Chapter Eight: Till You Shed Your Pride

(A/N: I've been MIA on this story for about two years because I just didn't know what to do with it and I forgot about it … but I just saw OTH and thought that I could do something with this. If anyone's still reading, I'm still writing even if it is very slowly …btw in spite of the "hate" reviews, I will finish this. –NL)

"You think you're clever don't you Lucas? Don't you! You went along with this Miami idea so you could watch me tell Jake how much I love him just so you could just ruin it. Why?" Peyton wondered hysterically and incoherently.

"Peyt, What are y--"

"No. You lost that right to call me that. Ever. I should've just let Brooke have you. You're nothing but trash anyway. You're obviously not over her either." She sighed, tears streaming from her face.

"Peyton, you belong in Tree Hill not here. Don't blame it on Luke." Jake spoke up as she shook her head in disgust. Now they were teaming up against her.

"Why don't you just put a bullet to my head? I am soo … through with both of you. It's over. Don't call me. Don't e-mail me … and just … don't …" Peyton run off in the opposite direction taking Luke's car with her.

"So it was all true, wasn't it?" Nathan screamed. "You and the 'famous' Chris Keller?"

"Nathan … please listen."

"Listen, to what? I saw all I needed to see. I know who you are now Haley and I hate that person. This person that came to my house, begging for my forgiveness and then goes out and does this? The ultimate betrayal…"

"Chris doesn't mean anything to me and he's not the problem."

"Oh really? Then what is? We were fine until he showed up." He answered back, furious.

"If you had just let me go…"

"What?!"

"The problem is my music and as much as I want you in my life, I can't choose. Music is my life. I live, breathe, and sleep it. It's the first thing I wake up thinking about and the thing that helps me sleep at night. It's my dream Nathan--"

"Then go follow it." He replied dejectedly.

"What did you say?"

"You'd die without music, it's your life source, the only thing that matters to you--"

"I never said that."

"Actually, you did." A tipsy, amused, and yet surprisingly aware of the drama that was unfolding. Chris smiled. This confrontation might be enough to get Haley back on tour and to pick up from where they left off.

"Stay out of it." Haley warned. "I'm putting my career on hold for you Nathan, for us but it doesn't mean that I want my dream any less."

"I told you this before and I'm telling you again. Go." Nathan urged her.

"I know you don't mean that. I know you want me to stay with you and be by your side." Haley responded fearful of what would happen if Nathan wasn't apart of her life. And deep down, she knew that Nathan was talking about more than her going back to the tour … could he really want her to leave for good?

"You belong on tour. It's your dream."

"I can't … I won't."

"Then I will." Nathan backed away, leaving Haley and Chris at the back of the club together. Haley wanted to run after him and tell Nathan how much she loved him and make him see that he was her dream too. He was her dream. She didn't. Instead, Haley's mind went racing, creating all kinds of scenarios, things she would say to him if she could.

"You busy?" Chris glided over to Haley smoothly, not wanting to set her off and send her back to Nathan, but wanting to seize the opportunity that was directly in front of him.

"I'm going home."

"What home? It's over with Nathan." He answered back.

"Fine, then we're going to get a hotel and get you as far away from the alcohol before you become any more obnoxious."

"While you're calling them, I'll be in there." Chris headed for the door. He slowed his pace waiting for Haley to follow, which she didn't. "But, on second thought … I just can't leave you out here, you know being the gentleman that I am and all, but I can do you a favor. You can party with me."

"No thanks Chris."

"Seriously. I know you won't get too smashed, so you'll be my little alcohol monitor."

"Do you not realize what just happened? And you want me to party, with you? I have to save my marriage."

"I have to save my marriage."

"You have let it go. It's gone. But I know the best way to get over something is to make yourself forget it ever happened."

"Let me guess, you want me to go back in there."

"Yeah, we've got to finish checking out the competition." He joked, referring to the rap contest going on in there.

"What the hell? Tonight can't get much worse."

Peyton started running with absolutely no idea of where she would go or what she would do. All of it … everything was just crashing down on her and she didn't know anything anymore. She didn't mean to sound ungrateful or like a stupid suburban American girl who complained about her life when people were out there being massacred, but right now all Peyton could think about was how her life had crumbled.

Not crumbled. Crumbling would imply that it could be put back together. Somehow, someway it would be replaced, but Peyton couldn't believe that bull shit. She was alone and there was no more real reality than that. Loneliness could kill even the most naïve optimist. Peyton took a turn towards the hotel that they had been staying at. A bathroom, if she could just get to a bathroom.

With a sigh, Peyton was on her way. She needed to go do something, really important … something that she never thought she'd be on the brink of even considering. Peyton just wanted to feel something, anything besides this emotional pain that pounded with every step she took.

And it was so loud. So loud that she could barely think about anything else. She couldn't. All the Peyton could focus on was her mom, Lucas betraying her, Brooke hating her, Haley gone, Jake moving on … everyone gone.

There was only one way to shut out the voices … maybe. Peyton had to at least try before she did something really stupid. She just had to try. She had a friend once that— Peyton gasped. This hurt more than she remembered, but it was having sort of a soothing after effect.

As the pace of her breathing slowed, the blood flowed down steadily which brought a serenity to Peyton that she wasn't expecting. It had been a while, too long since she'd let this go and it felt good, so good like a guilty pleasure. But more than that, it was her own little secret, a way for Peyton to control Peyton's life and not have everyone else dictate it.

She quickly started to clean up the mess, still feeling euphoric from earlier and much calmer, but bummed that the feeling had to end. Peyton looked down at her arm, with pride. Two short, yet deep cuts were engraved in her skin. They were her battle wounds and with every one she added, Peyton felt like she'd get stronger.

"I can do this." She said to herself, wrapping up her arm and laying on the bed hoping that she wouldn't be disturbed.

"Chris, did I mention that this was a bad idea?"

"Yeah, but it was fun. We had fun, didn't we?" He responded as the duo hopped out of the cab. "Nathan's place? You're bold."

"I'm not giving up on him that easily."

"And I'm not giving up on you." Chris joked, kissing Haley's left cheek, then right, and then her neck.

"Stop it." She protested weakly as Chris continued. "No seriously. We're at the doorstep. If you don't want another butt kicking, you should quit it."

"Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you." Chris promised.

"Look at me." Haley cupped his face. "I want you to get help. I want this to end and I want you to convince Nathan that he's being insane about us breaking if off."

"He's not. I want you Haley and whether or not I go about it the right--"

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, reaching for the doorbell, but was intercepted by Chris who kissed her strongly. "I'M WARNING YOU, STOP IT." Haley demanded, a little tipsy from the night and not sure if she was imagining this or if it was really happening.

"I love you." Chris responded, pushing her against the side of the house, forcing his tongue down her throat as Haley started hitting him back. Her pounds made no matter to Chris who just took it as her way of telling him that she wanted more, adding fuel to his fire.

"STOP IT!" Haley yelled at the top of her lungs, kicking and fighting uselessly, even biting Chris' tongue, but nothing made him stop. Now, she felt her shirt being ripped off, her pants completely gone and Haley's worse nightmare was coming true.

"No!" She yelled, mustering up enough strength to knee him, rushing to Nathan's door for some kind of sanctuary. "Please! Open the door Nathan! Open it!" She yelled to a nearly empty house. Ms. Scott was inside, hearing every word Haley was saying, but she made no moves to help her. In her mind, Haley was slowing Nathan down. She was trouble and overly dramatic. Instead, she turned up her stereo and continued her daydreaming. Finally, she was having a good day and no one would ruin it for her.

"Let's get going." Brooke urged, anxious to see if her eyes had been deceiving her or not. She just cared so damn much.

"Why are you in such a rush?" Felix wondered. "The doctor says you should wait."

"Screw the doctor." Brooke answered. "You know, I'm kind of surprised that you're still here with me. The noose has been loosened. You're off the hook. No baby." She stated nearly emotionlessly.

"And why does that not seem to phase you?"

"See if I answered that question, it would put you in the friend category and you're not quite there. You and I just have sex and … that hasn't happened for a while, so I'm wondering …"

"I still want to be here for you. What we went through was heavy."

"And I'm bored already. Can you tell Salma to hurry? I'll be in the cab." Brooke responded as the crew followed shortly after. They were taking a flight, courtesy of Felix's parent's credit card back to Tree Hill, North Carolina for some closure.

Brooke placed her hands on her stomach, like she had been doing a lot lately, but then yanked them away abruptly. No. She didn't have to do that anymore. So, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As long as she didn't think she'd be able to have fun and live.

(A/N: I really hope that Peyton and Lucas end up together [on the real OTH. I just had to say that. With this story, I don't know yet. –NL)