Of Nightmares and Daydreams: Azula

Dreaming men are haunted men.
--Stephen Vincent Benet

"Four days?! The invasion is in four days?" Aang asked, a look of panic on his face.

Sokka yawned. "Whatever. That's like, four days from now. Let's just calm down and—"

The boy fell down his sleeping bag and began to snore. Katara smiled briefly. "Sokka's got the right idea, Aang. We're here, we're ready. The best thing we can do now is get some rest."

"I guess." He said skeptically. At the corner of his eyes, he noticed that Azula still hadn't fixed her bedroll yet. "Aren't you going to sleep, Sifu Re—I mean, Sifu Azula?"

His teacher looked distract as ever. "Perhaps later." Her eyes fell on Toph for a moment and she felt her chest constrict. Grimacing, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It wouldn't do to have these conflicting emotions, especially with the eclipse so near.

Scooting to avoid the Koala Sheep which grazed nearby, she rested her head against the cold stone. There was no way that she would sleep tonight. Not yet anyway.

She closed her eyes to rest her eyelids a bit. Snapping them open, she shook her head. No. It would simply not do.

I'm angry at myself!

Why?

Because I'm confused. Because I'm not sure I know the difference between right and wrong anymore.

Zuko. "You're pathetic," she whispered softly. Sighing, she buried her face against her knees. "And so am I."

What is wrong with you, Azula?

Nothing is wrong with me, Mother. I don't see why you have to make such—

That poor child almost died and you tell me that nothing is wrong? You should be more like your brother, Azula.

"And look at what's that done to me." She murmured, remembering those bitter moments when she was alone, wondering if she had done the right thing, joining their group.

Her eyes drooped, and this time, she allowed herself the luxury of sleep.

"Don't tell me this is another dream," Azula muttered to herself. She was standing on top of a cliff, her eyes staring at a black and white horizon. The air seemed unnatural to her; it was hard to breath and the heat felt heavy against her skin. An invisible force dragged her to her knees. Struggling to stand up, she gritted her teeth and pushed against the ground, her fingernails digging deep into the earth. With a burst of energy, she managed to lift her legs off the ground, before straightening them. The force which served to drag her down shifted in direction, this time pushing her towards the cliff. She fell.

She looked up at the sky hazily. Why was it always like this? Why were her dreams always so…strange? She lifted a hand, trying to reach for something, anything that would stop her from falling. She waited for a pair of hands to grab hers…a pair of hands that never came.

She wanted to close her eyes and shut everything out; the sounds, the fear…but most of all…the inevitable pain that would usually come. Doing this wasn't an option though. After all, she knew that she had to stay alert; she had to find a reason…a reason as to why she was dreaming these dreams.

Lightning flowed through her veins, making her gasp. Twisting her body, she brought her index and middle finger forward in the hopes of redirecting the lightning. It would not leave her. Was this her punishment for striking the Avatar that night?

A large winged snake-gecko appeared out of nowhere, grabbing her by the waist. Its teeth sank against her, but by then, she was already too numb to feel anything. Her fingertips were covered in blood—her blood—as she tried to pull herself out of its mouth. "No." She whispered. She knew it was a dream, but she was still afraid. Afraid of everything.

Her hands were suddenly burning, but she didn't care; at least the snake-gecko was burning with her.

Coarse hands reached for her. Grasping for her shoulders, this stranger eased her out of the beast's jaws. She let out a startled cry as she saw the face of her rescuer. "Toph."

The blind earthbender smiled at her sorrowfully. Pulling Azula close, she didn't even flinch as the flame consumed her as well. Tears slid down the firebender's face. Touching the young bender's face, she uttered a cry of distress. "No," she spoke softly, watching helplessly as Toph disintegrated into ashes. "No!"

She was falling again.

Stop.

Her head made contact with the ground. Groaning, she stood up and took a moment to steady herself. She heard a screech, making her body tense. Sliding into a fighting position, she braced herself for whatever was coming her way.

"I'm late! I'm late!" A winged-lemur—Momo, was it?—came running towards her. It was an odd sight; the lemur wore a samurai's kimono and carried a sword far too large for its size. "Eight minutes ain't gonna cut the budget! No sirie!"

Momo stopped in front of her. "I'm really late." Looking up at Azula, he growled, "And you know what, lady? It's all your fault."

Before Azula could react, everything was enveloped in darkness. Unearthly screams filled the air, making her drop to her knees, her hands clutching her ears in a desperate attempt to keep the sounds out.

Suddenly—

"It's your fault."

Avatar? She looked up, her hands falling to her side. The screams had faded into the background.

Aang, his face pale and his eyes emotionless, raised his hand, his index finger pointing at Azula. "It's your fault."

Abruptly, his face shifted and morphed into another familiar face. "Mother," Azula whispered, too shocked to say anything else.

"If I had known I was raising a monster, I would have killed you years ago."

It was Katara's face now. "I believed you."

"Traitor," Iroh snarled.

"Azula always lies." Zuko.

Ty Lee. "We were never your friends, were we?"

"You're not even my child." Fire Lord Ozai.

"You're the bad guy, remember?"

"You never change, Azula."

"Fire burns everything in its path. And so do you."

"How many have you deceived this time, Azula?"

"How many have you destroyed?"

"You're mean."

"Why try to justify yourself? You'll always be wrong."

"Bad guys like you don't deserve a chance to live."

"You're a nightmare."

"A monster."

"A cold-blooded psychopath."

"You never care."

"Yes," Azula said and slowly rose to her full height, her eyes cold. She remembered this girl who stood before her. She used to work as a servant of the palace—until Azula had almost killed her in a mock firebending battle that is, a game she had played with the servant girl. Those blind eyes—so much like Toph's—stared at her. She was responsible for that too. For a moment, Azula hesitated. "Your insults…these name-callings…they don't mean a thing to me," she said. "And you know what? You're right; I don't care. I never did. Not about you or—"

Her words got caught in her throat as she watched the girl's face transform. She knew the face it would change into next but she could not look away despite the feeling of dread that grew inside her.

"What about me?" The blind earthbender demanded. "Do you care about me?"

Stop.

"Well? Answer my question."

Azula's eyes narrowed. "I will not tell you where my people are."

"Your people?" Katara snorted. "Since when, Azula? If I recall correctly, it was your father's dying wish for Zuko to inherit the throne. Of course, I've killed the man already so that means I'm the leader of the Fire Nation by default."

"He's not dead," Azula said and took a step forward. "I know he's out there somewhere and I'm going to find him."

"Aaw. How sweet of you to care for your brother like that." Katara scowled. "My own brother has betrayed me, it seems. For one of your friends." Her smile returned to her face as she spoke, "But you know, I killed Zuko with my own two hands, Azula. It was so easy. He was in love with me, you see, and I knew that he dared not lift a finger against me. He went down without a fight. How pathetic."

"Don't talk about my brother like that!"

Azula drew the katana she had strapped against her hip and concentrated. Feeling her power crawl under her skin, she pushed them towards her blade arm. Before she could amass enough to call on her fire though, her body froze.

"Do you really think you can attack me when I am at the peak of my strength, Azula?" Katara taunted.

"No, but I'd like to try," Azula growled.

The waterbender laughed. "I control your blood, Azula. I control your whole body now. Do you truly think you can—?"

"I'd hate to ruin this perfect moment, but I'm afraid I have to borrow the princess for a bit."

"You!" Katara snarled. "You dare show your face now? After all these years?"

"I have no business with you, Katara. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a princess to rescue." The earthbender grinned. With a flick of her wrist, she sent Katara's soldiers flying. She twisted her foot and brought both hands down, palms facing the ground.

Katara screamed in fury as she was dragged down the earth floor. "Get me out of here this instant!"

The young woman walked towards Katara and patted her head which was the only visible part of her body left. "No can do." Standing up, she said, "Unlike some people, I am at the peak of my strength, whether it's night or day, as long as earth is my terrain."

"My lady, we have no time to spare! If you wish to save our Lady Azula—and yourself—then follow us." A young Fire soldier spoke. There was fear in her voice—fear of this powerful earthbender, and fear of getting caught. "We must leave now," she insisted.

The enemy benders had managed to earthbend their leader from her stony prison. "Running away, are you?" An enraged Katara sneered.

The blind woman turned to face Katara. "You go on ahead." She said calmly. "I'll buy you some time."

Azula who, moments ago, was frozen in place, moved to stand besides the earthbender. She gripped her katana tightly, a grave expression on her face.

"Lady Azula! What are you doing? You're not planning to fight them, are you?"

"That is exactly what I plan." Azula said, already moving into a firebending stance. "Go on, Sergeant Yun. Besides, I have a debt to pay to this woman. A debt for saving my life."

Stop.

Azula was seated on the Fire Nation throne, her legs crossed, her back resting against the chair and her fingers intertwined.

Another Azula stood, only meters away, a slight frown on her face.

"Welcome," Azula said and stood up. "I'd ask you to sit down but there's only one throne here. And it happens to be mine. Sorry."

"What's going on?" The other Azula asked, puzzled. "Who are you?"

"Well…you of course."

"But…I don't get it."

"It's quite simple actually. I've watched you, Azula, and frankly? I'm not happy with your actions. So I've decided it's time we had this talk." An image of Toph appeared besides the first Azula.

"What do you want?"

"For you to break your ties with this girl," she said and placed a hand over Toph's shoulder. "She is your weakness, Azula. She…complicates things."

"I—I can't, OK?"

Azula laughed. "Can't what? Can't even say that you love her?"

"That's not true!"

"Then prove it."

"I…I don't have to prove anything."

Azula rubbed her temples and sighed. "See? This is why we need her out of your life. She confuses you, Azula. She keeps you from seeing the right path."

"This is ridiculous."

"No, this isn't. But you are." Azula spread her arms as Toph's image disappeared. "Face it, Azula. You're breaking apart because of her. You don't know what's right from wrong anymore."

"I'm breaking apart because of these dreams, Azula. She has nothing—"

"Oh really?" Azula mocked. "Than why is it that you can't control your fire anymore? Not to the same level as you used to, anyway? Even when you were having those dreams, your emotions were still intact. You weren't this messed up."

"I don't believe you. You're not real—"

"Are you sure?" Azula asked. She moved her right hand in front of her, the index and middle finger slightly touching her lips. "Because if I'm not, then I couldn't possibly do this."

Lightning roared from her fingertips. It snapped at the other Azula's face, making her wince. She pirouetted and bent her back to avoid the lightning. Crouching, she jumped into the air and lashed her foot at this copy of hers. Fire sprang from her boot and flew towards Azula who simply waved the fire aside before grabbing her foot and throwing her against the wall.

"Is that all you can do? Why not attack with lightning? You've done it before."

She dragged herself off the ground and hissed, clutching her side in pain. She knew she could not attack with lightning. This…doppelganger of hers was right. Her emotions were wild, out of her control.

"I don't need lightning to defeat you," she said, her voice low. Raising her head, she glared at Azula. "After all, you're not real."

Her doppelganger snorted. "You still believe that? You and I are one, Azula. Or, we once were, anyway. If you want this power back, you must accept me, become one with me again."

"No." She ran towards Azula her hands alight with blue fire. "Never."

"Typical."

She crashed to the ground and gasped. Her other self stood behind her. Picking Azula up, she grabbed Azula's chin and forced her to look up. "End it now, Azula. Before it's too late."

"Azula, are you alright?" Toph asked. She was sitting besides Azula, her voice filled with worry. The firebender blinked.

"I don't know," Azula admitted. Her hands touched her side and she was relieved to note that it wasn't hurting. Letting Toph bring her into a sitting position, she realized that they were being watched.

Aang was the first to recover from the shock of seeing his earthbending friend so worried and asked, "Bad dream, huh?"

A/N: You won't see next update for a while. Why? Three things: a) the chapters will be longer (because more things will happen); b) with the winter break so near, I'm gonna be busy from all those schoolwork they keep shoving our way; c) I'm going to the Philippines for Christmas and...let's just say I'll be busy. Really busy.

Hopefully, one of you has guessed as to why Momo keeps saying "I'm late." It has something to do with the next chapter but that's all I'm going to say. No teaser this time though.