Disclaimer:

Shellshard14: Super Smash Bros. isn't mine. But it soon will be! When this time machine becomes operational, I shall use it to go back in time and overthrow the CEO of Nintendo. Soon I'll be the new CEO and control shall be mine! Muahahahahahahaha!!!

(Sparks fly at face)

Shellshard14: Oww!

Pit: Don't mind him. He won't be taking over Nintendo anytime soon. Anyways, enjoy the fic!

Note: We'll have decided to go more straightforward with our titles. No more titles that sound like an action packed anime episode.

Chapter 11: Off To See The Dark Lord

It was a quiet night at the Scrapper's Club located at the midpoint of the wilderness. It was a haven for scum and villainy, and was decorated like such. The guests were also very rowdy, and quiet nights at the Scrapper's Club were as common as fans of E.T. the video game. For an inexplicable reason, everyone was drinking a reasonable amount.

Anyways, one certain King K. Krool was kicked out of the club. Staggering around, he turned around and glared at the bouncer. "How come I was kicked out? I thought villains could get as drunk as they want!" King K. Krool snarled at the bouncer, the smell of alcohol being even more pronounced as ever. "Because you were getting so obnoxious even for villain standards." King K. Krool blew "So? I wasn't that out of line." The Bouncer slapped the side of his face. "Really? How was forcing to make Zant to gulp down a whole gallon of beer 'not that out of line?'

King K. Rool turned away and was stumbling to his castle still drunk and still fuming. "Blasted bouncers throwing me out when I wanted to drown out my troubles. Why is it their business to decide when I had enough? I can quit anytime I want, so forget them." While Rool was fuming, a lone figure bumped its shoulder against Rool.

"Hey, watch it, buddy!" Krool snarled. "How about you watch it, drunkie?" The figure shot back in reply. Krool's face turned to the most potent shade of red. In response, he grabbed the figure's shoulder and spun him around. The figure looked to be neither obscenely short nor tall, but rather in the middle. Other than that, Rool couldn't tell anymore. The night concealed his face, which is pretty cheesy considering how many people pulled that one off.

"Didn't your mother tell you to respect your superiors?" Krool growled. The figure scoffed. "Not when your superiors abuse their power and/or alcohol." That reply only served to anger Krool even more. "Now listen here, Punk! No one and I mean, no one insults the great AUGH!" The stranger's fist connected with Krool's jaw. Krool stood up then dropped down in a heap. The stranger grunted, "No wonder your subjects despise you…"

The bouncer leaned against the door, waiting for any more people. He stared at the moon. "The night is still young…" The bouncer thought bitterly. Suddenly his attention was drawn to the lone figure coming towards the door. Before the stranger could come in, the bouncer stretched out his arm to block the person.

"Hey kid, why don't you go home? You're too young for such a place." The bouncer mocked. The guy stood unfazed. "I'm not here to get wasted. I need info, and besides I hear they got nice root beers here." The bouncer shrugged. "Okay, your funeral."

Inside the club, some villains were at the bar, drinking away the despair of their foiled evil plans. Some were playing pool, cards, anything to mooch some money away. Others were discussing stuff with other villains, like their undying hatred for their foes, future evil plans, how the wife wants them to get real and get a job, stuff like that.

Everything stopped when everyone looked to appraise the newcomer. Silently, the figure walked in the midst of them. Stares and some snarls followed the figure as he made his way to the bar. When the person sat down, the rest of the patrons went back to their business.

The bartender came up and asked "Whadda want?" The kid replied in a voice that could have belonged to a 16 year old kid. "Root Beer, please." The bartender raised an eyebrow in suspicion, but rummaged through the drink cabinet anyway.

The person was tapping a finger in impatience. When the bartender placed a can of root beer in front of him, the person mumbled thanks and reached for the cup. Taking a sip, he sighed in pleasure. "So it's true…" The man turned his head to the bartender. "There's good beer here.

"Sagittarius…" The angel-like figure tilted his head. "Though my first name is Pit and you usually call people by their first name, I'll let that slide since I sorta like being called by my last name." The bartender gulped. "You are very famous in the underworld…" Pit rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, reminiscing aside, I came here for info. Do you have any info on Ga…?" Pit was interrupted by the bartender. "Don't say that name, Sagittarius!"

"What, Ganondorf?"

Somewhere in the real world, a human named Jeff was taking his Labrador puppy, Flippy, out for a walk. Suddenly, Flippy spotted a squirrel and started to chase in traffic. Jeff could only watch in horror as Flippy and the squirrel expertly dodged cars and motorcycles. Finally, Jeff sighed in relief as the squirrel and Flippy were running back. Unfortunately, a concrete truck hit both of them and poured its contents on both animals. Plus, Jeff watched in horror as the concrete truck tipped over and crushed both of them.

"Okay, man. Don't hold out on me. You know where Ganon is held up. Please man, I've been through scorching deserts, icy tundras, outer space, had to make a second trip through icy tundras, blasted rainforests, icy tundras a third time, and finally through a room containing Tingle, Mr. Resetti with a copy of Twilight the Movie. Twilight the book was bad enough, then they had to cast a Harry Potter star as the main character. That's twice the fan girls already!" Pit ranted when the bartender held his hand up.

"Fine man, seeing you're so determined. His lair is north of here, 20 minutes from now." The bartender blew. "Thanks for the tip and root beer." Pit replied as he laid down a couple of smash coins and walked away.

"Still man, why did you just survive one hellicious trip only to probably die at the hands of a race car driver's wizard clone?" Pit tilted his head. "Apparently the wizard of spazz couldn't take being defeated by green fetish man, so he decided to steal his voice to earn moral victory." Now it was the bartender's turn to tilt his head. "Why then did they send you to retrieve something so trivial?"

Pit sighed as he exited. "Apparently, it's a little harder to express your feelings without a voice. Right now Zelda hates him for it."

Time skipping 20 minutes…

On a nearby hill overlooking the entrance of Ganon's lair, Pit had crawled uphill and was strategizing. Pulling a container that read "Dual purpose: blatant copyright and convenient plot device," he opened it to reveal binoculars. Using them, he then began plot his entry. We will now show you snippets of Pit's sneaking.

A guard was walking around, looking for something out of the ordinary. It should interest the reader that he was guarding the place with the most boxes, basically meaning one should hope that he picked out his resting place. Unfortunately, he was busy looking around at the entrance he failed to notice one really big cardboard beginning to move towards him. Feel free to play some jaws music. Soon the box was right next to the ignorant man. The box began to lift, revealing Pit inside. Slowly lifting the box over the guard, he slammed it down on himself and the guard. The guard yelled in fright, only to be silenced.

A guard and another guard were approaching an intersection that had a copy of Michelangelo's David. "Yo Bob." First guard greets the second. "Hello, Steve." The two started to fist bump. Then Bob noticed something. "Hey, Steve. Notice anything weird?" Steve looked around, not noticing the David had brown hair. Steve shook his head. Bob shrugged. "Maybe I'm still hung-over." "Maybe it's because you take time to appreciate art." Both guard turned towards the David who was now crouching next to them. Before they could react, Pit slammed both of their heads together.

The final room that was before Ganon's room was crawling with guards. Spotlights, chainguns, flying monkeys, the boogeyman, heck they even got most of the Twilight cast to come with their fangirls. Pit was planning what to do.

"Hey, guards!" Everyone turned their heads to look at a brown haired angel standing in the middle of the room. Every guard smirked. He was a fool to go it alone, which was until Pit pulled out a couple of magazines and held them up for all to see. Everyone went goo-goo eyed and ran out the door when Pit threw them out. "Gosh, a couple of Playboy magazines, and they gladly run out the door."

Pit shrugged to began to walk towards the door only to be stopped by the wall of Twilight fangirls. Pit looked the other way and looked at the group of Twilight characters that closed the other way. They were beginning to close in on him. Pit shrugged, while reaching inside his toga. Why bother asking such mary-sues why they were here?

Pit looked around before shouting. "Nobody move, or your teen idols go bye-bye." Everyone looked at everyone else, before laughing at the foolish guy. Edward sneered. "Go ahead and try, you'll be dead before you know." The fangirls started to invade Pit's personal space.

Pit shrugged. "Okay, you asked for it." Pit brought it out for all to see. The Twilight characters took one look, and then screamed out in one accord as they burst into flames. The Twilight fan girls immediately fell down and wept as Pit walked by, looking at his weapon.

"I never thought that my butt would be saved by a British boy wizard with a lightning bolt scar." Pit thanked J.K. Rowling by throwing the book into the bonfire. Pit sighed before pushing away the doors.

Ganondorf was sitting on a huge throne in a vastly empty room. In a deep and very menacing voice, he called out to Pit "I'm guessing you're here to try to regain back Link's voice back." Pit called back "Pretty much." Ganondorf sighed "This is what I get when I hire people from the Solid Snake Series." Soon Ganondorf appeared in front of Pit. "Well, count this as the end of the line."

One massive butt whooping later…

Pit's body laid busted and broken as Ganondorf walked up to him. "Now to take your most prized possession that is currently on your person." His hand came away with a scrapbook.

Ganondorf's eyes widened as he examined the title. It read 'Dark Magician Girl Fanart Scrapbook.' Ganondorf smirked as he began to walk away. "Ooooo, Dark Magician Girl. This should be interesting.

As chance would have it, Pit woke up to see Ganondorf walking away with his scrapbook in his clutches. At the same time, Pit's hand went to the portable boombox and the mysterious Mix X.

At that point, Pit's conscience appeared to him in the form of an Angel and Fallen. "Pit, no! Not Mix X! Even Ganondorf doesn't deserve that." Pit turned to the Fallen. "Aren't you supposed to tempt me?" The fallen shook his head. "I don't think you should do it either." Pit gestured to Ganondorf. "But guys! He's got the scrapbook!"

At that moment, all concern for Ganondorf disappeared. "Then what are you waiting for? Put that bad boy in!" Pit yelled "Ganondorf, surrender or suffer." Ganondorf looked at him with a smirk. "Ha! The only thing that can hurt me is a Harry Potter book, movie, or piece of merchandise. I highly doubt you possess any of that." Pit put on earplugs. "Yeah, but I have this."

A few minutes later…

Ganondorf was now curled into a ball, shivering and sucking on his thumb. Pit twirled his scrapbook and the bottle that contained Link's voice. "That's what you get for messing with my scrapbook. Now to get this thing to Link and get my Duel!" Pit then took out a town portal scroll (swiped from Ganondorf) and activated it. A portal leading to Hyrule opened. Pit then stepped through, the portal lasting for a second longer before it disappeared.

A/N: Want to know what Mix X is? Use your imagination…