Becoming Syaoran Li
Summary: She never dreamed of sleeping with her boss, she never dreamed of falling in love with him, she never dreamed of becoming him. So technically, does she love herself then? SS AU
Disclaimer: I don't own this story; I own my ideas and extra added in characters.
A/N:
Sorry about the few mistakes guys, I was just really excited to get this story out aaaannnnddd it was really effin' early in the morning, yikes!
Chapter 2:
Alive
It had been nearly two weeks since Syaoran last spoke to her, and it was driving her bonkers, she didn't understand why he was being so …mean towards her at work. He barely came out of his office and barely called her for things, it was totally unlike him.
"…Maybe, maybe he's just trying to cleanse himself of you Sakura. Have you ever thought about how he felt?" Her long time best friend, Tomoyo Daidouji said.
Sakura hummed, tying the telephone cord around her finger. She couldn't talk about this at home because Ethan was home earlier than she was giving her no privacy to herself – not that she minded, really.
"I mean, he liked you for how long before you guys started your… er… thing and then you ended it really suddenly. It was like a slap in the face, not that I'm trying to be mean to you or take his side. I just want you to understand why things are the way they are right now"
Sakura sighed, blowing the hair out of her face. "I know, but it is so messed okay? I hate coming to work now. It's quiet and boring and just…-"
"KINOMOTO!"
Sakura sat up straight and glanced around the hall before slouching back down, her mood suddenly more bitter, "I gotta go Tom, maybe I'll call you tomorrow. Lunch soon?"
"Yes, chow love."
Tomoyo was twenty five as well, a year older than Sakura – nearing twenty six and owned her own fashion boutique in the heart of Tokyo. Business was better than ever for her, she did fashion shows around all of Asia, and designed designer outfits for the wealthy. It had been her mothers company so it had always been in her family, and ultimately – attainable.
Sakura put the phone down quietly and got up, pulling her black skirt down and her grayish black blazer down, hiding a bit of her stomach. She gulped down the bump that was rising in her throat and ran her hair through her hands as she headed down the corridor to her angry boss's office.
Pushing the door slightly, she saw Syaoran sitting at his desk, his iPhone in hand and a...unbelievably gorgeous woman sitting across from him. She knew that they were possibly seeing one another, that or she was family but her gut was going on the first one.
And she knew that if there was a small chance that something could or should happen, he'd pick the beautiful one over her, measly old self.
She slouched slightly as she went into the office and shut the door with a soft click, "Yes Mr. Li?"
He lifted his head up, stared at her with strange, cold amber eyes that once had an ounce of light and sunshine in them. She found herself missing the old Syaoran Li – he had done a completely 180 in only a few weeks.
Only, because she didn't feel the same way about him, and had chosen Ethan over Syaoran.
For good reasons, she found that annoying little voice in the back of her head tell her. But why did she feel like she had made a huge mistake…?
"I want you to cancel my appointments for today. I'll be out all day today…" he trailed off and the pretty Asian girl stared up at Sakura; Sakura guessed she was Chinese with bright red eyes and black hair – sleek and sexy, unlike Sakura's who's was slightly frizzy and rather annoying.
She went to open her mouth but he caught her off, like a blow to her heart. She felt her heart clench up but shook it off, nonchalantly. "…With my girlfriend." He drawled the last word out, fully knowing she hates it when he does that.
He wanted to play nasty – then she would too.
With a soft nod, she left the room with a smile plastered on her face. It didn't reach her eyes; he took note of that before smiling at his companion.
"Ready babe?" She called out, as she stood up – adjusting her dress and capturing his hand in hers.
I thought I'd forget you, but I guess I forgot to.
"Li Corporation, Sakura speaking – how may I help you?" She hadn't spoken to him all day at work the next day, and it was nearing the end of the work day. Ethan didn't come home last night, didn't bother calling or anything and it was slightly puzzling.
But this morning, she had received a call saying he fell asleep at the shop, and that's why he didn't call. He worked at a high paying mechanics shop as a detailer for cars, brought in good money and could support her well.
Yet not as good as Syaoran could…
Of course, when she talked to Tomoyo – she didn't seem to believe it but she wasn't going to push the subject. Everything she said seemed to back Syaoran up and it was starting to annoy her, so she just dropped the whole thing all together.
"Yes, I'm looking for…Syaoran Li" A woman's voice said.
"And may I ask whose calling?"
There was a small hissing on the other end of the phone and Sakura glanced around weirdly, wondering if this was some sort of nasty joke. "It's his girlfriend, I'm calling from China and I want to speak to him right now"
It was odd, the woman was here in Tokyo yesterday – but perhaps she flew back yesterday night. "Ah yes, how was your flight Miss?"
"…What?" Everything went dead silent and Sakura assumed that she wasn't the same girlfriend from yesterday. She could either play dirty or play innocent.
It was as if someone had come up behind her, and stuck a knife to her back. Suddenly she went very rigid, and eyes wide. She had a sneaking suspicion that something was going on.
"U-uh, nothing. I-I'll get Mr. Li on line for you in a moment" and before the mysterious woman could respond, she put the call on hold and slammed the receiver down.
That's when she heard some rough noises coming from Syaoran's office. It was as if someone was taking a bat to his most prized possessions. "What…the…fuck…"
Walking down the corridor with apprehension, Sakura ignored the ringing phone back at her desk, and continued down the hallway towards Syaoran's office.
That's when she heard it again, another bang. There was no noises afterwards, and Sakura swore she could feel her heart jump up into her throat, it was scary as shit.
She had no idea what to do, and before thinking – she opened the door slightly, stopping just before the creaking noise emitted.
That's when she saw it, and felt like throwing up. The same Asian from yesterday was lying back on Syaoran's desk and he was behind her, slamming into her.
And for a second, just a second – she wished it was her.
--
"Come on babe, hurry up" His voice was soothing and soft, and she felt agitated. He couldn't seem to leave her alone, could he?
"I'm almost there; can you just stop and give me a minute?" She spoke, her tone angry. He just nodded, and closed his eyes.
Walking up the steps to her apartment, Sakura sighed and shut the phone off. Just listening to his voice made her want to rip her eyes out.
He greeted her at the front door like a loyal dog, like he didn't want to give her space and it annoyed the fuck outta her.
She brushed past him, and he turned around glaring at her retreating back. "Sakura!" He screamed out, and she stopped dead in her tracks, before whizzing around.
"What?" The tone of her voice came out angry, she was mad – no doubt about it. He could see the anger in her eyes.
There was no smile that reached her eyes, it was obvious.
"What's wrong with you lately? You've been so … out of it" He said, as he stood in the middle of their living room.
Sakura wanted to say, is this what I really want? But instead she just said, "Work" and it was vague and annoying for Ethan. He didn't want a one word answer, he wanted the truth but she didn't want to give it to him.
She didn't want to give her heart to him either, he tried so hard to knock it down but she seemed to have that guard up around him.
And by god, he loved her – he loved her so much. But when would the games stop?
Then he said the unthinkable, she was hurt. No doubt about it.
"Is there someone else?"
Staring at him with hurt eyes, she didn't know what to say. "No, why would you think that?"
He threw his hands up in exhaustion and cried out, "It just seems everyday after work – you come home angry. And then you take it out on me, and I love you. I don't want to loose you – tell me… what can I fix?"
You can't fix anything Ethan. You're great. But are you for me?
--
"Ms Kinomoto" He spoke to her like she was some piece of shit that he didn't want to clean up. He didn't want to deal with her, be around her – smell her. Remember when he used to wrap his hands in her soft, wavy hair.
He didn't want to be reminded of her every fucking day. He had to come to work and see her – that was bad enough.
She glanced up; her eyes were dull and tired. It almost worried him, but he pushed that thought deep in his mind and ignored it.
"I want you to schedule an appointment with Vogue Asia, I'm doing a piece on business man of the year" he said, his ego swelling.
She just nodded her head, mute and he wondered what was wrong. He almost felt like sitting down and playing the shrink, but he didn't.
He fought an intense self battle everyday, and his best friend Eriol Hiiragizawa had called this annoying feeling 'love' but Syaoran, he doesn't fall in love.
"Also, there's a formal dinner coming up next Tuesday night. You're required to come, and please…" He paused, watching her reflection. She just stared at the computer, as if she was lifeless.
"…Please, bring Ethan" Her eyes shot up staring at him, wide eyed. He nodded and walked off towards his office cursing some obscenities under his breath. Saying his name was harder than he thought, he didn't want to speak his name, it was like saying the devils name.
It almost made him sick.
He felt sick just looking at her. He felt sick with himself, because he was allowing a woman to take control of him.
He felt sick because he wanted her so bad, and any other woman didn't compare to her.
He also felt sick because he didn't help her, he just ignored her feelings when obviously something was wrong, he hadn't seen that look since the last time they almost had sex in his office almost a year ago.
'I don't think we can do this anymore Syaoran, I'm sorry', her words rang through his head like a fog horn going off next to his ear. He glanced up at her, her hands still woven in his hair.
She was sitting on his lap, her lipstick smeared and her hair all mussed up. She looked delectable, irresistible, and sexy. He wanted to devour her right there.
'Is there someone else?' he found himself choking out; he was falling in love with her. He knew it, and it had been hard for Syaoran to ever really be in love…
She paused and crawled off his lap, before staring at him with the dead, lifeless look. "Yes" she said before running out of the office and down 26 floors, for some air.
For some sunshine. She needed life.
She felt dead, and he felt like killing himself, and her.
--
It's not going to be a one shot.