Thou needs a new sofa, Sire Chapter 2, a tv x-overs fanfic

Chapter 2! This chapter was written by my friend...there will be differences in the writing styles and unfortunatley...her chapters will probably all be shorter than mine...so keep on reading and enjoy!

Cardiff

It was two thirty in the morning and Ianto was bored. In fact he was more than bored, he was really bored. He couldn't go home in case the computers picked something up about the Rift and Gwen had gone home which left him. Ianto wondered from the autopsy bay up to Jack's office. The leader was nowhere to be seen. Ianto thought that he was probably off thinking about everything that had happened. Wherever Jack was, Ianto knew he would be back. Jack wouldn't leave them again, not now.

The new coffee machine beeped signalling that his test run of a black coffee was finished. Ianto walked over to it and immediately wished the team hadn't bought it. What he thought would be a black coffee actually turned out to be a sticky coffee glue substance that filled the bottom of the cup.

"I'm never using this thing again! Why do they insist on buying these things?" Even though the old wives tale says that the first sign of madness is talking to yourself, Ianto didn't care. He was so bored he would have talked to a post in the ground about the existence of leprechauns, if he had a post to talk to.

The low-risk warning system started to make a lot of noise. Glad of something to do, Ianto ran up to the computer to check it out. The screen informed him that another Weevil was roaming Cardiff. A map popped up tracking the Weevil as it ran down by the docks. Strangely the circle disappeared but the warning system was still at full blast. It didn't pop up again for five minutes. When it reappeared it had moved away from the docks and further into the city centre. Instead of being bored, Ianto was now irritated. He had no idea how to switch the alarm off. He pressed a few buttons and the screen went black. "Oops!"

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Gwen shut her front door, threw her keys onto the table and made her way to the kitchen. She had the niggling feeling that she was supposed to have done something tonight but what is was, she had no idea. Gwen slid her jacket off her arms and laid it on the tall stool in front of her. She's left her bag back at the Hub but she had her phone in her pocket along with her purse and before she walked in her keys were in there too. As she emptied her pockets onto the kitchen counter, her phone began to ring. Caller id told her that it was her husband Rhys. That was when the penny dropped about what she was supposed to be doing.

Gwen flipped up the lid of her phone, "Hi Rhys."

"I've been calling the house for ages. Where have you been and where are you? I'm sat here like an idiot!" Rhys sounded angry. Gwen knew he didn't mean to sound that way but lately things had been slipping her mind easily.

"Yeah, I'm sorry things took a bit longer than I expected. Ianto never could quite get the hang of the computers. Anyway I'm just on my way to you now ok." It wasn't completely false but it wasn't completely true either. It wasn't Ianto and the computers she had been dealing with, it was more dealing with the death of her two friends and technically she was on her way as she grabbed her jacket at the same time.

"Fine. I'll be here waiting for you. Oh and Gwen, I'm bloody starving so hurry up!" Rhys put the phone down before Gwen could reply. Looks like she was going out again.

Gwen could hear the distant sound of her mobile phone ringing. As she got more awake Gwen realised what time it was. Two thirty in the morning, this had better be good. Dinner with Rhys had been great and now lying next to Rhys felt better. She answered without even bothering to see who it was.

"Yeah?" a tired Gwen said into the mouthpiece.

"Gwen, it's Ianto. We have a problem. I need you."

"Well that was interesting." Remarked Gwen as she pulled off her goo covered jacket.

"Yeah sorry about that Gwen but you know me, I just about know how to use the new coffee machine without adding Tosh's computer to it!" Ianto replied. He walked over to Jack's office to see if their boss was in. Finding the office empty, Ianto followed Gwen down to the Autopsy bay where she had left the equipment on steel table.

"Have you seen Jack this morning?" enquired the Welshman.

"I haven't seen him since John went back two days ago. Why isn't he here?" Gwen was getting slightly worried. The last time Jack disappeared she'd had to run Torchwood and with Tosh and Owen gone, she wasn't sure she could do it again.

Just then, the hub door rolled back to reveal a slightly drunk Captain Jack Harkness.

"Fly me to the moon and let me sing among the stars…la dida be doop doop!" Jack sang at full volume. He walked through the door and immediately tripped and fell forwards hitting his head on the stairs.

"JACK! What the hell is wrong with you?" Gwen shouted at the giggly man as she rushed over to help him up.

"Gwen *hiccup* Cooper. My favourite Welsh citizen!" Using Gwen as support, Jack slowly got to his feet and almost fell backwards.

"Well that shows how much he thinks of me then doesn't it." Ianto joked.

"Ianto Jones." Burped Jack, "My favourite Welsh citizen!" Jack stepped forward to go up the stairs but fell again and once again hit his head off the metal stairs.

Gwen and Ianto looked at each other, both with a look of shock and horror on their faces. For as long as they had known Jack they had never seen him this way and didn't think they ever would.

"So *burp* what do you need me for?" the drunken Jack stumbled up the stairs and towards Ianto who was standing outside Jack's office.

"Jack, we needed you over an hour ago! Where have you been? Wait that's obviously a stupid question." Gwen went back to the autopsy bay and checked the equipment. She didn't want to be around Jack right now. She couldn't believe how selfish he had been. Getting drunk without thinking how this would affect her and Ianto but that's what Jack did, he made decisions without consulting anyone.

Ianto noticed how angry Gwen was and he felt the same way. It was like Jack thought he was the only one who'd had a bad time recently, like he forgotten that they all missed Tosh and Owen. Ianto understood that Jack had found and then lost his brother again but Jack knew better than that.

The Rift Warning system on the computer brought Ianto back into the real world.

"Gwen! Get up here! Quick!" Ianto had heard the alarm before but Tosh always handled the computer just like Ianto handled the coffee machine.

Gwen ran up the stairs like a bullet from a gun. She ran over to the computer to see what was going on.

"The Rift is working over time. There's something coming through and going out to…… well to God knows where!" Gwen shouted as more noise got added to the warning siren. The ground started to shake and she had to grab hold of the desk to stop herself from falling. She made her way back to the stairs hoping to get out of the Hub alive. However she wasn't fast enough because right at that moment she got hit by a beam of light that made her feel like she was being turned inside out.

Unfortunately Jack had no such luck. He fell to the floor just as a beam of light headed straight for him. Instead the light hit the Torchwood sofa and Ianto thought he was seeing things when the sofa disappeared.

Ianto was holding onto the bars above the autopsy bay when the light struck him. He felt like his head was going to explode. He had no idea what was happening to the others. The last thing Ianto heard was Jack saying how much of a bad idea that last double Vodka was.

The ground finally stopped shaking and Jack scrambled to his feet.

"Wow! Was it just me or was the floor shaking?" Jack looked around to see where Ianto and Gwen where but he was alone. Where the hell had they gone? Jack took a few careful steps over to the computers which told him that the Rift had stabilised. Jack looked beyond the computer and into the middle of the Hub.

"What the…"

Heh heh...the cliffy is actually quite funny...and drunk!Jack is so funny! And so good to work with when writing a story...plenty of humor for y'all

Again...reviews are loved...and i still have plenty of cookies for everyone!