Konbanwa, minna-san! Good news! I actually know where I'm going with this story! I have everything planned out! (This rarely happens when I begin a story). Anyway, I promise you, the ending will be nothing like you expect!!! Mwahahaha! That's all I'm saying for now. (I think I'm hyper, how about you? This is strange; I haven't been anywhere near sugar. It's withdrawal symptoms! Anyway, enjoy the chapter. I had lots of fun writing it. Apologies if it seems too jumpy).
Tomoyo; Rin said her first word in chapter 3 just after Sesshou saved her life. The first word she said has hasn't been Sesshoumaru's name was during their journey home from his mother's palace. Since then she's been slowly getting better.
Princess-myu; love triangle? Hmm… maybe. We'll see… (evil laugh… mwahaha).
#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
Rin raised herself up sleepily, the covers falling off her unclothed form as she did so, before realizing that Sesshoumaru had remained beside her the whole night. He was still sleeping, the boyish look that she loved on his face. She cautiously ran her hand over his muscular chest, careful not to wake him as she savored the feel of him. With extra care, she pulled her face up to his and pressed her lips so very gently against the magenta stripes on his cheeks. He instinctively reached for her and pulled her closer, his hand caressing her soft hair as he nuzzled into her neck and breathed in deeply. She gave a silent giggle, both because of his actions and because she was ticklish. Snuggling against him, she shut her eyes again in contentment. She could never remember being so happy.
"Rin-chan!" Rika's voice called from outside her chamber.
Rin's eyes snapped open and she sat bolt upright. Her jerking movements woke Sesshoumaru, and he groggily looked up at her, seeming disorientated. The shoji was barely opened an inch when he realized what was happening, and before it moved the same distance again he had grabbed his clothing and vanished into his room without being either seen or heard by the servant.
"Oh, you're already awake," Rika said when she had entered. "The lord says you must dine in the kitchens with the servants today along with Inuyasha-sama and Izayoi-sama, as Misei-sama's father has come to join her. He is very powerful, and angering him in any way cannot be risked."
The human nodded in understanding – and a little disappointment at being forced to part with Sesshoumaru three times that day, once again because of Misei.
Rika went to the wardrobe and pulled out a kimono, bringing it over to her. "Sesshoumaru-sama has been using you a lot lately," she commented in a low voice.
Rin nodded again, this time slower and with slight confusion.
"Are you alright?"
Nod.
"Youkatta, but please know that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll make time amidst my duties," she said before leaving to allow the slave to dress.
Rika didn't understand. Rin was happy that Sesshoumaru came to her so often. And having to wait on him all day… she was so glad that she could be of some use to him even though she was only a human. Even doing tiny things like refilling ink pots. And when she wasn't doing these little jobs, she could sit near him and stare at him, memorizing every tiny detail of him that she knew already. His image was etched on her heart.
"Rin," Sesshoumaru opened the shoji between their rooms. "You are not required to wait on me for today only."
Despair flooded her instantly. She wouldn't see him for a whole day! How would she survive this shocking deprivation? What was she going to do to distract herself from thinking of him and make the time pass quicker?
Forcing a bright smile, she bowed to him. He hesitated before retreating back into his room – something she would never have imagined him doing – and took a step toward her, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek. The brief contact sent joy coursing through her, even as she watched him vanish into his own chamber. She didn't know what made him commit the act, but she didn't care. She was so happy that he had, regardless of his reasons. It showed he cared about her, and that was what she wanted more than anything. She wanted him to love her, and if that was impossible then just a small amount of care would be enough for her to be perfectly content.
…Almost.
#~#~#
What… was that???
Sesshoumaru went down to the breakfast meal with his thoughts in a turmoil. He had thought it best to not have Rin hanging around him if Misei's father – a daiyoukai strong enough to take on his father, never mind him – was going to find it offensive (which he, no doubt, would), so she would just have to stay away for the time being. But… he had sensed disappointment in her. Why on earth would she be disappointed that she didn't have to serve? Should she not be glad that she had an opportunity to relax all day? And yet she smiled at him again… she was going to obey him cheerfully, even though she didn't like what she had to do.
The mere sight of her in that moment had made his chest swell with some unknown sensation. More than anything he wanted to kiss her and hold her tightly against him. What was it that made him feel that way? And why did he find it so difficult to contain himself around her? True, he had settled for a mere stroke to her face, but that did not dim his desires nor his struggle to give in to them. And… the quick brush against her had flared a mixture of emotions through her eyes. It made her forced smile turn real quicker than he could have imagined possible – and it made him want to return her gesture. For once in his life, he felt the need to smile a happy smile – not a deathly one – at someone he lo-
Whoa, stop right there.
He mentally repeated his previous thought as he stood frozen in the middle of the hallway. Was he… had he been about to say someone he loved?
Oh, no; he didn't love her, did he?
Sesshoumaru refused to think about it. Like anything he was completely baffled about or didn't understand, he pushed it to the back of his mind as he continued to the dining hall. He passed Inuyasha on his way to the kitchens, and briefly pondered the strange look the younger had given him. On entering the dining hall he saw Misei's father, who had arrived some time before dawn, give him a similar glance before his own father swiftly approached him and, grabbing his arm tightly, forced him out of the room.
"Chichi-ue, what is it?" he asked, mildly irritated and somewhat even more perplexed.
"What's wrong with you?" Touga asked in a demanding way.
"Nothing."
His father made an irritated noise. "Don't give me that, Sesshoumaru; you absolutely reek of sickness."
Hearing these words he felt a pit form in his gut for some unfathomable reason.
"You can't even smell it?" his father exclaimed.
"I do not make a habit of taking notice of my own scent, Chichi-ue. But I am not sick. As I said, there is nothing wrong with me."
"Sesshoumaru, you've borne this scent for over a year!"
His breath caught. "A… year?"
This is the sickness I overheard him talk to Izayoi about months ago… Is it very serious? And why should Chichi-ue choose to tell me about it now? Why did he say nothing sooner?
"Chichi-ue, why is it that you have never mentioned it before?" Sesshoumaru asked.
"I was waiting for some other kind of sign that it truly was an ailment. I half-expected you to keel over one morning, I suppose."
"Then why bring it up now?"
"When you returned back from your mother's you seemed normal again. There have been hints of it in the past few weeks, but it is only this morning that it has fully resurfaced."
Only this morning… But why is it that Haha-ue said nothing to me? She mentioned no sickness when I was with her, and she is not the kind of woman to let that pass her by.
"Did your mother fail to notice it?"
"That is not possible."
Touga nodded. "I agree. We'll go and see her later. For now, Katsutoshi is waiting for us, and he must not be given any cause to feel insulted."
Sesshoumaru also nodded, following the older daiyoukai back inside the dining hall. Misei was sitting staring at the floor, the scent of salt water coming off her. Katsutoshi looked stern, and spoke to Sesshoumaru.
"I offer you my deepest apologies for Misei's behavior last night. It was disgraceful of her to go to your chambers, and she promises," he glanced sharply at his daughter, "not to do it again, should you invite her back here."
Sesshoumaru accepted the apology, and the meal passed slowly and mostly in silence. After being released he walked round to the library, and bumped into Misei as she was exiting it.
"Gomenasai, Sesshoumaru-sama," she bowed apologetically.
He waited for her to move away.
"I… was just looking for you," she offered. When he failed to respond once again, she added, "I wished to apologize for my behavior these last few days. I know I haven't been acting very appropriately, but I was honestly hoping you would take me as your mate. My father…" she nervously checked the area around her, "He is very strict, and I hope to become mated as soon as possible in order to leave home. But I see that you hold no interest in me, and will not be disturbing you again."
He looked at her in surprise; who knew the spoilt brat would turn out to be not so bad after all? A shame she hadn't started off like this; he may have liked her. But even so, she wasn't Rin, so she wasn't good enough –
What do I mean by that? Of course Misei is good enough; she is the daughter of a powerful daiyoukai. She is a pureblood inu; a perfect match for me. It is Rin who is not good enough, as a human.
"I accept your apology and understand your reasons," Sesshoumaru finally spoke. "Please believe me when I wish you every happiness for your future."
Misei smiled at him; she really was cute. But her smile wasn't anything like Rin's beaming grin that rivaled the sunlight…
Stop thinking about her!
"Permit me to return the favor and hope you find a suitable mate yourself." Misei bowed to him before going down the hallway to meet her father before they left. Sesshoumaru continued into the library and began to do work. As noon began to approach, Touga appeared. The two inuyoukai went outside the castle wall before transforming and running to the castle in the clouds, neither seeing the pale pink eyes watching their every movement.
#~#~#
It was going to begin to get dark in another hour.
What is wrong with that girl? Doesn't she ever leave her room? Isn't that unhealthy for humans?
Misei pounded the branch supporting her in frustration, and it cracked. Squealing, she leapt onto a different one before she could fall to the ground.
"My patience wears thin, Misei," her father's voice came from the floor below her.
With an annoyed expression, she jumped out of the tree. "Chichi-ue, there is something about that slave of Sesshoumaru-sama's. I just know it. She eats her meals in the same room as him and the lord, and she waits on him all day. Haha-ue's friend told us her son despised humans, and yet his slave is never parted from him. Something isn't right about that."
"That may be, but we are on a tight schedule, as you are well aware," Katsutoshi looked down at her with a frown. "The ball is supposed to be held in two days, but for that to be possible you and I must be present. I came to escort you because I know how you delay yourself for matters such as these. We do not have time for them."
A pout formed on her painted lips. "But, Chichi-ue – "
She stopped suddenly and raised her head to scent the air. "She's coming," Misei announced, leaping through the gardens. Finally, that human has emerged outside!
#~#~#
"Well, if it isn't my dear husband."
Touga fought the urge to roll his eyes.
"What are you doing here? You and I both know that Sesshoumaru can travel without an escort," his wife said, standing tall before him to show her refusal to bend to his will. "Just because he is stressed that does not make him incompetent."
A searing pain shot through Sesshoumaru as realization hit him.
Stress… she said that last time, too. Chichi-ue thought it was sickness, but Haha-ue knows me better so she could better recognize the problem. I'm just stressed.
#~#~#
Rin had spent the day in her room, as she was supposed to.
It's so boring… I don't know how Kagome-nee-san and Kikyo-nee-san manage it.
A sigh escaped her lips as her shoulders heaved.
Kikyo-nee-san… She was injured a while ago, when Sesshoumaru-sama saved my life. I haven't heard anything of her since, as Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't want me to have any contact with her or Kagome-nee-san. I hope she's all right. Maybe when Sesshoumaru-sama comes to me tonight I'll ask him if I can go see them. Just to make sure Kikyo-nee-san is well.
She looked out the window and saw how low the sun was getting.
It will get dark soon. I want to go outside. Sesshoumaru-sama usually lets me go for a walk in the evenings, so no one will notice anything odd if they see I'm out of my room and not with him.
#~#~#
Inuyasha didn't respond to the knock on the door, and after a moment it slid open and Kagome entered his sleeping chamber. Seeing him sprawled on his side on the floor reading, she hesitated to speak.
"Ano… Inuyasha-sama?"
"Nani?"
"Ano…"
"Hurry up and speak. I've told you before I don't like listening to people stutter."
"Well, I just wanted to ask you something."
"What is it you want?"
"Ah… will you… will you come for a walk in the gardens with me?"
Inuyasha scowled at the book in his hands before throwing it to the ground and standing up.
"Fine. But I don't want to be long."
#~#~#
"Can't you tell the difference between stress and sickness?" Touga demanded.
"Can't you?" she returned, looking coldly amused. "Don't you even know your own son that well? I'm disappointed in you. I would have preferred the father of my child to be more than an ignorant blockhead."
"Sesshoumaru has nothing to be stressed about! The lands are doing well, and he is more than ahead in regard to his work. Stress is just not an option!"
"And you think sickness is? You think my son is plagued by an ailment? You have a lot less knowledge than you give yourself credit for."
"Know your place, bitch!"
"I am not afraid of you, Touga-sama. But then, you know that all too well, don't you?"
"Chichi-ue," Sesshoumaru finally spoke, interrupting his parents' battle. They both looked at him in surprise. "We have what we came here for; let's return home. I want to ensure Katsutoshi has left." I don't want Rin in the same palace with someone with that kind of power unless I'm there to protect her.
Touga nodded uncertainly. "I suppose you're right. But I still want to know what it is that ails you."
"It is as Haha-ue said. I have been stressed."
"I don't believe that."
You know less of me than either of us realize, Chichi-ue.
#~#~#
Rin hummed silently to herself as she walked through the bushes in the gardens. There was a gentle breeze that lifted her hair every so often, and it was very pleasant.
I wonder what Sesshoumaru-sama is doing. Probably work. Or maybe he's training with Inuyasha-sama, a frown worked its way onto her face. I hope not. I don't want him to get hurt again. His injuries keep getting worse the more they fight.
She could hear leaves rustling behind her, but thought nothing of it.
I wonder how many different kinds of flowers there are in the gardens.
Congratulating herself on finally having a train of thought that did not include Sesshoumaru, she jumped in shock when a figure overshadowed her, blocking out the sun's warmth.
#~#~#
Kagome sighed happily as she walked down the slightly worn path half a step behind Inuyasha. Seeing the soft expression on his face, she dared to jump up beside him and hug his arm, her fingers meshing with his. She was pleasantly surprised when he squeezed her hand in return.
He really likes me! Youkatta; I like him more than anyone else.
"Ne, Inuyasha-sama?"
"What is it, Kikyo?"
She stopped walking in shock, her hand sliding out of his. He turned around and seemed to realize his mistake.
"I mean, Kagome."
Kagome dipped her head so as not to let him see her tears even though she knew he could probably smell them.
No matter how much time he spends with me, he's still thinking of her! I'm just Kikyo's replacement, and I always will be. He only began to make use of me in the first place because Kikyo got hurt. Even Rei says he doesn't use her anymore. Why won't he see me for me?
"You like Kikyo, don't you?" she asked in a muted voice.
"Yeah," he seemed flustered by the situation.
"I mean, you like her most."
A serious glint entered his amber eyes. "Yeah, I do."
#~#~#
They ran in silence. A few miles from home, Sesshoumaru came to a stop and stared into the sky while taking a deep breath.
The air… there's no trace of Rin's scent. I'm so used to smelling it near me.
"Sesshoumaru," his father also stopped and looked back at him, his tail flicking. "Do you need to rest?"
"Iie. I told you, Chichi-ue, I'm not sick."
"What else could it be? You have nothing to be stressed about, as your mother said."
Sesshoumaru brought his paws together and sank his claws into the ground. "Sonna."
"Then what?" Touga walked up to him and looked down from his greater height. "Talk to me, Sesshoumaru. It has been centuries since you came to me with your feelings."
"Feelings are worthless."
There was a bright yellow light as the older daiyoukai reverted to human form. "Sonna koto nai yo."
Sesshoumaru also transformed.
"They only cause you trouble; there is no point in having them."
"Sesshoumaru, where is this coming from? Feelings are important, especially to daiyoukai. They give us the drive to accomplish goals, and our strength and power gives us the means. If you have no feelings, you have no ambitions. Is that true for you? What are your ambitions?"
"To be the strongest daiyoukai. I walk the path of supreme conquest."
"What, then? When you become the strongest, what will you do? What will you live for?"
"I – "
Touga was shocked; his son's scent was made up entirely of confusion and sickness. He honestly had no idea how to answer.
#~#~#
"Anata no namae wa Rin, ne?" Misei asked, a strange look on her cute face. It seemed to be a mixture of determination and disgust.
Rin nodded uncertainly.
"How old are you?"
She held up her ten fingers then another four, hesitating with her thumb.
"You'll be fifteen soon?"
She nodded.
"I see," Misei began circling her, as though she were a vulture rather than an inu. "Then, you should have no trouble finding a mate… or whatever you humans have… when Sesshoumaru sends you away."
Rin gasped in shock and horror.
"Oh, he didn't tell you?" the inuyoukai smiled sweetly. "Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it is inappropriate for a man to keep his concubine after he has a mate. I'm afraid you'll just have to leave."
So it's true… Sesshoumaru-sama is going to take a mate… and I'll have to leave him. Tears filled her eyes. Iya… I… don't want that… I want… I want to stay with him forever!
"Rin," Misei's smile turned smug. "You're not mute, are you?"
#~#~#
"Why did you come to me if you like her best?" Kagome cried. "Why couldn't you just have left me alone?"
Inuyasha hesitated before taking a step toward her. "You look like her," he said simply. "You even sound like her. And… ever since she's been hurt… I haven't been able to talk to her… or even look into her eyes because they're closed all the time while she lies unconscious. I… miss her, Kagome. And when I'm with you… it's like I'm with her… so I'm happy."
A part of her swelled with joy to hear him say he was happy with her, but another part – a greater part – fell to pieces. He didn't love her. She was just a substitute for the one who held his heart.
"Inuyasha," she said in a low voice, dropping the honorific. "I hate you."
He froze as if he had been shot.
"I really hate you!" she screamed. "I would have loved you more than anyone else, but you never even cared three straws about me, did you? You only wanted me to be Kikyo! Well, you can have her! If she wakes up!"
Kagome turned and ran away, blinded by tears.
"Oi, Kagome!" Inuyasha called after her, beginning to follow. "Matte yo!"
#~#~#
"I will find a new goal."
"So it's that simple? For you to keep working toward something, that is your life? You don't ever just relax and enjoy what you have made for yourself?"
"How can I just enjoy being the strongest?" Sesshoumaru shot back. But, being honest with himself, he wasn't sure if that was truly what he wanted anymore.
"As the leader of the west, I take my time to fully enjoy being as strong as I am, because Izayoi can enjoy it with me knowing that I can protect her from any danger. Why do you want to become the strongest?"
"Because – " Kuso, why was his father pinning him to the spot now?
"Who are you doing it for?"
"Boku." Rin's face appeared in front of his eyes. I'm not doing it for her. This has been my goal all my life. But… to push her out of my life would be impossible. Why is that? What purpose does she serve? What use is she to me?
"Chichi-ue."
"Hai?"
Sesshoumaru faced the dipping sun. "Return home without me. I wish to stay away for a while and think. I will be back before morning."
Touga stepped forward and placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "If that's what you want, then that's fine. I'll be waiting."
#~#~#
Misei looked extremely pleased with herself. "I just think that… it must be so awkward for Sesshoumaru to have a mute slave waiting on him. What if there was a problem you had to tell him about? Oh, you fooled me, for a while. Having the whole palace in on your little secret was helpful, but you can't hide something like that from a daiyoukai like me."
Rin took a step backwards. She was scared. Misei was frightening her, and she didn't know where Sesshoumaru-sama was. Although… if Misei was going to be his mate, would he save her? Wouldn't it be easier to let her die and save himself the trouble of sending her away?
"Come on, you're discovered," the inuyoukai advanced angrily. "Speak!"
Trembling, the human shook her head violently.
"Insolent brat!" She raised her glowing hand.
#~#~#
Sesshoumaru sat on the silent cliff, his thoughts surrounding him. The sound of birds flying into the sky in the direction of the palace shattered the tranquility, and instinct kicked him.
Something's not right.
#~#~#
Misei was on the verge her henshin.
Rin held Kagome's hand tightly. She had appeared just when the inuyoukai was about to slap her, and Inuyasha had stopped it. But… he still wasn't strong enough to take on a full-blooded youkai.
"Would you speak!" Misei screamed. "I know you can!"
She leaped towards the girls, and they gasped in fear. Suddenly, the youkai stopped with a cry of pain. In a heartbeat Rin was caught up in a pair of warm and strong arms. A grin lit up her face when she realized what had happened.
Sesshoumaru-sama! He came for me! He saved me!
"Misei," he glared at his would-be suitor. "Get out of these grounds before I rip you to shreds."
Misei had tears of pain in her pink eyes. Sesshoumaru had drawn his poison whip right across her backside, and she wasn't immune to his level of poison. It hurt worse than anything she could imagine. Realizing she was defeated at least for now, she backed away and ran to her father to leave.
Ignoring his younger brother, Sesshoumaru went into the castle with Rin still in his arms. In her room he set her down on the futon and sat beside her.
"Daijobu desu ka?"
Rin nodded, not looking at him. He got up and moved to go to his own sleeping chamber.
"Y- yurushite," she said quietly.
He stopped.
"When I was with Misei-sama… she said you were… going to take a mate… and I wasn't sure if… you would come… to save me."
He didn't move.
"For doubting you, I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama."
She turned away from him and hugged her knees tightly. He smelt her tears, but she was making no noise to indicate she was crying.
"Rin," going to sit behind her, he put his hand on her arms gently. "I wasn't at the palace, and she took my absence as an opportunity to attack you because you are close to me. It is I who should be apologizing for not ensuring she left before I did. My carelessness could have cost your life."
Rin gasped, sitting up straight. He… he wasn't actually… going to say it, was he?
"Rin, gomenasai."
Her eyes filled with tears again. Something she hadn't even heard him say to his father he had said to her. Something even more wonderful; he had apologized to his slave when he could have easily given away all the blame and punished her when she said she was at fault.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," she laid her hand on his, still holding her upper arms. "I know I have no right to ask, but could I sleep in your room tonight? Kudasai."
Sesshoumaru was surprised at her forwardness. "Why do you want such a thing?"
"I just – I love your room, Sesshoumaru-sama. It's so big, and I like the way you can have the balcony door open when it's warm."
As he listened to her voice he realized she was no longer pausing for breath in the middle of her sentences. She was getting better. Something inside him smiled, but he couldn't really permit her such a huge thing, could he? It was fine if he wanted to use her on his bed, but she obviously didn't expect him to tonight.
"Just this once. And don't ask for such things again."
Rin smiled brightly and turned her head around to look him in the eyes. "Hai!"
#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
youkatta – I'm glad
gomenasai – I'm sorry
nani – what?
ne – hey/say etc
sonna (koto nai yo) – "it's not like that"/"that's not true" etc.
anata no namae wa Rin, ne? – "your name is Rin, isn't it?"
iya – no
matte yo – wait
boku – "myself"
henshin – transformation/change
daijobu desu ka – "are you alright?"
yurushite – "forgive me"
kudasai – please
Do you realize how many reviews have been added to this story? 93!!!!! That's like, $$$$$!!!(cash register sound effects) Only seven more to reach the big 100 mark! That's never happened before to any of my stories! *leaps for joy* Keep 'em coming, onegai!!!! Ja xxx