Chapter Thirteen: Delirium

Lost 'til you're found
Swim 'til you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love 'til you hate
Jump 'til you break
Know that we all fall down
--One Republic (All Fall Down)

Katara gave the small dirty barn one last look. Teo was curled to one side, hugging the fan Suki had given him. Pipsqueak was shivering in one corner while a Kyoshi warrior—the youngest of them—leaned against Haru's shoulder, asleep. The young man—whose moustache still distracted Katara constantly—stared blankly at the floor, a sword he must have gotten from one of the Fire Nation soldiers by his side. Sokka was sitting by Toph's side in silent vigil, his hand clutching Toph's with a gentleness that Katara did not often see from her brother.

Her heart clenched in pain; one member of their group was missing. Oh Aang…maybe abandoning you was the wrong thing to do. She closed the door and looked up at the sky for a moment, imagining Aang flying from behind the clouds with a weary grin on his face. Only it wasn't going to happen…because Katara had stopped believing. Had stopped since—

That day.

Katara stood up straight and looked ahead, her conflicting emotions behind a mask of cheerfulness. She headed for the village market.

Toph was sure she was dreaming. For one thing, she could see which had never happened before. For another thing, she couldn't hear anything; not the same way she could hear before anyway.

Having not experienced the power of sight for so long, she squinted hard and looked around her, trying to remember as much as she could, simply because it was her only chance at seeing anything at all. The sights greeted her warmly in vibrant colors of varying reds and yellows, reminding her of a certain princess she had no plans of remembering anytime soon.

"Greetings, child of the Earth."

She turned around and saw a beautiful woman standing in front of her in a regal manner, her eyes gentle and friendly. The way she stood reminded Toph of her own mother despite the fact that she had never actually seen her mother before. Perhaps it was that sense of motherly warmth that the woman radiated…perhaps it was something else. What Toph did know was that she would very much like to hug this woman right now. That feeling of want made Toph's heart squeeze with longing, the kind that frightened her.

"Hello," she whispered softly, afraid that the woman might go away.

"I was hoping I could have a talk with my daughter…but it seems that a higher power is speaking with her right now." The woman crinkled her nose in disapproval. "That moon spirit has been meddling too much of late."

I'm glad Sokka isn't here. Toph thought. He might make a speech about Yue again if he had heard her. "Excuse me but uh…just who are you?"

"My name is Ursa. I am Azula's mother."

Sergeant Yun stared at her liege unhappily, musing over the course of events which had happened not too long ago. The battle had been…hard for all them, but most especially for Lady Azula who had not only endangered her life but had also lost something very important. Now, if only Sergeant Yun could make sense of what this important thing actually was, maybe she could have sympathized a little more.

Her thoughts flitted to Lady Mai for a moment. One of her liege's dearest comrades, Lady Mai was sure to be in an even more worried state than she was, and was probably suffering at the helplessness of the situation. Having been given instructions to escort a certain pair against her will, she had no time to stay around Lady Azula and look after her. Sergeant Yun was left with this task as Lady Ty Lee had not been present during the Black Sun Invasion and was probably still in Ba Sing Se right now, maintaining peace throughout the land—although how the young acrobat could manage such a thing, Sergeant Yun did not know.

Her eyes rested at Lady Azula's sleeping form while her right hand rested at the hilt of her blade. Sweat dangled at the edge of her chin; her lips were dry and her eyes heavy with exhaustion. Sleep had not come easily to her last night, and she knew with a dreadful feeling that it would not come again tonight. There were still plans that needed to be set in motion and key figures that needed alerting. With the princess still asleep, Sergeant Yun wasn't so sure anymore if they could pull this whole thing off. She is my liege. I have sworn to protect her and fight for her as others have done. I am but one of many who are loyal to her. I am but one of many…The sergeant grimaced and shivered, tilting her face upwards to stare at the ceiling. So why am I caught in all this? I am but a mere soldier, a pawn in this unholy game of wars and death and destruction. I'm not supposed to worry about all this. I'm supposed to be in the barracks, sharpening my sword and skill, awaiting my liege's orders. Instead, I am made to watch my liege, hoping against hope that all would go well.

She let her shoulders droop as she thought of Ming who would replace her after another half-hour of guarding the princess's room. At least I'm not the only one trapped in this mess.

Well that explains my urgent need to hug her. Toph made a face. Maybe it's my instincts telling me to suck it up to her. "And I'm Toph…but I think you know that already."

The woman chuckled. "Indeed I do."

"So…why are you talking to me?" Toph asked, confused. She licked her lips and hesitated. "If it's Azula you want to talk to…why not just wait for her to finish talking with Yue?"

"It isn't as easy that." Ursa said and sighed. "Besides…I might as well get to know the one person who's managed to capture my daughter's heart."

"Even if she let her go?"

Ursa placed her arm around Toph's shoulders and asked, "Now why do you think that? Are sure she no longer feels anything for you?"

Toph looked up at those serene eyes and said, "Why else would she betray us?"

"I think you know the answer to that already." Ursa said and looked up. Toph mimicked her movements and saw, to her surprise, a large scroll hanging on the wall that was bare, only moments ago.

Toph felt her stomach do flip-flops. "Is that—?"

"Yes, dear; that's what Azula looks like. I'd bring her here in person, but as I've already said, she's busy elsewhere. Besides…I don't think it would be wise of me to bring the two of you together so soon."

"You got that right." Toph said wryly. Staring at Azula's picture, Toph gulped and, after a few seconds, turned away. She's too beautiful for me. What made her…choose me? I mean, yeah she's evil but with looks that could kill you'd think she'd have chosen someone a lot prettier. Take Katara for example.

The image of those two making out in Toph's mind made Toph shiver. She quickly pushed the thought aside and slapped her forehead for good measure. I don't know what's worse: that my inferiority complex is getting to me…or that the sight of my best friend and my girlfriend making out actually turns me on. What bothers me more is that I even know what Katara actually looks like. She let out a sigh and shook her head. And that I just referred to Azula as my girlfriend. Toph thought bitterly.

Feeling a tug on her shoulder, she looked up and saw Ursa motioning for her to follow. She gave a slight nod and trailed after the lady in red, all the while examining the corridor they had moved to. There was nothing new with the wallpaper designs—that much was obvious—but in the walls hung tapestries that either depicted several Fire Nation battles or had a family portrait of Fire Nation royalty. All were done to the finest detail, making Toph wonder about the maker of these tapestries. Of course, she had never seen such things in her life before and had never given a care for such things, preferring the feel of hard solid ground underneath her feet and the wind blowing against her skin.

"Lady Ursa," she spoke carefully, hoping the title she had used was right, "how come I can see? I mean, is it because I'm dreaming?"

"Perhaps it is because I come from the realm of the dead, my dear. After all, when one dies, one is not weighed down by any sort of disability that the physical body has. My presence must have awakened such an effect in your dream-world." Ursa quipped and glanced at her young charge cheerfully. "And I'd prefer if you call me Ursa, dear. We don't carry such titles to our deathbeds, you know."

Toph frowned. "You mean to tell me that you're dead? But why? How?"

"Wait just a little longer, my dear. I assure you. All will become clear soon."

Katara accepted the offered piece of cloth and blew her nose, wondering what had caused such an allergic reaction. She hoped that she didn't acquire a cold during those sleepless nights riding across the ocean to get as far away as possible from the Fire Nation Capital. If she did, she'd have to buy some medicine or the others might catch the disease as well and that would not bode well for their decreasing amount of money. Of course, there was always the option to work for an extra bit of cash but there was always the chance that they might be discovered by Fire Nation soldiers.

She picked up the basket of food she had bought from some smallish stalls alongside the street and thanked the man who had helped her before heading back to the barn where they stayed. The old couple who owned it was kind enough to let them stay without a second word but could not offer them food for there was not much to feed them all. Katara did not press them further, sufficiently grateful for what the couple had done. The old woman had also offered to give them some blankets, pointing out that they had a sick one in their hands and that it was the least she could do.

On the way back, she stopped by an old well and bended some water—while there was no one watching—and slipped them in her water-pouches. About to pick up the basket, her eyes caught movement near her left. She tensed and felt her power rush towards her, ready to be tapped at anytime.

"I-I mean you no harm," a young girl, about Katara's age, spoke, her lips quivering with fear. "Can you please help me find something?" She asked. "Only, I dropped something on the ground and I'm afraid I can't find it."

"Have you tried retracing your steps?" Katara said, relaxing into a casual stance. "That usually works for me when I've lost something."

The girl walked forward and looked up at Katara's general direction, surprising the waterbender. Eyes that could not see stared at her, tired and a bit troubled. "I don't think that would help," she mumbled. "Even if I tried to retrace my steps, I still wouldn't be able to see."

Azula turned around, her clenched hands held a fistful of lightning each. Wearily, she surveyed her surroundings and growled with gritted teeth. "I have had enough of these dreams. Show yourself, whoever you are."

"I'm sorry for burdening you with these…dreams, Azula, but I had to." The sound of the voice reminded Azula of the sound of waves as they are pushed and pulled by some unfathomable force. "Everything would have become worse if the Avatar had died. You know that."

Slipping into the light was a woman with the face of an adolescent but with the presence of a being who had lived on Earth for many years. The expression her face would have matched the one Azula wore except that hers carried no rage, only a pained sort of sadness. The fire princess let the lightning fizz and die, moving to stand in a regal manner as she did so.

"Must I bow to you, Moon Spirit?" Azula inquired rather coldly. "I was not taught how to behave among spirits."

Yue laughed and smiled, "Just try not to kill me as the last firebender I met once did. I can't say the same for the other spirits though. Some require certain…conditions to be met before allowing a human to speak with them."

"I've heard of you but only vaguely…" Azula said as she calmly folded her arms. "Water boy doesn't like talking about you whenever I'm around."

"He's never learned to trust firebenders," Yue pointed out. "But I guess with everything that's happened…I wouldn't blame him."

"So why the visit, Moon Spirit?" Azula asked, wincing at the rhyming quality of her inquiry.

Yue's eyes looked at hers. Gone was the sadness that Azula had seen earlier. In its stead was a more powerful gaze. Her eyes seemed as if…as if what Azula was staring at was the sun, intense and so painful to look at that she had to turn away.

"You're duty is not over yet, Azula," Yue spoke, her voice, once more, like the mighty crash of the waves of the ocean against the land. "You might have prevented the Avatar from dying in the hands of the Fire Lord but it is still too early for you to let your guard down. Perhaps you should have taken a different course of action. Perhaps you could have found a way to remain in their side but I cannot bring back the past for you."

"I knew the course of action which I undertook. I knew the path I would follow, Moon Spirit." Azula said forcefully. "I regret nothing. As we speak, my brother is assisting the Avatar. Surely you know that as you are a spirit with no physical body which traps you in our world at a certain point in time. I have plans, Moon Spirit."

"And how are you going to execute them when you are stuck in the Fire Nation Capital?" Yue inquired softly, dropping the power behind her words. "We both know that you don't trust your sibling and his uncle…despite their good intentions."

"I'll think of something." Azula said slowly. "I always do."

"Well, I suppose this is good bye," Ursa said as they arrived at their destination. "The rest will play out in front of your eyes as I hope it would." She nodded at the bare room. "Azula needs to know a bit about her heritage and I don't have enough strength to stay any longer than I have to here."

"So you're asking me to watch all this?" Toph asked uncertainly.

"Azula needs to know." Ursa looked like she was about to fade into the background. "The only family she considers now is her brother. Perhaps with this knowledge, she would be a bit more trusting. Besides, you and your friends need allies, do you not? Her father might be able to help you. Once the White Lotus is in full blossom…hope will shine upon you again."

"Wait!" Toph cried out frantically. "Don't leave me. What if I—" She stopped herself from what she was about to say and took a deep breath. What if I can't see again? The thought had frightened her. She knew that she could never have her eyesight back but the fact that at this time and at this moment she was able to see had filled her with a kind of longing for more. It was addicting and she knew it.

"Don't ever be afraid, dear." Ursa said, her voice becoming merely echoes as if sounds that were just remembering…sounds that had long been spoken. "And please give my daughter her love. She needs it, having been denied all these years." There were tears falling down her translucent face. "Love her as well, my child. She needs you now more than ever."

Toph stared at the empty space for a moment, a lump on her throat. Biting her lip, she touched her chest, her hand curling into a fist. I need her too.

Mai poked the embers of what had remained of the small fire she had built. Glancing at the mouth of the cave, she felt sadness crawl through her veins; a deep regretting sadness that clawed her heart and tore it apart. Yes. It was all a lie, Zuko. I had never loved you. You were just so…boring. Mai thought, trying to convince herself that it was the right thing to do.

Iroh had left first, heading for one of the major Fire Nation cities to negotiate with the Cuzon's Warriors, a rebel group that had started years ago when the Fire Nation had first attacked the Air Nomads. Their current leader was a sensible man and a direct descendant of Cuzon himself and would hopefully accept Iroh's invitation at an all-out war against the Fire Lord. It was all part of Azula's plan but Mai had been given instructions not to tell the uncle or his nephew that Azula was still orchestrating everything. In their eyes, Mai had good useful contacts and that Azula did not know about any of this at all. It was all a precaution of course. If they knew, then they might not agree to doing it as it was Azula's idea. When questioned about her loyalty, Mai had admitted to still being loyal to the Fire princess but saying that they couldn't afford to wait for her to wake up.

Zuko and Mai had fought after the old man had left and Mai had been forced to cut her ties with Zuko by telling him that she had only loved him because it was part of her instructions. Heartbroken, the young firebender had ridden off with Ji the crowlion. His task, on the other hand, was to provide the Avatar with some assistance.

Mai was left in the cave, waiting for Ty Lee to arrive. She better hurry up, or I'm leaving without her. Mai thought grumpily but half-heartedly. It would be against Azula's orders after all. Sometimes, I wonder if she ever actually thought of us as her friends rather than her followers. The traitorous notion made Mai shudder. It wouldn't do not to trust her now. She's the only voice of reason left. Nothing would make sense anymore if it weren't for her.

Katara placed her basket near an old tree's large roots and straightened up. "Where do you think you left it?" She asked, hopefully. "And just what is it anyway?"

"I lost a white lotus tile. It's probably a couple of meters to my left since I've mostly walked from that direction."

"A white lotus tile, huh?" Why do I have a feeling that there's something important about that tile? "What do you need it for? Is it a family heirloom or something?"

"Or something," the girl mumbled and sighed. "I just really need it, Ok? I can give you some herbs in return. You need some don't you?"

Katara seemed taken aback for a moment but quickly composed herself. "How did you know?"

"I have a sharp nose."

Seeing as the girl didn't want to speak any further, Katara headed for the area to the girl's left. There was grass about a knee's length there and some herbs that Katara didn't recognize. Normally, she didn't need the herbs, especially if it was for healing but with her power levels still dangerously low, she had no choice but to revert to other methods. She also had to depend on the credibility of the merchant who had sold her some tea leaves and an ointment for minor wounds. Making her own ointment and such was preferable but she had no choice at the moment.

Her eyes landed on a small peach-colored tile, its rim a light brown. Was that it? She remembered her brother holding a similar tile with a lotus painted on the wood. The tile had been given to Sokka by his sword master, Piandao. Coincidence or no? She shook her head and picked it up. "Found it," she said and handed the tile back to the girl.

The Fire Nation girl, judging from her clothes, accepted the tile with relief and smiled. "Thanks. What was your name again?"

"Katara."

The blind girl grabbed Katara's hand and shook it happily, "And I'm Cai. Your name sure is pretty. You from the Water Tribe right? Katara sounds like it comes from the Water Tribe. Are you from the North or the South? I couldn't really tell you see. I don't know many who come from that Nation."

"I'd leave you alone now but I sense that there is something you wished to ask me about."

Azula gazed at Yue with those cold calculating eyes of a fiery gold. "Why?" She asked, her voice somewhat strained. "Why me? And how did you make those dreams so believably real?"

"The dreams…are real. Do you believe in alternate worlds, Azula?" Yue inquired. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I'll take that as a no. Your dreams come from an alternate world where the Avatar really died and Katara had turned against the world in her grief."

"So let me get this straight," Azula spoke, her voice chilly. "The Avatar died and I played hero in that world. You then decided to place the events of that world in my head as a way of telling me that I have to save the Avatar in this world. Is there a reason why you felt the need to involve me, and yourself for that matter, for this particular world?"

"I knew there was nothing that could get past you." Yue said, her smile a stranger in a face filled with sadness. "As a spirit, I live outside time and outside the constrictions of a world. A problem is that during the transition from a human to a spirit, there is that one time where I can do something as a spirit while harboring the memories of that life at that particular world. One of my former selves fell in love with Katara and during the transition—"

"You gave her your blessing didn't you," Azula said accusingly. "You gave her the Moon Spirit's blessing which gives her quite the power during the full moon." It was a myth of course; a tale of old about the spirits and their blessings to the humans.

"Or for any kind of phase during the moon for that matter," Yue spoke. "I made a mistake, Azula. If Aang dies and Katara turns against the whole world again…with that power—"

"She'll make it even worse than the one in my dreams," Azula spoke softly. "She's going to destroy the world in her sorrow. What you did was beyond stupid."

Ty Lee breathed in the smell of the ocean, her arms spread wide as if hugging the world with a contented smile on her face. "I missed traveling so much." She spoke to no one in general. "It's just so…refreshing!"

Shen, who was lounging in the shadows of the ship's great metallic tower, moved forward, his eyes shining. "And so peaceful too," he spoke. "I have never been outside the walls of Ba Sing Se before and this—" he waved an arm with a flourish, "—this is all so magnificent."

"Really? You've never been outside Ba Sing Se before?" Ty Lee asked, shocked. "Then we should totally tour the whole place when the war's over."

When the war's over… It was wishful thinking in Shen's opinion but he did not speak, preferring instead to gaze at the ocean longingly. This peace would not last long, especially with a war brewing in the horizon. There would be no rest once this short voyage had ended. At last, he whispered in a wistful voice, "Yes, let's."

Sokka gazed at Toph's pale face with a sinking heart, his eyes already half-closed as the weariness he had been trying to fight off for days finally seeped through his body, eating what little energy he had left.

Oh, Toph, please wake up. Sokka tightened his grip on Toph's feverish hand. I need you. And you're worrying Katara too much. I swear, if you sleep through another day she'll—

­The door to the barn opened with a sullen twinge, making Sokka look up. "Katara?"

His sister stood at the doorway, her chest rising and falling as she tried to regain her breath. "Sokka," she gasped for air and stumbled to her brother. "I think I know what that lotus tile is for."

Before Sokka could react, Toph's eyes fluttered open. For a moment, stunned silence reigned. And then Toph screamed.

A/N: All will be explained soon. I have my fingers crossed. Next chapter deals with what happens to Aang and Zuko. When it will be posted still remains a question because I have a lot of fics to update. Besides, my brain has turned into jelly and I can no longer think straight.

Questions, comments, complaints and one-liners are always welcome. Just don't expect a reply if you're doing that last bit.

Oh, and if you see any grammar mistakes, you must report them at once. Because I can't stand grammar mistakes in my fics. And I don't have a beta who'd point them out for me.