Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the characters that belongs to Stephanie Meyer.
Chapter 20:Heaven or Hell?
Nessie POV
People say that when you die you see a bright white light, if you go into the light you will be accepted to heaven. Others say that if its hot and feels like the centre of the earth, then you were condemned to hell.
Right now I wish I was in either, instead I am stuck in darkness. Everywhere I look darkness. Why cant either God accept me or Satan condemn me. I felt a cold hand place onto mine. Okay what the hell was that (no pun intended). It was cold and gripped onto my hand with slight force. The smell of lavender and honey filled my nostrils. Each of my family had unique smells, this one belonged to Esme. Wait a minute was she here too, no that was impossible right? Okay if I am not dead I think I may be crazy.
The darkness was beginning to let up. I could faintly see lights around me. I guess God was accepting me. The light was bright but not that bright. My eyes flickered open, but not to a heavenly plane full of angels and love. But to Carlisle's study. Okay if this is heaven it seriously needs redecorating.
"sweetheart your awake" I turned my head to see Esme sitting holding my hand. I tried to move my other arm, but a searing pain shot through. I couldn't help but let out a little cry. I was laid in a bed, with machines surrounding me. Some were beeping others were silent. I now felt tubes in my right arm and up my nose. These were seriously uncomfortable.
The burning pain I felt before had died a little, but it was still there. As if she could read minds Esme fluttered off through the door. Carlisle came in quick, with a look of joy on his face.
"I am so happy your awake. I have some painkillers for your arm" he replied. And stuck a needle into the tube on my left arm. This seemed to numb the pain.
"where …. Are ..my ….. Parents" I managed to choke out. God my throat was killing.
"they went hunting with the others. Esme has gone to get them, to let them know your awake" Carlisle said. He smiled a smile which I hadn't seen him give to anyone other than Esme. I gave him a small smile back. Big mistake. My face felt swollen and bruised. I couldn't help my self I had to ask.
"how bad am I" I managed to say in a small voice. The smile disappeared and he sat on the chair Esme was sat in.
"when we found you last night you were barely conscious. You had a deep wound on the back of your head, your face was covered in cuts and bruises. Your stomach and legs had been mauled and your left arm had a seriously deep cut. You lost a lot of blood, we thought we wouldn't be able to help in time" he replied looking down. Realisation hit me then, I almost did die. I almost left this world. I couldn't help the tears that were coming down my cheeks, I wanted them to stop. Not because I was embarrassed but because they hurt.
"you will be in a lot of pain for a while Nessie" Carlisle continued. I heard a light tapping at the door. Carlisle left my side and opened the door revealing both my parents. They both walked with a slow motion even for vampires. Once close enough my mother took my hand, I winced at the pain.
"Bella sweetie we have to be careful with her" my daddy said holding my mothers shoulder. She instantly let go and mouthed sorry.
"its okay" I replied in a small voice. She grabbed my hand again only lighter and sat on the chair. My dad sat on the end of the bed and pushed a lose curl out of my face. I felt as though if vampires could cry the both would be in hysterics.
"you have no idea" was all my daddy replied. Mum looked a little taken back but said nothing.
"we thought we had lost you" my mum started looking at my dad. Wanting him to continue.
"it was something I wish I had never seen. I promise you sweetie we will catch those things" daddy said with pure hatred in his voice. After a little while my parents said that I had a few more visitors that wanted to see me.
Next to come in were Alice and Jasper. Alice looked like she also would be crying, Jasper looked just as upset but with a slight hint of anger. I guess he felt the same way as daddy. Next to come in were Rosalie and Emmett. They both rushed to my side. Rosalie was having trouble speaking and Emmett looked happy. It took a while for them to leave. Aunt Rosalie had to be dragged out by daddy and Emmett. It continued like this for hours, the only person who hadn't seen was Jacob. As if on cue there was a tapping at the door.
"come in" I said in a quiet voice. The door opened slowly revealing a sad looking Jacob. He walked closer to the bed, unlike the rest of my family he could cry and looked like he had. His eyes were blotchy and red. He had been crying and recently too.
"hi" was all I said.
"hi" was all he replied back. He looked at me a moment, I think he was trying to figure out what to do. I thought I would make it easier. Very carefully I reached out my right arm towards him. Without a second thought he took it carefully. I felt a pleasurable warmth take over my body. He looked at me a moment before sitting.
"did you really mean what you said in the forest" his husky voice asked. It was filled with fear and curiosity. I looked at him a moment.
"of course I meant it. Did you" I asked. I didn't want to ask, just in case he said it just to keep me holding on.
"yes of course I meant it" he replied. His face seemed to light up. "I love you Renesmee Cullen, I have always loved you and will always love you for eternity" he continued. Damn why did he have to make me cry, they were tears of joy but they sure as hell hurt.
"you have no idea how long I have waited to hear that" I replied. In one swift movement he leaned closer to my face. I could feel his heat radiating off his face onto mine. He placed a delicate kiss on my lips. This of course sent my heart into overdrive. His lips were warm and soft, they felt like they were meant for mine. It was short but sweet.
"I wouldn't have stopped, if you weren't in such bad shape" he playfully mocked.
"well I heal fast" I replied with a grin. We stayed like that teasing each other for a while before I started to get sleepy. Jacob place a light kiss on my forehead before heading out of the door. Even though I am banged up to hell today was pretty good. I drifted to sleep thinking of Jacob, but that changed to dreams of Josh. Carlisle said that my stomach and legs were mauled but not my arm. I remembered my body shaking violently, the feeling like something was trying to take over. I shook the thoughts from my head and drifted to sleep.
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