in the chair beside his bed, "I also packed you a mirror and a hairbrush"

"Thank you", he said gently.

"Edward's home", she said suddenly, jumping slightly before looking away; a fear came over the blonde, "he arrived this morning while I was packing", she wasn't looking at him and he knew why.

"You told him where I was…", an apologetic look came to her eyes and she pleaded with him.

"I'm sorry! He asked me where you were and I didn't know what to tell him", Al smiled lightly, waving it off. He hadn't expected anything less from her, it wasn't that he didn't want the elder male to know where he was, he just didn't want to be visited by him.

"It's fine", he said gently, stifling a cough, "I wouldn't expect any different", she smiled and nodded, obviously not satisfied with the statement, but not wanting to upset the sickling any. His hands came up in a gesture of innocence, "really Noah, it's fine, I don't mind any that he knows where I am"

"Where is he?!", Alphonse jumped nearly as far as Noah did when a sudden commotion erupted from somewhere outside his hospital room before Edward came slamming through the door, a nurse behind him saying something about him not being allowed in. He was beautiful, and Al's heart ached like he hadn't seen the older male in days; he wanted so desperately to reach out for him, but at the same time he wanted him so far away from him that he wouldn't be able to see him this way. The way the older blonde's eyes widened drew shame up inside him and his gaze drifted out the window.

Don't look at me…

But he was looking at him, he was watching him with those eyes that Alphonse dreamed of, speculating him like one might a math problem and it made him uncomfortable. He gripped the blanket that had been placed over his legs,keeping his eyes set out the window, not daring to look at the person that he loved so much.

**

Edward's heart sank as he saw Alphonse laying in the hospital bed, a blanket thrown over him like an old crone who was dying of old age. Barely staying standing up, he watched his brother, footstep after footstep taken closer to the boy; he stopped when Al looked away, his eyes scanning something in the horizon that Edward couldn't fathom.

I really didn't think there was hope did I?

"Al?", the boy didn't look at him, giving him no answer, "Al-", the younger male cut him off.

"Noah, show him out", he said softly and something inside Edward struck a sour he watched as Noah stood from the chair that she had been sitting in and offered him the way out; in a kind of daze he took the invitation, his eyes not leaving his little brother until he left the room.

**

Al refused to look at the older man, he loved him too much to show him how much his heart was breaking.

Another sin to add to my list...selfishness...

"He came here just to see you, you know", the blonde jumped at the sound of a voice and turned his head to see Roy Mustang closing and locking the door to the hall, "don't you think it's rude that you treat him this way just because you're dying?"

"You wouldn't understand", Alphonse murmured, looking away from the Colonel like he had from his brother; this was the person that is brother loved, the person that held the place that he wanted ever so badly in his brother's heart.

Another sin...Jealousy...

Footsteps could be heard as Roy crossed the room to close the blinds that showed onlookers what was going on in the room, Al didn't notice this.

"I am sure I would", the older man said lightly.

"And I am sure you-", before he coud finish his retort, the younger male found himself pinned to the hospital bed, the dark haired man's weight pressing down uncomfortably on his wrists. Roy's face was so close to his that he could feel the warm kiss of breath that escaped the Colonel every now and again.

"Don't you think it's a little presumptuous of you? To think that you're giving up so much when he's still here with you?", Al opened his mouth to speak, but the dark haired man didn't give him time before he continued, "he's given pieces of himself for you that I know he wouldn't give for anyone else. And here you are, thinking that you have it so badly?" A firm male body pressed down on Alphonse, he could tell why Edward liked it so much.

"I am dying of tuberculosis", he managed, keeping his voice as even as possible.

"Yes, I know", the Colonel said flatly.

But how-

"I can read a medical chart, Alphonse, it's written very plainly", Al glared.

"Get off of me, you don't-"

"Whether you are condemned or not, you shouldn't treat someone you claim to love the way you just treated Edward", Al jarred and Roy loomed over him even more, "I see how you watch him, I knew even back then, I know that you are doing this because you are afraid of hurting him but you're hurting him even more by pushing him away. He will condemn himself with you when you die if you keep him at arms length."

"How do you know that's not what I am counting on?"

"Because you're not cruel Alphonse; if you must, take your aggressions out on me, not him." Roy bent his head and breathed into the younger male's ear, kissing it gently before whispering, "take out your anger, your fear, even your lust out on me, but don't push Edward away..."

Take out my lust on you...?

Al stared at the Colonel for a long moment, knowing that the look on his face showed what he was feeling. He swallowed, there was no saliva.

"Fine", he said flatly.

This…could be a mistake…

"Fine", the Colonel mimicked gently; and their deal was made.

"Where were you? I thought you were going to wait out here?", Edward asked as Roy paced calmly into the waiting room where the younger male had left him.

"I had to use the rest room", he said lightly, fixing the cuffs of his shirt, "where's your friend?"

"Noah went back to Gracia's, aren't we going home?", Roy cocked his head to the side.

"You're not going to stay with him?", Edward looked at the floor, the hurt was evident in the way he was holding himself.

"Al-...", he looked back up at the Colonel, tears brimming his eyes, "Al doesn't want to see me", the older male could feel the sorrow, the choking in his voice, that little change that spoke of the lump that Edward was no doubt trying to talk around. A tear started down the blonde's cheek and Roy gently brought his hand up to cup his cheek, wiping away that tear with his thumb.

"I am sure he will change his mind, why don't you go back in?", Edward looked down again and shook his head and the dark haired male pulled his chin back up, forcing him to look at him, "go back", he said firmly, trying not to be mean. It took a moment, a long stare of gold meeting black, but in the end the younger male nodded and pulled away, heading down the hall in a broken way towards his younger brother's room once more. If Roy hadn't known that Alphonse would accept him, he would have thought it almost cruel to make his lover go back to the place that he had been removed from.

**

Fear wracked through Edward like a wild fire wracked through a forest, his heart was pounding and he truly didn't want to go back to that room. What if Al refused him? What if he sent him away again? He didn't know what he would do then, he might just die of sadness; the only reason he was going back at all to face this was because Roy would know if he didn't go. He didn't know how, but he would know.

He stopped outside the door, staring at it like the grim reaper was the one behind it.

Alphonse...

Slowly, he pushed the door open and entered, feeling his little brother's eyes on him from the very moment that the door left it's casing. The room was silent, the only sound that was heard was the ka-shunk of the door closing as Edward leaned against it, and turned his eyes up to look at his little brother.

A long moment passed, a moment that seemed like it lasted a century, before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Al, I-"

"I'm sorry", Edward stopped as he was cut off.

"What?", Al watched him for a moment then sighed.

"I said I am sorry, there was no reason to treat you like that just now, you can visit me every day if you want to", Edward was surprised, and he couldn't help the smile that cracked over his lips.

"Really?", the younger male smiled gently and nodded.

**

Al could feel the fakeness in his smile as he gave it to his brother.

I will let you..no matter the pain...