2364

Beverly Crusher was walking through the mall at Farpoint Station, feeling very nervous. She had requested this assignment so that she could get the courage to do something she should have done nine years ago. She thought about how to approach him. She had not seen Jean-Luc in 10 years and the last time they had seen each other was not under the best of circumstances. It had been easy to hide her secret, but devastating to do so. She should have told him then, he would have been angry but might have understood. That was why she had taken this assignment, to get to know him again and find the best way to tell him without ruining anything. She was longing to go dig up her secret but could not do it without telling him first.

"Dr. Crusher!"

Hearing her name brought her out of her thoughts. She was approached by Commander Riker and her son, Wesley. He began talking to her and she could tell this wasn't just a friendly chat. He was up to something but she didn't really care. She wanted to go back to her thoughts, back to planning how to approach the captain. But he wasn't going away and she gave that up for a later time.

As commander Riker approached Dr. Crusher he could tell that she was distancing herself, though he didn't know why. He told her about what he had been experiencing but she was not interested. He would have liked to count her as a friend but she seemed unwilling, despite saying that she wanted to be friends. Since she had a son he had hoped that as friends she could give him some advice on the never ending list of issues concerning his daughter, Delaney. However, he shrugged it off. There was time for friendships later. Since her son seemed to like him, and he liked Wesley, maybe over time Dr. Crusher would too.

So in that moment he decided not to mention his daughter. He had mentioned her on both the Potemkin and the Hood and the reaction from colleagues had not been good. They had told him that he was too young to accept such a responsibility and that it would hold him back in his career and with women. Of course, this was only the reaction from males. The females tended to like that he had adopted a sweet little girl. But on the Enterprise, he decided that only the captain needed to know, and he probably already did since he would have looked at his personnel file and she was listed on there as his daughter. Maybe one day he would casually bring it up to Dr. Crusher, but for now and the near future, no one else would know. Not because he didn't want people to know he was a father, but because he didn't want to deal with the lectures. He would mention her to the crew when he got his own command, he knew he would one day and then no one could tell him she was holding him back in his career.

Commander Riker went into the Observation Lounge after conducting a manual docking of the drive section to the saucer section, as ordered by Captain Picard.

Captain Picard sat at the end of the table in the observation lounge, stirring his tea. Commander Riker stood at the opposite end of the table, hands behind his back, waiting for the captain to speak.

"A fairly routine manoeuvre but you handled it quite well," he began.

"Thank you, sir. I hope I show some promise," replied Riker as the captain brought his cup to his lips.

"I do have some questions for you, however," he said before taking a sip.

"Yes, sir, I thought you might."

Putting his cup down on his saucer he began, "I see in your file that Captain Desoto thinks very highly of you. One curious thing, however. You refused to let him beam down to Altair III."

"In my opinion, sir," began Riker in a confident tone, "Altair III was too dangerous to risk exposing the Captain."

"I see," he said, leaning forward and looking at his lap. Then he suddenly looked up and in an accusing manner said, "A Captain's rank means nothing to you."

With the same confidence as before, Riker explained, "Rather the reverse, sir, but a Captain's life means a great deal more to me."

"Isn't it just possible," began the captain with a tone of arrogance as he stood up, "that you don't get to be a Starfleet Captain without knowing whether it's safe to beam down or not?" He began walking towards Riker with his cup and saucer in hand. "Isn't it a little presumptuous of a first officer to second-guess his Captain's judgment?" he asked as he stopped a few feet in front of Riker and took another sip of his tea.

Riker was now feeling defensive. In a much more serious tone he asked, "Permission to speak candidly, sir?"

"Always."

Stepping towards the captain to close the space between them, he began in the same serious tone, "Having been a first officer yourself you know that assuming that responsibility must, by definition, include the safety of the Captain. I have no problem with following any rules you lay down—short of compromising your safety."

"And you don't intend to back off from that position?"

"No, sir," said Riker confidently, even though he was thinking he was about to loose the position he had just gotten. He was not going to step down from his position on the matter.

Picard looked down at his cup, tapping it a couple of times, before beginning in a much gentler voice. "One further thing," he said as he began walking towards a window, his back to Riker. "A special favour."

"Anything, sir."

With his back still to Riker, he said, "Using the same strength you showed with Captain Desoto I would appreciate it if you could keep me from making an ass of myself with children."

"Sir?"

"I'm not a family man, Riker," he said with some annoyance, "and yet Starfleet has given me a ship with children aboard."

"Yes, sir."

"Since you seem to like children, I thought it would be something you'd enjoy anyway."

"Sir?" Riker was not sure what the captain meant by that.

"Your file shows that two years ago you adopted a child. I assumed that you liked children since I can see no other reason why an up and coming officer would take on such a great responsibility."

"I see, sir," he said, feeling annoyed that a lecture about her holding him back was coming.

"Your file also shows that this child has not been a hindrance to your duties, responsibilities, and career. These facts are what drove my final decision to accept you as my first officer. I hope the same will be true here."

"Yes, sir," he answered, relieved that he had noticed that she was not a problem.

In a much humbler tone, Picard continued, "And I… I don't feel comfortable with children," he said before turning back around to face Riker, "but since a Captain needs an image of geniality," he paused to smile before finishing. Then, in a very serious voice and expression, "you're to see that's what I project!"

"Aye, sir," said Riker, feeling as if he had just witnessed someone going through multiple personalities.

Picard walked towards Riker looking happy. "Welcome to the Enterprise, Commander Riker," he said and extended his hand to him.

Riker half smiled and looked down at his extended hand. He was sure he had definitely seen multiple personalities. He accepted the hand shake and looked back up at the captain with a smile.

Dr. Crusher sat in her office, thinking. She had finished some work and had a moment to herself. This was a big ship and in just one week she had gotten all sorts of accidents and maladies to treat. This was sure to be a place to keep her busy and on her toes.

She remembered the reason she asked for this assignment in the first place. Jean-Luc's reaction towards her and Wesley was not what she had expected. He had almost thrown her off the ship so that he didn't have to deal with his feelings about their past, about Jack. She needed to get him used to the idea of having her around before telling him her secret. They had to form a friendship first, a closer one. Telling him right now would probably be devastating. She'd waited 10 years; one more wasn't going to kill her.

Commander Riker was in his quarters writing a report. He had been on board for almost a week and things had gone relatively well after they had passed Q's test. The door chime brought him out of his report.

"Come in," he called. The doors swished open and he looked up to see who it was. It was Counsellor Troi. He had seen her his first day on board and all those emotions from two years ago had been brought up to the surface. It had been difficult to put those feelings aside, for both of them, during their first mission on Farpoint Station. He had not spoken to her since, not while off duty, anyway. Their conversations so far had been brief and work related. He knew he had to face her eventually; he just didn't have the courage. The frequency of their communication had gone down when, two months after he had left, she said she could no longer be Delaney's counsellor because of her personal relationship with her and her father. She could not detach her personal feelings from her professional responsibility. He understood that but they had used the counselling updates as an excuse to talk. He then stopped trying to stay in communication with her after she left Clairmont Academy a few months later.

"Will," she said as she came in through the doors. She was not in uniform so this was very clearly not a professional visit. "We need to talk."

"I know," he said, getting up from his desk. "Take a seat. Would you like something?"

"No, thank you," she said as she sat down on his couch. She kept a neutral expression, not wanting to be overcome by her feelings. He walked over and sat next to her. They faced each other and Counsellor Troi began. "I think it is obvious that we cannot start from where we left off."

"I agree. It has already been difficult for us to detach our personal feelings from our duties."

"Yes, it has."

"But that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?"

"Right," she said with a smile. Will leaned towards her and opened his arms, she naturally fell in them. They held each other for several minutes before letting go.

"I've missed you," said Riker.

"As have I. You stopped writing and calling."

"I got caught up in everything I had to do."

"What about Delaney?"

"We talk often. If fact, I am going to call her in another hour. You can join me if you like."

"I'd like that. How is she doing?"

"She's good. She has passed all the other students her age academically. At 10 years old she is taking classes with students that are 12 and 13. She has taken up the saxophone, though she still needs plenty of practice. She has joined the choir. Her singing is much more pleasant than her saxophone playing, but don't tell her that. And she is going through a stage where she wants to be called by her middle name, Yvette."

"That's good. Now tell me about her as a counsellor and not your friend."

Will sighed as he leaned back onto the couch.

"She constantly breaks curfew, using her older friends as an excuse. I tell her that their curfew is only thirty minutes later than hers and doesn't explain the other 45 minutes that she was late and that she must follow her curfew. She turns in assignments late and she gets marked down for it. Unfortunately, she does such a great job that even after the mark downs her grades are still good. She went swimming in the lake without permission, not that it's ever allowed. She hasn't been doing a good job with her house chores, only doing parts or not doing a decent job. I've taken all privileges away, I even stopped sending her credits for personal use, but she is not getting any better. I thought it was because she was taking classes with older kids and she was trying to be like them. Her current counsellor says that she is probably testing me; to see if she can get me frustrated enough to say something like I wish I wouldn't have adopted her. She says I just have to be firm and not back down from anything I say."

"The current counsellor is probably right. How long has this been going on?"

"About five or six months."

"She has had a very good two and a half years, much better than her whole life. She is probably thinking this is too good to be true and wants to see if it can go away. She wants to see if it really is forever."

"There are nights when I lay in bed, thinking, why is she punishing me like this? Why doesn't she believe me?"

"Believe what?"

"That I love her and no matter what happens I will still love her. That she is my daughter forever."

"I'm glad to hear that. Just keep being firm and she'll grow out of it."

"I hope so. I wouldn't want to have to break a promise."

"What did you promise?"

"I told her that when she graduates I'd bring her onboard with me. At the rate she is going she will probably be graduating early, in another five or six years. If she is still acting like this, there is no way I can bring her onboard a starship."

"Maybe you should tell her that. It could be a goal for her to work towards. Just don't use it as blackmail. That would make it worse."

"Deanna, I am so glad you are here. I was hoping to get some help from Dr. Crusher since she has a child, but she was less than receptive to me."

"I'm glad I can help. What did she say when you told her you had a child?"

"Nothing. I didn't tell her. Since she didn't seem like she wanted to talk I decided not to mention it. And I'd like to ask you a favour. Don't tell anyone. The captain knows and that's all I want for now. On both the Potemkin and the Hood I was given a rough time about it. She has never interfered with my duties yet I was told on more than one occasion that she would be holding me back. I don't want to hear that again, especially right now that we are going through some tough times."

"I understand."