Becoming Syaoran Li

Summary: She never dreamed of sleeping with her boss, she never dreamed of falling in love with him, she never dreamed of becoming him. So technically, does she love herself then? SS AU

Disclaimer: I don't own this story; I own my ideas and extra added in characters.

Chapter Three:

Sabotage

It was nearing seven in the morning and Ethan had spent the night with some friends, they hadn't talked much since their big fight a few days ago. She left him assuming that there was someone else, she couldn't find her voice to say 'no baby, it's just you – you and me forever' although she knew that it was always going to be just them.

So he packed an overnight bag, scribbled a note and left for a few days saying he needed some time to think.

Sakura some how knew that things were getting rocky between them; she knew that she had been acting strange but the tension between her and Syaoran at work had been too much. Too much that she had been taking it out on Ethan at home, their sex life completely dead and their love slowly dwindling.

Sakura didn't know what she wanted anymore.

He was happy with his one or two girlfriends he had on the side, so why wasn't she happy?

She had to patch things up.

Heading out the apartment door, she came in contact with a little pink bag; everyone knew her favorite color was pink so she had no idea whom it was from. Probably Tomoyo, she wasn't expecting a gift from anyone else. Pushing the thought aside, she threw it into the apartment and headed out the door, searching for her boyfriend.

She got in her car and headed towards where he was staying, she didn't care how early it was. She knew he worked at 7:30, meaning he'd be leaving just as she pulled up, and she wanted him to come home.

She missed him terribly, that or she missed the man who reminded her of Syaoran everyday, she was unsure.

When she pulled up in front of his best friends' house, the lights were on and beer cans were strewn across the front lawn. She glanced at the house; it seemed as if they had a huge party last night, while she sat at home wasting away into nothing.

It wasn't like she expected him to come home though, after he had told her he needed time to think.

And she didn't want to play the needy girlfriend, who comes crawling back for their boyfriend after a rough breakup, but they never did break up and she didn't want to appear to just not care – so she did what she thought was right.

And got out of the car, walking up the sidewalk – her hair pulled back into a messy bun and clad in sweatpants, a total lazy day tradition between the two.

He always said I was beautiful even without make up and wearing sweatpants…

Heading up the cracked stairs onto the porch, Sakura took note of the worn condition of the small little house, with a little work – it could have been cute.

The front door was open, allowing light into the front foyer and there was empty, crushed beer cans lying lifelessly around, littering almost everything in sight. She thought about knocking, but said fuck it and headed in, stepping over beer cans and glanced around. She could hear snoring, so she turned left and headed into the living room, where a guy was passed out in the couch – dead to the world.

She recognized him as Ethan's best friend, Tai – he was tall and handsome but notorious for fooling around on women, and speaking of women – he had a beautiful blonde wrapped up in his arms, their clothing discarded both of them managing to fit on the small couch.

She chortled at the thought of them having sex openly in the living room, before heading up the spiral staircase; Ethan's car was outside meaning he was here. And then that's when she heard the shower, and assumed he was in it.

She had checked all of the rooms upstairs, people randomly sleeping on whatever they could find – most of them were passed out and dead to the world, half naked.

It must have been one hell of a party.

She headed towards the bathroom and turned the silver knob slowly (she had practice at work) before it could make any creaking noises, and poked her head in staring in the bathroom where she got the surprise of her life.

She could see Ethan's outline through the shower curtain and he was thrusting his hips, his body tense…

…And a few centimeters away, there was a woman's outline, and they were conjoined below the waist.

She felt like crying at the sight of it, but had to be strong. Shutting the door slightly, Sakura flew through the house as quickly as she could, the tears threatening to fall, and she felt herself tripping over her feet as she headed down the stairs, holding onto the rickety staircase handle.

How could he do this to her? They had a small fight and he ends up having sex with someone else?

Course, she had almost done it, but they had only been dating for a week – it's common for a lot of people to do that, it's called "keeping your options open" and that she was "only seeing him".

But he had confessed to her, he had told her that they were forever, were they forever now?

She sat in her car, totally heartbroken. She had to be at work in less than two hours but the thought of calling in sick clouded her mind and she punched in a familiar number into her cell phone, through blurry tears.

She started the car; she didn't want to be sitting outside of Tai's house when Ethan came out in fifteen minutes, to leave for work.

How long had this been going on for? Was this the reason that they're sex life sucked so badly? Was he cheating on her, for the last year of their relationship?

Before she could continue thinking, someone picked up – a groggy voice that sounded irritated. "What?" he snapped and she gasped, totally taken back as she did a sharp turn at the end of the block.

"S-Syaoran?" She tried to make it sound like she wasn't crying, but she was and as much as she wanted to hold it in, she couldn't.

It was like everything that had happened recently was hitting her like a brick falling down on someone – she might as well become depressed because at least the doctor could prescribe her something to take the pain away.

Even if it's just for a while.

"Err…"

"It's S-Sakura" she hiccupped and pulled up to a red light, her voice was shaky and quivering. She couldn't believe she had been so fucking stupid about it all.

"…Why are you calling me?" He asked, totally uninterested. He was looking at his nails, the way a woman would. He didn't seem to care, and she wondered if he even cared? Him of all people…

"…I won't be into work today. I just wanted to let you know…" she left the sentence hanging, and he sighed irritated.

"What happened, your dog died?" The sarcasm was evident in his tone.

Sakura swore under her breath as she swerved a ball in the middle of the road, she was speeding – deep down in hopes that someone pulled her over and put her in jail so she wouldn't be of any harm to herself.

"No…" she did the first thing, she lied. She knew that if she told him that her and Ethan broke it off, she'd be forced to find a date to the benefit in three days and she couldn't afford to do that, she needed this job. Of course, she hadn't broken it off with Ethan, but it was the best thing to do at this time. Or so she thought.

As much as she hated Syaoran right now – she needed the money, especially if she was going to be looking for a new place to stay.

She took a deep breath, her breath quivering – "No, I-…My grandma did, I'm sorry I ha-ave to go, I'll s-see you tomorrow. S-sorry" The tears seemed to fall harder as she told the lie; it wasn't like she was doing it on purpose. She shut the phone and held it against her chest, shutting her eyes tight. It hurt to think.

It was the fact that it really hit home and sunk in. She had to lie to his face and hope to hell that he'd come home. She couldn't be angry at him, just yet. She had to keep this quiet for another three days – at least and the thought of that, just killed her.

Before she realized it, she was sitting in front of Tomoyo's house, and although it was nearing eight a.m. she knew Tomoyo would be up. Her explorer was still in the driveway along with her boyfriend, Eriol.

Ah yes – she was dating Syaoran's best friend Eriol – the love sick puppy one, that wasn't a pussy and went after the girl he wanted.

And in the end, who had won? Definitely not Syaoran. He hadn't achieved anything – he was grumpy and lonely but masked it over like most men do.

She closed her car door before it even sunk in what she was doing, and rubbed her eyes slightly hoping they'd appear less red.

But of course, as soon as Eriol and Tomoyo opened the door – a perfect picture of the perfect couple, Sakura broke down.

And everything went black.

--

He had gotten the call early this morning. He had been on his way to work but had to do a quick detour appearing in front of the hospital, and now he didn't even really realize why he was even here.

They had had a fight the other day and she was ignoring him, so why couldn't he?

But of course, deep down he knew that it was the right thing to do, as her boyfriend and all.

So he stepped out of the car, tried to make himself look less hung-over and straightened his clothes out, before walking towards the hospital – plastering the worried look all over his face.

He was pissed at her, and couldn't remember much of last night except for the fact that he had gotten smashed and some cute little red head kept hitting on him all night. He had seen her around before and each time, they always ended up making out.

But it went a little too far this morning, he had ended up having sex with her almost three times, twice during the night and then one in the morning – a morning shower that turned naughty.

It was awesome, but he knew it was wrong – him and Sakura weren't over but if he didn't say anything for a while, she'd never know, right?

He met up with Tomoyo who smiled and hugged him, her boyfriend present on the side; he looked at him with solemn eyes. "What happened to her?"

Tomoyo sighed, "She came over early this morning, really upset – she could barely talk and I went to give her a hug and she passed out, hitting her head on the side of our cement plant pot outside our door. There was… was blood everywhere – I'm so sorry"

"…Is she dead?" He didn't mean for it to come out so bitterly, but it did and he immediately winced.

Before either Eriol or Tomoyo responded, another voice cut in – cutting the air like sharp glass, "No, she's not you dumbass. She's just resting. I haven't been able to wake her up"

Syaoran stood against a doorframe, observing her loyal, trusting boyfriend. Something about him today didn't seem so loyal…

"Well why wasn't she at work at this time?"

Syaoran narrowed his eyes, "Did you see her leave?"

Ethan shook his head no, and scratched the back of his neck nervously – he was far too hung-over to think. "I was at a buddies last night…"

Tomoyo sneezed and received three "bless you"s from the guys, and she smiled brightly – thanking them thoughtfully.

"She said her grandma died"

Tomoyo glanced at Syaoran, "her grandma's been dead for years…"

Ethan looked angry, "then what the hell is her problem! What has been bugging her, have you been giving her a hard time at work?" He pointed a finger at Syaoran's chest, accusingly.

He wanted to say yes because you have her but he stared down at Ethan's finger, and back up at him – "Don't touch me again and no, I haven't been bugging her or anything. It's like usual, just very stressful – but that's not a reason for something like this to happen, Sakura's a strong girl, this had to have been something…personal" he drawled out the word and watched Ethan's eyes for a split second, widen and go back to normal.

"…Our dog died the other day" Ethan lied, as he glanced down at the bright flooring of the hospital. Tomoyo gasped, "Kiergo died!? She was such a sweetheart…awww."

Eriol quickly hushed her, a feeling that he was sure Syaoran had as well, bubbling deep in his gut, "Would that make Sakura upset?"

Ethan nodded as he sat down, and took a fistful of hair in his hand and sighed. Shit was so fucked up, how was he going to fix this one?

--

They had pushed the benefit back almost a week, it was crucial that Sakura and Ethan attended and after she was released from the hospital a day later, she was given a few days (graciously) by Syaoran off for "stress leave", Ethan stayed home and they mended things up.

Except for the fact that she couldn't kiss him without seeing that scene replay in her mind, over and over again and she hadn't talked about it with anyone – not even Tomoyo. She had just said her dog died and then gave it to a family friend when she returned home.

It was believable, right? Surely everyone believed her.

Otherwise, she was a cooked goose who'd be left wondering what the hell she was going to do with herself.

While Ethan had been at work one day, she had received a packet of roses, the card missing. She shrugged – assuming it was Ethan, he had played the part well – the loving boyfriend and she wondered every night, as the scene replayed over and over again – how she really, missed the signs.

Of course, she hadn't heard from Syaoran and the benefit was tomorrow night – Ethan promised he'd come and she still hadn't found a dress.

That's when she found the little pink bag that she had left in the apartment that morning, opening it curiously – she didn't see any card, but folded neatly up inside was a dark, emerald fabric that shimmered under the light.

She was slightly confused but lifted it out of the package and let it fall down – it was a long, dark emerald green shiny dress that was strapless and would accentuate her eyes and curves.

"Guess I found my dress" she said, with a bit of bitterness in her voice – whether she meant it or not, she was unsure.

She was also slightly unsure of how things would go tomorrow night, she hoped for the best but she had a rising suspicion that things wouldn't work out how she wanted them to.

--

Review please. 

I'm also a few chapters ahead ;)